The following are the top four winners of a
Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in the "New Woman Magazine"
1.) While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up
energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks
of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start
behaving "right now",she would bepunished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last
of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing
I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
Amy Richardson Stafford,Virginia
2.) It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a
romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone
ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to
the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get
dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on
and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!!" My entire family, aunts, uncles,
Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and
I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
Tim Cahill Poughkeepsie, New York
3.) One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a long
time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she
finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag.
Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for
all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood
the word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back
over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE
KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER???"
4.) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around,
scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was
going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been
circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him go down to the principal's
office, he was to call his mother, and ask her what he should do about it. He did it
and he returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his seat Suddenly, there was
a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him
sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom."
she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till
noon,she'd come and pick me up from school.."
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