"My Dog, Sex"
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine Sex.
Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to
renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license
for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I said, "But this is a
dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "But you
don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I
must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I
told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special
room for Sex. He said every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You
don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night!" The clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began,
the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there
looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He
told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I
said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the
dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge
said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He
said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him.
A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00
in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."
My case comes up Friday. (
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