MacHiei
by
Pan
Pro-Epilogue
So we end the
great tale told by Shakespeare mutilated by a fic
author...
Macbeth... MacHiei...
Hiei: I am
*GLAD* I am still alive.
Yukina: Hiei-san!
Hiei: Suddenly,
I don't feel so glad...
Yukina: *starts
getting all fussy* Are you hurt? Ew, you smell of grapes...
Do you have
any broken bones or torn skin tissues? I've been improving and
I'm now a
great healer...
Hiei: *choking
sounds*
Actors,
clear the stage... audiences, thank you very much... really
sincerely,
would you like to stay? There's yet another more interesting
programme
coming up, right in stall for you...
Kurama: Now's
a good time to tell her who you are, Hiei.
Hiei: *choke*
WHAT?!
Yukina: Tell
me what, Kurama-san?
Kurama: Hiei
has something to tell you.
Yukina: Hiei-san?
Hiei: ...
Kurama: Tell
her!
Yukina: Huh?
Hiei: Yukina...
I... I... *turns away* How am I supposed to do this, Kurama?
Kurama: It's
very simple. You just tell the truth.
Hiei: Telling
the truth is not simple. Not for me.
Yukina: Hiei-san!
Hiei: *GULP*
Hn?
The innocent
Yukina pulls Hiei to one side, deviating herself from
Kurama, who
does not seem to mind a little bit.
Kurama: It's
his problem, let him settle it himself.
Mukuro: What's
that in your hands, Kurama?
Kurama: Ummm...
the fic writer just passed it to me. Let's take a look
together.
Yukina: Hiei-san...
I... would like to ask you a question... *blush*
Hiei: ...
*GULP* And what is that?
Yukina: You
know... Kazuma-san just asked me whether we could 'get married.'
There
is a three seconds pause as everybody nearby who has heard the
lines turn
around to watch Hiei's reaction.
Hiei: What's
'get married'?
Yukina: I
don't know... but Kazuma-san said to get married, the girl needs
to have someone
from her family to be present...
Hiei: And
what does it concern m-... oh no...
Yukina: Yes...
Hiei: *MORE
GULPS*
Yukina: *edging
closer* Hiei-san...
Hiei: YES?
Yukina: Hiei-san!
Since I haven't been able to find my brother... could you
please stand
in as my brother? Please?
Hiei: *That
was close...* Um... but... what's 'get married'?
Yukina: I
don't know?
The audience
is spared from another 'have you found my brother'
episode...
but is churned into another disastrous one...
Mukuro and
Kurama: GASP!!
Kurama: NO!
Mukuro: It
can't be!
Kurama: NOOOO!!!
Why me... ??? MUKURO!
Mukuro: Well,
there's nothing I can do... in fic-kality, the author rules...
Shizuru and
Genkai: What's going on?
Mukuro: Take
a look at this.
The three
girls are having very much fun with the script I have just
passed to
Kurama. Hmmm... I'm sure they've gotten the message pretty well...
haven't you
girls?
Genkai: I don't
believe this...
Shizuru: I
REFUSE to believe this!!
Mukuro: Let's
face it girls, and get out of here as soon as we can...
Mumbling, they exit the stage.
Kurama: No
wait! Don't go, girls!
Genkai: Well,
you've read what's on that thing too.
Kurama: Don't
leave me alone here!
Shizuru: Kurama,
you're a guy, not a girl.
Kurama: I
know.
Mukuro: So
stay put and be good. We're going offstage to watch.
The devastated Kurama re-examines the script with distaste.
Kurama: Why are you doing this to me...
Because I'm biased.
Keiko: What's
up, Kurama-sama?
Kurama: *hastily
hides the script* Nothing much! And... you'll be staying on
stage wouldn't
you?
Keiko: Huh?
Of course I will... I still need to patch up the hole in the
stage...
Kurama: But
after that???
Keiko: I'll
be offstage! Ahahahahaa... Kurama-sama, everybody's received a
copy of the
script you're hiding already...
Kurama: Is
that so...
Kuronue: Yup.
Yomi: Hoh
hoh hoh hoh... I pity you, Kurama...
Karasu: I
don't.
Kurama: LEAVE
ME ALONE! AAAAAAAAAA!!!
Hiei: Hn.
Big talk. You can handle it, Kurama.
Kurama: *buries
head in hand* Even Hiei is saying this. I'm doomed for.
Karasu: Yes
you are, my dear fox...
Kurama: I
AM NOT YOUR FOX !@#$%^&^*%#!
Karasu: *flips
through script* Hmmm... okay... soon-to-be-mine fox...
Yukina: Bye
bye, Hiei 'brother'! All the best to you, boys!
Remember,
Kurama, that you promised Hiei he would never have to star
as a lead
in another one of my warped Shakespeare turnovers. You got your
wish... I
intended to cast Hiei as the lead, but based on your promise...
Kurama: But you're too much!
And how am I too much?
Kuronue: Well,
let's put it this way. You've removed all the girls from the
play completely.
Look here... it's in big, bold letters on top of the first
page of the
script... "ALL MALE CAST"...
Audiences,
please don't be mistaken... in Shakespearean times, women
were not allowed
to act, so young boys who looked and sounded like girls
were usually
asked to do the female roles. In trying to keep with the
absolute realisticism
of the play, I have resorted to casting an all male
cast in the
next Shakespeare challenge.
Kurama: I demand
that I switch roles!
Karasu: *dismayed*
But why?
Kurama: BECAUSE
OF YOU!
Now now
now... people, 'Romeo and Juliet' is not a very hard play to
play along
with...
Kurama: NOT
WHEN YOU'RE ACTING AS JULIET!!
Yomi: Hoh
hoh hoh... more more and more interesting...
Hiei: Hn.
Ne, Kurama, it's now YOUR turn to be feeling the anxieties to be a
lead of a
lousy play... MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Kurama: You
dare gloat?
Hiei: *GULP*
No... I wasn't... gloating...
And so
we also begin the prologue of another great Shakespearean
challenge.
May I, audiences, have the permission to introduce the bereaved
cast of Romeo
and Juliet to you...
Romeo
Montague... or should I say...
Karasu: Karasumeo...
pleased to meet you.
Kurama: *wails*
Life is hard on me...
And I
don't have to introduce our next main lead... but Juliet
Capulet...
Kurama: *sigh*
Kuramaliet, and I'm not pleased to meet anybody in this...
Karasu: *laughs*
Life is being very kind to me...
Plus,
all our side characters, also very important to the play,
which we shall
now be known to.
Yuusuke: Yahoo!!
I am Lord Yuutague. Father of Karasumeo.
Kuwabara:
WHAT?!?! How could I, suave and handsome, tall and brave Kuwabara
Kazuma be
actually acting as a girl!? Lady Kuwatague... this is ridiculous!
Don't
you think your voice is near one of the female qualities? Say
no more, Lady
Kuwatague... you will do very fine... next please.
Yomi: Hoh hoh
hoh... more and more interesting! Can you believe I was casted
as Lady Yomipulet?
Oho hoh hoh hoh hoh...
Raizen: At
least I'm a guy... but the one acting as my wife is...
Yomi: Shut
up. You think I want this? Hmmm... wait a minute, does this
entitle me
to Raizen's part of Makai should we get a 'divorce'? Hmmm...
Raizen: I
am Lord Raizenpulet. And no, you will get none of my inheritance.
Yuusuke: They're
all mine! AHAHAHAH!!
Very well, lords and ladies...
Kuronue: Friar
Kuronue is pleased to meet you. I play a major part, because
I marry off
someone in the play...
Hiei: Hn.
Count PaHieiRis.
Bui: Best
friend of Karasumeo, Buicutio.
Koenma: Prince
of the fair city Verona, Prince Koenma.
Ani: Cousin
of Kuramaliet, Anibalt.
Ototo: Cousin
of Karasumeo, Ototolio.
And the
others, are some meessy maassy characters I can find off the
Ankoku Bujuutsukai
and henchmen of Sensui...
Jin: Oh no...
Touya: It's
our turn?
Chuu: Hmm...
*HIC*... what did *HIC* you say?
Rinko: I don't
have a very nice feeling about this at all...
The names
are confusing, my dear audiences, but I hope this will not
deter you
from reading about the tragic and touching tale of the two 'star
crossed lovers'...
Romeo and Juliet... or should I say...
Kurama: Wait a minute.
Any more role rejections, Kurama?
Kurama: Didn't you say you were a non-yaoist?
I still am.
Kurama: Then... why the sudden pairing up... :::shudders:::
Hah hah
hah hah... you'll see what I mean by threading on the thin
line of yaoi
and non-yaoi. Audiences, the following play is essentially non
yaoi... you
may read it in another way, of course, just don't tell me. In
any case...
the scene is set... Karasumeo and Kuramaliet... shall to the end
of the tale
be told as yet...
Karasu: Ahah
ahhahaa... come, my dear fox...
Kurama: *gives
Karasu a tight slap*
Karasu: Ouch...
Kurama: Hm...
I've ALWAYS wanted to do that...
END PRO-EPILOGUE
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