¡°Well I think that is strange, but nothing we should worry about,¡± Setsuna said.
¡°I don¡¯t love Mamu-chan,¡± Usagi whispered.
They gasped.
¡°Na ne!?¡± Rei screamed.
¡°It¡¯s the past. It¡¯s in the past I loved him, not now.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t mean that Usagi-chan. You must not scare us like that,¡± Setsuna said.
¡° I do I mean every word. I was blinded by the past. I know I was in love with a
fairy tale.¡±
¡°Usagi-chan you loved him and you always will! I will not forgive you for this. I
cannot stay. Come on Michiru.¡± Haruka said.
¡°No Haruka. I must stay here Usagi is our friend.¡±
¡°Fine stay I don¡¯t care. Ja.¡±
Usagi began to cry. She was all mixed up.
If I don¡¯t love Mamoru than who do I love? Seiya-kun do I love him? No he¡¯s just
a good friend. Not a good friend like Mamoru. What do I mean?
¡°Usagi, Do you mean it? Think, do you really mean it?¡± Michiru asked.
¡°Yes I do. Unfortunately I do. I don¡¯t know what to do. I don¡¯t want to hurt him,
but I don¡¯t want to be with him. What about Chibi-Usa?¡±
¡°That¡¯s it that¡¯s what was bothering me. I knew something was missing. Usagi-
Chan Chibi-Usa is not, will never be anyone¡¯s daughter.¡±
She cried harder when Setsuna said that.
¡°I thought I loved him, demo I didn¡¯t love him. All those times I cried were
because I lost a friend. Not a boyfriend. A great friend.¡±
¡°Usagi do you want someone to take you home?¡± asked Rei.
¡°No, I don¡¯t want to go back there, not today.¡±
¡°You can stay at my apartment Usagi,¡± Makoto said.
¡°Arigato Mako-chan.¡±
She speed up to 100kmph (60mph). She didn¡¯t get it. If one thing was determined
in life, it was them. She had to calm down.
Remember Haruka-chan nothing in life is determined by anyone. Haruka-chan
don¡¯t count on anything in life.
¡°Shut up mother. I hate you. You¡¯re dead. Why won¡¯t these voices go away.
You¡¯re wrong. You always had to be right. Never wrong,¡± Haruka said.
She began to cry. The last time she even talked to her mother was right before her
death. They had a huge fight over those words. She hated these feelings. She didn¡¯t know
what to do. Usually she would go for a ride and it would be all right. This time it just
made her madder. Her mother made her feel bad. Feel like she failed in society. That¡¯s
why she ran away. Only her mother could break her spirit like this.
¡°Damn it, She was always right.¡± She sobbed.
Haruka-chan it failed. Don¡¯t turn your back on me, you know I¡¯m right. Fine go
Haruka-chan, but where? Where are you going to live?
¡°Even after she¡¯s dead she has to say I told you so. It¡¯s always like her.¡±
She pulled up to pick up Hotaru from her father. She went up and knocked on the
door.
¡°Just a minute.¡±
He opened the door.
¡°Konnichi wa Haruka.¡±
¡°Konnichi wa Tomoe-san.¡±
¡°Hotaru Haruka¡¯s here.¡±
¡°Hold on papa,¡± She called back.
Hotaru came rushing down the stairs. She hugged her father.
¡°See you tomorrow.¡± She called when she got into the car.
¡°Did you have a good time Hotaru-chan?¡±
¡°Hai Haruka-papa. We went to the park and then out for some ice cream.¡±
Haruka forced herself to smile. They finally got back to the house. They got
inside. Hotaru went into the kitchen.
¡°Where¡¯s Setsuna-mama and Michiru-mama?¡±
¡°They went to see someone. They should be back shortly. You want to help me
with dinner?¡±
¡°Well can we order out? Please? I¡¯ve been really good.¡±
¡°Okay just tonight. What shale we order?¡±
¡°Chinese!¡±
¡°Taiki it¡¯s for you,¡± Yaten said.
¡°Moushi Moushi, yes. Cancel why? Oh dear. That¡¯s not like her. Okay I won¡¯t tell
him. Yup bye Ami-chan.¡±
¡°Won¡¯t tell him what?¡± Yaten asked.
¡°Seiya, where is he?¡±
¡°Football practice, that sport is barbaric. Guy slamming into each other. It¡¯s
stupid. You see why Seiya plays that American game. I don¡¯t know how anyone could
even watch it, let alone play it.¡±
¡°Ami said that they¡¯re meeting with Usagi for the pass few hours and tomorrow
because she¡¯s confused.¡±
¡°So she¡¯s confused most of the time.¡±
¡°No that¡¯s not what I meant. I mean her feelings are mixed up. She claims she
doesn¡¯t love her boyfriend. Ami doesn¡¯t want Seiya to know because she doesn¡¯t want
her falling in love with him right away.¡±
¡°Who would want anyone to fall in love with Seiya? That¡¯s just really weird. Sure
they are the same some ways. Like there stupid and whiny.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t get love Yaten. If you were a cat you would, I bet. God forbid you¡¯re
a human in your next life. He burden¡¯s you this time.¡±
¡°Damn right.¡±
¡°Nice try. I saw you falling for Minako-chan the other day.¡±
¡°I was not. Seiya tricked me. I was not.¡±
¡°You love her don¡¯t you.¡±
¡°No I don¡¯t. Of course I don¡¯t.¡±
¡°You do.¡±
¡°I hate when you¡¯re right. This sucks. One thing I thought I wouldn¡¯t do and I did
it.¡±
¡°Hi guys! I knew you would Yaten¡± Seiya called.
¡°Damn it Taiki, now Seiya knows.¡±
¡°Guess what I heard from Minako-chan!¡±
¡°What¡¯s that Seiya?¡± Taiki asked.
¡°Usagi-chan doesn¡¯t love her boyfriend any more. Isn¡¯t that wonderful.¡±
¡°I have to call some one,¡± Taiki said.
¡°WHAT! I¡¯m going to kill her! She can¡¯t keep her mouth shut around any guy.
We all agreed on this. Gomen was I really yelling. Gomen. Ja.¡±
I swear Minako-chan is in deep trouble.
¡°Rei-chan, It¡¯s me. The cat is out of the bag. Guess who let it out. Minako-chan.¡±
She had to hold the receiver out from her face. She could still here Rei screaming.
¡°It¡¯s unforgivable. I¡¯m sorry for her. On top of that, you storm out. You know
how much she needs all of us. What were you thinking?! Wait you weren¡¯t I bet.¡±
¡°Sorry I lost my head Michiru. Things in my life that are triggered that I cannot
deal with as easily as some.¡±
¡°It was pretty mean of you. She is so confused. You are going to apologize.¡±
¡°Of course. I realize that was out of line. I¡¯m very sorry. I just can¡¯t handle things
right now as well as could when I was younger.¡±
¡°What can¡¯t you handle now?¡±
¡°Memories, Bad memories, my childhood.¡±
¡°Why?¡±
¡°Today just really reminded me of how much I hate my mother. How her words
of advise haunts me to this day. How she is always right. How she will always be there to
rub it in my face. How she always thought of me as a failure. How I could never live up
to her standards. That nothing in life is determined already.¡±
¡°Well you¡¯re not a failure. You are Haruka Tenoh a successful person. You help
raise a little girl who loves all of us. You inspire her to be great. You teach her she can
always be successful if she works hard. How anyone can overcome obstacles that sit in
front of them. The only thing that is a fault in you is your temper. At least you know how
to calm down when you¡¯re irritated.¡±
¡°Your right, I fell horrible and I¡¯m going to go see Usagi-chan now.¡±
She picked up the keys of the table. Got into her car and drove off. She was now
calm. Her mother was wrong for there was one thing determined in life. Haruka and
Michiru. There will always be a Haruka and Michiru. She stopped the car. She walked up
to Makoto¡¯s apartment. She knocked on the door.
¡°Haruka-san?¡±
¡°Is Usagi-chan here?¡±
¡°Hai, come in. Gomen, It¡¯s a mess.¡±
She saw Usagi sitting there. She sat next to her.
¡°Gomen Usagi-chan. I didn¡¯t mean what I said to you earlier. I just sorta lost it. I
just could not deal with it I guess. I didn¡¯t mean anything I said. I was not myself. I was
consumed with hate for someone who treated me bad. I just took it out on you because
today triggered some really bad memories. Some memories I thought I got past. Oh
Usagi-chan forgive me.¡±
Haruka hugged Usagi.
¡°Of course. I shouldn¡¯t have said what I thought out load. I didn¡¯t think. I guess
you had a right to get mad. You cannot change feelings. Nothing is, as it seems some
times. I mean I thought I loved him. God knows I shed enough tears. I was in love with
Mamoru from the past. Now it¡¯s like friends getting involved. It never works in the end
because one realizes they don¡¯t love one another, they never did. Ours had a future demo
I don¡¯t feel I have a future with Mamoru any more. I cried when he left because I was
saying good bye to my childhood love. I knew then that I was saying goodbye forever. I
think Chibi-Usa was before the storm. Maybe some how we¡¯ll meet again in our next life
and something¡¯s won¡¯t change. Maybe I will fall in love again next life. I think Galaxia
ruined our chances of having a decent relationship this life. No I ruined it. It¡¯ s no use
denying it. Some how it feels like a failed marriage.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t ever say that Usagi-chan. You tried your best. It wasn¡¯t your fault. The
love was there but old flames die without kindling. I think the kindling would have
happen if Mamoru-san stayed. Someday you and Mamoru will fall in love again. The
next life. Move on, find you new love. Just never forget what you had. Never forget.
Never say you failed or a failure. Right now, I see a radiant young lady with a bright
future.¡±
Every one was crying now. It was sad. For someone who hardly ever cried,
Haruka was doing her share.
Flowers? For Usagi-chan? Again? Who the hell is sending roses to my daughter.
Especially a dozen white roses? If I ever find out who¡¦
¡°Where¡¯s Haruka-papa?¡± asked Hotaru.
¡°She went to see Usagi-chan,¡± Setsuna answered.
¡°Why didn¡¯t she take me. I wanna see Usagi-san.¡±
¡°I know but Usagi-chan isn¡¯t feeling well.¡±
¡°Well can we bring some soup?¡±
¡°She isn¡¯t sick. She¡¯s just feeling really bad right now.¡±
¡°Why?¡±
¡°Well she realized something, and it¡¯s going to cause some damage to someone
she doesn¡¯t want to hurt.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡±
¡°Well let¡¯s say you took a glass. Then you dropped it and broke it. Let¡¯s say it
was Haruka-papa¡¯s favorite mug. You realize 5 minutes later that you broke Haruka-
papa¡¯s favorite mug. You don¡¯t want to tell her but have to.¡±
¡°That would make me very sad.¡±
¡°Well It¡¯s 10 times worse for Usagi-chan.¡±
¡°That¡¯s really bad. I wish I could do something.¡±
¡°I wish I could do something,¡± Setsuna mumbled.
¡°Nice to see your feeling better Usagi-chan,¡± Luna said.
¡°I feel a lot better.¡±
¡°Usagi someone sent you flowers. Open the card up.¡±
She opened the card and read it.
Dear Onadago Atama,
I hope you feel better. I¡¯m always there.
Forever yours,
Seiya
She was blushing by the time she finished reading it.
¡°Well who is it from?¡±
¡°Stop being so nosy Luna. I can choose whether to tell you or not. I¡¯m just glad
you¡¯re a cat and can¡¯t reach high up. You never trust me.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t go off the deep end. I¡¯ll find out who.¡±
She placed the card on the highest shelf then left. Luna jumped on her bed, then
on her desk. She finally got up to the shelf. She grabbed the card between her teeth. She
jumped down. Usagi luckily forgot to put it back in the envelope. She began to read it.
¡°Nnnaaaa ne? What¡¯s going on Usagi-chan?¡±
¡°Oh Luna, I thought I told you.¡±
¡°What¡¯s going on Usagi-chan.¡±
¡°I guess I have to tell you¡¦¡±
¡°Have to tell me? I don¡¯t know if I want to hear this.¡±
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