Sketches of Tenchi 11: Those Who Hunt Mihoshi
A Tenchi Muyo! OAV/MnE/GXP fanfic
by HKMiller
21 April 2002; Revised 6 October 2002
Primarily featuring characters created by Hiroki Hayashi and
Masaki Kajishima, copyright AiC and Pioneer.
Previous Sketches at: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/5058
Usual lime warning applies, partly for vocabulary.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Hold on to your towels, sun-worshippers! This is News Flash
Central! Daikyou's very own Mihoshi Kuramitsu is returning
for a visit! She'll be landing within hours!"
In a shadowy room a large, well-muscled man turned away from
the holovision's babbling anchorwoman to face two slighter
figures. "This is our chance."
"Indeed. We have been subject to this torture for years,
but it ends now!"
"Now we will be free!"
- - - - - - - - - -
"Mihoshi, I still don't think this is a good idea," said Kiyone
tiredly. "Even if it is on our way home from Jurai."
Mihoshi ignored Kiyone, clapping her hands in delight as she
stared out Tsunami's viewport at her home sun. "I haven't been
home in so long!"
"Surely it's not that dangerous, Kiyone," replied Tenchi
reasonably. "You said that Mihoshi is considered a hero of
sorts on her home planet. Surely her people wish her well?"
"Most people, yes," returned Kiyone. "But there are always a
few obsessive nutcases." Kiyone opened her mouth as if to say
more, but then closed it again.
"Surely anyone obsessed with Mihoshi would have given up by now,
or followed her off-planet?"
"Most Daikyouans can't bear to leave the beach long enough to
go off-planet. It's more likely the nutjobs have just been
waiting for her to return home to strike," Kiyone snapped,
frowning in displeasure.
"Besides," added Washuu, "I'd like to take the opportunity to
research a space-time anomaly my instruments recorded as happening
here about fifty years ago, while I was Kagato's prisoner.
Extremely unusual readings; almost unprecedented."
"Fifty years ago?" Tenchi echoed. "That's way before Mihoshi was
born. It can't have been her fault."
"Same planet. Where Mihoshi's concerned, I'll believe that's it's
a coincidence when I can prove it," Washuu said darkly.
Shortly the Tsunami was in standard orbit around Mihoshi's home
planet of Daikyou. Remembering what he'd heard about Mihoshi's
home planet and its beaches, Tenchi peered closely as the planet
rotated. It appeared that the entire surface of Daikyou
consisted of very long, narrow, winding islands, separated by
narrow seas, bays, and inlets.
"They designed it to maximize the amount of beachfront property,"
noted Washuu, standing to Tenchi's left.
"Ultraviolet overload," agreed Ed, floating horizontally above
Tenchi.
"But don't they use sunscreen for that?" wondered Tenchi.
"Not the beach. Those," answered Washuu, pointing into space.
Squinting, Tenchi saw that a few bright objects he'd taken for
moons were actually artificial. "Without the giant space
mirrors, the equatorial area would have only half a day of
sunlight. The mirrors give them almost three-quarters. They
also make it summer well up into both hemispheres simultaneously."
"And they spend all that time lying on the beach?" asked Tenchi,
who was beginning to feel nervous without knowing why. He tore
his attention away from the space mirrors and looked back at the
planet. "What's that spot, Washuu?" he asked, pointing to a large
crater along one particular coastline, half out to sea and
submerged, the half on land a radiant purple.
"Hmmm... don't know. Wasn't there last time I saw this planet,"
said Washuu with interest.
"Ed will check," said the wide-eyed cherubic waif, typing into her
holographic laptop while sitting cross-legged just above Tenchi's
head.
"Don't bother," said Kiyone, looking over Tenchi's shoulder and
leaning against him. Tenchi obligingly put one arm around her.
Kiyone's pregnancy was getting to the point where she found
herself tired much of the time. "I know what that crater is.
It's left over from one of Mihoshi's cases, though I didn't
realize it was so large. She's had a few cases on her home planet
at various times." Kiyone continued in a darker mutter, "...like
right after she stranded me in deep space for a year..."
"Umm..." Tenchi glanced at the oblivious Mihoshi. "And she
pressed the wrong button?"
"Low-yield orihalkonite explosion," Ed noted, still typing,
"matching a device in the Daikyou military's secret database
codenamed 'DragonSlayer'. Two went missing in month preceeding
radioactive-dating of crater."
"Mihoshi was after some madman planning to take over the planet.
She stopped him, somehow, and the explosion leveled his
beachhouse and rendered his private beachfront radioactive,"
Kiyone recounted. "Mihoshi got a commendation." Kiyone
wrinkled her brow a moment. "Wait a minute, did you just say
'two' were missing?"
Ed typed more, grinning ear to ear. "Ed confirms. Two went
missing. Crater was formed by one of the missing devices.
Other never recovered."
Tenchi sighed. "I knew this visit was going to be far too
interesting. So what's that?" Tenchi asked, pointing at the
remains of a mangled space station just coming into view around
the curve of the planet.
"I think..." Kiyone said with hesitation, "that might be left
over from another of Mihoshi's cases."
Ed grinning, still typing. "Yessiree! All-woman lunatic fringe
environmental group. Survivors blame Mihoshi for former leader's
death in explosion which destroyed space platform."
Tenchi groaned.
- - - - - - - - - -
For members of the royal family of Jurai, customs and immigration
formalities on Daikyou were quick and discreet. But Tenchi and
his fiancees found out, when they exited the arrival hall, that
someone had been less discreet: dozens of eager reporters were
waiting for them. Many wore swimwear, which Tenchi found odd.
Aeka smiled condescendingly and stepped forward. The reporters,
however, ignored Aeka, dashing past her to interview Mihoshi.
Ryouko snickered ostentatiously at Aeka's discomfort.
Tenchi nudged Kiyone, indicating several of the reporters towards
the back of the crowd surrounding Mihoshi. "Is it normal on this
planet for reporters to wear cloaks which conceal their faces?
Or sunglasses and scarves over their hair?"
Kiyone glanced at the unusually-dressed reporters. "No. But
that doesn't mean there'll be an assassination attempt here and
now. They're almost certainly just scouting at this stage."
A distinguished-looking older male reporter, grey-haired and
with a moustache, stepped to the front. Lesser reporters gave
way before him. "Officer Mihoshi; would you mind sharing your
plans for this visit with our viewers?"
"No, I don't mind, Warutaa!" Mihoshi chirped. "And I'm so happy
that you don't mind interviewing me again. After last time,
you said you were never coming near me again!"
Warutaa Kuronkaito smiled nervously, but pressed ahead. "And
what about your plans? What, for instance, are you and your
companions doing tomorrow? Or the next day?"
Mihoshi beamed. "We're going to my family's house! And then to
the beach!"
A mysterious, cloaked reporter thrust a microphone under
Mihoshi's mouth and asked, "What precautions have you taken
against assassination attempts against you or your loved ones?"
Mihoshi cheerily replied, "Oh, very few, actually. The standard
Juraian wide-spectrum bio-immunization pills. And I did my
anti-mimetic-virus refresh just yesterday. But mostly," Mihoshi
smiled, pointing upwards as she took a step forward, "as a
Galaxy Police officer, I am prepared for all eventualities!"
With that remark, Mihoshi tripped over a slight indentation in
the pavement and stumbled against the mysterious cloaked reporter.
The microphone went flying our of her hand, skidding across the
ground to end up at the feet of a group of women reporters
hovering in the background, all wearing sunglasses and scarves.
One crouched to pick it up.
"Hey! That's mine!" shrieked the first reporter, now clearly
female, as she attempted to dash over to retrieve it. The
sunglass-and-scarf crowd quickly dispersed, carrying the
microphone.
"If there are no more questions," Mihoshi chirped, "then we'll
be on our way."
- - - - - - - - - -
"What exactly is a 'mimetic virus', anyway, Washuu-chan?" asked
Tenchi, once the group was comfortably ensconced in a large
air-limo headed for Mihoshi's family's beachhouse.
"Basically, it's a contagious idea," answered Washuu. "This
planet was once famous for advanced research in that area, and
for bioscience in general. But then their researchers made a
few mistakes; one of those made the people of this planet
uniquely vulnerable to visual stimuli used as mimetic viruses.
Basically a bug in their brains."
"Dad had a case about those once," Mihoshi said musingly. "This
gang was making illegal mimetic viruses to use for extortion!
He found their warehouse and arrested them, but one of their
storage devices blew up as I was examining it. A number of
innocent passersby were exposed to these really nasty viruses!"
Kiyone asked, "Wait a moment. How old were you?"
Mihoshi looked embarrassed. "Fifteen. It was 'take your kids to
work day', so Dad took me with him. I was supposed to stay in
Dad's aircar, but I got curious, and somehow found myself inside
the warehouse. And this thing with colorful buttons was right in
front of me..."
Nobody said anything for a moment. Finally, Tenchi changed the
subject. "Could you give me an example of a mimetic virus? I'm
not sure I understand this."
Washuu replied, cackling, "I'm glad you asked! It means that
I could draw some sort of picture or pattern which would have no
effect on any of the rest of us, but which, displayed to Mihoshi,
could condition her to do something or believe something."
"Like this!" Ed grinned. She had been typing maniacally while
Washuu explained; now she turned her holographic laptop around and
displayed its screen to Mihoshi and Tenchi. Tenchi saw an
elaborate circular pattern rather like a Buddhist mandela.
"Oh! Suddenly I'm not hungry at all! That's odd," mused Mihoshi.
Tenchi lifted one eyebrow as he stared back and forth between
Mihoshi and the holographic display.
"That's a trivial example," noted Washuu. "It will wear off
fairly quickly. These things can, however, be quite compelling
and long-lasting."
"But what happened to the 'anti-mimetic-virus refresh' she took
just yesterday?"
"Ed designed a new virus to avoid her scans!" Edward smiled in
glee.
"You did." Tenchi contemplated Ed for a moment, then turned to
Kiyone. "Should we have left her behind?"
Kiyone, Aeka, and Ryouko all nodded solemnly. Mayuka, in Sasami's
arms, chirped and waved in agreement.
- - - - - - - - - -
At the headquarters for one of Daikyou's largest news
organizations, one executive turned to another, scratching his
head. "I thought we sent Kuronkaito off-planet yesterday?"
"We did. He's half-way to Galaxy Work Welfare Association
headquarters by now."
"Then what was he doing interviewing Mihoshi Kuramitsu just now?"
"What? Couldn't have been him! He's sworn to never again be
in the same city as Mihoshi!"
The first executive replayed the news recording. "Sure looks
like him."
- - - - - - - - - -
Somewhere else, a half-circle of seated, mini-skirted women
listened to a report from a white-coated woman researcher,
holding up the dismantled 'microphone'. "It's a detonator.
Probably for the missing DragonSlayer bomb, although we
can't be certain of that. When triggered, it broadcasts
an omnidirectional signal. We have no way of telling where
the bomb is now."
"Is there any other way to detonate the device?"
"Almost certainly not. The broadcast appears to include an
encrypted timestamp."
"So that 'reporter' will now be searching for us, attempting
to recover her lost detonator. But so long as we hold it,
our agents can approach Kuramitsu without fear of the bomb."
"No matter." The central seated figure decided. "She is an
insignificant threat. Our true goal is Mihoshi Kuramitsu. We
must, and shall, collect her data!"
- - - - - - - - - -
The distinguished-looking older male carefully removed his mask,
revealing a much younger woman underneath. She turned to her
companions and smiled. "Now we know enough of Mihoshi's plans
to lay our ambush. See?" the woman smiled gently, looking at her
sole male companion, tall and muscular. "Measures other than
brute force can yield fruitful results."
The man smacked one fist into his palm. "Not enough! It'll
never be enough until we get our hands on Mihoshi Kuramitsu and
strip her naked!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Trudging along a sparsely populated beachfront, a solitary,
bedraggled woman dressed in patchwork clothing paused to thrust a
fist into the sky. "Mihoshi! I will yet have my revenge!"
- - - - - - - - - -
"Don't worry, Tenchi," reassured Mihoshi, "the beach in front of
our house is private. We can go there this afternoon, and go to
the public beach in back tomorrow."
"Umm... don't you have relatives here or something?"
"Hmmm..." Mihoshi put a finger to her chin in thought. "My Dad,
Mom, and Grandfather are at Galaxy Police headquarters. My
younger brother is out faithfully patrolling the galaxy in his
Galaxy Police cruiser. So Nope!" Mihoshi responded cheerily,
having counted off her immediate relatives on her fingers.
"Nobody's here except Spot!"
On cue, a small white dog with black spots appeared and rushed up
to Mihoshi, who knelt and hugged the dog back. "This is Spot!
Spot, meet Tenchi, my fiance."
Spot turned and looked Tenchi carefully up and down, then nodded
approvingly.
Mihoshi beamed. "We've had Spot ever since I was a little girl."
"I can tell you're very close, but how intelligent is Spot?"
Tenchi asked, a bit taken aback at Spot's manner.
"Oh, Spot's just a normal dog. But she cares about me an awful
lot. We found her right after my grandmother disappeared, when
I was little. I was very sad, but Spot stayed with me until
I felt better."
"That's so nice," Tenchi approved, stooping to pet Spot.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi and the girls went out to the private beach, without
benefit of swimsuits. Aeka and Ryouko stared enviously at the
way Mihoshi's endowments bobbed along, and the way Tenchi's eyes
seemed to continually drift in that direction.
"Oi! Washuu! Why didn't you give me lighter-than-air boobs?"
demanded Ryouko, pointing at the spectacle and clenching a fist.
Washuu just gave Ryouko a flat stare. "Believe me, you wouldn't
want them, Ryouko-chan. They do come with drawbacks, you know."
Tenchi blinked twice. Tenchi was sure that Mihoshi had no
tattoos, but now, in the strong sunlight, there appeared to be a
large marking on Mihoshi's backside. "Mihoshi, hold still a
moment. And could you bend forward just a bit?"
Tenchi approached Mihoshi, and bent forward himself to inspect the
strange marking. "What's this pattern on your bottom, Mihoshi?
I've never seen it before."
Mihoshi turned her head to see what Tenchi was talking about.
"Oh, that? I've had that ever since I was a teenager. But you
can only see it in very strong light, and it only appears on this
planet."
"It looks almost like a mimetic virus itself," Tenchi commented.
Washuu and Ed joined Tenchi in bending over to scrutinize the
marking closely, to Mihoshi's embarrassment. "Gee, you guys. I
mean, I don't mind Tenchi starting at my bottom like that, but
someone just might get the wrong idea if they saw you two."
Washuu turned to Ed and nodded. Ed pointed a finger at the
pattern and gleefully supplied a "spazzuu!" sound effect, while
miming pulling a trigger. A detailed copy appeared on the screen
of Ed's holographic taptop. Ed plopped herself down on the sand
and started typing.
- - - - - - - - - -
Lying on the white sand in the shade of a palm tree, Tenchi
tried to ignore the sight of Aeka and Ryouko engaged in a
splash-fight in the shallows, and the sight of Mihoshi
stretching as she stood up from the sea, reveling in the sun,
droplets glistening against her firm, tan skin. He steeled
himself against the feeling of warm pressure from Washuu and
Kiyone, cuddled against his sides. He felt responsible for all
these girls' lives, and needed to do his best. Looking up at
the clouds, Tenchi thought aloud.
"Do we know how many cases Mihoshi had on this planet with
loose ends of some sort?"
"I love it when you use your brains," Washuu said in a sultry
voice, one finger drawing interesting circles on Tenchi's
chest. "At least three, including this one of her father's."
"What's the risk here?" Tenchi asked, frowning.
Kiyone sat up and studied the holographic displays which had
appeared in the air before the trio, absently running one hand up
and down Tenchi's thigh as she did. "The rest of us appear to be
at risk only from the missing DragonSlayer device. But Mihoshi
may be at personal risk from additional sources."
"That's all right." Washuu yawned. "We're talking about Mihoshi.
The bad guys can't possibly succeed in their plans."
"Of course not!" Kiyone snapped. "But I've got an unborn
daughter in the line of fire! What happens if the bad guys hit me
while missing Mihoshi?"
Tenchi reflexively tightened the arm he had wrapped around
Kiyone's midsection.
"I've got it!" Ed cackled, then cartwheeled over the sand to
plop down on Tenchi's lower legs. "It's a counter-virus.
The tattoo on Mihoshi's butt is designed to remove an existing
compulsion from a previous mimetic virus."
Washuu raised one eyebrow. "A strong one?"
"Hee hee hee. Very," Ed replied, grinning ear-to-ear. "A
lifetime compulsion to never visit the beach."
Kiyone sighed. Washuu guffawed.
"So let me see if I have this straight," said Tenchi slowly.
"Somebody, possibly the innocent passersby Mihoshi mentioned, has
been exiled from the beach since she was fifteen?"
"They're Daikyouan, Tenchi. That's the equivalent of inserting
Haisplatian Irrixiants under your toenails," replied Washuu.
"And they need to... what, catch Mihoshi and look at the tattoo on
her bottom? In order to be able to go to the beach? Why don't
we just send a copy out over the 'Net here?"
"Can't!" chanted Ed gleefully. "Anti-virus Keyed to Mihoshi
personally. Must be smelling Mihoshi's pheromones for full effect."
Tenchi blinked. "Oh-kay... But if they can't go to the beach
themselves, how are they going to be able to see her naked?
They'd have to... catch her and strip her, I guess."
Washuu fell over, laughing hysterically. "Got it in one, Tenchi!"
Ed added, "They have to stare at it for 2.47 hours for full effect."
Tenchi and Kiyone looked at each other and sighed in unison.
- - - - - - - - - -
"By the way, Tenchi," grinned Washuu, turning on her front to face
Tenchi. By now Sasami had drifted over, still carrying Mayuka,
who giggled as her grasping hands reached towards Tenchi. Sasami
seated herself cross-legged near Tenchi's head and began to play
with Mayuka. "Another matter. Yume called me to complain about
the way you're treating Ed here." Washuu gestured at the waif
straddling Tenchi's legs. "Apparently she found out you aren't
sleeping with Ed yet. She's impatient for grandchildren."
"Sleeping with...?" asked a very surprised Tenchi. "But- but-
but- Edward is too young, like Sasami! Great-grandmother said I
need to wait for a more appropriate time!"
"But, Tenchi, I sleep with you," said Sasami with a puzzled frown.
"You said I can come sleep with you whenever I have a scary
dream."
"Goo!" insisted Mayuka.
"Uh, right, Sasami," said Tenchi feebily. "And Edward never has
scary dreams, right? So..." Tenchi valiantly tried to keep going
with his rationale, but was interrupted by Washuu.
"Good try, Tenchi, but no sale. You've seen Yume on several
occasions; what does she look like?"
"Uh, well, kind of thin, short like you..." said Tenchi slowly.
"And, I assure you, Yume is fully mature by the standards of her
people. Now, how does her body differ from Edward's?" Just for
emphasis, Washuu conjured a life-size holographic image of Yume
sitting next to Ed.
Tenchi started to sweat again as he compared the two. He could
detect no differences of proportion whatsoever. If anything, Ed
might have just a tad more hip development than her mother Yume.
And that meant...
"I take it from your silence that you realize the facts," said
Washuu with a smirk. "Edward is completely mature in a physical
sense. So," Washuu grinned, "there's no sense waiting!"
Tenchi stared at Ed, trying to imagine it. Ed didn't help by
zooming so close that she was almost nose-to-nose with Tenchi,
then giving him a huge grin with almost split her face. "I think
the Tenchi-fiance-unit gets it. Tenchi and Edward, sleeping in a
bed," she chanted, "doing the beast until we're dead."
Tenchi swallowed nervously. Kiyone patted his hand, clucking
in sympathy, while struggling to suppress her own urge to laugh.
- - - - - - - - - -
Mihoshi was just starting to get hungry when dinner started. A
small rectangular portion of the beach currently unoccupied lit up
with a ghostly flame; a shimmering forcefield grill appeared above
it. Members of two species of flying fish left the water in arcs
which landed them smack on top of the grill. Several other fish
got up out of the sea and walked over to the grill, carrying
mollusks and a tasty array of ocean vegetable life.
Tenchi stared. "I guess it IS time for dinner, but..."
"Oh, they aren't sentient, Tenchi," Washuu remarked. "The
Daikyouan bioengineers weren't THAT bent. They just gave their
tastiest seafood unusual instincts. It does tend to put off some
sensitive souls not from this planet..."
Kiyone, looking a bit green, gave up the last of her lunch nearby,
on her hands and knees.
The whole group started drifting over to the grill. Mihoshi
caught some palm fronds to use as plates (which had picked that
moment to come free from their parent tree). Kiyone went back to
the house in search of something else to eat.
"Hey, Washuu!" Ryouko called. "How about explaining why I
wouldn't want boobs like Mihoshi's? My Tenchi keeps staring at
them!"
Aeka elbowed Ryouko, hard. "_MY_ Tenchi wouldn't look at your
withered ones anyway."
"If you MUST know, Ryouko, then I'll tell you, but I don't want to
hear any complaints about technobabble later. Mihoshi's combination of enhanced sensitivity and bouyancy was achieved in
part by using extremely lightweight neural tissue, with low
electrical resistance." Washuu paused expectantly.
Ryouko just looked blank. Ed, however, chortled in glee and
padded on all fours in a circle around Ryouko. "Ryouko with new
chest balloons must cease making energy runes. If she does it, let her be; her neurons are history!"
Washuu continued, "That's about right. If you had the kind of
neurons Mihoshi has, my little Ryouko, your internal energy-
handling system would be completely fried the first time
you tried to defend Tenchi. And that's equally true of Aeka-dono,
by the way."
Aeka and Ryouko stopped eating in mid-munch to stare momentarily
at Washuu, then at the oblivious Mihoshi, and finally at Tenchi.
"Oh." they said in unison, both a bit subdued.
"I suppose if you put it that way, Washuu-sama," Aeka began.
"...I'll make do with the ones I got," Ryouko finished.
- - - - - - - - - -
Kiyone found Spot nosing open the kitchen refrigerator, which, a
glimpse within confirmed, contained only an unappetizing dogfood.
Leaving Spot to her meal, Kiyone put on a light robe and walked
out the back of the house, hoping to find some food for sale on
the public beach.
Luckily, there was a street vendor selling grilled skewers of
a white meat alternating with vegetables. Kiyone handed over her
credit chit to be swiped in exchange for a plate of skewers and
some salad.
Kiyone turned to go back into the house, missing the smirk which
crossed the face of the street vendor. Once Kiyone was gone,
the street vendor swept off a wig, then commenced a discussion
with herself.
"Will it work this time, Zoalmel Gustav?"
In a deeper voice, the vendor responded to herself. "Of course it
will."
- - - - - - - - - -
Back on the private beach side of Mihoshi's house, Kiyone carried
the plate gingerly as she headed back for the group around the
fire. The light was starting to fade into a golden orange, but
the temperature still made clothing unnecessary.
"Oh, Kiyone, you didn't have to walk all that way! Not while
you're pregnant!" Mihoshi exclaimed, standing up.
"I'm only few months pregnant, Mihoshi," replied Kiyone tiredly.
"I can walk out to the street and back. Can somebody scan this
food before I eat any?"
Ed floated over and started to wave her sensor wand, its tip now
glowing a dull red, over Kiyone's food, but before she could
comment on the results, Mihoshi tripped and fell onto Kiyone,
toppling both of them back onto the sand, Mihoshi on top. The
plate of food went flying. "Oopsie!"
Ryouko teleported fifteen yards over to catch the food, which
exploded right as it reached her. An utterly blackened Ryouko
grit her teeth as Aeka fell over, laughing hysterically.
Kiyone, eyes wide in fright, panted heavily as the shock of
realization hit her.
"Are you okay, Kiyone?" exclaimed Tenchi, quickly getting to his
feet.
"I... I think so," replied Kiyone. "Mihoshi shielded me from the
explosion."
Washuu waved her own sensor wand over Mihoshi and Kiyone. "Kiyone
and the baby are fine, Tenchi. Mihoshi's backside has a bruise or
two, and one first-degree burn."
"Kiyone, I don't want you to leave my side until we're off this
planet," Tenchi insisted.
Kiyone's eyes widened slightly. She found herself smiling a bit
in spite of the situation. "But what about..." Kiyone gestured
in the direction of Ryouko and Aeka. "...tonight? They have
that look..."
"Err..." Tenchi thought quickly. "Mihoshi, didn't you say
something about a special sake you have on this planet? Something
Ryouko and Aeka ought not miss while they're here?"
"Did I?" Mihoshi looked momentarily puzzled. "I don't remember
mentioning it to you, but it's true that we have one. I think
there might be a bottle or two in the house."
- - - - - - - - - -
The next morning, Mihoshi woke Tenchi by shaking his shoulders,
right at the crack of dawn. "C'mon, Tenchi, we have to hit the
beach! The sun's coming up!"
Bleary-eyed, Tenchi sat up and looked around him. He still had
Kiyone asleep on his right side, and Edward and Washuu on his
left. "Well, whatdya know? Same arrangement and people as when
I fell sleep."
Tenchi followed Mihoshi out of the curtained alcove the girls had
assigned him into the main room of Mihosh's suite. Ryouko, Aeka,
and Spot, he noted, were still snoring loudly, propped up against
each other on a sofa, each clutching an empty sake bottle. Tenchi
felt thankful that Alielle had stayed behind on Jurai; with her
around, Aeka and Ryouko wouldn't have been able to sleep late.
"We'll wear swimsuits on the public beach?" Tenchi asked
hopefully.
"That's what the regulations say," replied Mihoshi, sounding
regretful. "I think I can find you some speedos around here
somewhere..."
"No thanks, Mihoshi, I brought some baggy trunks from Earth."
"Oh, poo."
Just then a chime sounded. Mihoshi walked over to a large flat-
screen on the wall, currently showing a rocky beach-scape, and
answered into the air. "Kuramitsu residence. May I help you?"
The flatscreen dissolved into the picture of a woman who looked
remarkably like Mihoshi, wearing a long dress with an apron over
it.
"Mom!" Mihoshi shouted in glee. "Where are you?"
Tenchi looked closely. Mihoshi's mother showed no obvious signs
of age beyond Mihoshi, though there was an intangible hint of
motherhood about her.
"Err... I think I'm at the shopping center over on Round Island,
Mihoshi dear. At least, that's what it looks like." The woman
on the screen turned her head to look vaguely at her
surroundings. "Can you come over and pick me up? No need to
disturb your friends."
"Oh, sure, Mom! I'll be right over!" Mihoshi hung up.
Something tickled Tenchi's memory. "Mihoshi, didn't you say that
your mother was at GP headquarters?"
"Well, she's here now, right? C'mon, Tenchi, let's go pick her
up!"
"This shopping center..." Tenchi said slowly. "I don't suppose it
might be, say, as far from the beach as you can get around here?"
"Well, of course, silly," Mihoshi giggled. "You can't get farther
than one hundred meters from the beach on any of the residential
islands. So there are bigger islands every hundred kilometers or
so for shopping, and aircar repair, and robofactories, and some
schools, and government offices, and..."
Tenchi interrupted, not wanting to spend all day listening to
Mihoshi recite the list. "Right. So your mother, whom you
believed to be half-way across the galaxy, just called you to come
pick her up at one of the few spots on this planet not near a
beach," Tenchi summarized, trying to will Mihoshi to see where he
was going with this.
"That's right!" Mihoshi replied cheerily. "So we should go!"
"I don't suppose you would consider calling your mother back, just
to make sure that was really her?"
"Silly! I could see perfectly well that that was Mom!" Mihoshi
said. Then, with an abrupt change of expression, she continued,
"Oh, I see, Tenchi! You think my Mom stays in one place, don't
you?"
Bewildered, Tenchi nodded.
"Nope!" Mihoshi chirped. "Mom gets lost easily. Once they
couldn't find her at GP headquarters, so they started a search.
They found her 80,000 light-years away, on highly secure planet."
Tenchi blinked.
Just then the chime sounded again. Mihoshi again responded, and
once more the visage of Mihoshi's mother replaced the seascape.
This time, however, the background was a busy office, with a GP
sigil clearly visible on one wall behind the caller.
"Oh, hi, Mom! We're just leaving to come get you," started
Mihoshi.
"Oh, well, I guess you don't need to do that, dear," answered
the other woman. "I think I'm back in the office now. Oh, and
is this your young man?"
Mihoshi giggled as she grasped Tenchi's arm and dragged him front
and center. "Mom, this is Tenchi, my fiance. We're getting
married in a few months. Tenchi, this is my mother, Mitoto
Kuramitsu. She's a sanitation engineer with the Galaxy Police.
Oh, and Tenchi is a prince."
"I know, dear, I do read the newszines." Mitoto Kuramitsu looked
Tenchi up and down. "Well, nice catch, dear. A shame you have to
share him with so many other women, but those Juraian customs..."
Tenchi bowed carefully. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Kuramitsu. I
promise I'll take good care of your daughter."
"Oh, and nice manners, too." Mitoto beamed briefly, then turned
back to Mihoshi with a more sober expression. "Now, you are being
careful, right, dear? You know there are a few people on Daikyou
out to get you."
"As a Galaxy Police officer, I am prepared for every eventuality!"
Mihoshi repeated proudly, standing to attention.
"That's nice, dear. Now, I have to get back to work. You and
your guests have a nice time, and I'll see you at the wedding if
not before."
Tenchi became aware that Spot was now right next to him, wagging
her tail, gazing up at the image of Mitoto soulfully. Tenchi
wondered why the dog was so dedicated to a family which left it
alone for so long.
As her mother hung up, Mihoshi turned to Tenchi. "Well, it looks
like Mom doesn't need that pickup after all, so let's just go to
the beach!"
Tenchi nodded, still a bit confused. Temporizing, he glanced
around the room, spotting some photographs on one wall.
"Mihoshi, is this your grandmother in this picture?"
"Oh, yes, that's my grandmother," said Mihoshi sadly. Spot rubbed
against Mihoshi's leg in sympathy. "Her name was Celcia
Kuramitsu. Grandpa found her just wandering around one day about
fifty years ago. She couldn't remember anything except her name.
We never did find out what planet she's from. She and Grandpa got
married, had Mom, and then she just disappeared when I was little."
Spot barked.
"That must have been really tough on you."
"At the time, sure, but I'm completely over it now!" Mihoshi said
chirpily. "I hardly miss Grandma at all now!"
Spot growled.
- - - - - - - - - -
Over on Round Island, 'Mihoshi's mother' said to two bystanders
just radiating innocence and uninvolvement, "That was close!
I was about to phone Mihoshi, disguised as her mother, when
her real mother appeared at the phone booth right next to
mine! I thought you checked out her whereabouts?"
The tall, muscular man put on an innocent, "who, me?" look,
ignoring the two glares he received from his companions.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi and his fiancees and daughter hit the public beach on the
other side of Mihoshi's house. Mihoshi, Sasami, and Ed played
beach volleyball against Aeka and Ryouko at first, while Tenchi
stayed close to Kiyone and Washuu played with Mayuka.
Later, a few well-muscled local boys showed up to challenge Aeka
and Ryouko, who'd won the first match. Tenchi noticed, with a
little discomfort, that the local boys seemed to have a somewhat
bigger bulge in their speedo swimsuits then his own would have
been, he felt sure, if he'd been wearing a speedo.
Still later, a dozen women wearing sunglasses and rather strange
swimsuits came walking along the beach. The tops looks normal
enough, but the bikini bottoms looked awfully thin to Tenchi,
more like panties than swimwear. He supposed it was some odd
local fashion. Tenchi tore his gaze away and back to the game.
Four of the young women stopped at the blanket with Tenchi and
Kiyone; the remainder wandered on over to the volleyball court.
"Oh, a handsome foreigner!" one girl giggled, pointing at Tenchi.
Tenchi couldn't help feeling that she looked a bit too old to
behave that way, but then again, looks didn't seem to mean much
on other planets.
Another girl dropped to her knees next to the embarrassed Tenchi.
"Hey, mister, wanna buy us some tea?" She began to run a finger
under the edge of her bra, her lips parted suggestively. Her
friends giggled.
Kiyone elbowed Tenchi, frowning. "Now, girls," Tenchi began, "I'm
flattered, but I'm really, REALLY, not avail..."
An angry-looking Ryouko materialized above the flirting girl and
lifted her into the air by her hair. "If you even TOUCH my
Tenchi," she growled.
Looking back over his shoulder at the volleyball court, Tenchi
saw Aeka running over towards him, followed by Edward
somersaulting through the air cackling. The volleyball itself
flew over the force-net into the girl's court. Mihoshi, oblivious
to the commotion around Tenchi, reached for it and missed. The
ball hit sand, then sat there flashing. The score, displayed in
mid-air on the far side of the court, incremented for the other
side.
One of the nearby loitering girls gave a handsignal. All eight,
in unison, rushed forward, scooped up Mihoshi, and started to run
off with her, two holding each of Mihoshi's limbs tightly.
Simultaneously, the four flirters by Tenchi dropped their act,
broke off, and ran. Ryouko looked bewildered as the target for
her jealousy disappeared on her.
"They're after Mihoshi!" called Tenchi in dismay, leaping to his
feet.
"Ah. These must be the environmental extremists, then," noted
Washuu, "given their numbers and gender."
Aeka and Edward came to a stop by Tenchi's blanket. "Well, if
they weren't really flirting with Tenchi, then I didn't have to
rush over," Aeka announced, a bit put out.
"You know," Tenchi shouted back over his shoulder as he ran after
Mihoshi, "one of these days Mihoshi _might_ need a little help.
You don't have to all act so nonchalant."
"Never happen." Washuu yawned.
Up ahead, Mihoshi carefully looked around, wondering what was
going on. These girls carrying her looked familiar, though not
so familiar that their behavior wasn't somewhat presumptuous.
Mihoshi put one finger to her chin and thought hard, scrutinizing
one face after another. "Oh, I know! You ladies were working for
that mad scientist up on that space station! Now what was his
name..."
"Professor Hargin is now dead, thanks to you. We will avenge him,
but only AFTER we have completed our research on you. We will
find out how you caused the triple failsafe on his invention to
fail, how you entered his quadruply-secure quarters, how the
station's reactor blew with all control rods fully inserted! We
shall subject you to experiment after experiment until we have all
your data, even if we have to dissect you in the process!"
Mihoshi carefully thought about that. It sounded unpleasant, and
besides, it would take her away from Tenchi. Fortunately, she was
a highly-trained galaxy police officer, so she would be able to
free herself from her assailants easily. Mihoshi gave her body a
sudden twist. For some reason, her kidnappers didn't fall off
balance like they should have. Instead, all that happened was
that Mihoshi's right hand somehow ended up down the front of one
of the women's bikini top. Mihoshi, embarrassed, struggled to
yank her hand out of there, but the woman in question started to
get red in the face, breathe heavily, and slow down.
"So! You're a lesbian too, are you?" exclaimed the leader,
pointing to Mihoshi's hand.
"No! No!" protested Mihoshi, trying to wave her arms in denial.
"It's Tenchi I like!" Somehow her other hand ended up down
another woman's top, while the first woman had now fallen to her
knees, her breath coming in short gasps.
Back by the blanket, the rest of Tenchi's fiancees watched a
close-up of the events down the beach on a large display Washuu
had conjured.
"Yeah, right," snorted Washuu. "Like THEY're going to find out
how these things happen around Mihoshi."
"All of the kidnappers are Daikyouan," observed Kiyone carefully.
"So all their breasts are as sensitive as Mihoshi's."
"You would be the expert on that," Aeka giggled. Ryouko guffawed.
Kiyone gave Aeka a nasty look. "DON'T bring that up, please."
"Come, Ryouko. Let us give Tenchi a hand." Aeka, still
snickering, held up one dainty hand to Ryouko, who took it. The
two vanished.
Meanwhile, Mihoshi found that trying to free her hands had only
caused her bare feet to wind up in unexpected places, up another
couple of bikini tops. Fully half her kidnappers now appeared to
be out of action, judging by the way they collapsed in a heap,
pulling Mihoshi down on top. Mihoshi noted in panic that two were
nearing climax, and worried about what Tenchi would think of her
when he saw this.
The leader, frustrated, yelled into her bracelet, "I need backup,
NOW!" The other three as-yet-incapacitated assailants let go of
Mihoshi. Two stood poised to flee; one tried to pull Mihoshi off
of moaning colleagues.
"Too late," snarled Tenchi nastily, as he came running up. Aeka
and Ryouko appeared beside him. Tenchi started to help Mihoshi
to her feet, but paused as he realized that he'd have to put his
own hands... there... in order to free Mihoshi's... with Aeka and
Ryouko watching every move.
"Oh, Tenchi, I'm so embarrassed. I'm not like this, really I'm
not!" wailed Mihoshi, as she struggled to free herself.
"And what's so bad about preferring women?!" the leader of the
kidnappers yelled at Mihoshi, her fists clenched.
"But Tenchi might think I don't like him!" Mihoshi replied, the
volume of her wail increasing in her distress. She redoubled her
efforts to free herself from the fiendish traps these women had
made their bikini tops into. Ah, if she gave a huge yank with her
left arm...
...a fifth woman would trip and fall right on top of Mihoshi.
Mihoshi found her face buried in another woman's cleavage. Also,
her nose was starting to itch. With no hand free to scratch it,
she resorted to scrunching up her face and wiggling her nose.
"Amazing," remarked Ryouko to Aeka, who nodded.
"Indeed. It is one thing to read about Daikyouan sensitivity in a
book, and quite another to watch it in action. But even so..."
Ryouko nodded back, crossing her arms behind her back and bending
forward for a closer look. "Mihoshi does seem to be displaying an
expert touch. No wasted movement that I can see."
"Exerting just the right amount of pressure, too. See there,"
Aeka pointed, "through the rip in this one's top."
Tenchi grit his teeth, trying to ignore most of what was going on
around him. "Mihoshi, I know you like me. And I like you too.
Just relax. You'll find it easy to free yourself if you relax
first."
"Ho-ho-ho-ho!" announced the kidnapper's leader, pointing. "Our
backup has arrived!" A large armored aircar was headed towards
them over the ocean at a high rate of speed.
Tenchi sighed. "Ryouko."
Without looking up from her scrutiny of Mihoshi's manipulations,
Ryouko raised one arm and pointed it at the oncoming aircar, then
fired. The aircar blew up into firey chunks which fell into the
ocean, accompanied by multiple flailing women.
"Maybe you should take a few lessons from Mihoshi, Princess,"
Ryouko ventured, snickering. "Her touch looks a lot more accurate
than yours."
"Whereas you still grope instead of stroking," returned Aeka, with
a ladylike chortle. "Mihoshi's lessons would be much too advanced
for you, I'm afraid."
While Tenchi concentrated on talking Mihoshi free, the few
remaining kidnappers made their escape on foot.
- - - - - - - - - -
"This afternoon?" Mihoshi thought deeply. Now what was it she
had in mind for this afternoon? On the phonescreen, the Planetary
President, who'd called her in person to ask about her plans,
waited patiently for her answer. "I think we were going to the
beach."
"Might I suggest the zoo on Rectangle Island instead?" replied the
Planetary President. "Your friends should enjoy our wildlife
displays. And, not being from Daikyou, they might not enjoy the
beach as much as you do."
"Oh! That's a good idea! We'll do that instead!" Mihoshi
applauded, giving a little hop of joy. It was so thoughtful of
the President to call and discuss her plans with her like this!
Hanging up, Mihoshi returned to the deck where everybody else was
eating a lunch of cold seafood salad. Washuu was still
researching her fifty-year old "space-time anomaly", so far
without results; Ed was flipping through the local holovision
channels on a screen she'd conjured out of nowhere, using one of
her big toes to drive the remote.
"And how do the fish's instincts lead to the creation of this
salad?" asked Tenchi dubiously, poking at his salad.
Kiyone, in mid-spoonful, glared at Tenchi.
Washuu replied, "They don't, Tenchi. Packaged food is made the
old-fashioned way."
Kiyone, relieved, finished her spoonful.
"Well, there were some experiments with big refrigerator cannibal
fish when I was growing up," Mihoshi remarked helpfully. "But it
didn't work out for some reason."
Kiyone gave Mihoshi a quick glare. "Probably because you were
nearby," she muttered darkly.
"Oh, I almost forgot!" Mihoshi exclaimed. "We're all going to
the zoo this afternoon instead of the beach!"
"Which is on a large island somewhere, away from the beach,
right?" asked Tenchi tiredly.
"And just who called to give you this idea, bubblehead?" asked
Washuu, rolling her eyes.
"The Planetary President herself!" Mihoshi exclaimed in glee,
clapping her hands.
"In the middle of testifying about bribery scandal?" wondered Ed,
her toe paused on a newsstation covering the current political
scene.
"Why don't we just get this over with?" asked Kiyone desperately.
"I'd like to get SOME sleep without worrying while I'm here."
"Hmmm..." Washuu, a gleam in her eye, replied. "Maybe we can pack
all the wackos into a single place."
"Ed will leak our plans," announced the grinning urchin, typing
madly.
"Should Kiyone stay here? And maybe Sasami and Mayuka?" Tenchi
asked Washuu worriedly.
Washuu paused a moment. "I don't think so, Tenchi. There is some
chance that the bomb's possessor is more interested in blowing up
this house than Mihoshi. They're all safest whereever you are."
- - - - - - - - - -
Two hours later, Tenchi and his fiancees walked slowly through the
zoo, Tenchi with one arm around Kiyone in the middle, Ryouko and
Aeka on either side. Kiyone held Mayuka. Mihoshi, out in front,
pointed out each animal as they came to its habitat, and recited
several pages of memorized detail about its habits. Sasami and
Washuu trailed, stopping to pet the animals after the others had
passed.
Ed drifted overhead, lying on her back, paying little attention to
the animals due to the netgoggles covering her eyes. Ed grinned
to herself as she flipped through the various spy satellite and
security camera views of their location. From one direction, a
heavily-cloaked woman pushing a large antigrav container
approached. From another, two dozen fuku-clad schoolgirls, all
wearing sunglasses, chatted idlely as they drew closer. "Hmmm...
Ed doesn't see the third group anywhere."
"And these are pre-uplift Poohbares," chirped Mihosi, pointing to
the three brown bear-like creatures sleeping in a clearing. "You
can tell they're pre-uplift since they're not wearing their red
neckties."
Mihoshi confidently strode closer and began petting the largest,
a male. The poohbares approached Mihoshi and began to pull at
her sundress.
"Oh, now stop that, you silly creatures. You've been conditioned
not to eat me, you know," Mihoshi reminded them.
- - - - - - - - - -
The heavily-cloaked woman caught sight of the fuku-clad
schoolgirls. Leaving her container where it was, she circled
behind and snuck up on the schoolgirls, several of whom rolled
their eyes. At a quick hand-signal, two peeled off, unnoticed by
the cloaked woman, circled back, found and began dismantling the
contents of the antigrav container.
- - - - - - - - - -
Meanwhile, the male poohbare grabbed two spots on Mihoshi's
sundress and pulled mightily. The fabric ripped apart.
"AHHHH!" Mihoshi screamed, trying to cover herself. "The animals
are going to eat me!"
"Hmmm... rather good disguises," remarked Washuu.
The two smaller poohbares began lowering Mihoshi's panties from
behind, exposing her tattoo. Mihoshi continued screaming.
"Almost two and a half hours, right?" Tenchi asked Edward.
"So they're not going anywhere. Where are the others?"
"Here they come," answered Ed, pointing.
The remaining twenty-two schoolgirls burst into the clearing.
Eighteen produced blaster rifles from concealment within their
schooldresses. Nine of these kneeled, and all eighteen took aim
at the group around Tenchi. The other four ran towards Mihoshi.
One heavily-panting cloaked woman trailed after the latter four.
Eighteen synchronized blasts of subatomic energy flew towards
Tenchi, Ryouko, Aeka, Washuu, Sasami, Mayuka, and Kiyone.
Despite knowing what would happen, Kiyone flinched.
Eighteen blasts struck the outermost fringes of Ryouko's and
Aeka's joint forcefield and vanished. After a moment, Aeka
announced, "I can carry the full load, Ryouko. Go ahead."
Ryouko grinned and vanished, to reappear above the schoolgirls,
slicing their rifles with her energy sword. Within seconds they
were all disarmed of their primary weapon. Ryouko then found
herself facing a series of vibroknives pulled out of unlikely
locations, but these proved no greater threat.
Mihoshi found herself the rope in a tug of war between the
remaining four schoolgirls and the three poohbares. The cloaked
woman made it three against three by tackling the rear schoolgirl
and trying to pound her. "You took my detonator! Give it back!
I need it to blow up Mihoshi's beachhouse!"
Tenchi, still with one arm around Kiyone, strode over.
Concentrating, he formed a Light Hawk Sword in his free hand.
"Help me, Tenchi," cried Mihoshi. "They're trying to eat me and
ravish me and do who knows what with me!"
Tenchi signed, then spoke. "Let her go. Now." One stroke of his
sword through a nearby tree, and the eight combatants got the
message. Ryouko shepherded her captives over.
"Now, who are all you people?" Tenchi asked.
The cloaked woman shook with rage as she pointed a shaking finger
at Mihoshi. "Sometimes I'm a suspicious reporter. Sometimes I'm
an explosive food seller. But I'm really..." The woman swept off
her cloak with a single gesture, revealing a thin-but-endowed,
scantily-clad, green-haired girl. "...Martina Navrachova, whose
lifelong home Mihoshi destroyed!"
The two dozen high-school girls smiled nastily at Mihoshi, hands
poised to sweep off their fukus. "Sometimes we're a group
of obviously-disguised reporters. Sometimes we're beach bunnies
flirting with your fiance. But we're really..." With one
synchronized motion, the schooldresses were swept off to reveal
monochrome dresses with extremely short skirts, some bright blue,
others black, one gold. "...the Daikyou Environmental Limits
Mobilization Organization, whose orbital headquarters and founder
Mihoshi destroyed!"
The leader of the three poohbares smirked at Mihoshi, her fists
arrogantly posed on her hips. "At times I'm a world-famous
reporter. Sometimes I'm your own mother. Once I was the
Planetary President. But I'm really..." The woman swept off the
remains of her poohbare disguise with one hand, revealing a tall,
raven-haired woman of commanding appearance. "...Airi Komiyama,
the world's most glamorous actress, whose ability to go to the
beach Mihoshi destroyed!" Behind Airi, the other two poohbares
struggled out of their costumes.
Tenchi turned to Kiyone. "Mihoshi kept busy herself back then,
didn't she?"
Finally the male poohbare removed his mask. Mihoshi gasped.
"Junpei! It's you! I can't believe it's you! Remember me? We
went to elementary school together!" Mihoshi bounded forward and
grabbed Junpei in a hug. His female companions glared at him.
"Now just a minute. You mean you knew Mihoshi all along, Junpei?"
"You could've just called her up and arranged a rendezvous at any
time?"
"We could've just ASKED to see the tattoo that would have freed
us?" The two said in unison, glaring at the muscular man.
"Hey, I forgot I knew her, okay?"
Washuu, arms crossed, stepped forward. "Them I get," she said,
nodding at Martina and the D.E.L.M.O. members. "But would you
mind explaining just what happened to you?"
"Mihoshi happened to us," Airi said bitterly. "The three of us
didn't even know each other then. We were separately passing a
warehouse on Capital Island when it exploded. Bright mimetic
virus holograms came flying out in all directions. One came right
at us, searing itself into our brains. Physically, we were fine.
We were released from the hospital within hours. But you can
imagine our shock when we found ourselves unable to go near a
beach. My career as an actress was completely destroyed; who
watches dramas set anywhere other than a beach?"
"My martial arts career was completely destroyed; who sponsors
tournaments anywhere other than the beach?" explained Junpei.
"I was an expert weapons designer with one of the largest firms
on Daikyou," explained the third, Ritsuko, "but who builds weapon
research labs away from the beach?"
"Naturally we had our identities concealed; who could bear the
humiliation? Within the month the police told us that a counter-
virus existed, or had existed, but it took us years to determine
that it had been implanted into Mihoshi's bare skin."
"Mihoshi," said Tenchi slowly, "I think it would be nice of
you..."
Mihoshi blushed. "You won't think badly of me, will you, Tenchi?
I mean I don't normally let any men other than you stare at my
bottom, or any women at all." Mihoshi, with fragments of her
dress draped around her, and her panties around one ankle,
shifted, looked down, and poked her index fingers into each other.
Tenchi smiled. "Don't worry about it, Mihoshi. I think it's
right for you to do this favor for these people. I promise, I'll
like you just as much, or more, for doing it."
Mihoshi beamed. "Okay! THen, you can stare at my bottom now!"
- - - - - - - - - -
THE END (for now).
Radical Edward is from "Cowboy Bebop", Yume is from the Tenchi
manga. Martina is from "Slayers Next". Airi, Ritsuko, and Junpei
are from "Those Who Hunt Elves." The Delmotachi are from "Agent
Aika."
Thanks to Adrian Tymes for helping me work through Washuu's
description of Mihoshi's enhancements.
Mihoshi's mother Mitoto is a character in "Tenchi Muyou GXP";
I've revised this to take what is now known of her into account.
(
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