Snapshots: Yuusuke
Musings
By: WhiteCat
A LITTLE DISCLAIMER: Most of the characters appearing in this fic are the property of Yoshihiro
Togashi, Studio Pierrot, Fuji TV, and Shonen Jump Weekly.
Sometimes, while I’m watching those two together, I wonder if they’ll ever admit how
they really feel for each other. It’s obvious to everyone but themselves, about how they feel;
in every little thing they do for each other, that they say to each other, there’s a tension
between them, ready to burst. And the more obvious things - the way Kurama’s always tending for
Hiei after he releases the Kokuryuuha or does something else equally stupid- the way Hiei
merely lets him do that ... it shows - no, shines - through.
Those two love each other, and I’m afraid it’s going to take some sort of disaster for
either of them to admit it.
I thought that Kurama’s match against Karasu at the Ankoku Bujuutskai would be enough
to snap Hiei out of his denial; that the sight of our friend and companion falling to what
seemed to be his death would make him realize exactly how much he cared about that fox; that it
would make him finally say something, call out Kurama’s name, like I did ... but he said
nothing. However, I could feel the pain radiating from him; he’s not as well-guarded as he
likes to think. He’d kill me for saying that, but it’s true. I could feel his grief at the
seeming loss of Kurama, and his joy when we all realized that our friend wasn’t dead.
Maybe if Kurama had stayed down for a few more minutes, it would have all come rushing
out ... but we’ll never know, now. At first, I kept waiting and waiting for Hiei to make some
sort of move - to jump onto the arena, to help Kurama off - but he did nothing; just flashed
one of his small, rare smiles as Kurama stood. I ended up helping him off, settling him down
against the wall the arena formed - and still Hiei did nothing.
I think Kurama knows how he feels - and judging from his actions, he’s at least
admitted it to himself. And he tells Hiei how he feels, too, in a thousand small ways that lie
within plain sight, easily seen by others, but not by the one Kurama intends it for. I can see,
at times, the hurt in Kurama’s eyes when he watches Hiei, when the Koorime says something
deliberately cutting, aiming for hurt, trying to drive Kurama away. Those are the times when I
want to yell at that idiot, tell him that he’s driving away someone who could possibly be the
other half of his soul.
But I don’t say anything. I’m just as bad as they are, really. They probably wouldn’t
listen to me, anyway - Hiei would glare at me and grunt in that annoying little way of his;
Kurama would probably only smile at me and pretend otherwise - and anyway, he’s too damn good
at changing the subject without you noticing; I’d never be able to carry the conversation on
long enough with either of them.
I could never broach the subject with Kuwabara; he’s a friend, really he is, but his
rivalry with Hiei, not to mention the prejudices seems to harbor at times, would make it
impossible. He would think I was joking, and laugh it off. Worse still, he would tell either
Hiei or Kurama or both what I had said, and they would know I was on to them, and be upset
with me. Andhaving two angry A-Class youkais after my blood is not how I want to spend the
rest of my life.
Keiko? I suppose I could tell her ... I love her, I want to marry her one day ... but
it just doesn’t seem right. She’s got all her starry-eyed notions of romance, and as sickening
as they seem to me, I can’t just waltz in and destroy her dreams; she’s worth too much for me
to do that. I’m half-afraid to ask of what her opinions of a Hiei/Kurama relationship are, but,
I suppose, out of all my friends, she would be the best choice - she knows both Hiei and
Kurama, and she is much more observant than I am. She’d know if what I suspect is true; and
she’d probably know if they’re ever going to tell each other or not.
There are times when I think I’m going to somehow get those two drugged and tied up,
tell them for each other, then lock them together in a room and hope they get smart. Hiei
would probably kill me for even thinking that; but it’s an idea. I don’t like watching my
friends in pain, and it’s rather obvious that it hurts Kurama every day he goes on without his
love being returned ... but still that stupid fox doesn’t say anything. I’d offer him my help
... but I’d probably botch it up; my relationship with Keiko is nothing like his would be
with Hiei. For one thing, he’s a romantic -anybody who loves roses as much as he does has got
to be one - and he’s much more gentle than I am; much more easily hurt by harsh words and
insults.
It’s frustrating, though. I wish I could do something to help them ...
There’s a burst of laughter from nearby; they’re coming closer, Hiei with a pensive
frown on his face - his usual expression - and Kurama with a glittering smile, the same one
that so easily wins the hearts of the girls at his school. His green eyes are sparkling with
amusement - whether it was something he had said to Hiei, or the reaction it had gotten him, I
couldn’t tell - and his lips curled into a happy smile, quivering with laughter. In moments
like this, he was really what one could call beautiful, and you had to wonder if Hiei had a
problem with his eyes or something - there was a beautiful, sensitive person willing to give
his heart to you, and all you do is ignore him ...
I train my features into their usual carefree mask, and stretch before jumping down
from my place on the steps, hurrying to meet and join them in their little walk. I know I
should give them their privacy - maybe, if left alone long enough, the words will come out -
but I doubt it. Hiei’s too stubborn, and Kurama is ... I don’t know ... too shy? ... to admit
anything to each other, so I’m sure my presence won’t affect anything.
Kurama gives me a sidelong glance, holding my eyes for what seems like forever, deep
green eyes doing that weird trick of his, probing to see my soul. His smile turns secretive,
and I feel a flush starting on my face, one easily hidden by the red light of the setting sun
- I’m pretty sure he knows what I was thinking, and finds it all amusing. Maybe he’s touched
by my concern for him; maybe he pleasantly surprised that I haven’t turned out to be the total
blockhead I sometimes act like ... I don’t know. So I don’t say anything, just jam my hands in
my pockets and walk beside them. Hiei gives me a dark, quick glance, full of his usual guards
and distance.
I fall a little behind them, watching them together, marveling at how well they look
as a couple; when I think back on it, they work very well together as well, better than they
do with me or Kuwabara; and whenever our teams splits up, they always seem to be partnered ...
I shake my head, and continue to watch them. Strange ... once I would have found the idea of a
male-male relationship sickening; now, I find myself wishing that two of my closest friends
will finally give in and admit their feelings.
Funny, how much time and new friends can change someone.
Kurama glances over his shoulder, his pale face, with their bright green eyes, framed
by long strands of wild red hair, curious and smiling at the same time. He doesn’t say
anything, but from the way his eyes crinkle up, the way the smile spreads wider on his face,
tells me everything I need to know. I smile back, and then hurry to catch up with them.
Okay, so maybe they haven’t said anything to each other today ... and maybe they won’t
say anything to each other for a long time ... but I know Kurama, and I know how persistant
and stubborn he can be at times. He won’t let Hiei go - and he won’t let Hiei leave, not until
the Koorime knows. That knowledge, somehow conveyed in a single shared look, puts to rest
fears and worries in my mind, and lifted a small burden from my mind.
Standing between them, Kurama to my left and Hiei to my right, I know that they’re
destined to be together, and will end up as a couple, whether they know it yet or not. Despite
the fact I stand physically between them, I’m not separating them - more like a bridge to keep
them together. The thought makes my own smile broaden, and I turn to Kurama, who winks at me.
I wink back, then turn towards the sunset, enjoying its fiery beauty.
With my two friends, I walk into the sunset, and into the night.
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* Next: Kuwabara's Snapshot: Acceptance