Part Five

"GUNDAM SCUM!! FIRE LIBRE'S MAIN CANNON!!!"

Wu Fei nimbly dodged the cannonball with ease. In fact, he hardly even noticed it. His mind was elsewhere are the moment. Two elsewheres actually. One encircled around the Preventers, the other around Yuy and what he was doing to the household. Granted, it could be considered a good thing, but why was it that talent like that, or even that of his "children", wasted while he had to work his tail off to provide for them? It wasn't fair! Where was the justice in this?

These thoughts continued to darken his mind as he stepped into his home.

"Otou-san we're so glad you're home! We had the most wonderful afternoon!" Quatre ran up to Wu Fei, ready to hug the boy until seeing the look on the youths face. Trowa followed close behind.

"I heard an interesting joke today. Several, actually. Would hearing one improve your current disposition?"

Wu Fei stared at Trowa. That was more than Trowa had ever said combined to him since he'd entered this fanfic.

Quatre pulled for attention. "It was so awesome! We met Duo's-or was it Heero's?-Aunt Hilde."

"Of which," Trowa said over his brother, making Wu Fei turn to him. "The were two people who were walking down the street. One said, 'I know a Gundam with a system named Zero'."

Wu Fei blinked. "The only Gundam that I know of is Nataku."

"Oh," said Quatre, getting his attention again. "It was so much fun! Everybody was laughing, even Heero and Trowa!"

Wu Fei turned to the circus performer. "YOU were laughing?"

"Well, it was funny. Anyway, the second person asked the first, 'What's the name of the Gundam?' Isn't that amusing?"

Wu Fei blinked.

"Heero said that if we're good little soldiers he'll take us there again."

Wu Fei looked up to see the culprit walking down the stairs. "Yuy said that did he?" The Chinese youth looked down to his "children". "Go upstairs to bed immediately. I don't want to here a peep out of you." He looked up. "Yuy, come with me." He walked curtly to the drawing room, Heero obediently following. Sally came in.

"Hi darling!" she said cheerfully. She was greeted with stern faces. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Sally-chan. I wish you to be present. Perhaps you'll learn something from this."

Sally shook her head. "I can't Wu Fei. Not right now. I have a rally in Essex that I have to get going to."

Wu Fei rolled his eyes. "Votes for Women again???"

Sally nodded. "It's a good cause whether you like it or not. Now I'm off. To see the Wizard," she added. "The wonderful Wizard of Oz." She pranced out the door. "Because because because becaaaaaauuuuuse!"

Heero and Wu Fei blinked, listening to her fading voice.

"When did Oz have a wizard?"

"I have no idea. Fantasy fic maybe?"

Wu Fei tossed the thought aside for later pondering. He turned to Heero. "Anyway. I want to talk to you. I don't deny I'm at least partially responsible for letting those two," He pointed to the spot on the ceiling where the nursery was. "To waste their time on worthless frivolities. To the exclusion of all else, especially with all these women around to muddle their thinking. I had hoped that you would bring a change in that slipshod thinking. You haven't. In fact, you've encouraged it."

"You're not letting MY Heero go!!!" Relena marched into the room. And wrapped her arms protectively around the nanny. "I've worked to hard to have you just fire him on the spot like that! You'll have to kill me first."

"Relena," Wu Fei said in an infuriatingly patient voice. "Do you realize that if it wasn't for the fact that you have the ability to unite people, you'd have died in the first episode? Not even you're pacifism is important enough to keep you alive. And in this fic, you're not really needed." He pulled out a gun "You brought this on yourself."

"Oh, please. Let me," Heero said. Wu Fei sized him up and lowered his weapon.

Heero slowly pried the now pale Relena off of him and pulled out his umbrella gun. He fired.

"Heero-kun, no!!" Relena was hit and there was a violent puff of smoke. Heero and Wu Fei coughed for several minutes as the smoke spread in the room. When it finally cleared, Relena was no where to be found. The two boys looked around; there was no blood, no wisp of wheat blond hair, nothing to indicate where she had gone. The only clue was the dog that stood in her place. It wore a jacket; and on it were the embroidered words "We warned her."

Heero understood the meaning of those words and leveled his umbrella gun to the dog. "Only one person call me 'kun'. And you're not him."

Image took her turn and popped up. "Now, now, Heero. She's so much more useful as a dog. Now you have the opportunity to kick her out. And you can feed her dog food and give her shots, not to mention training her to fetch your slippers or the newspaper. She has to sleep outside in the rain of course, and you'll have to train her to go on hydrants and stuff. And if she doesn't obey you, you can threaten to abandon her. Besides, if all else fails, remember what a spoonful of gunpowder does."

By now a wicked grin came over Heero's face, and Relena was backing away, her tail between her legs. Satisfied, Image turned to Wu Fei and motioned him to continue before disappearing.

"As I was saying," Wu Fei said loudly. Heero turned to the Chinese pilot, though he occasionally glanced at Relena. "You have been very disappointing in the rearing of Trowa and Quatre. Popping in and out of chalk painting, consorting with race horse person? Fox hunting indeed! And now tea parties on the ceiling, that horrible joke. That ridiculous word, superexpifragil … supercautious … super …"

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious," Heero stated.

"Yes, that. Is serves no use. There's no need for it! You need rules, tradition, discipline! Those boys are the same age as me! They should learn-"

"About the life you lead," interjected the Japanese nanny.

"Exactly."

"Here they are, same age as you and they get to play all sorts of games while you risk you life going to work and then risk your life at work."

"Yes."

"Boys at that age should at the very least have a part time job, some form of responsibility. Their talents should be utilized to their utmost."

"Precisely."

"It's time they learned to walk in your footsteps. To realize that life isn't easy. It's a hard reality where people die. The wrong people are put in charge, and the person who should be leading instead has split personalities. They have to realize that you're often understaffed, and the assignment you take are often almost impossible to accomplish. After all, who ever said their could be such a thing as total pacifism? If there were, there'd be no need for people like you."

"Splendid! You hit the nail right on the head."

"Right. I'll make sure the boys are ready for you tomorrow."

Wu Fei paused. "What? Why? Are we going somewhere?"

Heero turned to him from the staircase. "Yeah, to the Preventers, exactly as you proposed."

"I proposed?"

"Hai. I'm the nanny, I'll make sure they get a good nights sleep." Heero walked up the stairs to the nursery with no further incident.

Wu Fei sat down, mulling the idea over his head. "Hn. Quite right. Good idea. I'm glad I thought of it.

Heero walked into the nursery and closed the door behind him, a grin of total satisfaction on his face. Not only had he managed to successfully convinced Wu Fei to give him a day off, but he also had the added bonus of having Relena as a dog! As Image had said, the possibilities were endless. All the various scenarios were very pleasing to his mind. Maybe this fanfic wasn't so bad after all.

"I take it things went well?"

Heero looked over to Trowa and Quatre. The pair were dressed in their pjs, (they looked soooooooo cute in them) and in their respective beds. Quatre had taken out Killer Angels again and they were ready to hear about Chamberlain's famous charge.

"Yes, things went very well."

Quatre had a hopeful look in his eyes. "Then you mission wasn't aborted? You get to stay with us? You weren't sacked?"

Heero gaped at the blond Arab. "I NEVER abort a mission. Once accepted a mission is always completed. How dare you suggest I do otherwise!" Slightly miffed, but really to pleased with himself to be so for too long, he went into his room of the nursery and picked up a snow globe. "In any case," he said. "You're supposed to get a good night sleep for tomorrow."

Trowa eyed the nanny suspiciously. "Why? What are we doing tomorrow?"

"You're going on an outing with your father," he replied calmly.

The two boys blinked, looked at each other, looked back to Heero, and blinked again.

"An outing? Where?"

"To his workplace, the Preventers."

Quatre perked up. "The city! Oh, this is great; we get to see all the sights! Maybe Otou-san can point them out to us."

Heero sat down between their beds. "Well, most things he can. Sometimes a little thing can be quite important." He showed the pair the snow globe.

Quatre's eyes once again lit up as he grabbed it from the nanny's hand. "This is the cathedral. Otou-san passes that every day. And I know someone else who goes there every day, too."

Trowa looked over to his brother. "Oh? Who?"

Quatre took a deep breath. "Early each day to the steps of St. Paul, the little old Iria comes," he sang. Heero stifled a groan, but Trowa's attention was captured as he listened to the little blond.

"In her own special way, to the people she calls, 'Come, buy my bags full of crumbs.

'Come feed the little birds, show them you care! And you'll be glad if you do.

'The young ones are hungry; their nests are so bare. All it takes is tupence, from yo-ou.

'Feed the birds. Tupence a bag. Tupence, tupence, tupence a bag!

'Feed the birds!' That's what she cries. While o'erhead, her birds fill the skies.

All around the cathedral, the saints and apostles look down as she sells her wares.

Although you can't see it, you know they are smiling, each time someone shows that he cares.

Though her words are simple and few, listen, listen she's calling to you!

'Feed the birds, tupence a bag! Tupence, tupence, tupence a bag'."

As Quatre finished his song, one of the twins popped up. "Oh, and I LOVE this song! There's no way I'm cutting it out!!!" She then disappeared.

"Hey, wait a second." Heero turned to the blond Arab. "How come you actually enjoy singing? They have to threaten my Gundam."

Quatre blinked at the blue-eyed nanny. "Really? They don't threaten me at all. In fact, they asked me to sing that song, since Iria's my sister and because you hate singing so much."

"Soo desu ka?" Heero asked, forgetting that not everyone knew Japanese.

"Hai," Quatre replied. "Besides, I like singing. I don't get a violin in this fic, so I have to make do. And in any case, Trowa seems to like my voice. Ne, Trowa?"

Both Heero and Quatre looked over to see Trowa sound asleep in his bed, a faint smile on his face as he unconsciously buried himself deeper into the pillows and blankets.

The other two silently went to their respective beds.

Wu Fei walked quickly down the crowded street, knowing that Trowa and Quatre were right behind him. He came to a corner by the Cathedral and turned, walking away from it. Trowa stopped at the corner looking around. Quatre turned at the corner and walked in the opposite direction of Wu Fei, heading for the Cathedral.

"Iria!" Wu Fei stopped in his tracks and let out a sigh of long suffering. With Quatre reunited with his sister, he was going to be very late for work. Turning on his heel, Wu Fei turned around and joined Trowa in crossing the street to where Quatre and Iria were hugging.

"It's great to see you again!"

"Same here, Onee-san!" Quatre smiled brightly. "Tupence a bag, right?"

"For your, Nii-chan, it's free," Iria replied happily.

"How are all my other sisters?" Quatre replied.

"Others?" Wu Fei asked. "I thought she was your only sister. How many do you have?"

"Twenty-Nine."

Trowa and Wu Fei were suddenly on the ground. They sat up slowly; several sweat drops forming.

"I knew you had a lot of sisters, but…" Trowa's voice trailed off.

"Did your father want a dynasty or something??" Wu Fei demanded. "Don't you think that 30 children is overkill??"

Quatre stared at them. "I guess so," he said slowly. "I never really thought about it."

"Well," Iria said. "Everyone's fine. So, how has this fic been treating you?"

"Great!" Quatre smiled. "I actually have a mother in this fic!" Iria looked at him.

"You mean to say Father never told you?"

"Huh?" all three boys replied.

"Told me what?" Quatre asked.

"He never said anything about it?"

"Iria, I don't know what you're talking about."

"My dear little Quatre, you aren't a test-tube baby like the rest of us." All three boys hit the steps.

"Whaaaat??"

"You had a mother! I preformed the delivery! I know that Otou-san asked us not to talk about it because it was so painful, but I'd have thought he'd have told you!"

"I have a mother?" Quatre asked, his voice very quiet.

"Yes." Quatre's eyes just filled up with joy. He started to act like Duo on a sugar high, bouncing all over the place in glee.

"All right," Wu Fei said, tapping his foot. "That's enough. Either we leave now, or I'm going to be very late." Trowa and Quatre obeyed.

Once they were gone, the twins appeared by Iria.

"Thank you for finally telling him," Mirror said.

"It obviously meant a lot to him," Image added.

"My pleasure," Iria said, throwing out some more crumb. "I had no idea that Father never told Quatre. Thank you for informing me."

"Our pleasure," they said in unison, disappearing.

A short time later, the three came to a large building with people running in and out, following some order or another. Wu Fei turned to his "children". "Now remember," he said, "this is a very busy place and very confusing. Don't talk to anyone. Don't touch anything. Don't look into anyone's eyes. Don't wander off. Don't misbehave. Don't anything. Ask me before you do something and I'll tell you if it's safe or not. Do you understand?"

"Hai," Trowa and Quatre said in unison. Together, the three entered the bank like building. They navigated the halls, heading toward the back of the building. They approached a large set of expensively carved doors that could probably withstand a nuclear attack. The doors opened and several people walked out. One was a tall young man, obviously in charge. There was a women with hair pulled back into buns and with a pair of glasses. Several older men followed.

"Wu Fei?" The man said. "What's all this?"

"These are my…. my…"

"Say it!" a disembodied voice shouted.

"Children," Wu Fe finished.

"Tupence?" Everyone whirled around to see a weird old man with long hair pulled back in a braid, walking with a cane, or rather, trying to walk with a cane and not succeeding.

"Exactly how I started!" the old man said. He came to a step and tried to take it. He did come down, almost landing on his posterior. The twins appeared, one on either side of him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mirror asked.

"You have to get ready for your next scene!" Image stated.

"But this is my scene!" the voice sounded a lot like Duo. The man stood up straight, tossing aside his came. Yup, it was Duo. "If Dick Van Dyke can do this, so can I!"

"Haven't you been paying attention to the story?" Mirror demanded in exasperation. "We have a character for this scene! Treize is doing very well!"

"And what's this 'tupence' about?" Image added. "We threw out the bank idea! And why aren't you in dress for the next scene?"

"NOOO!" Duo shouted. "You can't make me do that! Do you have any idea how long it will take to wash my hair afterward?!"

"Do you want Image to redesign Deathscythe?" Mirror asked.

"I'll take it! Just don't make me do that scene! My hair is too fragile!"

"Hmmm," Image said. "Mirror?"

"Yes?"

"You have a knack with hair don't you?"

"Not really."

"Good, then you can give Duo here a hair cut."

"Great idea."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! OKAY I'LL DO IT I'LL DO IT!! JUST LEAVE MY HAIR ALONE!!"

"Perfect," the twins said. They disappeared as Duo reverted to his normal appearance and started to float, braid first into the air.

"LET GO OF MY BRAID!!" He promptly disappeared before unnecessary words exited his mouth. (We're so cruel…)

Several sweatdrops later…

Treize cleared his throat. "Anyway, why are your 'children' here? This is a very busy place, you realize."

"Precisely," Wu Fei answered. "My children wish to join us."

"We do?" Quatre quietly asked Trowa.

"Really?" Treize said, scrutinizing the two boys. "What aspects do you two have that might improve our workplace here?"

Trowa knew enough to stay quiet. Quatre didn't.

"Um.." Quatre started quietly. "I have a kokoro no uchuu and.."

"You what?" Treize demanded. Quatre started to step back, but a wall stopped him.

"Do you have any idea how useful a space heart is?" Treize shouted. "Is your heart a strong one?" Quatre nodded. "Wonderful! With a strong kokoro no uchuu we can determine what informants we can trust, who our allies are, if we have a spy amongst us, the possibilities are endless!"

"I thought you might approve," Wu Fei said.

"Indeed I do! Lady Une," he said, turning to the woman. "Raise his salary. He deserves it. Now young man," he turned back to Quatre and grabbed an arm, pulling him away. Wu Fei grabbed Quatre's other arm and pulled as well. Naturally, Quatre couldn't quite stop his forward motion, but he resisted as much as he could.

"No! I don't want to be used!" He was pulled to the doorway, letting the great engraved door start to shut behind them as Treize and Wu Fei dragged Quatre to his new position. The other heads of the Preventers followed.

Trowa looked on in shock. This could be! They were taking Quatre away? This wasn't right. For Trowa, there was only one alternative.

Pulling out his gun, Trowa leveled it at the receding heads. "Give him back!" he said in a deathly quiet voice. When no one responded, he fired three shots, almost simultaneously. Duke Durmail and Chief Engineer Tuberough went down.

Everything froze. Trowa looked around confused. The third bullet was still in the air, headed for his third target. Why wasn't it moving? Trowa looked around. Why wasn't anyone else moving? He moved to walk toward Quatre, but found he couldn't move as well.

"Now just a minute!" Mirror and Image appeared, both with a scolding look on their faces. "What do you think you are doing?"

"There is to be no on screen death here! This is a tasteful fic!"

"I am aware of that."

"Then why the firing? You've just killed two people!"

"Take another look."

"Huh?" Mirror and Image went over to Duke Durmail and Tuberough. They were only minor wounds. Nothing they could die from. The twins scrutinized Trowa.

"You may have gotten away with this, but watch what you do in the future!" They disappeared and time returned to normal.

The third bullet hit Septem, who fell like a rock. Wu Fei and Treize, seeing that Trowa was rather serious, leg go of Quatre to pull out their own guns. The blonde took advantage of the situation and ran back to Trowa, who grabbed his hand and headed for the front door. Trowa's shots had apparently turned the entire building into a mass of confusion. Preventers were pulling out guns, people were shouting out orders no one was listening to, police officers were trying to get in and see what was going on, the regular British army was also forcing its way in, it was all just chaos.

Trowa found this to his liking and slipped nimbly through the mad crowd, towing Quatre along until they were pushed out the front door. From there, they ran down the streets, avoiding even more bobbies that came running down the street. Trowa deciding to go a different way home because of the large amounts of people who might have seen them leaving the Preventers' headquarters. Right now, they didn't need to be observed.

The taller pilot led them down toward the slum section of London, ducking in and out of alleys, turning corners and going down street after street. Once in Essex, the green-eyed pilot looked around to get his bearings.

"Trowa, I think we're lost," Quatre stated, completely unfamiliar with the area.

"Nope," Trowa replied, recognizing the area. "Cathy-onee-san and I used to work down here."

"Here?" Quatre looked around at the filthy run-down area. "Are you sure? Aren't you two a little more high-class than this?"

"Whatever makes us money. We don't complain," Trowa replied.

"If you says so."

"This way." Unfortunately for Trowa, he took a wrong turn without realizing it. They continued working their way through the maze of streets, all the while getting more and more unfamiliar with Trowa.

"This next corner will have us by a park entrance," at least that's what Trowa hoped, "and we can make it back from there." They turned to corner and discovered: the Thames.

"Trowa, we're lost," said Quatre.

"Oh, ye're lost?" a crackly old voice said behind them. They turned and saw a rather unwelcoming figure with a bottle in his hand looking them over. "I can 'elp ya," he slurred. Quatre didn't like this person. Everything about him screamed untrustworthy, but if he knew a way out of their predicament…

"Arigatoo gozimasu, kind sir," Quatre said politely. "Would you happen to know the way to the park?"

"Yep. Bin that ways lossa times," the man choked out. He took another swig from his bottle. "I'll be showin' ye the way."

"No thank you," Trowa said firmly. "We will not be needing your assistance. C'mon Quatre."

The Arabian looked at Trowa and understood that this really wasn't a trustworthy man. He followed through the twists and turns, ignoring the garbage and people on the street.

After some time, they were in another part of Essex when Trowa finally started to recognize the area. He led Quatre around until he came upon an alley. He started to head down it, but Quatre froze at the entrance.

"What's wrong?" Trowa asked.

"There's danger in that alley, Trowa," he replied. Trowa looked down the alley but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. He'd been down this way many times. Did Quatre's kokoro no uchuu sense something?

"It's fine," Trowa said, taking another step.

"Trowa!" Quatre grabbed the taller pilot's arm. "Run!" The blonde took off running, Trowa being dragged behind.

"They knew? GET 'EM!!" said a voice from the alley. That confirmed that the Arabian had sensed something.

Trowa and Quatre continued running through town, getting lost once again. "I think, perhaps we lost our pursuers," Quatre said breathlessly, slowing down. He turned a corner and promptly crashed into something of average height, but very black. Looking down, the two pilots saw a very, very dirty Duo.

"Duo?"

"You're a mess!"

"Yup," Duo said darkly. "Thank the twins." Duo stood up, letting the other two get a good look at him. His long braid was caked in soot, his face was covered in dirt, and his clothes were gray with dust. Duo grabbed an arm of each pilot. "I'm supposed to lead you home. Let's go." He angrily led them on.

Go to Part Six