Interlude #3: Touch

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"Nothing ever makes me happy."

To one who does not love and is not loved, the world is reduced to pure black and white. There is no median of emotion between the two extremes, for he who does not receive or give affection is reduced to merely a spectator of human actions, and thus can only visualize the power of love and the power of hate, each being nothing more than a distraction for a more physical, logical goal.

"Why do you help these people, Ani?" asked Kuroko when Kazega stopped to help Shinji’s rebels rebuild their demolished camp. "They fight the same foe as we do. We should be pursuing our enemy while they’re down rather than let our foe recover while we retreat."

"Our enemy is not nearly as important as our allies," replied Kazega with a smile. "Clansey can wait, it is better to aid our friends with our lives rather than the death of our opponents."

"It’s because of that girl," snickered the boy bitterly. He referred to the smiling woman whom his brother tended to drool at every so often, the rifle-wielding face who had managed to entice the elder’s affections and return it with her own. "You only give your excuses because of her. Would you be so generous if she was not here? Or would you turn your head like such a hypocrite?"

"Heh, Kuroko," whispered Kazega. "Sometimes you have to stop and remind yourself why you’re alive. Life is false if only logic exists. When action and reaction are reduced to mere mathematic calculations, living organisms become nothing more than tools controlled by some invisible creature, the predictability and algorithms working against our nature as individuals. And I would like to still believe that I am a person and not a pawn of some [GOD]. Thus, even though I know I have a mission to complete, I’m still willing to sacrifice that cold victory for something better."

Kuroko’s power gave him control of his life, control of his actions through strength and control of others through force. But how much was that worth when one’s existence was reduced to mere inescapability? He could have whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, but it was worth nothing. When you can have whatever you want in life, then there is nothing left to receive. From others. From yourself.

"The Fanatic’s Lantern."

As so with the Lordly Kid, indestructability only caved in upon itself, festering loathing and self-hatred. And so Kuroko’s heart died a slow death, even as the only one who loved him tried to show him that there was something more besides a fore-ordained destiny.