Wake up, get dressed, go downstairs, argue with
Ranma, eat breakfast, resume argument, rush off to school, fight. Go to class, get in another fight, eat
lunch, go back to class, go home with Ranma.
Fight with Ranma. Sleep.
Akane Tendo was in a rut. Every single day played out exactly the
same, or closely enough. She sighed.
"Heya, tomboy, what's up?"
She flattened Ranma without looking and sighed
again.
"Ranma," Akane said carefully to the
dripping female clambering up the fence, "don't you feel...I don't
know..."
Ranma-chan scowled and squeezed her shirt
dry. "I feel wet," she
announced grumpily (*wink wink nudge nudge*).
"What's with you, anyway?"
"Never mind." Akane shook her head and continued walking
home.
Ranma looked after her curiously and with
growing concern. She ran to catch up
with her fiancée, slowing only when she and Akane were walking side by side.
"Hey," the redhead offered
hesitantly, "look, um, if you wanna talk about it..." She shrugged helplessly, not quite used to
all this (despite having been around for years).
Akane looked at her and smiled softly.
Of course, that was when the rest of the Nerima
martial artists decided to make an appearance.
As Akane sent Kuno to the moon with a
well-placed center kick, she gritted her teeth and wondered when all this was
going to end.
They continued on their way home, of course
after Ukyo and Shampoo and Ryoga and Mousse had knocked one another out. Akane was stomping about in a huff, while
Ranma warily kept his distance.
Finally, they reached the dojo. They slid open the door, removed their
shoes, and yelled, "I'm home!" at the same time.
"Quiet!!!" Nabiki yelled from the
living room, where the all-essential TV was located. She must have been watching the stock market news.
The two martial artists padded silently inside
and curiously peered into the room. To
their surprise, everyone was gathered there, watching a news show.
"What's goin' on?" Ranma asked,
sticking his hands in his pockets and moving nearer. Akane stepped closer to Kasumi, who was sitting next to Nabiki.
"...unknown, but it is believed that they
are in their teens. The amount of
damage they have done is simply unbelievable, and..."
Ranma blinked in surprise. "Are they talkin' about us?" he
asked in wonder.
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Idiot," she drawled. "This
is happening in America. Have you ever
been there? Has any of your friends,
except Ryoga?" She shook her head
and turned back to the news.
"...apparently call themselves 'Children
of the Apocalypse' and eyewitnesses claim they are here to bring about, well,
the end of the world. The Armed Forces
have already been deployed..."
Ranma whistled. "And here I thought we were pretty whacked. I mean, we've never been on the news or
anything!" He wandered off in
search of food.
Akane shook her head. "Who are these people?
What's their problem?"
Nabiki shrugged. They were far away, and the American army was probably beating
the crap out of them already, but still... "I'm gonna go check up on some
stuff," she announced, getting up quickly and leaving the room.
*******************************
OH, MY CHILDREN. HOW PROUD YOU MAKE ME! I
BEHOLD THE DESTRUCTION YOU HAVE CAUSED, AND MY HEART SWELLS.
GO THEN.
GO, AND SPREAD MY WORD.
LET THE STRONG SURVIVE AND THE WEAK PERISH.
FOR SUCH IS THE WILL OF APOCALYPSE!
*******************************
Nabiki frowned thoughtfully, picked up the
receiver, and started dialing.
<Hello?>
"Mishikiori, it's me. Have you seen the
news?"
<Of course, boss. What do you intend to do?>
"Gather everyone. There's a profit to be made."
<Wh--? ... All right, boss, whatever you
say.>
"Bye."
She frowned again and tapped her fingers
against the table. Who to call next...
*BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BOOP BEEP BOOP*
*Riiiing riiiing riiiing riiiing riiiing*
"C'mon, answer the damn phone,"
Nabiki muttered.
*click* <You have reached Nymphomania, lair
of the Goddess of All that is Good and Kinky.
Press 1 if you wish to have phone sex.
Press 2 if you want your kinkiest wish granted. Press 3 if you are a minor sex deity in need
of assistance. Press 4 if you are
interested in applying for membership-- >
"What the hell????" Nabiki
interrupted loudly a bit shocked.
"Kaoru, is that you?"
"What's goin' on?" Ranma asked, strolling in with a bowl in his
hand.
Nabiki put a hand over the phone's
mouthpiece. "Uh...a prank
call..." she replied, making shooing gestures. "Nothing I can't handle..."
"RANMA NO BAKA!" came Akane's scream
of rage. A wooden spoon hurtled out of
nowhere and sped for Ranma.
The martial artist leaped easily out of the way
and yelled, "I told you, I won't eat it!
I won't! I won't! Kasumi made me
something already, okay?" He
landed lightly on his feet, shook his head, and started shoveling food in his
mouth, hoping to finish before Akane came and destroyed him.
Nabiki watched in mild horror as the spoon hit
the phone and fell to the ground.
With an unseemly amount of dread on her face,
she pressed the receiver to her ear.
<...you for dialing 2. A sex deity will be with you
momentarily.> *click*
Nabiki blinked rapidly.
She barely noticed when Akane stormed in,
grabbed Ranma, and started doing her Me-Baker-You-Dough impression on her
fiancé.
All three of them, however, noticed when the
phone started glowing. It shot up in
the air, spinning slowly, and the receiver lifted itself.
"What the hell?" Nabiki said again, on behalf of all who were
watching.
A tanned, shapely leg appeared, followed by
another, then a tiny waist, then an impressive bosom, and finally a head of
lush, golden hair. When the woman stood
fully revealed-in more ways than one--the phone stopped glowing and clattered
to the floor.
"Hello," she purred, her voice
reminiscent of the English Urd's, "I'm Nikita, sex goddess XXX." She adjusted her black dominatrix outfit,
brushed a hand along the whip hanging by her side, and turned to Nabiki. "Greetings, mistress," she
murmured, bowing low, and thereby providing them with a simply marvelous view
of her unbelievable cleavage. Ranma
made a strangled sound.
"Mistress?" Nabiki asked, the beginnings of a smile creeping on her face.
"But of course," Nikita said
breathily, subtly squirming and writhing, seemingly incapable of staying
absolutely still. Her eyes glowed, and
Nabiki's eyes widened. "Am I not
your devoted servant, eternally at your beck and call?"
"Servant?" Nabiki repeated in a slightly monotonic voice. "Beck and call?"
"Who's this?" Akane burst out,
gobbling. Ranma was blushing wildly.
"My servant," Nabiki replied
dully. She seemed to snap out of it,
however, and turned a sharp eye on the golden-haired sex deity. "So.
What are you capable of?"
Nikita smiled slowly and her eyes glowed
again. "Great things, mistress,
great things. I could show you more in
your room." She was rubbing her
hands, and her bosom heaved with every breath she took.
Ranma swallowed convulsively. "N-Nabiki," he managed, "are
you sure about this? I
mean...uh..."
Nabiki didn't bother listening. Instead, she motioned for the goddess to
follow her, and they left.
Akane stopped making turkey sounds and turned
to Ranma. "Ranma, don't you
see?" she cried. "That evil
being has enslaved Nabiki somehow!"
Ranma was confused. "But she just said she was Nabiki's servant..."
"You idiot!" Akane snapped. "It's so obvious! We
have to rescue her!" And with
that, she dashed off in the direction her older sister had taken, pulling her
fiancé along.
"Nabiki!" she yelled, kicking open the
door to her sister's room...
...and dropped Ranma as she beheld the wildly
passionate girl-girl scene taking place.
Ranma scowled, rubbed his head, then abruptly froze when his eyes saw
the two bucking wildly on Nabiki's bed.
It was the sixty-nine of all sixty-nines, and
the bed was quaking as if to say, "Whoa, mama, I've never had passengers
like these before!"
[ The author would go on to graphically
describe the scene, but she is after all an innocent slip of a girl, and
therefore incapable of doing such a thing.
The reader is encouraged, however, to imagine as he/she will the sheer
decadence of the happenings. ]
After Nabiki had her fifth orgasm, she stared
deeply into Nikita's eyes, which were glowing again.
"That was great," she purred. Then she turned to her sister. "Wanna join in, Akane?"
"No," Akane whispered. "My sister is a nymphomaniac! This wasn't what I had in mind when I wanted
a change!"
Someone else came into the room.
She didn't come in through traditional means,
oh no, she came her way. And that
involved squeezing through the tiniest available opening, the better to show
off her glorious body. She stood now in
the middle of the room, surveying those within with a slight, sexy smile.
She wore deep scarlet clothes that looked like
they came from a Hentai Fanboy Catalogue(tm).
Her hair was beautifully thick, curly, and red. Her large eyes were crimson with little gold
flecks. Her skin was pale, her height
imposing, and her vital statistics something like 40-24-38.
She was Jamirah, Goddess of All that is Good
and Kinky.
Nikita instantly rolled off the bed and knelt
before her ruler. "My Lady,"
she said, her voice trembling.
Jamirah smiled and lifted her servant's
chin. "How do I look?" she
asked in the sexiest, I mean super duper incredibly superlatively sexiest voice
anyone had ever heard.
Tears poured down Nikita's face. "Sexy, my lady! Incredibly gorgeous!" she gasped
rapturously.
"Good."
Ranma stood up and took a deep breath.
"All right, that's it," he said as
firmly as he could. "This is
totally insane. I mean, even more
insane than usual. It has to stop.
Ranma 1/2 is not not not a hentai series, no matter what may be in the manga,
it is in fact a very wholesome form of
entertainment, and people who write fanfics like these are just
sick." He was panting now, since
he didn't pause to breathe in between the speech.
Jamirah raised an eyebrow and turned to
Nikita.
"Seduce him," she commanded.
Akane was in motion the minute Nikita
turned. She let out an ear-piercing
yell, launched herself into the air, and...
...Nabiki caught her sister's ankle, twisted,
and slammed Akane to the floor. She
(Nabiki, not Akane) gave Jamirah a worshipful look, and the goddess smiled and
bent down to ==> insert Jamirah-Nabiki and Ranma-Nikita/Ranma-Akane-Nikita
scenes here<==
"Oh, my!"
Everyone looked up from their depraved
activities to behold the sight of Kasumi standing in the doorway, a hand to her
mouth. She appeared to be glowing a
golden-white color.
Jamirah snarled and turned her eyes away, a
deep crimson glow emanating from her.
Nikita, meanwhile, howled and
vanished in a puff of musky smoke.
Ranma and Nabiki and Akane, freed from the
trance the goddesses had put on them for nefarious purposes, ran to Kasumi
gratefully and hid behind her.
*******************************
Kasumi eyed the cowering goddess sternly. "So," she said in her sweet voice,
"we meet again."
Jamirah straightened and turned slitted eyes to
the eldest Tendo daughter. "It
would appear so," she hissed.
"A curse, perhaps, these constant encounters of ours."
Kasumi stepped forward. It seemed then that the world ceased to
exist around the two, that it stopped spinning to witness the confrontation
between the Goddess of All that is Good and Kinky and the High Priestess of
Purity.
"A curse?" Kasumi asked sweetly. "I don't think so."
Jamirah smiled and ran a hand through her
thick, curly her in an indolent gesture, though she still squinted. "Do you suppose you could mute your
aura a bit so I could see you more clearly?"
"Certainly," Kasumi beamed. She stopped glowing, and Jamirah sighed in
relief.
"Well," the redhead said mildly,
"I don't suppose you have any tea, do you?"
Kasumi's eyebrows lowered a fraction of a
millimeter. "First you apologize
to my sisters and Ranma," she said.
"I have nothing to apologize for,"
Jamirah replied. "That one,"
she pointed to Nabiki, "summoned my Nikita, and I merely stopped by to
monitor my latest recruit's progress."
Nabiki snorted. "And join in the fun, I suppose?" she asked dryly,
apparently recovered from her ordeal.
The goddess smiled lazily at her. "I am supreme ruler of Nymphomania,
little girl, and I will do as I please."
"Not when it concerns-" Kasumi began.
"In matters of a kinky and sexual nature,
my old...er, friend...I have every right to step in. It comes with the contract," she said triumphantly,
flourishing a pink piece of paper.
Nabiki reached forward warily and snatched it
from her grasp. "Jamirah, Goddess
of All that is Good and Kinky, a.k.a. the Flaming Seductress, is entitled to
assess, interfere, participate, and generally do as she pleases in matters
concerning sex and kinkyness. She also
bears the God-given right to seduce anyone who gets in her way."
Nabiki looked up. "God-given right?" she asked, incredulous. "What does God have to do with..."
An image rose in her mind, and she swallowed what she had been about to
say. "Uhhh...never mind."
"Won't you come down for tea?" Kasumi asked, the matter obviously cleared
to her. Jamirah nodded, and the two of
them swept past the stunned youngsters.
Akane shook her head furiously. "What the--?" she asked in a dazed
voice. "Our sister is having tea
with an evil sex goddess?"
"Yeah," Nabiki said coolly. "I have some questions for
her."
And I didn't even get my kinkiest wish
granted!, she thought as the three ran down the stairs. Someone's gonna pay for this.
*******************************
In her black lace-filled room, Nikita sneezed
and rubbed her arms morosely.
"Dammit," she mumbled, pouting.
*******************************
Soun and Genma warily kept their distance from
Kasumi's guest as she sipped her tea in a...disturbing manner. Across the
table, Nabiki leaned forward intently.
"So, sis," she began, "you never told us how you two
met."
Kasumi smiled at her younger sister. "No, I didn't," she said. She went
back to pouring everyone tea.
Nabiki shut her eyes and counted to a
sufficiently high number. Then she
opened her eyes again and said in a controlled voice, "Could you please
tell us when you and Jamirah met?"
"Yes, I could," Kasumi replied. Then she busied herself with the teapot
again.
Nabiki sighed and counted to an even higher number. "Would you tell us when you and she
met?" she gritted out.
Kasumi clasped her hands together. "Why, certainly," she said
cheerfully. "It all began one day,
about five years ago, when I went to the market. As I passed an alley, I heard strange sounds. I went back to take a look, and I
saw..."
"Yes?" Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki
leaned forward unconsciously.
"...a sweet kitty playing with some
garbage," Kasumi continued.
"It was orange-"
Jamirah laughed huskily. "I'll tell the tale," she
interrupted. She turned to the five who
were listening. "I was returning
from one of my more fascinating exploits when I spotted your sister. She was only fourteen then, and I thought
that perhaps she might need tutelage in the, um, developments of her body. So I swooped down and she started glowing,
hurting my baby reds. I fell to the
ground, and she helped me up."
Her eyes shone. "Such an act of selflessness I had never known. I knew then, that this girl was one who was
beyond my power. I respected that. BUT," she growled, glaring at Kasumi,
"I noticed that she had an unfortunate habit of showing up whenever I was
proctoring a group orgy."
Kasumi shrugged sweetly. "I am sorry about those times,"
she said apologetically. "But I
couldn't help it! It's as if I was
drawn there..."
Ranma, fascinated though he was, couldn't help
but wish he were elsewhere. So he stood
up quietly and left the room, heading unerringly toward the TV.
Jamirah continued. "Your sister bears the official title High Priestess of Purity,
and only she can banish lower sex deities from this plane of existence. Very annoying, really." She sipped her tea.
Genma and Soun hastily averted their glances.
Sounds from the TV floated in. "Bang!
You're de- *click* Don't leave me, Jose, I couldn't-- *click* --ARE THE
CHILDREN OF THE APOCALYPSE!!! WE ARE
HERE TO SPREAD THE WILL OF OUR LORD AND MASTER!!! BEWARE, P-- *click* Born in
darkness, dying in darkness, that is the fate of all ninja!"
Jamirah stood up. "The Apocalypse?" she whispered, staring.
Kasumi placed a hand over her mouth. "Oh, my!"
"What is it?" Soun asked,
alarmed. "Do you know what this is
all about, Mistress...uh..."
The Flaming Seductress sat down, looking
grave. "If he has sent his
children," she said grimly, "then we are all doomed." She turned to Nabiki. "Youngling, your wish was not
completely granted yet. You must come
with me to my lair."
Nabiki blinked. "Huh? Hey look, I
dialed 2 by accident, all right? It was
a big mistake."
Jamirah stood and held out her hand. "Chance," she proclaimed,
"and fate. They work
hand-in-hand. All that has happened
this day comes to this."
"You're putting way too much importance to
this," Nabiki muttered. But she
reached up and gripped the goddess' hand, letting herself be pulled to her
feet.
"The Apocalypse is very dangerous,"
Jamirah said, pulling Nabiki closer to her, ignoring the smaller girl's blush.
"You're talking about it like it's a
person or something," Akane observed.
"A person?" Jamirah repeated. "The word 'entity' is more
apt."
"Oh, dear," Kasumi said, "would
you care to explain that to us?"
Jamirah sighed and brushed a strand of hair off
her shoulder slowly. Soun and Genma
blushed. "Well," she said
reluctantly, "I first encountered Apocalypse a long time ago..."
~~~~~~ a couple thousand years ago, in Egypt
~~~~~~
En Sabah Nur heaved a sigh and wiped the sweat
off his forehead. The sun beat down
relentlessly on him and his fellow slaves, and the hot wind made dust fly
everywhere.
"No resting, slave," a huge man
snarled. He drew his arm back and
brought it forward again, whipping the boy hard.
En Sabah Nur cried out. He hated this man. He hated all the guards, he hated his masters, and he hated the
world in general.
And suddenly, he felt it.
A surge of something, something trying to find
its way out of his body. It flared and
pulsed, and he struggled with it and...
...oh, wait, too far back in time...fast
forward, please...
~~~~~~~ In Nymphomania, a thousand years ago
~~~~~~
Jamirah leaned back in her throne seductively
and regarded the visitor under her thick lashes. Her servants (the minor goddesses) studied the stranger, smiling
winningly.
Apocalypse gazed back impassively. He was a huge being, with pale blue skin and
dark blue armor. And no hair. His eyes
glowed a frightening crimson color.
"Let me see if I understand," Jamirah
drawled. "You want to test us, to see if we are worthy of facing the
coming storm?" She threw her head
back and laughed, and the minor sex goddesses laughed with her.
"Yes," Apocalypse said simply, then
raised his arm to fire a blast of energy at the leader of the goddesses.
He grimaced as the energy bounced off the
shield of Jamirah's newest recruit, Nikita.
The blond glared at him and snarled, "You dare, foolish
mortal? Take this!" She flung a horse-sized fireball at him.
He didn't react as the flames washed over him.
Nikita scowled and threw her infamous nail file
at him. He didn't even flinch as it
bounced off his bald head.
"Beat the crap out of him," Jamirah
ordered.
The other goddesses let out horrifying yells
and wild whoops and rushed him, beating him to a pulp. What was left of Apocalypse was tossed out
like a bundle of rags.
~~~~~ present time ~~~~~
"So what makes this guy so dangerous, if
you beat him to a pulp?" Nabiki
asked, looking amused.
Jamirah widened her eyes. "It was his vengeance that was frightening. He sent his children to us, and they did
unspeakable things..."
"Unspeakable?" Soun burst out. "If you say it was unspeakable, then it
must have been...uh...I mean..."
He wilted as everyone glared at him.
Jamirah folded her arms and nodded gravely. "If it weren't for the intervention of
the Norse goddess Urd, who was visiting at the time, we never would have
survived the assault."
She turned to Nabiki. "There is no time to waste!
Kasumi told me once about her little sister who could think her way out
of a tornado without touching the sides.
You must help us stop Apocalypse!"
Nabiki held up her hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" she
cried. "Help who stop
Apocalypse? What do you care if the
world gets fried? I thought goddesses
were aloof and all that..."
"We are not," Jamirah retorted. "The affairs of mortals concern us
greatly. We deities have roles, you
know, destinies to fulfill as you do.
Anyway, Apocalypse is a mortal, despite his being almost two thousand
years old. We need a mortal to
understand a mortal." She looked
down at Nabiki. "You've just been
elected. I will call a meeting of the
gods, and you will have the honor of being present!"
"Whoopee," Nabiki muttered, as they
two vanished in a puff of smoke.
"Good luck!" Kasumi said cheerfully.
*******************************
"Who's there?"
IT IS I.
"What do you want?"
YOU WERE ONCE ONE OF MY CHILDREN.
"Not anymore. I've learned my lesson."
YOU KNOW I HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART FOR
YOU...
"Feh."
THE STORM COMES, MY CHILD. BEST BE PREPARED.
"Yeah, well, I've got my umbrella here to
keep me dry. So leave me alone."
DO YOU KNOW THE COLOR RED ATTRACTS LIGHTNING?
"Go.
Away."
AS YOU WISH.
BUT CONSIDER WELL WHO YOU TIE YOURSELF TO, BOY. YOU MIGHT NOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE COMING
STORM, AND I WOULD REGRET THAT.
"I'll survive, don't worry."
THE STRONG ALWAYS SURVIVE.
"And the weak always perish, huh?"
YES.
GOODBYE, MY SON.
"So long, Apocalypse."
END PART 1.
Disclaimer:
The Ranma 1/2 characters and Apocalypse don't belong to me, but to
Rumiko Takahashi and Marvel comics.
Actually, I kinda sorta change Apocalypse in this fanfic, since the real
one is grimmer and a lot less fun. Oh,
and Jamirah and Nikita are mine!
Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
Mine! Wahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
P.S.
This is NOT a self-insert, okay? Okay?