Confused Heart
   by Marj

Author's notes:  Hello, minna!!  This isn't actually the first fanfic I 
made (actually, it's the third), but it's the first that I had posted 
on the net!  Special thanks to my imouto, Kismet-chan, for editing my 
work, and for encouraging me to go on and post my stories since the day 
we met!  (I miss you, imouto!)  Another thanks to my big sister and her 
boyfriend, who's occasional fights had somehow inspired me to make this 
story.

Other notes:
	gomen nasai - I'm sorry
	hai - yes
	iie - no
	sayonara - good-bye
	sensei - teacher

Please e-mail your comments and constructive criticisms at 
.  Thanks!

Disclaimers: The characters of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon were created 
by Naoko Takeuchi-san, its copyright owned by Toei Animation, Kodansha, 
Nakayoshi, Sterling Animation Inc., and many other companies scattered 
throughout the world.  Meaning, I cannot claim the characters as my 
own, and am mearly borrowing them.  The character Andy Spencer is mine, 
though.  So please don't sue, as I don't earn anything from this other 
than the satisfaction of making a story.



Chapter One:  Depression

The sun shone in the blue morning skies, its handsome rays falling on 
the shoulders of many people who were off to work or school. Birds who 
had not migrated yet could be seen flying towards the south for the 
winter, leaving behind their nests on trees whose orange and brown 
leaves fell gently down to the earth a long time ago.

In one side of the Juuban section of Tokyo, students were hurrying to 
their classrooms before the dreaded bell could be heard.  The normally 
silent halls of Juuban High School were bustling with activity as the 
sounds of their footsteps echoed throughout the entire school.

Two blond girls ran desperately up the stairs, complaining why freshmen 
students just had to have the rooms on top of the four-story building.  
They had barely made it to their classrooms before the bell rang, and 
had managed to quickly greet two friends and settle down in their 
respective seats before their teacher walked inside.

"I'll be taking roll," the teacher said.  "Aikawa!"

"Here!"

One of the two blond-haired girls looked at her friend, her mouth 
curled up in a smile, one of her sparkling blue eyes closed in a wink.  
Her hair was rolled up into two balls perched on top of her head, with 
the rest of its incredible length dangling on either side of her.  She 
was known to her friends as Tsukino Usagi.

"Aino!"

Usagi's friend smiled back.  Both of them were nearly identical save 
for the scarlet ribbon that neatly pulled back the girl's lighter shade 
of blond hair which ran down past the length of her spine.  Her lighter 
blue eyes sparkled similarly to Usagi's.  Imitating Usagi's wink, the 
blond girl gave her a thumbs-up sign.

"Aino!!"

The two girls were happy that they had managed to avoid being late for 
the past week since they had made a promise never to be late again, 
amidst the smirks of their black-haired, violet-eyed friend, Hino Rei.  
Too bad Rei was studying in a different school - they would have loved 
to see their fiery friend's face when she saw that they hadn't been 
late since the last time the topic had arisen between them.

"AINO MINAKO!!!!!!!!!!"

Usagi's friend winced, while Usagi looked away, whistling.  

Minako looked at the teacher sheepishly and blushed profusely.  "Here . 
. ." she squeaked.

While the teacher was lecturing Minako for not paying attention, two 
other friends reacted differently to the situation that she had gotten 
herself into.  One of them, a blue-haired, blue eyed girl, removed her 
hand from her book and placed it on her forehead, shaking her head 
slowly.  Her shining blue hair flowed with the movements of her head, 
the short locks grazing the base of her neck.  Her name was Mizuno Ami.

Next to her, a girl giggled softly while pushing her long brown hair 
away from her emerald eyes.  She kept her hair neat by means of a 
ponytail fixed atop her head.  To many students, her firm build was 
quite intimidating, but to her friends, she was known to have a heart 
of gold.  She was called Kino Makoto.

When the teacher finally finished with the sermon and had Minako 
reseated herself, he continued the roll call.  Usagi waited patiently 
for her name to be called - she didn't want to end up like Minako.  Her 
attention was diverted, however, when somebody knocked on the door of 
the classroom.  The teacher stopped his roll call and told the visitor 
to come in.

Usagi gasped.

A tall young man with short, black hair entered the room.  He nervously 
scanned the numerous faces in front of him with his soft blue eyes 
while the teacher made introductions.

"Class, all of you have a new classmate today.  This is Spencer Andy.  
He is an exchange student from America, and will be staying here for 
the last few months of school," their teacher said.  "You may sit in 
the extra seat in front of the girl with the weird hairstyle," he 
directed Andy.

Ami, Makoto, and Minako snickered at the comment towards Usagi's hair, 
but their friend wasn't paying too much attention.  She was in a world 
of her own, her thoughts not in the present but brought back to the day 
when she had seen the love of her life set off barely over a week ago, 
at the Tokyo International Airport . . .

*****

"Mamo-chan, do you really have to go?" Usagi asked.

Chiba Mamoru sighed.  "Gomen, Usako, but you know I can't just leave my 
studies behind!"  He leaned down a bit so that he could look straight 
into her sad, pleading eyes.  "I'll be back in two months' time.  I 
promise."

Usagi hugged him tight.  "But I can't wait that long!  I want you to 
stay here!" she cried.  "What if something happens to the plane?  What 
if the time of the great unrest arrives and you're not here?  What if . 
. . what if Galaxia becomes evil again and comes back?"

Mamoru chuckled.  "Nothing will happen, Usako.  Unless Fate wills it, 
nothing will happen."  He broke away from her embrace and pushed her 
blond locks away from her face.  "This is a chance in a lifetime, 
Usako.  To be able to study in America is a dream come true."

"*Your* dream come true!  What about me?  I can't live without you!" 
she sobbed.

"Yes, you can."  Mamoru placed his hands on her shoulders.  "You 
managed to survive without me for the first few months of school, and 
now all that's left is eight weeks."

Usagi pouted.  "I was kept pretty preoccupied by the Sailor Animates . 
. ."  

"Well, you should spend more time with your friends, now.  As 
*friends*, and not as Sailor Senshi.  Keep yourself busy with them 
'till I come back."

"Mamo-chan, I see them everyday!!!  But whenever we get together, they 
always talk about cute guys, and all cute guys remind me of you!!"

Mamoru laughed.

Usagi was still very upset.  She looked down at the carpeted floor.  
She could not bear to look at her boyfriend's jet black hair and 
handsome face, least of all his beautiful blue eyes that could softly 
touch her innermost self just by looking.

"Listen to me, Usako," he said, cupping her chin and raising it so that 
his gaze met her tear-filled eyes.  "When Ami wanted to go to Germany 
to study a few years ago, you accepted it, because you knew that it 
would be best for her.  Please do the same for me."  

Usagi sighed.  Mamoru had gotten her there.

"I know I was gone for quite some time already, leaving you to fend 
with Galaxia while I was *supposed* to be in America.  But all I'm 
asking is for you to be patient with me.  Just two months more."  He 
kissed her on her forehead.  "For our future."

"Do you promise that you'll come back and never leave again?" Usagi 
asked.

"I promise.  I told you that earlier."

"With all your heart?"

"With all my heart."  He placed his right hand over his heart.

Usagi stood on her toes as Mamoru bent down to kiss her softly.  "I 
love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too."

Mamoru and Usagi looked up as the loud speaker announced the arrival of 
Mamoru's plane.  Mamoru squeezed his girlfriend's hands tightly.

"Don't be sad.  The eight weeks will fly by so fast, you won't even 
notice."

Usagi leaned on his chest.  "I hope so.  I really hope so."

For a while, they stayed there, completely immobile, each not wanting 
to let go.  But Mamoru heard the last call for his plane.  He broke 
away.  "I have to go," he said gently.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too.  Sayonara."  Squeezing Usagi's hands and kissing 
her one last time, he started to run for his plane.

"Don't forget to write!!" Usagi shouted as she watched the back of his 
retreating form.  She then sighed and turned around to go home, unable 
to prevent her tears from breaking the dam that was in her heart.

*****

"Tsukino!"

Usagi sighed.

"Hey, Usagi!!" Minako was whispering.

"Tsukino!!"

Usagi laid her head down on her hand and stared out the window.

Ami, who was sitting behind her, tapped her on the shoulder.  
"Usagi!!" she whispered.

"Huh?  Oh, I . . . I . . ." Usagi stammered, standing upright.

The teacher approached her.  "Daydreaming again, I see?"

"I - iie, sensei!  I mean, hai, sensei!"  Usagi blushed.  "I'm . . . 
gomen nasai, sensei."

While Usagi got the same treatment Minako had received earlier, her 
friends stared at her, concerned, while their classmates giggled.

Spencer Andy turned around in his chair to see the red-faced girl 
behind him.  He smiled.

*****

That afternoon after school, Usagi, Ami, and Makoto waited for Minako 
in the gym, where Juuban High's volleyball varsity team was holding a 
conditioning meet to keep them in shape until the next season began.  
Ami was preoccupied with her books - she had wanted to finish her 
assignments right after school so that she had plenty of time to go 
swimming in the sports center afterwards.  When that happened, Usagi 
and Makoto would usually gossip until the meeting was done, but that 
day Makoto found herself talking to no one.  Her eyes alternated from 
watching the coach do an exercise routine to Usagi who had been staring 
off into space since who-knew-when.

"Hey, Usagi-chan.  Are you okay?" Makoto asked.

No answer.

"Usagi!  Hello?  Is there anyone in there?" She started waving her hand 
in front of her friend's face.

Still no answer.

"I'll be treating you out after school for two weeks."

". . ."

Makoto huffed.  She tried one last time.  "Look!  It's Mamoru-san!" she 
said, pointing at the gym door.

Usagi quickly stood up.  "Where?!  Where?!" she asked.

Makoto laughed.  Usagi pouted.  "That's not funny, you know!" she said, 
hurt.

"Hey, it was the only way I could think of to get your attention!" 
Makoto said, holding her palms up.  She suddenly looked serious.  
"Usagi-chan, what's wrong?"

She still didn't give her an answer.  Usagi just looked at the door 
again, hoping against all hope that Mamoru *was* there, and that Makoto 
wasn't tricking her.

Suddenly, she saw Mamoru enter the gym with their gym teacher.  Usagi 
found herself gasping once again.  She blinked, and Mamoru's image 
faded and gave way to the features of their new classmate.  She felt 
like she wanted to cry.

Usagi turned to face Ami and Makoto.  "Ami-chan, Mako-chan, I'm going 
on ahead, okay?  Say good-bye to Mina-chan for me."  She picked up her 
school bag and started to leave.

Ami looked up from her books.  "Where are you going?"

"I just remembered that Mom wanted me to do some errands today.  I'll 
see you guys tomorrow!"

"See ya!" Makoto said, waving her hand, a confused look on her face.  
She and Ami watched her back as she left the stands.  "Now what do you 
suppose *that* is all about?" she asked, facing Ami.

Ami shrugged, turned her attention to the events below, and stared at 
the black-haired blue-eyed student that was talking to the gym teacher.

*****

Usagi ran all the way to her house and flew up into her bedroom, 
ignoring her mother, father, and brother.  Tsukino Ikuko was about to 
tell her daughter that she and her father would be going out to a 
dinner party and that her and Shingo's food was all set in the 
microwave in case they wanted to eat, but she never had the chance to 
get one word out.  "What has gotten into that child?" she asked her 
husband.

Tsukino Kenji shrugged.  "I don't know - she must have had a lot of 
assignments to do.  Oh, well . . . Shingo, make sure your sister comes 
down to eat for dinnertime, okay?"

Shingo huffed.  "Yeah, I'll take care of her.  Some big sister she is."

"Take care of yourselves.  Lock the door, and don't let any strangers 
in," Ikuko reminded him.

"I'm not a kid anymore, Mom, I can take care of myself."

Ikuko and her husband started walking out the door.  Then she 
remembered something and turned around.  "Your father and I will be 
coming home late, but don't stay up late, too, okay . . . ?"

"MOM!!!"

Luna, a black female cat with a crescent moon on her forehead, had been 
silently standing in the hallway since Usagi had arrived.  Watching the 
small family part momentarily, she quickly ran up to Usagi's bedroom, 
whose door she had left slightly ajar.

The cat peered inside.  The blond girl had her face buried in her 
pillow.  Luna walked closer, her tail twitching.  "Hey, Usagi-chan, had 
a tough day?" she asked, jumping on top of the bed.

The face in the pillow let out a quiet sob.  And only then did Luna see 
that her shoulders were shaking.  The cat turned her head a bit, and 
saw that Usagi had a picture of her and her boyfriend in her hand.

Luna understood what it meant.  She sighed sadly.   She gave Usagi one last look and 
quietly left the crying girl alone.  She only hoped that Shingo 
wouldn't make matters any worse when he called her to dinner.

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/field/4723/stories

               ( geocities.com/tokyo/field/4723)                   ( geocities.com/tokyo/field)                   ( geocities.com/tokyo)