Confused Heart
   by Marj

Author's notes: The end of Confused Heart!!  Yeey!! (twirls around and 
dances).
	
This chapter was actually done a while back, but I was not very happy 
with it, so my imouto Kismet-chan told me to be myself and make it end
my way (Umm . . . am I making sense?  After all, only Kismet-chan, 
Chibi-Imp and I know what the last few senteces of the real ch. 15 was
 . . .  *^^*).  Yeah.  Whatever.

Special thanks to Kismet-chan for editing the entire fic for me!  I
hope you're having a very happy vacation with your family, and come
back safely, okay??!?

Also, domo arigato gozaimasu to Small Angel for writing and finally
making me feel like finishing this before I focus on my studies 
again (lucky I didn't have any classes when I finished this chapter!).
I'm still not proud of it, but I am feeling a lot better about it now.

You can read the first book of Planet Bound after this - after all, I
made this story just to serve as an introduction.  And things went a 
bit haywire afterwards . . .

Oh, well, I'm not going to keep you any further.  Enjoy the last 
chapter!

Other notes:
	arigato - thank you
	daijoubu - are you all right? / I'm all right
	gomen - sorry
	ittai - ouch
	ja ne! - see you!
	konnichiwa - hello / good afternoon
	tomodachi - friend

Please e-mail your comments and constructive criticisms at 
.  Thanks!

Disclaimers: The characters of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon were created 
by Naoko Takeuchi-san, its copyright owned by Toei Animation, Kodansha, 
Nakayoshi, Sterling Animation Inc., and many other companies scattered 
throughout the world.  Meaning, I cannot claim the characters as my 
own, and am mearly borrowing them.  The characters Andy Spencer and
Ayukawa Himeru are mine though.  So please don't sue, as I don't earn 
anything from this other than the satisfaction of making a story.



Chapter Fifteen:  Mending Hearts

Time seemed to pass by slowly for Usagi.  It had been more than a week 
since she and Mamoru had agreed to break up for a while, yet it seemed 
as if it had only been a day.  She had told her friends that their 
relationship was over, and this shocked them, but she didn't give them 
the full details.  Nor did they try to pry.  They knew that she needed 
time to think it over and let her broken heart heal.

She had cried every night, but after almost four days the tears won't 
come anymore.  It was time for her to stop pitying herself for all the 
errors she had committed and to go out and finally accept the truth.  
But no matter how hard she had cried, it still hurt.

One day, Usagi asked to be excused from studying at Rei's house.  She 
just didn't feel like studying, and she was certain that no matter how 
hard Ami tried, nothing was going to enter her brain.  Ami understood 
though, being the kind and caring friend that she was, and said that 
she would just devote the time normally spent for her to helping Minako 
catch up with some topics that still needed explaining.

While Usagi was walking home, she heard someone calling her name from a 
distance.  She turned around and saw Andy running towards her, waving 
his hand so that he could catch her attention.  She gave him a small 
smile.   Usagi 
thought.

Andy stopped beside her.  "Hi!" he said, catching his breath.

Usagi bowed her head slightly.  "Konnichiwa, Andy!  What can I do for 
you?"

He shrugged.  "Nothing, really.  I just wanted to walk with you, that's 
all."

"Oh."

They walked slowly in a comfortable silence.

Andy looked worriedly at Usagi.  He had no idea as to what had been 
happening to her for the past few days since he had met her boyfriend 
at Crown, but he knew that for some reason, she was sad again.  He 
couldn't understand it - he thought her boyfriend made her happy.  What 
other reason could make her love him so much even though they were so 
far apart?  Yet, if that was true, then why was Usagi depressed now?

He heard her sniff.  He placed a hand on her shoulder.  "Daijoubu?"

Usagi nodded.  "Daijoubu."   she noted, taking out her handkerchief.  

"You sure?  Not just today.  I mean . . . Usagi, is something wrong?" 
Andy asked hesitantly.

She didn't answer.  She just kept walking.

"Remember?  I'll be here when you need me.  You need me now.  I can 
help you."

<"I can help you."  Funny how that "help" turned out to be something 
else,> Usagi thought bitterly.

Andy had had enough.  "Usagi," he said, roughly grabbing her arm.

"Itai!  You're hurting me!" Usagi said, shrugging his hand away.

"I'm sorry.  But I can't take more of this.  You *know* that even
 though I lost, I still care for you."  He didn't dare touch her 
anymore, but he looked into her eyes.  "I don't know where Mamoru has 
been for the past few days since you were down like this, nor what he 
has been doing, but even though I know that he would probably make you 
happier than I can, the least I can do is try.  As your friend."

"Andy . . ." Usagi started hesitatingly, tears welling up in her eyes 
once more.  "Andy . . ."

He slowly brought his arms around her in an embrace.  "Shh . . . shh . 
. ." he said softly.

"Andy, everything has gone horribly wrong!" Usagi cried.  "I . . . I 
told him about what had happened the other night . . . and . . . and . 
. ."

"He got mad?"

"Worse!!  Andy . . . we . . . we had a fight and we broke up!!"  Usagi 
sobbed louder and cried harder on Andy's chest.  "And it's all my 
fault!  I didn't want to tell him immediately because he had trusted me 
so much that I thought I would wait until he wouldn't be too 
disappointed when I told him . . ."

He held her even closer as she continued to cry.  "I . . . I love him, 
Andy!  I still do!  He gave everything to me just to make me happy, but 
all I did was make him miserable!"

"You did not!" Andy protested, letting go of the embrace and holding 
Usagi at an arm's length in front of him.  "You never made anyone's 
life miserable, Usagi!  Your heart was just confused then.  That's why 
you went out with me - that's why you kissed me!  If anyone's to blame, 
it's me.  If I hadn't interfered, if I hadn't been too selfish, then 
maybe both of you would have never fought in the first place!  Listen 
to me . . . Listen to me!!" Andy made Usagi face him after she started 
to look away.  "Don't you ever think that this is your fault, okay?  
You did nothing wrong.  You wanted to do the right thing by trying to 
find a way to lessen the pain of knowing!  Only, it didn't turn out 
well."

"That's exactly it!  It didn't turn out well!  And now he hates me and 
he probably thinks I hate him and . . ."  Usagi ended up in Andy's arms 
again.  "I want him back!  I want him back!!" she wailed, her pain 
evident in her voice.

There was nothing more he could do, and nothing more he could say.  
Andy bit his lip.  He felt himself enveloped by guilt.  He knew that 
Usagi would have been much happier if he had just listened to her from 
the very start.  But he hadn't.   He scolded himself.  

What's left is to move forward and hope that things will turn out for 
the best.

*****

In Juuban High School, two days later.

Usagi had barely passed the door leading inside her classroom when she 
saw it.  A white rose, removed of its thorns, sitting on top of her 
desk.  She held it in her hands and stared at it, knowing exactly who 
it had come from.  She smiled, knowing that it was someone's way of 
trying to make her happy.   she thought sadly.

She looked up and found Andy staring at her.  She shook her head 
slowly.  She was not ready to have someone new.  Andy smiled at her 
gently anyway before returning to his notebooks.  Usagi suddenly found 
herself feeling nervous about him again.

Instead of crushing the flower like she had done to the first yellow 
rose, though, she carefully hid it so that she would be able to place 
it in a vase when she got home.  

The following day, as she had expected, there was a yellow rose.  But 
this time, there was a note attached to it - one that Usagi showed to 
her friends right after school that day.

""Go to that place where the Starlight Tower used to stand at 5:00 P.M. 
today.  I'm begging you - please come.  Signed, Andy"," Makoto recited 
from the note.

She, Usagi, Ami, Minako and Himeru were still inside their classroom, 
all in their seats.  Through some stroke of luck, Himeru had ended up 
in the same class as theirs, and was given the empty seat next to 
Minako's and right beside the window.  In fact, Himeru and Minako were 
grouped together with other students for a project and were about to 
attend their first meeting when Usagi came up and asked for advice.

"So, should I go, or not?" Usagi asked.

Makoto folded the note and handed it back to her.  "What do you think?  
Are you prepared to replace him?" she asked.

Usagi slowly shook her head.  "No."

"Then don't go.  Your heart is still devoted to someone else."

"But it would be a bit rude to have him wait there for Usagi to come," 
Ami said thoughtfully.

"Well, then one of us will have to go and tell him that she won't 
come," Makoto suggested.

Minako shook her head.  "Actually, I think it would be much better if 
Usagi told Andy-san herself that he still has no chance.  Better to 
tell him the truth now than to let him find out by himself again.  
It'll hurt less."

Usagi looked at Minako and gave her a gentle smile.  "Right . . . I'll 
go."

Himeru looked at his watch.  "Better go, then.  It's almost five."

Ami, Makoto and Minako embraced Usagi as they started to leave.  "Good 
luck," Ami said.

"Don't worry.  Things will turn out right again," Makoto added.

Minako nodded in agreement.  "Somehow.  Someday.  Some way."

""Some way"?  Isn't that almost the same as "somehow"?" Himeru asked.

"Yeah, well . . . oh, never mind."

"Arigato, minna," Usagi said, looking at each of her friend's smiling 
faces.  The only person that was missing was Rei.  She had a lot to be 
thankful for with friends like them.  If only there was some way to 
repay them for patiently helping with every problem that she 
encountered . . .

She suddenly felt Makoto pushing her towards the door.  "Go on, girl!  
You don't want to be late!" she said.

"Right!  I'll be seeing you!  Ja ne!"  Usagi waved good-bye and ran out 
of the classroom, out of the building, out of the campus, and down to 
Starlight Tower, where Andy was waiting.

*****

 Usagi thought as she drew closer, able to make out the 
young man's black hair and the back of his white school uniform.  She 
stopped a few meters behind him, leaning on her knees and trying to 
catch her breath.

She looked at her watch and groaned.  <5:10?!  No matter how fast you 
try to run, you *still* end up late!> Usagi thought.

When she was able to breathe evenly, she straightened up slowly and 
looked at Andy.  He was looking out into the sea, holding a bouquet of 
red roses in his arms.  Usagi felt terrible.  

She cleared her throat.  "Umm . . . Andy?"

No response.

"I'm sorry I'm late.  I had to talk to my friends and . . ."  Usagi 
stopped.  It was time to stop making excuses and head straight to the 
point.  Now, where to begin?

"Andy . . . we talked about this the other day.  That, even though my 
boyfriend and I broke up, my feelings still remain the same.  I love 
him.  I'm not prepared to replace Mamo-chan.  My heart still belongs to 
him."

"I know that you love me, and I know that you're trying to do your best 
to make me as happy as he does, but . . . nobody else can make me 
smile, nobody else can make me laugh like he can.  I could talk to him 
about just about anything.  When he knew that I was upset, he would do 
*anything* in his willpower just to make me see that there is still 
hope in the world.  You see, he's not only a loved one.  He is a part 
of my circle of friends."

"You may not believe this, but he has already sacrificed his life for 
me.  And even though he loved me so much, he had unselfishly given me 
the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do during his absence.  Now, I 
cannot see why I was so upset when he told me this, since now I know 
that this was an act of pure love.  Perhaps I was thinking too much of 
myself."

"I can't stand leading you on any longer and watch you get hurt again 
in the end.  Please know that you will always be my friend, but you can 
never be my love, no matter how much the two of you look alike.  I can 
even differentiate the two of you now!"

"You'll find someone else, someday.  But for us . . . please, let 
things stay as they are now.  Please . . ."

The whole time Usagi talked, Andy did not turn around to face her.  Now 
she could see that his stiff shoulders suddenly became loose and 
relaxed as he sighed.  "I understand," Andy said.  "I know that you 
love him.  But I'm not here to tell you that I have plans on courting 
you again."

Usagi was staring at the ground when she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
She looked up to see Andy's gently smiling face.  "No, I wanted you 
here for something else."

 Usagi asked wordlessly.

Andy stepped aside.  Usagi's eyes widened.

The man who was looking out into the sea was not Andy after all.

It was Mamoru.

"You came late and you apologized again," Mamoru said softly, a small 
smile on his face.  His eyes were obviously wet.  "You're always 
forgiven . . . remember?"

Usagi felt her tears well up again.  She wanted to hug him so badly, 
but she resisted.  She stood there, shaking like a leaf, trying to 
stop herself from crying.  She wiped her tears again and again, trying 
to bring them to a halt, but they went on as though a dam had broken 
and released everything that was hiding within.  She had a beautiful 
smile, but the contours of a crying face constantly threatened to 
collapse it.

Knowing that Usagi would probably never move from where she was 
standing, Mamoru walked towards her and gave her a warm and loving hug.  
"My heart belongs only to you, too," he whispered, his voice quivering 
because of his own tears. 

By then, Usagi had started to cry in earnest.

Mamoru lifted his head from Usagi's head to look at Andy, who was 
standing a few meters away.  "Arigato, tomodachi . . ." he mouthed. 

Andy sighed as he stared at Usagi and Mamoru.  He saw Mamoru say "thank 
you", so he tipped the baseball cap that he was wearing and smiled.  
Deciding that there was nothing more he could do, he walked away, 
leaving the couple alone.

Mamoru watched as the man responsible for everything he and Usagi had 
been through disappeared in the distance.  Then he cupped Usagi's chin 
in his hand and gently tilted her head up.  "Hi," he said.

Usagi stared at his face, noting the tears that also fell down from his 
eyes.  "You're crying," she said with a small laugh, raising her hand 
to wipe them away.  "You never . . . ~sniff~ . . . do that."

Her boyfriend closed his eyes when he felt her touch and shook his 
head.  "That's not true . . . Besides, you're crying, too."

"I can't help it!  I thought . . . I thought . . ."

Mamoru held her close again and laid his head on her blond hair, 
inhaling deeply, taking in her scent.  "You thought that this time, we 
would never get back together again."

Usagi grinned through her tears.  "Don't I always?"

"Remember when you said that I make you happy . . . did you mean it?"

"Of course I do!"

Mamoru frowned.  "All I ever seemed to have done was make your life 
miserable."

Usagi shook her head.  "Never!  That was me!"

"Iie," Mamoru disagreed.  "You make everyone's life joyful.  That's 
what makes you so special."

"Not everybody . . ." Usagi said, thinking about Andy.  Andy, who had 
not tried to hurt her but to only make her happy.  But he had, 
actually.  He had brought Mamoru and her back together again when he 
realized how much he meant to her.   she thought, 
remembering the flowers he kept giving her just to cheer her up.  


"Ne, Mamo-chan?"

"Nani?"

"Where are my roses?"

Mamoru, laughing, let her go, and handed her the bouquet of roses, 
which was being held by the hand that had found its place on her back.  
"Happy?"

Usagi buried her face inside the bouquet as she smelled the flowers.  
"Always."

Her boyfriend kissed her forehead.  "Come here . . ."

The young couple wandered hand in hand to the guardrail that separated 
the earth from the sea.

"How did you know I was coming, Mamo-chan?" Usagi asked as she rested 
her head on his shoulder.

"Andy called."

She tilted her head slightly so that she could see Mamoru's face though 
her head was still lying on his shoulder.  "He did?"

"Hmm.  He called this morning so that he could scold me."  Mamoru 
chuckled, remembering what Andy's voice had sounded like as he rattled 
at him on the phone like some deranged father.  "You would have thought 
that it was your father who called me, not him."

"What did he say?"

"He thought I was mad for breaking up with you.  He told me that no 
insane person would ever separate from a person like you.  Andy told me 
what you felt, what you had told him, and made me feel more terrible 
than I already did."

Usagi placed her roses in the crook of her arm and touched Mamoru's arm 
with her free hand.  "Gomen . . ."

"I know I deserved it, though.  I didn't want to believe him - I kept 
denying everything that he had said.  Especially since I thought I 
didn't deserve someone special like you."

His girlfriend frowned.  "But you do!  You're a special person, too!  
Not anybody can get the Crown Prince of Earth as her boyfriend, you 
know!"

Mamoru laughed.  "And then he told me that I'd better come here today 
on the dot or he and hundreds of others will try and take you away!"

"Andy already did, but he didn't succeed."

"I know."  He nodded.  "But still, I can't stand the thought of you 
with another guy.  So I did the only thing I could think of to do - 
follow him."

Usagi raised her head.  They both leaned forward on the guardrail, 
looking at the horizon where the sun was about to set.  "Are you . . 
." She bit her lip.  "Are you happy with your decision?"

"Happy?  I'm overjoyed!"

"So are we back together again?"

Mamoru stood up straight and paused as he stared at her blue eyes.  
"Let's do this more formally, okay?"

Usagi looked confused.  "How?"

"Well, when we became a couple, we didn't exactly go through courting, 
you know.  We just ended up together when we found out that we were 
meant to be."

Usagi started to smile widely.  "I get it.  So we *really* start from 
the beginning!"

Mamoru nodded again.  "But take note that if I court you, we 
*definitely* shouldn't kiss.  And we shouldn't embrace either."

"Aww . . ." Usagi whined.  "Then what *can* we do?"

Her boyfriend winked at her.  "We could always hold hands."

Usagi looked dubious.  "Are you sure we wouldn't look like a couple 
that way?"

Mamoru shrugged.  "Hey, I've never really courted anybody before, you 
know!  I don't really know.  Besides, if I don't get even just that one 
privilege until we're officially a couple again, I don't know how long 
I would last before I start begging you to give me an answer!"

Usagi giggled.  "I don't know how long I would last, either."

The young couple stared at each other until Mamoru tightly squeezed the 
hand that was entwined with his own.  They then resumed watching the 
sunset.

They had been standing there in silence for quite some time before one 
of them started speaking again.

“Do you remember the time . . .” Usagi started, “ . . . a few years 
back, when Zoisite and Kunzite had us trapped inside the Starlight 
Tower?”

Mamoru smiled at the memory.  “Hmm.  That was the time when I found out 
that you’re Sailormoon and you found out that I was Tuxedo Kamen.”

“It’s kind of appropriate, don’t you think?  That we made up on the 
exact same location where that awful incident happened.  Funny how bad 
memories could be replaced by better ones.”

Her boyfriend shrugged.  “I guess we owe both Andy and Zoisite for 
that.”

Usagi bowed her head, her memories returning to the past.  “Yet . . . I 
still can’t stop thinking about it . . . when he stabbed you, and I . . 
. I didn’t know what to do.”  Her voice started to quiver.  “I thought 
you were dead . . .”

“But I’m not.”  Mamoru went behind her and held her shoulders.  “Usagi, 
if that had not happened, we would not have known our past.  That you 
were Serenity and I was Endymion.”

"We never would have know that we were meant to be together . . ." 
Usagi held one of the hands that was touching her shoulders.  "But 
still . . ."

"It had hurt to know that you had lost the one you had just found out 
that you loved," Mamoru said for her.

"Promise me, Mamo-chan . . ." Usagi turned around to face him.  
"Promise me once more that you will never die on me again."

"As you promise me the same thing."

"And that we'll never have a fight like this ever again."

"Never," Mamoru agreed.  "Let's stop dwelling on the past, Usako.  
Let's look forward to our future."

Usagi smiled.  "A very happy future . . ."

Two pairs of eyes once again stared at each other, searching for the 
endings of their partner's deep, love-filled eyes.  Heads tilted, 
hearts thumping loudly, their bodies slowly moved forward until their 
lips met, sharing a long, passionate kiss, forgetting all the while 
that they were not supposed to do so.

The sun was completely gone, and the moon was high up in the sky, 
blessing the couple with its soft, warm glow.  And somewhere else, a 
woman's sigh could be heard, relieved, contented . . . and happy.

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/field/4723/stories