Confused Heart
   by Marj

Notes:
	gomen - I'm sorry
	sayonara - good-bye
	otou-san - father

Please e-mail your comments and constructive criticisms at 
.  Thanks!

Disclaimers: The characters of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon were created 
by Naoko Takeuchi-san, its copyright owned by Toei Animation, Kodansha, 
Nakayoshi, Sterling Animation Inc., and many other companies scattered 
throughout the world.  Meaning, I cannot claim the characters as my 
own, and am mearly borrowing them.  The characters Andy Spencer and
Ayukawa Himeru are mine though.  So please don't sue, as I don't earn 
anything from this other than the satisfaction of making a story.



Chapter Nine:  The Date

Usagi nervously drummed her fingers on the coffee table. It was late 
Saturday afternoon - almost six o' clock in the evening - and she had 
been waiting for Andy to arrive for over an hour. Now this was strange 
for Usagi, for she couldn't recall a time when she had prepared an hour 
early before the said time. But she had so much nervous energy that 
even though she woken up very early that morning, jogged for almost an 
hour around Juuban, and spent the rest of the day frolicking around the 
house she hadn't felt very tired. Finding nothing else to do, she had 
grabbed a pink jumper skirt and a white, long-sleeved turtleneck 
sweater from her cabinet, donned them, sat down in her family's living 
room, and waited.

Needless to say, her father was NOT happy to learn that his daughter 
was going out on a date. He was sitting in front of her, the newspaper 
covering his upper body, but Usagi could still see him peeking at her 
every now and then. She was already used to this as they both went 
through the whole process every time Mamoru took her out. But this was 
the first time they had spent over an hour in the living room waiting 
for her date. Tsukino Kenji could have memorized the whole Saturday 
newspaper by now.

While her body needed to release the nervous energy that had built up, 
her thoughts were bent on answering one question. Ami's question. A day 
had gone by since Ami had asked her and she still had no answer. So 
simple a statement, so difficult to answer. Over and over, she ran the 
question through her mind, and again and again she came up with the 
same thing - nothing.

 Usagi thought wryly, rubbing her temples. 

The clock hanging on the wall confirmed her thoughts.

Time passed by so slowly, Usagi was absolutely certain that Sailorpluto 
must have done something to stop it from moving. It was maddening - she 
wanted the date to start and get it over with, yet she also wished that 
everything would stand still so that the date wouldn't happen at all. 
But the clock went by its own accord, controlled by no one, its speed 
unchanged since the last time its batteries were changed. The sound it 
made filled the silent room, reminding the occupants that time went on. 
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

When the second hand reached twelve - ending the last seconds that 
stood between 5:59 and 6:00, Usagi half expected the doorbell to ring 
right then and there. But it didn't, and she waited some more.  Tick-
tock. Tick-tock.

She was about to feel relieved that Andy had cancelled the date, until 
the doorbell rang.  Usagi looked at the clock.  She could have sworn 
that an hour had passed by since 6:00, but it had actually only been 
ten minutes.

Her mother called.  "Usagi!  You have a visitor!"

She stood up.  "Be right there!"

Luna - who had been sitting on the carpet watching Usagi the whole time 
- watched as she ran out of the living room, her father following suit.  
She joined them out in the hallway and saw Andy, decked out in a red, 
long-sleeved polo and white slacks.  It wasn't long before Luna heard 
the words Usagi's father told Andy that were usually addressed only to 
Mamoru.

Normally, Usagi would be irritated when her father would proclaim his 
"Take-care-of-her-Don't-stay-out-too-late-Bring-her-back-early-or-get-
out-of-town-by-sunrise" speech to Mamoru.  Yet this time, she didn't 
mind at all.

Andy listened patiently and nodded at his every sentence.  He waited 
until he and Usagi were out of the Tsukino's gate before he started 
speaking.

"Boy, that sure is one, protective dad you've got," he grumbled.

Usagi nodded.  "Otou-san is *always* like that.  It's like he can't 
stand the thought that his little girl has grown up."

When they turned at the corner from Usagi's house, she saw the car Andy 
had rented for the occasion.  "You can drive?" Usagi asked.

Andy raised and lowered his eyebrows twice in quick succession.  "Got 
my license just last year.  Hop on in.  Don't worry, I'm a safe 
driver," he said, smiling as he assured her.  "Besides, I'd better 
bring you back intact or your dad will have my hide!"

Usagi weakly returned his smile.  "So where are we going?" she asked.

Andy inserted his keys in the ignition, started the car, and rolled it 
cautiously away from the curb and into the street.  "Do you remember 
that restaurant you showed me the other day?  You said that you and 
your friend were secretly chasing someone there some time ago."

"Yes . . ." Usagi answered, recalling that she had told him of the time 
when Minako and she had first met Teno'u Haruka and were bent on 
proving that "he" and Kaiou Michiru were not a couple - before they 
found out that Haruka was actually a girl.

"I was thinking that maybe we could have dinner there, and if there's 
still time, we could take a short stroll around the park," Andy said.

Usagi nodded slowly.  "Okay . . ."

They didn't speak much in the restaurant, mainly because Usagi didn't 
feel like it and Andy was still a bit nervous.  The sole topics they 
could come up with were their schoolwork, and how their grades had been 
lately.  Only when they started walking around the Juuban Park did they 
start to loosen up a bit.

"Andy-san . . . I was just wondering.  Where'd you learn to speak 
Nihongo?" Usagi asked.

"I took lessons.  I wanted to learn a lot of different languages."

She raised her eyebrows.  "Why is that?"

Andy grinned.  "I want to be a pilot someday and go around the world.  
Anything that has to do with travelling.  So far I only know three 
languages - my native English, then Spanish and Japanese.  Let me tell 
you right now that I had an awfully hard time learning your dialect!"

"Why?  I don't think it's that hard.  To tell you the truth, I don't 
know English very well myself."

Andy nodded.  "We were born and raised to understand a language that 
our parents could understand.  Otherwise, how would we be able to 
communicate?"

Usagi imagined her parents trying to talk to her and herself responding 
in a language very alien to them both.  "Misunderstanding would be 
evident," she said, smiling.

"I took up sociology last year," Andy said, running a hand through his 
black hair.  "If you think about it, words are really only sounds our 
ancestors made to symbolize something that they see.  Just pure 
symbols, similar to the origins of alphabets, which actually started as 
mere drawings of cows and fishes and the like.  Ask a person in a 
country where it doesn't snow - What is the translation of the word 
snow in your language?  You'll find that he would have trouble figuring 
that out, since the people of that land long ago did not even know what 
snow was, so they haven't made a word - a sound - for it."

They sat down on a nearby bench.  Andy continued.

"But that doesn't mean that two people with the same language can't 
have misunderstandings with each other, too.  As a person grows up, he 
has his own meaning to that sound that he heard.  What you would think 
is totally safe to say could greatly offend another person.  So you end 
up fighting with him or her.  That's why it's difficult to watch what 
you say, to quote a phrase.  Because you don't know exactly  what a 
certain word means to someone else."

Usagi stared at him, her eyes wide, almost as if she was horrified.  
Actually, she *was* horrified.

"What's wrong?" Andy asked, concerned.

She bowed her head, feeling dizzy all of a sudden.  Her mind reeled as 
she relived her and Mamoru's last conversation.  

<'The problem with you is that you always jump to conclusions which 
aren't true!'>

 she 
thought.

"Usagi?"  Andy reached out and held her hand.

Usagi shook her head.  "Go . . . gomen.  It's nothing - I just 
remembered something."

Andy let out a huge, relieved sigh.  "You had me worried there for a 
minute."

"I'm okay.  You shouldn't worry so much."

Andy nodded.  "Let's talk about something else, all right?"

"Yeah, let's."

There was a silent pause as they thought of what to say.

Usagi looked up.  "Ne, Andy-san, when are you going back to America?"

Andy was quiet for a while before he shrugged.  "Not 'till the end of 
this school year . . . I don't know.  Why?"

She bit her lip.  "If you won't be here for long, then why did you even 
bother courting me?"

He started kicking the grass with his shoe.  "I was hoping that I could 
stay longer than that."

"No matter how long you wish to stay, you can't live here forever," 
Usagi said, confused.  "The authorities would make sure of that."

"I know," Andy sighed.  "But I could come back every now and then."

"Oh, Andy . . ." Usagi gave him a sad look.  "This will never work."

"We can make it work."

"We?  But . . . we can't!  *I* can't . . ."

"We CAN."

Andy leaned forward.  Usagi slowly closed her eyes.  Their lips 
touched, first briefly, then longer.

Usagi felt herself caught up in the moment - until she opened her eyes 
halfway and saw blue eyes staring back at her.  But they were not 
Andy's.  And they were not filled with love.  Instead, what she saw 
were silent, sad, and accusing eyes framed by a handsome face and jet-
black hair . . .

Her eyes were wide open when she pushed Andy away.  "No.  I can't do 
this."

"But . . ."

"No!!!" Usagi shouted, breaking away and standing up abruptly.

Andy just stared at her while she paced on the grass.

"I . . . I have a boyfriend!  And I love him!  I'm sorry, but this 
would never, *ever* work!"

"Think, Usagi.  If you *do* love him, then why did you agreed on this 
date?" Andy asked, never taking his eyes off her.

Usagi paused from pacing.  Suddenly, Ami's question came back out in 
the open.

She was so torn that she held her head with both hands and shook it.  
Andy stood up and held her shoulder, but she shrugged him away.

"Gomen!  Gomen!!  I love him!  I love him!!  And no matter what you say 
or do, you'll never take my heart from him!  Never!"  She covered her 
face and cried.

For a long time, Andy stood there, looking at her.  "So this whole 
evening was just a joke."

Usagi turned to stare at him, tears running down her cheeks.

"I should have known it all along.  After all, I *do* look like him, 
don't I, Usagi?  I'm just a substitute until he comes back."

"No!  It's not that!  I didn't mean to -"

He just nodded and looked away.  "Come on.  Let's take you home."

No one said a word during the trip back to the Tsukino's home.  Andy 
parked the car in front of the gate and waited for Usagi to depart.

"You kissed me, Usagi," he said quietly.

Usagi paused from closing the door, but she didn't look at him.

Andy gave her a sad smile.  "For a moment, you loved me.  If only it 
could have lasted forever."

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again and swallowed.

"Your boyfriend is very lucky to have you.  Sayonara . . . Usagi."

Usagi closed the car door and watched the car roll away.  "Sayonara," 
she whispered.  Then she slowly walked inside her house, feeling 
relieved - and very heavy - at the same time.

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