Poems

Jason’s Lyric

What goes on through the mind of someone who lost so much of what he barely had in such a short time period

Too much and I wish I wasn’t hearing it

Whose childhood memories were ones full of hope

Yet blocked out due to child abuse. No joke

Years of being told to be quite and follow rules

My parents, one good, one bad, which one to use

So confused

My memories are blacked out cause most are pretty dark

The damage was done…and I’d say it left its mark

Learned how to be creative from m grandpa, he died when I was young

Maybe around four or five, that surely wasn’t fun

My mom took on the tradition; all I had to do was listen

She was a seamstress, made clothes that shined and glistened

Though it never seemed strange my life was bound to change

Through Jr. High I was a nerd, I know it seems absurd

The change to High School, I dropped the fool and got cool that’s my word

I was happy for once but alas that didn’t last

The joy of the present day was just a thing of the past

My mom and step dad got a disease

It was spelled with the letters H.I.V.

To watch your own parents die before your eyes

Was enough to make me ask god why oh why

But it made me think I was going crazy cause at the time

No mourning occurred I didn’t even cry

Then a year later my Grandma died

I realized I still didn’t cry

Then my Uncle died

I still didn’t cry

I think those were the days I lost my compassion

Why did all this occur, why did it happen

I learned how not to show it but the pain is everlasting

I want my feelings back all I kept was the laughing

Early on I got through all the stress by stealing all the time

And having sex and staying out late partying all the time

I saw a psychologist maybe three or four times

And all she asked me all the time was why I didn’t cry

And through all that I still graduated right

Swore off stealing and got my life right

Then in college I broke down and then I cried

Dropped out and went back and still I cried

Wondering to myself if I was alright

Staying up all night

Man I wasn’t right

Started being non social giving up on life

And now I’m where I am now trying to make it right

In my heart I know it’s never too late to fight
 

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