When we were dating, my husband would gently rub me with hot oil
while he affectionately called me lovely nicknames.
Now that we are married, he gently rubs his car with hot wax,
which now has its own nickname.
When we were dating, my husband would always love to
watch me undress.
Now that we are married, he loves to watch championship wrestling.
When we were dating, my husband read poetry to me
as he caressed me in his arms late into the night.
Now that we are married, he quotes me
sports statistics and stock prices during breakfast.
When we were dating, my husband would passionately motivate
and urge me on in whatever I did,
whether it was at my job or during sex.
Now that we are married, the only thing he passionately urges on
is his football team.
When we were dating, my husband would make love to me
on his waterbed like a sex-starved wild beast who would go on and on.
So we called the bed our "Ocean Of Motion Love Potion".
Now that we are married, the bed has been renamed "The Dead Sea".