D and Hand D is the mystery man of the movie. Being of no particularly obvious lineage and wandering around from town to town lending his services as a Vampire Hunter, he meets up with the troubled Doris. D himself is pretty reserved and for the most part keeps to himself. He does have this uncontrollable urge to bite the necks of nubile young women. However, D is afraid of them (women that is). They just scare the beejeebies out of him! Much to the annoyance of Hand, D's talking body part. Confused? Well, D's hand is alive! And it has an attitude. Most of its time is spent on goading D about his inability to get with the girl (which is mostly due to D's sense of honor and partly due to D's personal fears) or about D's heredity (which D doesn't like to talk 'bout). The rest of the time it's saving D's life.

Doris Doris is our heroine and our main victim. It seems that she's just so good looking that she attracted the attention of the most powerful living vampire in the area. She's also just SO poor that she can't afford enough material to make a skirt that covers her butt. This' also coz she's wearing the same skirt she's had since she was about yea tall [gestures elaborately with her hands some 2 feet above the ground]. Poor unappreciated Doris. She also dabbles in monster killing, as a means of supporting herself and her younger brother Dan. Unfortunately, she's so dirt poor that she can't afford to hire D really. So in return for his services she offers him food, lodging and her body. On the other hand she wouldn't let the Mayor's son Greco touch her, but for D she'll make an exception (maybe coz the child's got a thang for D). But that's coz she admires D whereas Greco's.. Greco.

Dan Dan is D's biggest fan and Doris' lil brother. He goes about trying to keep his sister away from icky things (i.e. Greco!) and other generally unpleasant creatures. D on the other hand, isn't a generally unpleasant creature. He's a mysterious yet cool creature who can kik butt! So, Dan idolizes him (to the point of copying D) and puts his trust into D to save his sister from the evil vampire on the hill.

Count Magnus Lee Magnus Lee is the infamous "vampire on the hill" and the "vampire that's as old as my great-grandmammy" I've been referring to this entire time. According to legend he's 5,000 (altho he hints at being much older), and of course, going all this time without any challengers, he's grown in strength and he's also bored out of his mind. So he kidnaps young village girls, weds them, beds them and does what he feels like doing till they're dead. His latest objective is getting full control of the short-skirted Doris, who's proving to be more of a challenge to kidnap than the other girls were. He's the evil villain of the story, and is a descendant of the great Count Dracula (seems Drackie's been a bit busy tho since we find out that D has an interesting relation to the dead count as well). Lee also has a daughter, Ramika, who's VERY into the snob thing she thinks she deserves.

Ramika Ramika is the snotty offspring of Count Lee. She's really into the "I'm the last descendent of the House of Lee and I'm special so grovel or else!" mentality. Much to her chagrin, no one else thinks so (which I find wildly hilarious ~ there's nothing funnier than a snubbed snob). She's also into the "I'm a pure-blooded vampire so nyah!" thing too. Much to her despair, she finds out that her honorable ancestor, Count Dracula, didn't produce as many pure-blooded offspring as she thought. Oh sure, she's a pure-bred vampy, but she's got a not too distant relative who isn't! Hehe.. anyway, she's full of herself and she doesn't like that daddy's interested in country bumpkins.

Ramsey Ramsey is Count Lee's lacky. He's desperately trying to get into the House of Lee (which is either thru marrying Ramika [blech!] or something else that I can't figure out). But, in order to do that he's gotta be a good little lacky and remember that he's nothing in the shadow of Ramika (or at least that's what Ramika's convinced of). Anyhow, Reiginsei can alter space around him, which could really suck coz you could end up stabbing yourself if he twisted things the right way. Anyhow, he plays the pre-nemesis of D. That is, he's the bad guy D has to go up against all the way until he gets to Count Lee.

Greco Greco is the mayor's son and is convinced he's the most eligible bachelor in the world (like the pic? I'm rather fond of it myself ^_~). Therefore, girls should be falling all over him and fighting to get his handkerchief. His sights, however, are set on Doris, who doesn't like him coz.. well.. he's a creep (or just downright icky, whatever you wanna call it). Unluckily for Doris, this guy doesn't take no for an answer, so he decides to go after her by any means of treachery that it takes.

Dr. Feringo The good doctor is really truly good.. until the end of the movie. But for the most part he works hard to help Dan and Doris get thru their hard times, and he convinces the mayor to let D help Doris out by trying to kill Count Lee instead of locking Doris up in prison (a quarantine of sorts, if you will). So, the doctor works hard for no payment to do what he can for the two. Then Count Lee gets a hold of him and the doctor becomes a minion of Lee. So, he tricks Doris into coming with him and takes her on a wild carriage ride to Lee's castle. Doris eventually figures it out (before she actually gets to the castle thankfully) and struggles to either stop the carriage or jump out [I'm a little fuzzy on this part, gomen]. In the process the good doctor kinda sorta grabs her dress and Doris kinda sorta.. falls out (how can she help it? she's had the dress since she was yea tall! [gestures again]).

The Three Sisters of Midwich   The Three Sisters of Midwich! Using their tongues to suck out the life of hapless intruders >:)~ And they get SO happy when their visitors turn out to be men, because.. well.. even snakes need to have their fun. D manages to stumble into a trap and is getting his life sucked by the wily lizard sisters when he unleashes his full power on them and blows them straight to hell.