Flower

I watched him as he picked a rose from the garden. It's so peaceful here, and he fits in this world of peace. I feel out of place, like an intruder in this splendor that is his home, his heart. I know he loves me. I don't know why he loves me. Anyone could see the way he adores me. He's always touching me, talking to me, trying to cheer me up the Duo does Heero. I know Heero and Duo have a romantic relationship. It's not easy to see, but I guess I know what to look for. Today I'm trying something new with my hair. Something ha asked me to do. He says my eyes are beautiful. He wants to be able to see them both. Of course, I did as he asked. I could never deny him. So, today my hair is out of my face and brushed softly down my back. I never realized how long it real is. It reaches to my shoulders. He's looking at me now; looking at me with longing and love.

I look back and smile faintly.

He's smiling at me. I love the way he looks when he smiles. It's so rarer, and I love that I am the one who brought that smile to his face. He's done as I asked and brushed his hair out of his eyes. His soft green eyes shining like jewels. He's a jewel to me. He's the most presous thing in my world, and without him I would be empty. He looks slightly out of place in the garden. Maybe it's just the part of the garden we are in. Everything here look so clean. The whiteness of the lilies contrasts with his personality. I can see him at peace with roses. The beautiful flowers are for looking and not touching. They have thorns that warn against intuders. They let the world know that they are welcome to gaze, but never to touch or hold. That is the way I see him. I long to touch him, to hold and kiss him. He would never allow that. He is like the rose and has thorns to warn against me, so I sit here and love and admire from afar. Does he know that I am in love with him? I'm sure he does. Everyone does. I've never been able to hide my feelings very well, and my love for him has not been an exception. I walk over and sit on the bench next to him, close enough that if I leaned forward I could kiss him.

He sits down next to me, peaceful and calm in the way that is him. His presence always calms me. How I love him. When did I fall in love with this boy, I don't know. I have had many lovers of both sexes, but I've never felt this way. He's sitting so close to me and yet he seems so far away. I long to reach out and touch him, but that would be wrong. I would spoil the beauty and innocence in him that I love and charish. I can not give in to my disires. He starts to talk about the flowers. He says how each one reminds him of one of us, of the pilots. He sees himself as the lily, pure and sweet. Duo is the orchid, wild and so beautiful. Heero is like a dandilion, strong and beautiful in it's own simple way. Wufei is a sunflower, standing strait and tall and proud. Last he comes to me.

" What flower reminds you of me little one?" I ask.

" The rose. So beautiful to look at and to love, yet forbiden to touch," he whispers.

Oh how I want him! I love this boy and he loves me and he wants me, and I am too afraid to take him. I who look at death with a cold calm face am afraid of love.

I can see that his guard is down and that my comment took him by surprise. I hadn't been intending to say what I had, it just seemed to come out. He's knows I love him, and I think he might care for me. He looks like he's fighting a war in his mind. Could it be over me? I can't resist the urge and my heart takes over ignoring my minds pleas to stop. I close the inch between us and kiss him. Softly and delicatly on the lips. You are surprised at first, and to my elation, you return my kiss.

You leaned over me. I could sense you moving, and then you did something I never expected. You kissed me in your soft gentle way. Electricity ran down my spine and into my groin. You are making it so that I can no longer stand to be without you. I return your kiss and feel you smile against me. You had never expected this. You took a chance, so you must really be willing to love me no matter what. I let you proceed and we make love on the grass in your garden.

When I wake up, you are gone. I get scared that you are regreting what has been the best experience of my life. I look around for you, but can't see you anywhere. I call out your name, but you do not answer. I feel warm arms suround me as I feel like falling to the ground in defeat. I turn around in your arms and face you.

" I was so afraid that you left me!" I sobbed.

" Never again…" you whisper as you hand me a rose.

" What…"

You handed me a perfect red rose, except it had no thorns.

" Now you can touch the flower you have loved and admired from afar," you say softly.

" I love you, Trowa."

" I love you too, my little one, my Quatre."

And he told the truth when he said that I'd be able to touch the flower I have loved and admired from afar for so long… I hold him in my arms every night as I drift to sleep…