Part Two

//Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
The night is my companion and solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied
And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I'd wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear

Through this world I've stumbled so many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word, to find the truth enslaved
Oh you speak to me in riddles and you speak to me in rhyme
My body aches to breathe your breath, your words keep me alive

And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I'd wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear//
(Possession - Sarah Mclachlan)

Over the next few months Relena threw herself into her work, letting the politics bury her so that she had less time to dwell on her feelings. She discovered that she missed Duo, more than she thought she would and that unsettled her so much that she worked even harder. Duo kept his promise and sent regular communications to her, but they were little more than postcards assuring her that he was alive and well, and Relena couldn't stop herself from worrying about his state of mind after receiving them.

Nearly one year after Duo's departure events found Relena in her office with Dorothy Catalonia, frantically trying to complete a report before attending a trade conference on L4. For the best part of the morning the two women worked in silence, until Dorothy broke it with an unexpected question.

"So what are you going to get Heero and Hilde for an anniversary present?"

Relena blinked and looked up from the report. "What?"

Dorothy regarded her with a slight, amused smile on her lips. "You do remember that it will be the Yuy's first anniversary in four days time?”

Relena's breath caught. Had that much time passed by already? Was it really nearly a year since Heero and Hilde married?

"And Duo left..." She murmured. Dorothy frowned.

"What? I didn't catch that." She questioned.

Relena shook her head. "Nevermind, Dorothy. Er... so, anniversary, huh?" She leaned forward on her elbows, resting her chin on her hands. "Do you have any suggestions?"

Dorothy snickered. "Yes... baby clothes."

"Baby..." Relena's voice trailed away as she realised the implications of Dorothy's words. She sat upright and stared at the blond woman. "Hilde's _pregnant_?"

Dorothy seemed to be taking a perverse enjoyment out of Relena's astonishment as she nodded vigorously. "Yes, one month I think. Apparently Heero is over the moon."

Relena's eyes narrowed. "And just how did you find this information out, Dorothy? I hardly think it likely that Hilde would _tell_ you."

Dorothy shrugged. "No, a little bird called Mariemaya told me." She admitted. "That child chatters quite a lot if you know the right thing to start her off."

"Charming..." Relena muttered, but her mind was veering away from Dorothy's admission and walking down another road. It was rather odd to think of Heero as a prospective father, he didn't really strike Relena as the type to be enthused by children. However, Relena reminded herself, she had not considered Heero the type to fall in love with Hilde either. Relena felt a sadness she thought to be long gone jab at her heart. She remembered daydreams, only a few, that involved herself as the mother of a child with intense Prussian blue eyes.

"Feeling alright, Miss Relena?" Dorothy's voice cut across her thoughts and Relena blinked.

"Hmmm...? Oh, yes... uh... well, I'll look into some baby clothes." Relena said hurriedly, scribbling herself a note to avoid Dorothy's eyes. "Now, I think we should continue preparing these papers..."

"Of course," Dorothy's tones were as smooth as chocolate, hiding the mix of amusement and concern inside of her.

Relena turned her attention back to her report, but found that concentration eluded her. On top of her own astonishment was the worrying thought... *How do I break this to Duo, and how is he going to react?*

***

September AC 203

Quatre Raberba Winner tried to concentrate on the document in front of him, but once again his eyes blurred and obscured the type. He cursed softly and rubbed his eyes, angry at the intrusion of his feelings. He reached for a tissue and felt a box being shoved in his hand.

"Thank you, I... aah!" Quatre exclaimed in surprise and looked up. "_Duo_?"

The violet-eyed man grinned wickedly at him from across the desk. "A little absorbed in your work, Q-man?" He asked. "Or is something else on your mind?"

Quatre slid away from the question and after quickly blowing his nose, he peppered Duo with questioned. "When did you get back? Where have you been?" And so on.

"I got back on the slowest shuttle ever just this morning," Duo said. Lazily, he took a seat and stretched out his long legs, he had noticed Quatre's evasion, but decided to leave it... for now. "I've been all around the place, but for the last four months or so I've been on Mars."

Quatre's eyebrows shot up. "_Mars_?" He said in astonishment. "The terraforming project?"

Duo nodded. "It was..." He looked at his hands which Quatre could see were rough and callused. "Just something I felt like doing." He said and then grinned. "I could yell at the wheat and thump it around if I wanted to, no one answering me back... it was great."

"How are Zechs... Milliardo... and Miss Noin doing?" Quatre asked, his private hell diverted by curiousity. "I take it that you met them?"

"Met them, stayed with them, worked on their farm." Duo leaned back. "And it's not Miss Noin anymore, Quatre. She and Milliardo got married a while ago, it was quiet, but then he didn't really want to make a big song and dance about it."

"You'll have to tell Relena," Quatre said and smiled as Duo straightened and his violet eyes widened. "She's here for the trade conference."

Duo rubbed the back of his neck. "Hmmm... yeah... well, I bet she's a bit mad at me... for running out like I did."

"I think she understood, Duo." Quatre reassured the other man. "She's never spoken of you with anything but affection."

"Yeah?" Duo looked pleased.

Quatre nodded. "Yes." He said firmly.

Duo got to his feet and half-turned to go, then he paused and looked intently at Quatre. "By the way, why were you looking so down when I came in?" He asked.

Quatre's eyes slid away from Duo's intent gaze. "It's nothing."

"Nothing?" Duo shook his head and planted his hands on the desk, leaning forward. "So why do you look like your dog just died, huh? Or..." His tone softened. "As if your heart is breaking?"

Quatre winced as Duo's words hit home and Duo sighed. "I've seen that look Quatre. I saw it in the mirror for a very long time, and even now it comes back occasionally." He admitted. "Catherine?"

Quatre averted his gaze, not wanting to let Duo see his reaction to Catherine's name. "Duo... please..."

"You guys had a fight." Duo stated, "And now neither will back down and apologise, am I right?" He folded his arms and shook his head. "Q-man, couples have fights ALL the time, Hilde and I..." He swallowed. "Hilde and I used to scrap a lot, but it was just a part of the relationship."

Quatre made a helpless gesture as his resolution not to speak wavered. "I... we..." He faltered. "It's a little bit more than that..."

"Spill it," Duo ordered. "You'll feel better if you do."

Quatre sank further into his chair and rubbed his forehead. "It happened two days ago." he said. "The circus was here for the next three months and I attended all the performances, as usual. Anyway... that night... one of the ropes gave out and.." he shuddered at the memory. "Catherine fell and there was no safety net... I thought my heart was going to burst as I watched, helpless to stop her descent... But... Trowa, he caught her, just in time..."

"Let me guess what happened next," Duo interrupted. "Once she was safe, your fear turned to anger?"

Quatre nodded miserably. "I came to her trailer and I told her that she couldn't do this anymore, if she loved me..."

Duo groaned. "You... aw man... Quatre, you idiot!" He slapped his brow. "You don't have to tell me anymore... I can _guess_ what happened after that stupid statement." He wagged a finger at Quatre who stiffened. "And you _know_ it was a dumb thing to say!"

"I know... I know..." Quatre groaned. "But I... she won't speak to me Duo. I've called..."

"No good," Duo shook his head. "The only option you have now is... crawling. Go and grovel at her feet, tell her that you're a moron and that you'll never order her about again. She might forgive you then." He reached out and put a hand on Quatre's shoulder. "But don't, for God's sake, leave things as they are. Don't make my mistake, Quatre..."

***
The circus was relatively quiet as Quatre entered the main tent. He looked back over his shoulder and Duo gave him a grin and the thumbs up. Drawing in a deep breath, Quatre straightened his shoulders and gripped the flowers in his hand tighter. He moved forward, his eyes darting around, searching for Catherine. One of the circus hands told him she was inside, but Quatre couldn't see her anywhere.

"Try the top platform."

Quatre jumped slightly and turned to see Trowa regarding him from the shadows. The emerald eyed man's expression was carefully neutral and Quatre's nerves increased. He had not seen Trowa since the incident and was unsure how his best friend was taking the whole thing. After all, Catherine was Trowa’s sister...

"Trowa, I..." He bit his lip and then attempted a faltering smile. "How are you?"

"Fine." Trowa turned his head and nodded. "She's been up there most of the time. If you want to talk, then you'll have to go up too."

Quatre followed Trowa's gaze and gulped. The top platform was the one right up by the roof of the tent, accessible via the main supporting pole. It was very, very high. On the platform was a small, hunched figure in pink... Catherine...

The blond man's eyes narrowed and his lips thinned. "Right..." he said. "Then I _will_ go up!" And with that, Quatre strode over to the main pole and began to climb upwards.

Duo, watching from the entrance, grinned. "Go Q-man!" He said and Trowa turned to him.
"So this is your doing?" He asked and Duo shrugged.

"I may have had something to do with it." he said. "Are you angry?"

Trowa shook his head. "No. I knew Quatre didn't mean the things he said, but it's no good if I tell Catherine that. She needs to hear it from him." He glanced back. Quatre was two-thirds of the way up and Catherine was still oblivious to his approach. Trowa looked at Duo. "Thank you." He said softly.

Duo scratched the back of his neck and fidgeted. "Aw... I couldn't just leave Quatre is a mess like that." He mumbled. "Someone should be happy..."

Beyond them, Quatre reached his goal and was greeted by a surprised outcry from Catherine. Duo glanced up and grinned as Quatre plastered himself to the support, offering flowers and apologies to the stunned young woman.

Trowa regarded Duo steadily. "Are you still that unhappy, Duo?"

Duo blinked, a little taken aback by the sudden personal question from the normally reticent Trowa. He hesitated, not knowing exactly how to put his feelings into words. "I'm better." He said finally.

"Good." Trowa looked beyond him and a slight smile curved his lips. "I'll see you later." He nodded, not just to Duo, and then slipped away.

Duo whirled on whoever it was listening in and his jaw dropped.

Relena smiled. "Don't look so surprised, Duo." She said. "I always was good at tracking people down."

***

"Relena!" Duo swallowed his surprise and moved forward, picking Relena up
and giving her a great bear hug that left her gasping for breath. "Man, it's
_great_ to see you!"

She patted his shoulder and laugh. "I feel the same, but... could you put me
down now?"

Smiling sheepishly, Duo set Relena gently down. They both eyed each other,
looking at the changes the year had wrought in them. Relena was pleased with
what she saw. Duo's eyes were no longer so haunted, his hair was longer and
he had started to braid it back once more, and his frame was no longer so
wasted but nicely filled out with lean muscle. Her lingering doubts about
the wisdom of his decision to wander were swept away; clearly Duo had
discovered some form of peace. However, she was naggingly aware that he, as
yet, was ignorant of the impending new arrival to the Yuy household, and she
was worried that the news might undo all that his sabbatical had achieved.

Duo frowned slightly as he regarded Relena. She was clearly pleased to see
him, but he saw the weariness in her face and she was thinner too. He
recognised the signs of a body that was being pushed to hard and fast, and
he shook his head. Relena's eyes widened. "What's wrong Duo?" She asked,
afraid that she had read him wrongly and he was still depressed.

He wagged a finger in her face. "You've been overworking, haven't you,
Princess?" He scolded. "And after I _told_ you to get out and enjoy life!"

Relief flowed through her and she laughed. "It's not that easy..." Relena
protested. "This has been a very busy year for me!"

Duo leaned forward. "I don't believe you." He said firmly. "You're a
workaholic, Relena, who won't look up from the paper work unless someone
prods you to do so!"

"Well, then I guess you got back just in time!" Relena said tartly.

"Looks like I did." Duo agreed. "Come on, you must have blocked aside some
time to come here, and now you've found me we can use that time to have
lunch and catch up."

Relena surrendered. "Very well, Duo, I place myself in your hands." She
said. "But I need to swing by the hotel and pick up a couple of things
first."

Twenty minutes later, Duo lounged in the sitting room of Relena's suite
waiting for her to return. As they approached the room, one of the trade
ministers waylaid them and asked Relena to spare five minutes. Duo frowned
and idly kicked the coffee table leg. *Five minutes, my ass!* He looked at
the clock and his frown deepened. *Damned leeches... sucking her dry.* He
wondered what the reaction would be if he kidnapped Relena for a few days
and spirited her away to a holiday beach. *Would the universe really
collapse if she wasn't around? She's not the Queen of the World anymore,
surely _someone_ else can be relied on?*

The door opened and Duo sat up. "Hey 'Lena, did that old..." His voice
trailed away when Dorothy Catalonia entered.

Dorothy's eyebrows shot up in surprise and then she smiled. "Well, well...
the prodigal returns."

Duo flashed her a careless grin. "Well, well... still as catty as ever."
Dorothy scowled at him and Duo made a mischievous face at her. "What's up,
Dorothy? Relena's been hijacked by some old fart."

"I thought so." Dorothy held up a small package. "Duo, can you give this to
her and say that it was the best I could find?" She checked her watch. "I
have a lunch appointment now that I must go to... as much as I'd love to
stay and enjoy a scintillating conversation with you." She mocked and tossed
Duo the package.

Duo deftly caught it. "Dorothy, the regret of missing a chat with you will
haunt me forever." He moaned dramatically. She snorted and left, slamming
the door behind her.

Duo grinned. "Success!" He glanced at the package curiously and shrugged.
None of his business really he told himself but he still squeezed it gently.
There was a muffled, squeaky sound and Duo's curiousity sharpened. Almost
without thinking, he opened pulled it open and mentally justified his
actions by reminding himself that he was still nominally Relena's bodyguard
and it was his duty to check for all possible dangers.

"What the fuck...?" Duo held up the small items and goggled at them in
disbelief. "Baby clothes?" He turned the romper suit around in his hands and
then picked up the small toy which squeaked when squeezed. "Why would
Relena...?"

He flinched at the thought which flashed through his mind. Relena did look
peaky... could she be pregnant? And if so... _who_ was the father? Duo was
sure he would have heard from Millardo if Relena had married, mail was slow
between Earth and Mars, but not _that_ slow. Duo's fingers clenched into a
fist, crushing the tiny garment. He felt a hot boiling rage well up within
as his mind conjured up images of Relena and some faceless man. No, it
couldn't be... he _had_ to be wrong! These things were for someone elses
baby... maybe Wufei and Sally's kid... Duo shook his head. No, the Changs'
baby girl would be too big for this now, the romper suit was obviously
designed for a newborn baby.

Relena burst in, a little breathless and smiling. "Duo, I'm sorry that took
longer than I expected. I'm ready to go... Duo?" She approached him, taking
note of his abstracted look and the baby clothes in his hands.

Duo jumped slightly. "I... I..." He started to hide the garments behind his
back, but stopped and held them out to her. "Dorothy delivered them... she
said that they were the best she could find."

"Oh." Relena took the clothes. She glanced at his troubled expression and
wondered if Dorothy had told him _who_ they were for. "Did she say anything
else?"

Duo shook his head. "Er... no." His eyes wandered involuntarily down to
Relena's abdomen.

Relena blinked and then realised what Duo was thinking. Her lips twitched
and then she couldn't hold it in any longer, so she laughed. Duo's eyes
widened and he stared at her, wondering what was so funny. Relena pointed a
shaky finger at the baby clothes and gasped. "You... thought... you... I
was..."

Duo went red. "Argh!" He cried and threw himself on the sofa, putting a
cushion over his face and wrapping his arms around it. "I'm such a moron!"
He moaned, muffled by the cushion.

Relena composed herself and sat on the edge of the sofa. She patted his arm
and then tried to pull the cushion away. "It's an understandable mistake to
make, Duo. You haven't seen me for a year, but I assure you that the baby
these clothes are intended for is not mine."

Duo was silent beneath the cushion, although he didn't relax his grip. He
sighed heavily. "It's Heero and Hilde's, right?"

Relena looked at her hands. "Yes." She said softly. "Hilde's going to have a
baby in eight months time."

Duo didn't make a sound, he just lay there, his expression hidden by the
cushion. Relena licked her lips. "Do you want to stay here?" She asked. "I
understand if you don't want to go out right now."

"No, no... we're still going out for lunch." Duo was firm. "Just... give me
five minutes, okay?"

"Sure." Relena stood up, grabbing the baby clothes and the toy. "I need to
change anyway. Just knock on my bedroom door when you're ready."

Duo listened to her footsteps fade away and the door shut behind her, and
then removed the cushion from his face. He stared up at the ornate ceiling
and blew his bangs out of his eyes. "A baby, huh?"

His mind was numb, no pain, no anger... just a disconcerting absence of
emotion. Perhaps his wanderings had finally distanced him from the issue.
Perhaps he was finally over Hilde. Perhaps he...

"Aw, screw it!" Duo sat up, violently throwing the sofa cushion across the
room. He _did_ feel an emotion, and it wasn't anger or sorrow. He was
_envious_. Heero Yuy had already taken everything Duo wanted, and now he was
going to be a father, to Hilde's baby, to the baby that should have been
Duo's. The envy churned Duo's stomach... yeah, Heero Yuy had it all and what
was Duo Maxwell's lot? Turned into a roving bum with little prospects and no
Hilde to share his life. His shoulders slumpec and he buried his face in his
hands, exhaling sharply. "It's just not fucking _fair_!"

"I'm not going to eat with someone who's sunk into self-pity." Relena spoke
coolly behind him.

Duo lifted his head and turned to face her. Relena folded her arms and shook
her head. "I thought you never lied, Duo." She said calmly. "You told me
that you had found peace, but from this reaction I can only conclude that
you've been burying your hurt, not working through it."

He stared at her, initially injured by the lack of sympathy and then
uncomfortably aware of the truth in her words. Relena moved towards him, her
expression softening as she neared. "I never meant for you to find out it
such a way." She said. "I was planning to break the news in more gently and
to give you some time to absorb it... although I didn't really anticipate
such a violent reaction." Her gaze travelled to the cushion he had thrown.

"I..." Duo faltered. He felt sick, mostly at his own display of childish
rage prompted by such a low emotion like envy. The disappointment in
Relena's eyes shot through him and he remembered all the resolutions he had
made to himself on the journey to L4. Resolutions that he had already
started to break. "I'm sorry Relena, I really did think that I wouldn't act
like this again." His lips curved into a weary, rueful smile. "I psyched
myself up on the way back here, told myself that I could now walk up to
Heero and Hilde and tell them sincerely that I was happy for them."

Relena sighed. "And the information about the baby changed all that..." Her
eyes met his. "Does that mean you'll go away again, Duo?"

Duo shook his head. "No, no I'm not going to run away anymore... I _have_ to
face facts and the baby, well, that's a _big_ fact. I'm not going to say
that it hasn't hit me like a punch to the gut though." Duo laughed bitterly.
"But Relena, although I'm not angry... I am _jealous_ of Heero... he's gonna
be a Dad..."

Relena's eyes widened in surprised. "Why Duo Maxwell... I never dreamed that
you wanted children!"

Duo laughed again, with amusement rather than bitterness now. "Well... I
don't know about most people, but I factored in the idea of kids when I
thought about marrying Hilde." He shrugged. "I don't know... I just liked
the idea of a rugrat of our own... doing the real family thing, you get what
I mean?"

Relena smiled and nodded slowly. "I get it, Duo." She blushed faintly. "Even
if you're not contemplating marriage... perhaps it is something everyone
who's in love thinks about?"

She was quickly encircled in Duo's arms and wound up with her cheek pressed
against his leather-clad shoulder as he hugged her tightly. "So it was a big
shock to you too, huh Princess?"

Relena's laugh was shaky. "Y-yes." She admitted. "I mean... I half-expected
them to start a family at _some_ point, but not so soon!"

Duo grinned. "Maybe it was an accident." He chuckled. "Man, the look on
Heero's face would've been priceless!" He stepped back, releasing Relena,
but his hands lingered on her shoulders. "You okay?"

"M-me?" Relena stared at him. "I should be asking you that question!
_You're_ the one who was upset earlier!"

Duo shrugged. "I can't hold onto the anger, Relena. If I learnt anything
during my travels it was that... I've got to keep on living, which is why I
returned. I'm going to make a new start and get a new job." He met her eyes.
"And this time I'm not going to leech off you, 'Lena."

"You never 'leeched' off me, Duo!" Relena snapped. "I needed your support as
much as you need mine! And I didn't offer you a job out of pity... it was
convenient for us both and I knew that you could do it!" She folded her arms
and her lips curved slightly. "By the way, I still need a decent bodyguard."

Duo, initially taken aback by her vehemence, grinned at her final words.
"Well... if you're sure..."

"I'm sure." Relena said firmly. "As long as you promise me that you'll come
and talk to me if you ever feel the need, rather than bottling it up and
then trying to drink away your sorrows." She reached out and laid a hand on
his arm. "And that means starting from now."

He was silent for a while, although he put his hand over hers. With a slight
sigh, Duo nodded. "Okay, I promise." His smile returned and he sketched her
a mock salute. "Now, would the Princess like her luncheon?"

Relena matched his smile. "Certainly, Mr Maxwell."

***

Hilde Yuy patted her still-flat stomach and hummed softly. For all the
horror stories she had heard about pregnancy she was finding this remarkably
easy so far. Her morning sickness was relatively minimal and she had yet to
develop any strange cravings, she felt content and happy... and why not?
Business was doing well, she had many friends and tomorrow would mark the
end of her first year of marriage. Hilde certainly considered herself lucky.

However, there was one thing that still nagged at her, sometimes causing her
to wake with tears stinging her eyes.

"Duo..." Hilde sighed, her euphoric feeling deflating. She poured hot water
into two mugs and stirred the coffee, watching the liquid whirl as her mind
wandered.

The guilty feelings about Duo had not died over the year as she still
vividly recalled the heartbreak in his eyes when she last saw him. Hilde
wished there was some way that she could do something for Duo to make him
happy once again, but what he wanted from her was something she could no
longer give. And as for his animosity towards Heero... She shook her head,
that was a problem which needed to be resolved and she had little idea how
to do it.

Picking up the coffee mugs, Hilde walked into the main room where Heero was
correcting some of the bugs in a new system. He looked up when she set the
mug beside him and she smiled. "Going well?"

Heero nodded. "Should be done in another hour." He said and sipped his
coffee. "What's wrong, koi?" He asked and Hilde laughed lightly.

"Can't I have any secrets?" She teased, then she sobered. "I was just
thinking about things..."

The phone shrilled before Heero could question her further and Hilde picked
it up, activating the video screen. She blinked as a familiar face appeared.
"Duo?"

Duo grinned. "Hey Hilde, you're looking good... despite being knocked-up!"

"You... you know?" Hilde stuttered and Heero moved to stand beside her.
Duo's eyes hardened but his smile didn't waver.

"Heero," Duo nodded at the other man. "Looking forward to changing dirty
diapers?" He shifted his gaze back to Hilde. "I just got back, and Relena
told me. I thought I should congratulate you... both."

Hilde's lips curved in a tremulous smile. "Thank you Duo, that means a lot
to me... and to Heero." She glanced up at her husband.

There was a long uncomfortable silence, then Duo shrugged. "Well... take
care, Hilde." He quickly shut off the link and Hilde's bad feelings
returned.

"Why didn't you say anything, Heero?" She asked softly.

Heero closed his eyes. "Because there was nothing I could say."

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Go ON to PART THREE