Generation X Dating Dictionary
 
 ATTRACTION: the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
 
 LOVE AT 1st SIGHT: what occurs when two extremely horny, but not
 entirely choosy people meet.
 
 DATING: the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and
 energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially
 like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
 
 BIRTH CONTROL: avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing
 special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating
 repulsive men.
 
 EASY: a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a
 man.
 
 EYE CONTACT: a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a
 man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many
 woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily
 due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are
 not located in her chest.
 
 FRIEND: a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has
 some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
 
 INDIFFERENCE: a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted
 by the man as "playing hard to get."
 
 INTERESTING: a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do
 all the talking.
 
 IRRITATING HABIT: what the endearing little qualities that initially
 attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
 
 LAW OF RELATIVITY: how attractive a given person appears to be is
 directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
 
 NYMPHOMANIAC: a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more
 often than he does.
 
 SOBER: condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love
 
 SLUT: what a man calls a woman who won't sleep with him
 
 WHORE: what a man calls his ex after a nasty breakup
 
 DICKHEAD: what a woman calls her ex after a nasty breakup
 
 CLINGY: what a man labels a woman that wants to spend more time with
 him than he wants to spend with his friends.
 
 "Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a
 fucking big televison. Choose washing machines , cars, compact disc
 players and electrical tin openers...choose DIY and wondering who the
 fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching
 mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your 
 mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a 
 miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked 
 up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life
 ...But why would I want to do a thing like that?"