Comprehending Engineers

 Comprehending Engineers-Take One
 **********************************
 Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
 "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well,
 I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful
 woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
 clothes and said, "Take what you want." "The second engineer nodded approvingly,
 "Good choice; The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

 Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
 **********************************
 An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
 better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
 The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
 foundation for an enduring relationship.
 The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion
 and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
 "Both?"
 Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume
 you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and
 get some work done."

 Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
 **********************************
 What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
 Engineers?
 Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

 Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
 *********************************
 The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
 The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
 The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it
 cost?"
 The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
 that?"

 Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
 *********************************
 To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
 half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.