Hokkien Jokes
A Taiwanese man with very poor, practically no, English knowledge once
visited the US. His name happened to be:Deng Xiao Ping. At the
Immigration, the officer asked him a few questions to verify his true
intention of coming to the US:-
First he was asked:"What is the last name of our first President?" Not
knowing English neither what was the question, he guessed they must have
asked him for his family name. So he replied:"Wa Sing Deng." (in Hokkien
meaning My Last Name is Deng). The officer heard of "Washington!" (same
sound) so passed him of the first question.  Second question was:"What
do u come to the US for?" This time the Taiwanese thought, naturally he
would be
asked of his first name. So he replied:"Xiao Ping." The officer heard
of:"Shopping!" so nodded and proceeded with his third question.
"What car do u drive back home?" The tourist thought he was asked
of his marital status, so he exclaimed:"Wa Bo Bo."(in Hokkien meaning I
have no wife). And the officer heard of:"Volvo!" So smiled with
compliment and asked again. The fourth question was:"Who is the most
popular basket ball player here in the US?" By this time our Taiwanese
friend was getting a bit
impatient and annoyed hence shouted:"Mai Ho Wa Ja Dan."(meaning Don't
let me here wait). The officer heard of:"Michael Jordan!" With great
appreciation of this tourist's wide knowledge, the officer let him
passed without further harrassment. 
 
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Ah Cheng Buey Lo Ti
===================
Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and
wanted the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Lo Ti" (In Hokkien
meaning Ah Cheng buys bread)

The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to
re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were indignant and kicked up a
big fuss, claiming that the DJ was insulting them.

The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down. Finally,
after many hours of talking, the manager managed to find out that
the Ah Bengs were actually asking for the song "Unchained Melody" by the
Righteous Brothers.
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One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a
building and wanted to get down to the ground floor.

As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to
number 2.

It was then followed by a G.

As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had
no idea what does the letter G mean.

Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they
finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and
asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"
The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."
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Application for SIA Girl
========================

Interviewer: Name me 3 cars starting with the letter "L".
Applicant 1: "LANCER"
Interviewer: Good, next
Applicant 1: um.... "LEXUS"
Interviewer: Good, last one
Applicant 1: thinking for a while, says  "LOLLS LOYCE"

Interviewer: Name me 3 fruits starting with the letter "A".
Applicant 2: "APPLE"
Interviewer: Good, next
Applicant 2: um.... "APRICOT"
Interviewer: Good, last one
Applicant 2: thinking for a while, says  "ANG MOR TAN"

Interviewer: Name me a watch starting with the letter "L".
Applicant 3: "LOLEX!"

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Santa Singh (remember him?) just graduated from Law school and
decided to apply for a job in the most prestigous "Lee & Lee Law
Firm" company.

During the interview, Mr. Lee KY looked at Santa Singh's resume, 
thinks for a while and said, "Well, I would need to discuss your
application with my wife." And went off to discuss Santa's  application
with his wife.

Lee KY's wife said, "C'mon, don't you know that we only hire lawyers
with surnames beginning with 'Lee' only? Of course, we can't hire
Santa Singh!"
So Lee KY told the bad news to Santa Singh about his rejection.

Few days later, Santa Singh came back to the same company and
request for another interview and Lee KY said, 'Look Santa, I have
already
told you that we only hire.......' when Santa Singh interupted him
and said, 'I know, I know. I have just changed my name.'

Lee K Y looked at Santa Singh in surprise and asked, "What is your
new name then?"

On this, Santa Singh replied 'Surname Lee, Last name, Manga!'
(Manga-Li)