Kissing Defined

 GIRL FROM DEPT OF PHYSICS:

 "Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me with respect to me or with
 respect to you. First define how you are going to kiss. You can kiss me
 by treating me in the same reference frame as you are or
 treating me in a different inertial frame by producing waves of motion
 through your lips. How do you prefer?"

 The guy faints


 GIRL FROM DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:

 "Kissing is fine. YOu can kiss me provided you satisfy the following
 conditions.

 Nessary conditions: You should be close to me by a distance delta where
 delta is greater than zero and the limit for delta tends to zero and you
 satisfy the closure property.

 Sufficient conditions:You should have lips.Where the number of lips is
 neither more than two nor less than two. You can also kiss by defining
 your hand to be me if and only if you satisfy the above conditions.

 The guy goes mad.


 GIRL FORM ECOLOGICAL SCIENCES:

 "Oh Kissing, that is interesting phenomena that occurs in nature. This is an
 initiaing process for sex not only found in homosapiens but also in all
 heterosapiens, mammals, camels, vertebrates invertebrates and instects.
 Out of 1000 ants observed in a closed laboratory in Zuvinich in Yugoslavia
 90% of them seem to involve in the process of kissing but the subsequence is
 very random with probability 0.672139 that a male ant kiss female
 ant.
 First observe the behaviour of ants and cockroaches under various conditions.
 That will be very interesting . Isn't it.

 The guy has an heart attack.



 GIRL FROM CS(Computer Science):

 "You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume that you know the algorithm for
 that very well. But you have to complete the process within 56.22
 seconds or else connection will be timed out. To optmise the timing lets do
 parallel processing. As we have to discuss about our future and other things,
 let us do the process of discussion foreground and why can't you put the
 process of Kissing background?"

 The guy applies for divorce.



 GIRL FROM ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING:

 "So you would like to kiss me. The process of kissing is an age old
 communication process. The information content of the signal transmitted
 from one pair of lips to the other is more if the probability of the event
 (of kissing) is less. Hence take care. If you want a successful
 communication between us, you should kiss me less often. If the information
 content is to be infinite, you should never kiss me at all!"

 The guy is found hanging from a fan the next day.