Mills & Boon Romance
 
 We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon.
 The warm breeze was full of that earthly, musky scent that only  those
 fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and quiet
 whispering off the leaves in the Weeping Willow overhead added the final
 touch to the most romantic scene.
 
 We lay there, both naked, I knew I had to have her and have her now.
 Without a word being spoken, I managed to move myself to a position of
 dominance.  I could feel instantly that this was what she had been waiting
 for as she frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ.  I moved
 slowly at first, inch by inch, until I will fully inside her.  Then as
 tension rose, we began the ultimate in sex.  Although inexperienced, she
 approached every change of position with enthusiasm, moaning with despair
 every time I withdrew to prevent myself from ending it all too soon.
 
 As sexual tension heightened towards the inevitable Mind-blowing climax,
 it was all I could do to hold out until the moment we had been both
 waiting for was upon us.  As it did we rolled together in the now damp
 grass.  As the last deep orange glow of the long set sun melted into the
 darkness of approaching night, as we lay there still entwined in an
 amorous embrace, I kissed her long and loving and whispered how  good she
 had been, she tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear and whispered: 
 "Baaaaa", then re-joined the flock...
 
 Excerpt from a New Zealand edition of Mills & Boon
 
**************************** 
 
 FARMER
 A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused.  A man comes
 in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on  this beautiful
 day getting drunk?"
 Farmer:  Some things you just can't explain.
 
 Man:  So what happened that's so horrible?
 Farmer:  Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her.  Just as  I got
 the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.
 
 Man:  Ok, but that's not so bad.
 Farmer:  Some things you just can't explain.
 
 Man:  So what happened then?
 Farmer:  I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.
 
 Man:  and then?
 Farmer:  Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her.  Just as I got
 the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.
 
 Man:  So, what did you do then?
 Farmer:  I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the
 right.
 
 Man:  and then?
 Farmer:  Well, I sat back down and began milking her again.  Just as I got
 the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her
 tail.
 
 Man:  So, what did you do?
 Farmer:  Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied
 her tail to the rafter.  At that moment, my pants fell down and my wife
 walked in.....