"Words are few that I have spoken. I could waste a thousand years. Wrapped in sorrow words are token, come inside and catch my tears."
"In my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone too far."
"I really feel that I am losing my best friend, I can't believe this could be the end. It looks as though you're letting go. And if it's real I don't want to know."
CHAPTER 1
"faster than the speed of sound, faster than we thought we'd go, beneath the sound of hope"
---- Smashing Pumpkins, "1979" It started one night while Menti and I were on a routine mission. It was like most others, fix something it the timeline and then leave no trace of what we had just done. It was seamless. Just like it was supposed to occur. That's the way things were and always will be. She hadn't been my first partner nor my closest. But something between she and I just clicked. We were like thinking on the same wavelength. I rather enjoyed our working relationship. Back in our normal lives we both had very similar tastes. One thing that we always kidded on was our love of drawing body art. We both had lived in almost the same period of time except date wise she was a good 7 years older than I (although, i was in fact chronologically 395 years more experienced than her) . We both had loved the short fad of the whole natural body art thing. So we came up with nick names Henna and Mendhi. I decided that Menti sounded like Mendhi so she should be called that. We never went by our assigned code names. It was this inside joke that nobody ever got. I could always sense something wrong with her even before she knew it. That night, I knew something had changed.
We had just been gotten through fixing something with the fabric (of time and space) and something hit me. I stared at the person I had worked with and found something was wrong. It was like I was staring at a stranger and then it dissapeared. I did not mention it because it was too brief. I would notice any change over time and this was a polar opposite. It must just have been me and my waining energy. Being a lens for the multi-verse takes it toll. Especially without the assistance of my "battery pack".
Atma supplied unlimited energy to help me be a lens. Being a lens is much easier to cope with than a lamp. Most species of life use the lamp way of life. You run off your own energy till the light burns out. With a lens, you use the free energy given off everything and focus it's power. But you get a bit worn out from channeling all that power and can get worn out. That's were the "battery pack" comes into play. It recharges you and helps you cope with the stresses of lensdom. My battery happens to be Atma, my sword, guide to the multi-verse and tool. Atma is also a lens, but one that does not have to worry about wear and tear. It has no bodily needs and is free from the stresses of lensdom. It's sole purpose is to guide me and help me perfect my role as a lens. A lens needs to be perfect or it will refract power chaotically . This can be manifested in many different ways. But the end result is the lens being destroyed or at least taking out a few star systems with it. All cases of a lens going awry is because of the lens' will. They were all concious of what they were doing, not wanting to follow the codes set for the good of lens and others. Most were deluded, thinking that they could control chaotic, raw power without consequences to themselves and others. Those individuals needed to be stopped at all costs. The channeled power is greater, but with less control. They then usually fancied themselves gods. Supposedly almighty power and knowledge. The consequences were in a way the unleached power and the corrupting knowledge. Even we lens' being mighty are still mortals and cannot contain the great forces. The power ravages the body and the "infinte knowledge" drives one insane. I know that from experience, even though I am polished lens, great ammounts being channeled through me have brought me to the point of death. As for the insanity part, all of us are a little out there as a result of us being lens'. When the lens get corrupted like this, their "swords" show them they are taking a wrong course and if they do not change are forced to leave them. This is like having a part of them removed. It leaves the lens without the stability and direction that they need. Most fall away from their lens status because of the difficulty without having a "battery pack". The determined ones stay with it and find some way of hanging on. Those are the troubled ones.
The whole goal of a lens is to be shaped perfectly and eventually living a life without the aid of a sword. This training period can last any where from 2500 to 9500 years. After that the lens will be on it's own and capable of taking care of itself. This point brings satisfaction with one's life and the realization for the need of purpose of mortality. They willing let themselves age and eventually die all while still being a lens. I cannot see why they do that but someday I will be at that point and make my choice then. Right now, I am content to be a lens that helps repair things that need fixing in all the multi-verse. According to my chronometer i am 2731. I look 18 but that is because I "stopped the clock" at that point. One needs to figure out how to do that quick or it will be a very short learning experience. I knew one guy who finally learned how to do it when he was 76! Actually any age is good because people usually don't really get to see the "real" us because of our mental disguises. The guy could have been 113 and could have done okay because he was a lens. Lens' never run out of energy to use because we don't run on our own!!
Mendhi was a young 2336. She never acted her age, but neither did I! I was still 18 and she was 23 (you might say age discrepency because I said she was 7 years older than I but she "stopped the clock" at age 23 ). As old as we were we found that one of the ways to keep sane was to be childlike. I had learned this long ago, even before I joined the Prismatic Army. I had realized this at a young age and fought to maintain my youthfulness. I would look 18 till I restarted the clock again but it was the state of mind that mattered the most. The image I had seen of Mendhi seemed stern and grave. This was not like the Mendhi I knew. Her demeanor was that of an old person that was in need of a good laugh. Again I dimissed it as the side effect of my waining strength. We finished the job and packed up our supplies and the process for the transportation back to axis. I had left Atma in the care of a trusted individual who had many times been my partner. I was not used to being without Atma but I knew it was for my own strengthening. On my right arm I willed the consol pad to come up out of the mental image I was projecting. I knew the coordinates for axis by heart. It was not easy to forget. 0-0-0-0-0-0 (the order of the coordinates go like this: degree of x-sphere, point of x, degree of y-sphere, point of y, time and dimention). Axis got it's name by being the axis of time and space. We had built our base there because not only because it was not occupied but also of the accessibility to those traveling.
I stared at her as she was still putting our equipment containers in their rightful spot to prepare for transport. No sign of that stranger I had seen earlier. On my arm consul, I switched over to oral commands. I again gazed her way and she gave me a nod of approval. "Begin transport sequence", I said. A flicker of light briefly lit the void.
Modern technology is wonderful. It makes life a lot more convenient. Without the standard issue transportation devices, life would be difficult. We have to focus on the exact place and time then proceed to bend time and space. A small fold appears and we have to rush right into it because they do not last long. The results are rather unpredictable. For instance, one time Mendhi and I decided to try this method for a trip back to her house. After going through the fold we ended up in her bathroom shower while her brother was occupying the toilet. That was a very peculiar situation. Since then I have put my faith in the transportation device! ********************************************************************************************
CHAPTER 2
"time is never time at all. you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth. and our lives are forever changed. we will never be the same. the more you change the less you feel "
----Smashing Pumpkins, "Tonight Tonight" We had arrived in the briefing room at axis. It was a brightly lit room that all of us on assignments were familiar with. I must have been in this room thousands of times before. With every mission, debriefing must take place. Great successes and failures, this room has seen them all. This was the room that I first experienced death in. A fallen comrade had laid bleeding on the with his head decapitated. He was Mendhi's good friend and mentor. Ace was the one that found Mendhi and gave her the life of the lens. She had been utterly crushed. Death is not something that we had seen up close and personal. A great enemy had somehow infiltrated axis and staged and attack. The fatal blow was meant for Mendhi but Ace had taken it for her. This event took place nearly 455 years ago (under the induced artificial time). They say time heals wounds but I'd say that the crack in the lens is as fresh as ever. I could see the hurt in her eyes. She had lost a piece of herself that day. Everyone did. Our innocence was chipped away a little that day. It's a sad process that affects all creatures. I had turned back my attention to the present. We sat and waited a few minutes till a voice was heard. “Just a moment agents, I am having a malfunction with my transporter*E a voice said in our minds. The rarely used door opened and in came the high officer. He was a rather young man of 782 years of age. Appearance wise he was in his 30’s. Rank in the Prismatic Army has nothing to do with seniority but with ability. Some are powerful fighters and are soldiers, some are thinkers and strategiests and have command positions. All new recruits start out as soldiers and then it is determined where they will go. It really does not matter since we are all equal. “Sub Commander Ka....",the new brass said as he was interupted. “Please, call me Henna", I stated. “Okay, Henna. Officer Menti and you have completed the mission. I trust it was a success?", he said. “Completly, High Officer Kelvin", Mendhi responded. “How are you today High Officer Kelvin?",I asked. “Oh, okay. I am not sure why my transporter malfunctioned but other than that, fine. I have to see someone who can fix this", replied Kelvin. “I might be able to fix. After all, I helped make it. Mendhi, could you please unload the equipment to storage, I am going to help the High Officer", I said. “Will do!",Mendhi answered.
******************* I still look back at what had happened that day. Henna was so blind it was right in front of her face. My sugar coating was so sickenly sweet that it gags me to think on how I behaved. My real interior had came through when we fixing the tear. I was supprised she did not confront me about what she had seen. I had felt her mind and she was not suspicious. I did not dare to intrude more or she would have dectected me probing her mind. She had trusted me that much. Up until that week I was trustworthy. So naive, and innocent. All those years I had fatthfully served our cause and then the realization came. I was so blind to the problems facing real people. We all were. I now see the error of our ways. That morning we had been out to fix a tear in the space/time fabric. As I had gazed into the tear, I noticed that I could see glimpses of other places. Scenes of bloody conflicts, people sufffering from a terrible diseasse and one of an orphaned child standing over the corpse of it's mother came into view. I nearly broke down and cried from the images I saw. These were real people, maybe distant but their pain still echoed. The images were silent but I could hear their cries in my mind. Henna was busy working away. How could she have sone that? She had seen the same things as I, but she some how blocked them out. She was just like the rest of them, ignoring the real problems of the muti-verse and fixing it so it would not collapse. What use was a muti-verse that was full of fear and pain. Was it preserved only to continue the pain? I had a realtivly life free of pain, but even we were affected sometimes. It was then I decided to put on the facade of being one of them. I could not let them know what I had in mind if I wanted to acomplish anything. I would gather support from other members of the Prismatics and help lead a glorious revolution to help the unfortunates. This was my turning point. This was my start down the road toward my enlightenment. I then had focus my attention back to the ending task and closed my mind to thinking. I had not wanted to arrouse Henna's suspisions any more than when I was thinking. Henna might have been unwilling to acknowledge my mind and that what probably blinded her. I should have been more careful with my thoughts, good thing she was confused. I had mentally put back on my girlish sweetness and I gave her a nod that we should go back to axis.
The next time I had time to think was when I was alone because Henna was helping High Officer Kelvin. I did not exit the room immediately. I was supposed to go to storage and put the eqipment away. I looked around the room. It had an pure white alabaster floor. In my mind I could see the pool of blood that at one time stained the floor. It belonged to my giver and mentor, Ace. I had cared.... still care for him deeply. He was almost a second father to me. It was a unique closeness that we shared. Henna had said to me that until she had arrived at axis she had not even met her giver. She had been sent Atma without even meeting him. She had said that Atma came to her and shared the knowledge of what the life of a lens is like and she accepted. It's sad but Atma was more of a mentor than her giver was. I was lucky that Ace had been personally involved in my training. It was not customary to give a pupil such attention since they would be trained at axis. He made me feel connected to my universe, as if I was still apart of it. It was a contrast to the education I got at axis, the feeling of distancing yourself from the real world and those connected to it. We were constantly reminded that we were mortal and that was our tie to the world we came from. That mortal weakness hit home again when Ace was slain. In order to help everyone I had to become so much more. I still am working on this as of now. But then i had realized the need for it. I had to become more, a saviour to those in need of help. Someone for them to venerate and give hope. I will become perfect. After being lost in thought, I went back to going about my assignment. I had thought of that responce I gave to Henna, it sounded way too chipper. At that time I was overdoing it to disguise my motives.
In the equipment storage locker, I had then proceeded to put everything in it's rightful place. That's what the Prismatics were about, having everything in the multi-verse in the right place. The state of it did not matter. As long as it was in the proper place. I had changed that day, definately for the better. I was more open to the cause of the hurt ones. I came upon the realization that mortal suffering cannot be truely eliminated. It needed to end for their own good. I had reflected upon the images of what I had seen. All that chaos and turmoil. Until the day I was perfect and found a way to end the suffering, the only humane thing to do was to end it. That's what I am doing now, even as I am being pursued by the Prismatics. I alleviate the suffering of those in need. It is their nature to cause pain and take in pain. What a waste of a life. Those fools in the army were just prolonging everything. Maybe it was good that Ace died, he gets to have the bliss of non exsistance. All shall worship me either in the void or one day when that strife is gone, I will lead the people properly. Until that day that I am their goddess saviour, the humane euthanization must take place.
******************* That day, that day, that day.
Oh how I was in dismay.
Over that day.
I wanted be free.I wanted to help.
I wanted to make them free.
Going against everything,I had been taught.
To really help all things I had to disregard everything.
--Exert from Officer Menti's Personal Log
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CHAPTER 3
"Although I've said too much, I haven't said enough."
----REM, "Losing My Religion"