By Ketheres Elyion

An alternative ending to The Temptation of Tabris

The chase had ended. Here, in this suitably named place, the game was at a terminus. There would be no second chances for either side. But there were no longer two sides. The one who was both enemy and friend gazed into the eyes of the two beings he most identified with - Rei Ayanami and Shinji Ikari. The final Angel made his final choice, one that would stand until his death.

"Please, destroy me."

The words that followed were for the benefit of the Third Child. Words of explanation that were intended to soften the blow, to show him way it must be this way and no other.

"Thank you Shinji."

Words of gratitude. Words of bitter happiness and resolution. A goodbye.

"My life was meaningful..."

"...because of you."

Shinji's blood froze. His burning cheeks doused by his tears and LCL. His rapid heart beat thundered through his ears. His hands ground the handles of the butterfly grips.

Then slowly, Shinji Ikari released the handles. He sat back in the chair and stared back into the eyes of the enemy.

"No."

Kaoru knew it would be hard to do, but he had not expected Shinji to suddenly grow so hard-hearted. He decided to push harder.

"Kill me. There is no other way. Free yourself from this torment."

"No."

"Protect those you care for, destroy the one that would kill them all!"

"No."

"I'll kill them one by one if you don't kill me!"

The Fifth Child summoned as much strength as he could handle. Terminal Dogma was suddenly subjected to hurricane force winds as geysers of LCL erupted from the cavern's lake. His white hair was thrown about as his eyes shone crimson. But the display was of no use.

"No. Kill them. Kill me. But I won't kill anymore."

Kaoru was horrified. There were only two alternatives - his own death, or his merging with Adam. He could feel his Father's presence nearby, the pull was irresistible - no Angel could deny their progenitor. Time was running short, if he was not killed quickly, he would lose control of himself.

Like the pitiful girl he had met the day before, Koaru could do only one thing - fight desperately a battle that he was losing. He sought the same last resort she had, an attack at the most basic function - the original sin.

"Why didn't you love me?"

Shinji, already weakened by the sudden turn of events, could barely respond.

"What?"

"I love you. You do not reject that. But you do reject me. Why do you accept one thing and not the other? They both are from the same source."

Kaoru - no, Tabris - felt as if he would vomit. The Angels look down on taking a physical body anyway. To enjoy the sensations of that body is unthinkable. To use the shell to connect with other souls was even more heinous - a complete heresy. To cross the line of body and soul was the ultimate evil.

Shinji was equally hurt. The love that had been proclaimed was now retracted. The affection that had come without stipulation now bore a condition. It had become the same as all the other loves he had ever had, each with their reason: for being a son, for being a friend, for being a pilot. The one who had loved him solely because he was himself now placed a limitation, a proviso - do this for me, and I'll care for you.

"I... can't..."

Tabris' nausea increased as he was about to speak his next words.

"Of course you can't love me. You can't even love those who you were made for. You are weak and unfit."

Shinji didn't respond.

"Perhaps instead of killing everyone, I'll just take your place among them. They will be glad to have someone that will do what they want. Not some sniveling worm who can't follow orders."

Shinji hung his head, his mind swirling with guilt and hatred.

"I'll do what you never could. I'll make them happy with me. Happiness you could never give, only take."

Shinji's hands, which had been hanging limply by his sides, clamped around his head. His palms pressed against his forehead.

"I'll also act as am animal like you should, following his blind instincts and lusts. I'll do what you only dreamed of while you hid in a corner in the bathroom."

Shinji's fingertips dug into his scalp through his plug suit gloves.

"Who'll be first? Perhaps we should go in order. The First will be first. I'm much more suited for her than any of you vermin Lillim anyway. You detestable creatures wouldn't know how to treat such a wonderful prize as that little mule. She's two for the price of one you know - neither truly one of us or one of you. Perhaps I'll deal with her twice, just for the sheer symbolism of it."

Shinji couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had heard the twisted jokes of his schoolmates, but this was like listening to a rapist recounting his conquests. The boy spoke as if it had already happened.

"Since you won't be there to stop me, I'll go for your little girl next. I'll have to wait; comatose girls are no fun, there isn't any screaming. But then again, I'm too impatient. That red headed whore won't know what hit her - or should I say, what did her."

Shinji's eyes bulged at the comment. His entire frame tensed as he held back from lashing out at the taunting voice. But the Third Child braced himself.

Kaoru looked at the impassive face of Unit 01. His verbal assaults had produced nothing. Every second he could feel the urging call of Adam. He knew exactly where the First Angel was now and could be there in seconds if he wished. He wanted to die, he needed to die; if there was going to be hope for these creatures, he had to resist. His mind frantically searched for another victim to verbally ravage. His mind raced, unable to find a candidate. Suddenly, he thought of the only one who could make a difference. Had not the whole process been so foul and frightening, Kaoru would have smiled at the new hope he had just found.

"And to top it all off, I'm going to go have some fun at school."

Shinji's mental and physical writhing came to an abrupt end when Kaoru spoke. He raised his head from his hands, looking into the eyes of Koaru through the view screen. He had stopped everything, there was only a dead stillness in him now.

"I'm going to find her and push her in a broom closet somewhere. And I'll do whatever I please with her. No one will stop me."

The EVA's metal-capped teeth ground together, mimicking the motion of the pilot inside.

"I'll grab those two insufferable ponytails like reigns and ride her like the little filly she is."

Several of the metal plates covering the EVA's teeth flew through the air - broken away and propelled by the immense pressure of the grinding action. Beneath, gleaming white incisors could be seen.

"And you want to know why I can, Shinji-kun?"

Koaru could feel the grip of Unit 01 tighten around him. Good.

"Because the hero isn't there to protect her. He wimped out. He decided to stop killing. He decided he would rather have the death of three billion people on his head rather than the death of one."

Shinji's eyes squeezed closed, trying to hold back the swelling anger in his soul.

Koaru went for the kill.

"I don't even have to worry about that dumb jock would-be boyfriend of hers. First of all, he couldn't hurt me if he wanted to. And second of all, a whole man is much better in bed than half of one. Don't you think? By the way, thanks for getting him out of the picture for me."

The final blow. The mind of Shinji Ikari snapped. Unit 01 bellowed loudly, blasting Koaru's face with hot air. As the fingers closed, the thumb pressed against the Angel's head. There was a sickening ripping sound as the head flew free of the body and sailed into the lake of LCL. Inside the entry plug, the pilot screamed.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!!!!"

The EVA raised its right arm high above its head and flung it downward again. The already mangled body of Kaoru Nagisa slammed into the metal deck.

Inside the cockpit, Shinji leaned forward like one would when helping a fallen person off the ground. His demeanor had suddenly changed from rage to helplessness. As the EVA kneeled down, he could see the remains of the one who had loved him so much that he made himself hated to express that love.

Shinji twisted around in the chair, burying his face into its padded back. He slammed his fist against the wall of the plug. Outside, the EVA has pressed its face to the ground sideways. It moved its head back and forth like a cat rubbing against its owner's leg. The blood and gore of the fallen Child was caught up in streaks across the EVA's left cheek. Its gigantic fist pounded the metal deck in impotent fury.

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In the command center, sensors have been restored. The first sight greeting the eyes of the crew was a prone Unit 01, lying face down before the huge cross, slamming its open palm against the deck. With each repetition, the strike lessened in intensity. Gendo Ikari stands.

"I leave this in your hands Major Katsuragi."

As always, there was no hint of emotion - of humanity - in his countenance. He turned and began to walk away from his desk. As he did, an inhuman smile creased his implacable face. His soulless eyes danced with deranged merriment. His reaction deepened and he began to chuckle to himself as the comm link to Unit 01 is restored - his son's pained wailing broadcast through the command center.

"NO! NO! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! COME BACK! PLEASE! PLEASE KOARU! KOARU COME BACK!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!"

Notes: Second one shot, alternate ending to planned ending for "The Temptation of Tabris"

Inspiration: I read a FanFic on the web where Kaoru goads Shinji into killing him by recounting how he had his way with all the EVA girls (even Misato :). Original was meant to be funny (and was to me). (It even had a South Park reference, with Rei switched for Kenny... OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED REI! YOU BASTARDS!) The name of it was Evangelion: Death.

Other inspiration: Self-induced insomnia (if I wasn't manic, I'd always be depressed)

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