Andy had been pacing back and forth in his living room for the better part of an hour.
His features set in determined disbelief. Joe and Mai looked on with deep concern.
“It has to be a mistake!”
“You’re probably right Andy, but ranting about it won’t help you. Terry will be back any
minute now. Why don’t you sit down before you put a hole in your floor.”
Andy whirled around, glaring at Joe. His eyes were as hard as stone. “Would you be
calm if you were me?”
“I don’t know. But I know you would try and calm me down if the situation was
reversed. Should I treat you different?”
Andy stared at him for a few moments. Finally, he sighed and sat in a nearby chair. He
leaned back and closed his eyes, mentally convincing himself that it was all one huge mistake.
Mai bit her lip, not knowing what to say. She was just as confused as Andy, and slightly
scared as well. Mai had seen Andy upset before, but never like this. Her heart ached and she
wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around him and help him to forget, but she wasn’t
sure how he would react to any show of affection at the moment. She opened her mouth to
speak; hoping her words at least might offer some comfort.
“I’m sure Terry is clearing everything up right now Andy.”
He nodded, but wasn’t really listening. Andy bit down a groan as his mind replayed the
events leading to the mess his life had suddenly become.
**
Andy had been sitting at home, reminiscing at some old photos of him, Terry, and their
father. His gaze lingered on Terry, and instinctively pushed back an unwanted thought forming
in his head. These “thoughts” have been annoying him on and off since he and Terry had
reunited after a ten year absence, and he was constantly trying to get rid of them. You just don’t
have those kinds of thoughts about family, especially about your brother.
He started when a knock came at the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone today, and he
was sure no one knew what today was. “Just a minute.” He put the pictures down and went to
answer the door. To his credit, he silenced a groan when he opened the door and found Mai and
Joe both standing there, each bearing a gift. Before Andy could say anything, Mai threw herself
at him.
“Happy birthday Andy!”
“Mai? Joe? What are you two doing here?” Andy was shocked, and more than a little
dismayed.
Joe walked in. “Like we’d really let you get away without celebrating your birthday?
Man, you know better than that.” Andy moaned.
Mai turned to look up at him. “Why didn’t you tell us today was your birthday? I
would’ve baked a cake for you.”
“Maybe he didn’t want to spend it in the ER for food poisoning,” Joe chimed.
WHACK!
Mai glared at Joe, now on the floor thanks to a perfect fan hit. “I don’t recall asking for
your opinion, thank you.”
“Umm, who told you today was my birthday?”
“Terry did.” Mai smiles.
“What?”
Joe gets up, rubbing the back of his head. “He called me up and told me you’d probably
be brooding or something. Said we should come over and make sure you have a good time for a
change.” Looking around, he continues, “I’d say he figured right this time.”
Andy frowned, disturbed by the fact that anybody could know him so well.
*Well,* he thought, *he is your brother. He should know you, after all.* Andy shook his
head and looked at Mai.
“What else did he say?”
“He said he had a package to get, and that he’d meet us here. I think it has something to
do with you.”
“Oh, you could say that.”
All three whirled around to see the new voice. Terry stood in the doorway holding a
medium-sized box. A sly smile played across his lips.
Andy stifled another groan. “You could have warned me, you know.”
“And where’s the fun in that?” Terry’s smile grew. “Besides, in our line of work, you
should expect the unexpected.” Terry walked over to a nearby table and set the box down. Joe
peered in.
“What’s this?”
“Just some stuff dad kept when Andy and I were kids.”
Andy’s eyes widened. He barely remembered his childhood before their father’s death.
Now, Terry had somehow found a box full of those memories. He stared at the box in complete
shock. Terry grinned.
“Surprised?”
“Where…how…”
“I found it a couple of weeks ago. I was hoping you might remember some of it.”
Amazed, Andy looked inside. There were some old toys, pictures, and keepsakes. Andy
looked back at Terry, questioningly.
“Where did you find this?”
Terry shrugged, “Back at our old house. The owners found it in the attic. Since our birth
certificates were in there, they tracked me down and asked if I wanted it. As soon as they told
me what was in it, I knew I had to get it, for your sake if nothing else.” Terry’s expression grew
sad for a moment. He remembered how young Andy was when they had first lost their mother,
then their father. He knew a lot of Andy’s earlier memories had been lost over time, and hoped
that this might bring a few of them back.
Andy knelt down and began sorting through the box. He stopped suddenly as his gaze
rested on a small, purple toy bear.
“I don’t believe it!” He snatched up the stuffed animal, holding it out to get a better look.
“Baya!”
Joe and Mai stared at him, “Baya?”
Andy looked at them before realizing what he had done. His face went bright red, while
behind him Terry started to snicker.
“When Andy first started talking, I decided to teach him all the words I knew. But he
kept saying “baya” instead of “bear”. When mom bought him that for Christmas, he started
shouting “Baya!” I guess she thought he was naming it, and it kind of stuck.” Terry struggled to
keep from laughing out loud.
Joe stared at Andy a full three seconds before erupting into all out hysterics. Mai
covered her mouth, trying unsuccessfully to hide her giggles. Terry was shot with a murderous
look.
“Thanks a lot, big mouth.” He put the toy down with care and proceeded to rummage
through the box. After a moment, Andy picked up an old photograph.
“Terry, is this mom?”
Terry walked over, hand outstretched. Andy relinquished the photo, and he eyed it
carefully. Terry’s features softened as he looked at a beautiful woman in her thirties with long,
blonde hair. He turned back to Andy.
“Yeah, that’s mom alright. Dad said you took after her a lot.” He held the picture next
to Andy, “He was right. You look like her brother now.” Terry hands him back the photo and
searches through the box. “Hey, I think I found them!”
Mai flops down next to Andy. “Found what?”
“Our birth certificates.” Terry holds up two pieces of paper, skimming the documents.
His face darkened. “This can’t be right.”
“What’s up?” Joe asked, kneeling next to Terry.
“I think someone screwed up the information on these.”
Andy had been staring at the picture of his mother, trying to recall her image from his
mind. The tone of Terry’s voice broke through his reverie. He looked up, blinking as his eyes
refocused.
“Is something wrong?”
Terry was silent for a minute. Slowly, he looked at Andy, his eyes unreadable. Without
a sound, he hands the papers to him.
Glancing at the papers, Andy stopped short. His face drew a look of shock even as his
mind rebelled. *This can’t be right.* Andy held his birth certificate and reread the information,
unaware of giving voice to the words before him.
“Father unknown.”
**
It was six o-clock that evening when Andy heard the door open. Fear and exhaustion
prevented him from asking the obvious. He didn’t have to, as Mai asked for him.
“What happened?”
Terry said nothing. He walked over and sat down at the table opposite Andy. He held a
manilla folder, which he now emptied. A dozen papers slipped out and fell uncerimoniously onto
the table.
“Andy.”
Andy opened his eyes and looked at Terry. It seemed he had aged ten years in the last
few hours. He waited for Terry to continue.
Terry reached over and spread the papers out on the table. Andy leaned forward for a
better view. Before him lay a death certificate, a marriage license, their birth certificates, and
some adoption papers.
Andy looked back at Terry for several minutes. His face was blank; his eyes dull and
empty. His voice held no emotion when he finally spoke.
“It wasn’t a mistake.”
Terry winced. He had braced himself earlier, expecting Andy to adamantly deny the
whole thing. He was even prepared for him to go off into a blind rage. But the lifelessness and
utter despair emanating from his “brother” caught Terry completely offguard. He chose his
words carefully, ignoring the pain in his own heart.
“From what these papers say, my birth mother died during childbirth. I’d then guess that
dad met “mom” a year later, since I can recall her in my earliest memories. She was probably
carrying you at the time. According to the date on the license, they married just after you were
born. After that, dad adopted you, legally giving you his name.
Andy stared at the papers and nodded. “Basically, it means we’re not related, right?” He
didn’t need an answer, as everyone was at a loss for words.
Andy got up and took a few steps. His hand came to rest on a large, glass cabinet
housing several trophies from various tournaments. Without thought or emotion, Andy turned
and rammed his right fist through the glass. He felt no pain as blood began to drip from his
knuckles. He stayed that way until his vision started to darken. He heard Terry’s voice, but the
words didn’t register. His vision grew darker and he felt an extreme sense of vertigo.
In a moment, Andy felt nothing at all.
**
Andy woke up, confused and disoriented. He looked around, trying to familiarize
himself with his surroundings. It took him awhile to realize that he was in his own bedroom.
*How did I get here?* He shook his head before he noticed Terry sleeping in a chair not too far
away. *What’s Terry doing here? He can’t be comfortable like that.* Andy took the blanket he
was under and covered Terry with it. He then headed for the living room.
*I wonder what happened?* Andy glanced at a clock reading eleven fifty-three a.m.
*All I remember is me looking at some old pictures. Maybe I fell asleep, but for that long? And
how did Terry get here?*
Andy stopped when he saw the mess of papers on his table. *What’s this?* He picked
up some of the papers and began reading.
Suddenly, the events of yesterday came rushing back into his mind. The emotions he
couldn’t feel before washed over him in great, gut-wrenching waves. Anger. Rage. Shock.
Hopelessness. Despair. He couldn’t contain them. A strangled sob escaped his lips as Andy fell
to his knees, the papers slipping from view. He clutched his stomach as he tried to breathe past
the constriction building in his chest. Time and space lost all meaning through the deluge of
tears spilling from his eyes.
Arms wrapped around him, and Andy heard Terry’s voice somewhere beyond the pain, a
beacon amidst his growing despair.
“It’s okay Andy, I’m right here. It’s alright.”
Andy turned and clung tightly onto Terry as sobs wracked his body. Terry held him,
offering comfort and words of solace, until the sobs faded into small, gasping cries.
Terry held the young man crying in his arms as he tried to calm him down. A thought
formed in his mind, and he frantically pushed it away. Now was not the time to wrestle with
those demons. Gently, Terry lifted Andy’s chin, raising his face to meet his own.
“Do you remember what happened?”
Andy moaned softly, lowering his eyes. He was unable to look Terry in the face, though
all he’d see would be the tremendous amounts of love and concern Terry had for him.
Sighing, Terry continued. “Do you remember punching your fist through your cabinet, or
blacking out after that?”
At this Andy’s eyes flew open. He stared down, noting for the first time the bandage
wrapped around his right hand. He looked back up.
“I blacked out?”
“Yes, and you shouldn’t be walking around now.” With little effort Terry picked him up,
causing Andy to grab his neck for fear of falling. “Don’t worry, I got you. I’m just taking you
back to bed. You’ve been out for awhile.”
Terry carried him back to his room, silently cursing himself for letting Andy get up like
that. He meant to talk to him when they first woke up, since the emotional rollercoaster had
taken their toll on him as well. Exhausted, Terry had fell asleep in a chair, not wanting to leave
Andy alone. He thought he would be able to wake up before he did, but his body decided to take
what rest it could get, preparing for the drama ahead.
When Terry had reached the bed, Andy shifted. The intimate way Terry held him was
beginning to make him uncomfortable, though he’d never admit it.
“I think I can handle it from here, thank you.”
Slowly, Terry set him down, only to snatch him up again when Andy faltered. “Just let
me take care of it, okay?” Terry set him down on the bed, covering him with the blanket from
earlier.
Andy looked at him, “What happened to Mai and Joe?”
“After you blacked out I carried you up here. Joe called a doctor while Mai kind of
freaked. The doc said it was a combination of stress and shock, plus the fact that we didn’t
know if you had eaten anything before hand.” Terry looked at him inquisitively.
“I didn’t. What then?”
“He said to let you rest. I thought it would be better if I talked to you first. Mai didn’t
like it, but we convinced her that you wouldn’t be in any shape to talk to her. Joe took her home
after I promised to call them as soon as you woke up.”
Andy shook his head. “Don’t. I’m not up to talking to them just yet. I don’t feel like
talking to anyone right now.”
Terry looked away to hide the pain in his eyes. “Including me. I understand.” He got up
to leave.
“Wait,” Andy’s words were barely a whisper, “don’t go. Please.”
The pain in his voice stabbed Terry through the heart. He sat next to Andy and held him,
unaware of having moved there in the first place. Tears welled in his eyes.
Andy leaned against his chest. “I’m sorry. This must be hard for you too.”
Terry chuckled as a single tear slid down his cheek. “I’m more worried about you.” He
didn’t notice Andy staring at him.
“And I suppose you’re going to tell me that you got something in your eye?” Andy
reached up to wipe the tear away. His fingers brushed past Terry’s lips. Andy’s breath caught
when he felt Terry’s fingers curl around his hand. His heart hammered in his chest, and he was
sure Terry could hear it.
“No, I don’t have anything in my eyes.” He grasped Andy’s hand, not wanting to let go.
Soon, the thoughts he’d been fighting began to form in his mind. This time, Terry didn’t try to
push them away, as they mingled with a forbidden desire hidden deep inside his soul. He looked
at Andy as all the thoughts and desires churning in his head formed one final statement.
*He’s not your brother.*
Terry gasped as the consequences and possibilities of this hit him full force.
“Are you okay Terry?”
He gazed at Andy, a strange expression on his face. With a groan, Terry pushed himself
away and began pacing around the bed.
“What is it Terry? What’s wrong?”
He almost laughed. *Isn’t it obvious?* Terry was caught in a whirlwind of emotion and
desire. He wanted to shout, scream, run, anything but explain the feelings he’d been fighting for
so long. *Can’t you see what’s wrong?* A war raged inside him. Terry stood still for several
moments. He exhaled loudly and turned to look Andy in his eyes.
Andy bit his lower lip. He’d been silent as he watched Terry fighting some inner
conflict. When Terry finally looked at him, he felt a curious mix of fear and anticipation. His
body leaned forward of its own accord, a surge of hope sparked as he saw a strange desire creep
into Terry’s eyes. His voice was scarcely audible as he spoke one word.
“Terry.”
With a groan, Terry reached over and pulled Andy to him. Andy gasped as Terry’s
mouth descended on his, kissing him savagely. His shock lasted for less than a second before
Andy started kissing him back with the same fierce intensity. His arms came round his neck as
Terry’s hand slid down the length of his back. They explored each other’s mouths, tasting,
teasing with their tongues. They stayed that way until Andy broke the kiss, turning his head
sharply as he gasped for air.
The movement brought Terry back to reality. “Oh god.” He jerked himself away from
Andy, grabbing his jacket. He was almost out the bedroom when Andy gripped his arm.
“Terry…” he was cut off.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. I should probably go.” Terry pulled himself free
and turned to leave.
“Terry wait!”
He didn’t answer. Andy followed him, fear shooting through him as he watched Terry
heading for the door. As Terry’s hand turned the knob, he screamed in utter despair.
“Why are you running away when you feel the same way I do!”
Terry whirled, shocked at the outburst. He stared at Andy, wondering if his own
imagination had taken flight with his senses in tow.
Andy stood trembling. *Shitshitshitshitshit.* He hadn’t planned on a confession, but
now it hung there, an almost tangible entity floating in the air. Andy lowered his head, unable to
hold Terry’s gaze.
Terry’s hand lifted slowly from the knob. He wasn’t sure, and yet…
Andy felt Terry’s eyes on him. *Now what?*
Terry walked over to Andy, lifting his face in his hands.
“Look at me Andy.”
He shook his head, “I can’t.”
“Why not?” He didn’t answer. “Look at me, or I walk.”
A surge of dread washed over him. He could hardly breathe. He heard a voice in his
head. *Now or never.* Cautiously, Andy lifted his eyes.
It was all there, the desires, the pain, the fear of anyone ever knowing. Terry saw all the
emotions he’d struggled with over the past few years mirrored in those eyes. As he watched,
tears formed and slipped down the sides of the face in his hands, catching on his fingers.
“How long?”
Pause. “For awhile now, I guess.” Andy’s voice shook, and he tried to steady it. “I was
always fighting it. I mean, you’re not supposed to feel this way about your brother. But
sometimes I couldn’t stop it. I…” Andy faltered, lowering his eyes. He raised them back when
he heard Terry laugh. He didn’t move when he felt Terry’s breath in his ear, whispering softly.
“But we’re not brothers.”
Andy said nothing. He watched as Terry’s expression changed to one of intense longing.
He took a step forward, sighing as he felt arms coming around his waist, pulling him to the floor.
They sank to their knees, oblivious to everything else. In that sunlit room, they finally gave
themselves over to their secret passions, now not quite as forbidden as they once seemed.