Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues

Volume 1 - Trapped

Chapter 5 - Meet Mr. and Mrs. Saotome.

By: Lord Archive

This chapter contains a couple sexual references and innuendoes, but 
nothing specific. It might be considered Lemon-Scented by some people.

Legal Babble: Characters are own and copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi,
Viz. Video, Shonen Sunday, ect... and are used without permission. I am
only borrowing them. I'll return them... eventually.

This chapter has a couple footnotes. (#) marks where a footnote occurs.
Footnotes are explained in the Author's Notes.

-------------------------------------------------

Ranma and Nabiki made their way into the dojo. It was packed. There were
so many people there, that some of the guests could not get seats. Ranma
wondered how some of them even got there. He didn't remember greeting
Pantyhose Tarou nor the Gambler King at the gate. He didn't even 
remember inviting them. Ranma nervously made his way up to the minister. 
He saw that Nabiki was greeting some of the guests, the ones most likely 
to cause trouble. She handed each of them a card. Each of the recipients
looked rather upset as they read the cards, as each card offered a
personalized threat of what would happen if they stopped the wedding.
After the final card was delivered, Nabiki signaled Genma to start
playing the wedding march on the rented sound system.

Ranma thought,  He took a deep breath.  (1)

The guests turned to see the door to the dojo open. Standing at the door
were Mousse and Akari, who started to walk towards him. Ryoga and Ukyou
followed them. Finally, Soun and Akane walked down the isle. 

Ranma's eyes lost focus on everything but Akane.  was
the only coherent thought he had during the time it took Akane to walk
across the dojo. He barely registered the minister's words at the start
of the ceremony.

The minister began, "Who is it that gives away the bride?"

Soun bowed slightly. His voice was unusually calm, "I do."

The minister continued, "We are gathered here today, to witness this man
and this woman join in the bonds of holy matrimony. Brought together by
kami, love, and... an arrangement by meddling fathers?"

Ranma registered this phrase and looked at the minister with 
bewilderment. Akane giggled and whispered to Ranma, "Nabiki added some
special touches."

Ranma sighed and attempted to regain control and have a 'soul of ice.'

Akane was thankful that Nabiki added those special touches. Akane felt
that was just what she needed something to help keep her from becoming
too nervous and make some kind of mistake.

The minister shook his head and said, "Let no man..."

A man interrupted, "I am Draco, a prince of an ancient kingdom, and I
have come to wed this woman of great power."  He finished his statement
by pointing at Akane, and the guests gasped in shock. Ranma responded
with chi blast that sent Draco out the door and knocked him out cold.

Minister continued nervously, "...woman..."

A woman's voice interrupted, "I can not allow this wedding to take 
place, for I am promised to Ranma by an arrangement made by my father 
and Saotome Genma."

To which Genma big sweats while Ranma, Akane, and many of the guests
scowled at him. Nodoka touched the hilt of her katana. 

Ukyou said angrily, "Sit down, shut up, and join the Ranma ex-fiancee
club. You're member number 4 or 5."

Woman asked, "And you are?"

Ukyou replied, "Ukyou, member number 2, I think."

Woman asked, "The engagement is off?"

Ranma intoned, "Yes."

Woman sighed and said, "Oh good. I didn't want to get married anyway."
She turned and walked off.

The minister, becoming very nervous, squeaked, "...beast..."

A dragon stuck his head and some of his neck through the door frame and
said, "Ah, there is a lot of fresh meat here." The guests shook in
fright.

Before the dragon could strike, a group of old bald guys shouted, "Get
it. It's a dragon with hair." 

The dragon looked at the old men and screeched, "Oh no! Not them." The
dragon flew off, chased by the bald men. Some of the late arrivals sat
down at the seats the old men previously sat at. (2)

The minister, with huge sweat-drops on his head, gasped, "...demon..."

A monstrous black demon climbed out of a hole that opened in the middle
of the dojo and yelled, "Your souls shall be mine!"

Kuno attacked it with a glowing sword that formed in his hand at the
appearance of the demon, and announced, "By honor and by rights, I, Kuno
Tatewaki, must uphold the family duty to cleanse this world of all
demons." That said, Kuno word split the demon into two pieces. The demon
and sword disappeared. Everyone stared at him in shock.

The minister was very pale and muttered, "...nor any other living..."

A small girl bounded into the dojo and shouted, "Marie, give Marie back
to Azusa!" She pulled on Ranma's suit and then noticed Ryoga and
screeched, "Charlotte!" Ryoga booted Azusa out of the dojo.

Minister was white as a ghost and stammered, "...or unliving being..."

A gray humanoid phantom creature appeared next to Ranma, and Gosunkugi
whispered, "Kill him." Akane saw it and punched at the phantom but
screamed in pain as she connected. Gosunkugi, horrified at her scream,
dispelled his first true attempt at magic.

Most of the guests were in state of shock and bewilderment. Ranma held
Akane's hand, but she took it away and said, "I'm fine." She rubbed her
hand and turned to the minister and said, "You may continue."

"...put asunder the bonds that tie these two together," the minister
continued as he thought,  He
proceeded to forget what just happened and said, "Saotome Ranma, do you
take Tendo Akane to be your lawfully wedded wife. Through sickness and 
in health, for richer or for poorer, to save her from KIDNAPPINGS?... 
ahh, until death do you part?"

"I do," Ranma replied with a grin.

Ranma's grin quickly turned into a look of shock and anger when he heard
Ryoga say "I do" from behind him. He turned and scowled at Ryoga, as
Akane and Akari gave Ryoga the evil eye. The guests that had not lost
their mind yet looked either disgusted, angry, or confused. 

Ryoga shrank back, meekly saying, "Gomen nasai, very sorry."

The poor minister wanted to get this over with quickly so he could get 
to the sake. So, he resumed the ceremony before everyone could settle 
back down. 

The minister turned to Akane and said, "Tendo Akane, do you take Saotome
Ranma to be your lawfully wedded husband. Through sickness and in heath,
for richer and for poorer, as a man and... a... WOMAN?... eh... until
death do you part?"

Akane giggled, "I do."

Akane saw Ranma scowl at Nabiki. The guests were completely confused,
numb and/or shocked at proceedings. If anyone had looked at Ukyou, they
would notice that she mouthed an, "I do".

The minister thought, 
He then said, "It is time to present the rings."

Ryoga got the ring from Mousse and then handed it to Ranma, and Ukyou
took the ring from Akari and handed it to Akane. Ranma and Akane held 
out the rings.

Minister spoke, "May the powers that be bless these symbols of the love
these two share, forever showing the bond between them." The minister
turned toward Ranma and said, "Place the ring on her finger and repeat
after me. With this ring I thee wed."

Ranma, finally gaining the 'soul of ice,' responded, "With this ring, I
thee wed."

The minister continued, "To love, to cherish, and to encourage without
insult, from this day forth."

"To love, to cherish, and to encourage without insult, from this day
forth." Ranma rather meekly said with the 'without insult' part as he
gently pushed the ring up Akane's finger.

Minister thought,  The minister
turned toward Akane and said, "Place the ring on his finger and repeat
after me. With this ring I thee wed."

Akane's voice cracked as she said, "With this ring I thee wed."

"To love, to honor, and to listen to him before bludgeoning, from this
day forth," continued the minister.

"To love, to honor, and to listen to him before bludgeoning, from this
day forth," Akane said with a similar note of meekness with her part of
the changed vow.
 
Minister thought,  He then said,
"If there is any one here who has reason for these two people not to be
wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." The minister looked up from
the reading the customized wedding vows. He emitted an, "Eep," as he
noticed Ranma glowing with a battle aura with a look that said, "You
speak, you die." Akane didn't notice as she cast a similar gaze to the
guests that said, "Don't you dare." The guests were either confused,
scared, or unmoved.

The minister said nervously, "Ahh, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride."

Ranma leaned forward and kissed Akane for what seemed an eternity. 

Minister finished, "It is my, ahh, pleasure to present Mr. and Mrs.
Saotome. All right, where is the sake? I need a drink." Those guests 
that retained some of their mind cheered.

Ranma and Akane finally ended their kiss.  Ranma and Akane
thought in unison as they stared into each other's face.

Nabiki cheered, "All right, Sis! Now hold that pose. We need to get a 
lot of wedding photos."

With the ceremony over, the guests began to recover from the unusual
proceedings. Ranma and Akane posed for several photos with and without
the other members of the bridal party and/or guests as various family 
and friends burned through rolls of film.

Nabiki asked, "All right let's get a couple photos of you two kissing."

They started to kiss again. Nabiki took only a couple photos before she
pulled out a water gun from hiding and shot Ranma in the back of the
head. Several guests were shocked to see Ranma shrink and turn into a
girl. Many of them just lost their mind completely. Ranma apparently did
not notice until she heard a commotion from the guests.


Akane's grandmother screeched, "What is going on here?"

Various students of Furinkan High cheered.

Kodachi stammered, "Where did Ranma go?"

Kuno replied, "The pig-tailed girl is the vile deceiver, Saotome Ranma."

Kodachi asked in shock, "What? How can this be?"

Mikado also in shock asked, "You don't mean that she is really a guy?"

Kuno replied to Mikado, "That is precisely what the great Kuno Tatewaki
means."

"Eh... Excuse me." A green hue covered Mikado's face, as he got up and 
ran out the dojo.

Minister shouted, "Kami-sama! Where is that sake!?"

Akane's grandfather said, "Let me join you." A number of guests, some of
whom don't drink, nodded in agreement to join in.


Ranma broke off from his kiss as he suddenly realized he was now a she.
She felt the water in her hair and turned to see that Nabiki was the
culprit.

Ranma screamed, "What ya do that for!?" She moved toward Nabiki, but was
held back by her collar by Akane.

Akane said, "Relax Ranma. It wouldn't hurt to get a couple photos of
you in that form."

Ranma tried to relax a bit, for Akane, and started to straighten out her
suit.  She noticed that her wedding ring no longer fit, and put it in 
her pocket. Akane noticed that several of the guests looked at Ranma in 
shock and horror. 

Akane said nervously, "Oh... Um... This is still Ranma. He was cursed in
China to turn into a girl when splashed with cold water. He'll turn back
with hot water." This relaxed some of the guests, but Akane could tell
they were very uneasy.

Ranma said, "We'll get someone to explain this. Can we get the photos
done with?"

Several more photos were taken, some with the wedding party. Then 
another spray of water came from the guests. This time it hit Ryoga. 
Everyone gasped in amazement either at the best man made best pig or the 
person with the water gun.

Akane gasped, "Kasumi!?"

Kasumi said meekly, "Gomen, I just wanted to do that for such a long
time."

Ranma asked, "Why didn't you?"

Kasumi replied, "I promised father I wouldn't tell."

Soun cried, "She's going to kill me!"

Akane said in an upset tone, "Was I the only one who didn't know? Why
didn't someone tell me?"

Kasumi answered, "Because father saw him as a means to see how much 
Ranma cared for you. If Ranma was jealous of P-Chan, all was well. If 
not, he had to come up with a plan to get you together again. I did not 
agree with it, but I had promised."

Akari thought, 

Nodoka thought, 

Akane stared evilly at her father, but eased up at Ranma's touch.

Ranma said, "We should take some pictures with P-Chan." She picked up
P-Chan and handed him to Akane and posed for a couple more shots. Ranma
then asked, "Have enough pictures yet?"

Nabiki replied, "I guess."

Gosunkugi asked, "Um, could I get one of you two kissing... as you are
now?"

Ranma and Akane glared at him.

"Come on it'll be the last photo," Nabiki encouraged. 

Akane gave in and said, "I guess."

Ranma thought, 

Ranma kissed Akane once again, but for the first time, starting it as a
girl. She felt a little self-conscious at first but soon went into a
passionate kiss as she noticed Akane had no apprehensions about it.

Ranma asked, "You really don't mind the curse, do you?"

Akane whispered, "Nope. I fell in love with you, not your body. Besides,
it means we can have lots more fun later." She gave him a wink.

Ranma stood there slack jawed.

Akane asked, "Nabiki, why don't you start explaining... about this."

---------

Nabiki began to tell the tale of how Ranma got cursed, but to Ranma's 
and Akane's displeasure several of the guests proceeded to relate 
several of the events of the past year and a half. Most of the guests 
remained behind to hear about the interesting life they led. Ranma and 
Akane were led to the dining room of the Tendo home. Akari took Ryoga to 
the bath so he could change back. Ranma got a teakettle and had changed 
back. The newlyweds watched Kasumi set up a table with food for the 
reception.

Tables and chairs had been set up outside. All those involved in
preparing the wedding thanked to the powers that be for the unusually 
warm and pleasant weather.

Ranma said, "This day seems so perfect."

Akane smiled, "Yes, it seems like some higher being planned on us being 
married today."

"Yeah, well I thought the wedding would have more problems, especially
with so many uninvited guests."

"More problems?" Akane screeched.

"Yeah. Everything that showed up only lasted a couple seconds."

"Anything worse and the wedding might have been stopped," she said with 
a tinge of anger.

"Maybe I just wanted to protect Tendo Akane a bit more. After all I've
got a lifetime to protect Saotome Akane," he said with a grin.

Akane, moved by Ranma's words, gave him that smile that always melted 
his heart and she started to kiss him passionately.

They broke it off when they heard someone clear their throat. Cologne 
and Shampoo stood before them. 

Cologne said, "Congratulations Akane, you've won a very difficult battle 
for Ranma's heart."

"Um, thanks." she replied.

"For this victory, I feel you have earned the right to be an honorary
member of the Amazon tribe."

Shampoo screamed, "NO! Akane deserve no such honor. Great-grandmother
only make violent girl Amazon to save face."

Cologne scowled at Shampoo and said, "Now, calm down granddaughter, you
know Akane has shown Amazon spirit in the past. It is only fitting that
the one who married Ranma be an Amazon if not blood, then in name."

Shampoo only nodded her head in reply. Cologne turned to Akane and
said, "Welcome to the Amazon tribe, Akane."

Akane stuttered, "I... I... don't know what to say."

Ranma asked, "This isn't going to come back and haunt us. Will it?"

Cologne responded, "The only thing that will be asked of Akane is that
she tries to live by our laws and if the Amazon tribe is in trouble, she
will come and help."

Akane replied, "I don't know about following the laws, but if you need
help, I'll be there."

Ranma corrected, "No. We'll be there."

Cologne smiled a devilish grin and said, "That is all I could really ask
for. Thank you." She bowed to the couple.

Shampoo asked, "How? How did violent girl steal husband's heart? Shampoo 
love Ranma. Shampoo make better wife than violent girl. Why Ranma marry
violent girl and not Shampoo?"

Akane was at loss of words.

Ranma answered, "Shampoo, the reason why I married Akane is because I...
love her."

Shampoo retorted, "But Ranma love Shampoo!"

Ranma responded, "I don't love you. I like you as a friend, but I do not
love you. Do you understand?"

Shampoo said sheepishly, "No. Shampoo no understand, but will accept. If
Ranma love pervert girl more than Shampoo... Ranma should have pervert girl."

Akane said, "Shampoo... ahh... I would like us all to be friends."

Shampoo replied, "Shampoo no know if can be friends.... Shampoo will 
try. Congratulations, Shampoo hope Ranma and Akane happy."

"Thanks," responded the newlyweds.

Shampoo then added, "But if no make Ranma happy, Shampoo will make
pervert girl pay!"

Akane promised, "I'll do my best to make him happy. You have my word on
that."

"Ranma, one more thing. Can I see your wedding ring?" Cologne asked.

"Why?" Ranma asked suspiciously.

"I brought with me a magic oil that will allow it to resize when you 
switch forms."

"Um, okay." Ranma wasn't sure to trust Cologne, but Mousse said they 
couldn't do anything anymore. 

Ranma handed Cologne the ring, and she put it inside a flask. She then 
shook it. After that, she carefully removed the ring and cleaned it. 
Cologne then handed the ring back to Ranma. Akane took the ring and 
slipped it back onto Ranma's finger.

"Thanks, hopefully it'll work," Ranma said.

"Your welcome," Cologne replied.

Cologne and Shampoo bowed to the couple and returned to the dojo. 

A moment later, Ranma's grandparents arrived, followed by Nodoka with 
her hand on her katana.

Ranma's grandfather said nervously, "Ah... Congratulations. Wish we 
could stay longer, but we, ah, need to be somewhere else." He cast a 
worried glance toward Nodoka.

Ranma's grandmother bowed and said, "Congratulation. I wish you all the 
best. I would like you to consider teaching your children in the family 
art."

Nodoka replied, "They will teach them the family art of Anything Goes
Martial Arts."

Ranma nodded and said, "Yes."

Nodoka said, "It is too bad you have to leave, NOW. Let me show you the
way out."

Ranma's grandparents nervously nodded and left with Nodoka.

Akane asked, "What was that about?"

Ranma nervously said, "Um... They practice the art of, um... thievery."

Akane rolled her eyes and said, "Oh great."

---------------------------------------------

Akari sat in the changing room of the bath and waited for Ryoga to 
finish getting dress. He finally finished with the exception of the bow 
tie.

Akari demanded, "Now would you care to explain why you said 'I do' 
during the wedding?"

Ryoga stuttered, "It's, ah, well, ah... I..."

Akari chided, "You love her, don't you?"

Ryoga could only nod, while Akari fumed.

Ryoga said, "I'm sorry. I haven't gotten over how I feel about her. I
want to put that behind me, but I can't. Part of me will always want to
be with her. But I want to be with you now. Please forgive me."

Akari asked, "You're not using me to try and forget her, are you?"

Ryoga replied, "No. I wouldn't do that. When you came into my life I
still thought I had a chance with Akane. I was torn between you two, I
couldn't decide. I felt drawn to you because you accepted me for who I
was, curses and all. Because of you, I could finally realize that Ranma
and Akane belong together."

"Are you with me only because I accept you as a pig?" she questioned.

"No. I'm with you because you're kind, caring, nice, cute, and
understanding. I want us to be together. Please forgive me."

"I... I forgive you. Now let's return go back, my cute little pig." she
said with a grin to the last couple words, but Ryoga wondered if all was
truly forgiven.

-------------------------------------------

Ukyou ran out of the dojo, followed by Konatsu. They ran past Ranma and
Akane and went upstairs. Ukyou went into Nabiki's room and locked the
door behind her.

Konatsu asked, "Ukyou are you all right?"

Ukyou replied, "No. I can't take much more of this. I... I want to go
home."

"Okay, we'll go home now."

Ukyou screamed, "We'll leave as soon as I get out of this damn dress!"

Akane and Ranma arrived upstairs. Konatsu answered the worried looks of
the newlyweds with his own.

Ranma asked, "What's wrong?"

Konatsu replied, "Today has been too much for her. We'll be leaving as
soon as she finished changing."

Ranma asked, "Ucchan are you okay?"

Ukyou exited Nabiki's room, her tux had been put on in haste and said,
"I'm not okay Ranma, and please call me Ukyou for now. That other name
reminds me of too much."

Ranma responded, "If that's what you want."

"It is. I... I've got to go," she said as tears weld up into her eyes.

Ukyou ran out of the Tendo home, Konatsu following closely behind.

Akane whispered, "I hope she'll be all right."

Ranma added, "I hope so to."

-------------------------------------------

A couple hours passed as the guests listened to the stories of some of
the events that occurred in the past year and a half. Ranma and Akane
recovered a little from their encounter with Ukyou. During this time 
some of the guests congratulated the newlyweds. After the stories were 
told the guests proceeded to make for the food, and the dojo was 
converted into a dance hall. The minister had been sent home, completely 
drunk. 

Once the starving guests had decimated the food table, they either went
to the dojo to dance or stayed at the tables outside to talk.

The first dance went to Ranma and Akane. The guests watched as they
swayed to the music. They were not actually dancing, as neither of them
knew how, so they tried to fake it. Afterwards the guests started to
dance. First among those on the dance floor were Nodoka and Genma, Ryoga
and Akari, and Mikado and Kodachi. Ranma and Akane returned to the
dining room.

Mousse nervously approached Shampoo and said, "Shampoo, my love. May I
have the pleasure of this dance?"

"I believe that is Shampoo," Yuka replied, giggled while she pointed at
the purple-haired amazon. Mousse pulled his glasses to his eyes.

Mousse meekly said, "Sorry." He went over to Shampoo, now actually
wearing his glasses, and asked, "Shampoo, my love. May I have the
pleasure of this dance?"

Shampoo screamed her reply, "NO! Shampoo will not dance with blind
duck-boy. Shampoo rather be killed by dog!"

Mousse pleaded, "But my love, I am training under Ranma so that I can
earn the right to be your husband. "

Shampoo yelled, "Mousse have no right to be Shampoo's husband. Right
belongs to man who defeats Shampoo in battle. And Mousse is no man!"

Mousse stated, "I shall prove myself to you."

Shampoo continued her rant, "No way can duck prove he man. Duck only 
good for being dinner. Mousse annoy Shampoo anymore, Shampoo cook 
Mousse." When Shampoo finished her statement, she grabbed Mousse and 
threw him through the dojo wall and into the koi pond. She glared at two 
guys who watched the one sided argument and demanded, "What boys looking 
at?"

Hiroshi and Daisuke replied, "Oh... nothing."

"Quack. Quack," was heard from the pond.

Chibi-Ms. Hinako grinned, pulled out a five yen coin, and said, "Now 
that is not the way for a guest to behave at a wedding. Happo Go-en 
Shatsu." 

Shampoo's chi was drained into Ms. Hinako. Ms. Hinako turned into her
beautiful adult form while Shampoo blew into the wall as if she were a
paper doll. Several guys started to fight to ask Ms. Hinako to dance.

Ms. Hinako had other ideas and walked up to Soun and asked, "Greetings
Mr. Tendo, I wonder if you would allow me the pleasure of this dance?"

Soun stuttered, "Su... Sure."

Nabiki looked at her with disgust. The guys who had been fighting 
started to cry.

----
	
Pantyhose looked at Shampoo and said aloud to himself, "Great, now I 
really have to avoid fighting her."

Cologne responded to Pantyhose anyway, "Why? She is a rather beautiful 
young woman, and a great fighter. Also, it would not matter what your 
name is."

Pantyhose glared at Cologne. "I'd rather marry fem-boy than her." 

----

Dr. Tofu did not notice anything. He was busy as he tried to build up
enough courage and self-control to ask Kasumi to dance. 

Kasumi approached and said, "Hello Dr. Tofu."

Dr. Tofu stuttered, "Ka... Kasumi... ah, hi. Nice day isn't it."

Kasumi replied, "Oh my, yes. A perfect day for a wedding."

Dr. Tofu's glasses started to get covered by steam. "Kasumi... would
you... ah, like to... ah..." he attempted to say as he tentatively
stretched out his hand toward the dance floor.

Kasumi took the hint and said, "Dance? I'd love to."

Kasumi led the nervous doctor to the dance floor and began to dance. The
entire time Dr. Tofu barely remained in control, while Kasumi smiled.

Kasumi stated with a smile, "Thank you for the dance."

"You... You're welcomed. Hehe..." he said as his control snapped. He
began to dance away merrily, shouting, "She danced with me! She danced
with me!" The young doctor continued his dance of joy through the dojo
wall, over the wall fence, and into streets. 

Kasumi frowned at the sight, saying sadly, "And he was doing so well."

-----------------------

As the evening progressed, many of the guests grew tired and were
preparing to leave. Soun decided now was the time to give Ranma and 
Akane their wedding present. He got all the guests into the dojo and 
then brought Ranma and Akane in. Soun and Genma were standing next to
something covered by a sheet.

Soun shouted, "May I please have your attention?"

The guests quieted down.

Soun began to speak, "This day has been a long time coming. An
arrangement, that was made nearly twenty years ago, for the purpose of
joining the Tendo clan and the Saotome clan, has finally happened on 
this joyful day."

Soun cried tears of joy as Genma continued the speech, "Now that Ranma
and Akane are married, they shall carry on the Anything Goes School of
Martial Arts, as shall their children."

Soun regained his composure and then continued, "As the heirs to our
illustrious school of martial arts, it is my pleasure to give them the
Tendo dojo and home."

Genma removed the sheet to reveal two signs. One stated Saotome Dojo, 
and the other Saotome. Ranma, Akane, and many of the guests were 
stunned. Soun returned to cry for joy.

Ranma final spoke, "The house is ours?!"

Genma replied, "Yes."

Ranma and Akane could not grasp the idea. The dojo and the house 
belonged to them. 

Nabiki added, "And don't worry to much about the expenses. Along with 
the house comes a small amount of money and some stocks in Nerima
Construction Industries. That should be enough to handle most of your
expenses for at least a couple years. Of course you realize that it's 
our turn to freeload off you, Ranma."

Ranma regained a few of his faculties and saw an opportunity to get at
Nabiki and joked, "Ah... Mr. Tendo and Pop can freeload, Kasumi and Mom 
do more than enough house work to earn their place, but you, what do you
offer?"

Nabiki retorted, "Well the meager amount daddy is giving you should last
two years, if you're in control, two months. Let me handle it, and you
might never have to work."

Ranma stuttered, "Um... right. Money advice." Eager to change subjects,
he stated, "I guess we should throw the bouquet and garter now."

A few of the guests cheered their approval. Genma moved the signs out of
the way.

Akane shouted, "All right. Girls first. All you single girls get into 
the middle of the dojo."

Shampoo inquired, "What's going on?"

Cologne answered, "It's an odd western contest. I want you to win this."

Shampoo nodded and joined the mass of girls.

Akane turned her back to the girls and said, "Ready? 1... 2... 3..." 

Akane launched the bouquet over her shoulder. Kodachi and Shampoo jumped
above the girls. Kodachi let loose her ribbon and attempted to snare the
bouquet that was nearly in Shampoo's hands. The ribbon missed its target
and wrapped itself around Shampoo's arms. This prevented Shampoo from
grabbing the bouquet, which landed unmolested into the hands of Kasumi.

"My!" Kasumi said, blushing.

Ranma stated, "Hope Doc gets over his problem soon."

Akane nodded in agreement.

Soun cried for joy, "Another daughter shall soon be married."

Shampoo has broken free of the ribbon and knocked Kodachi senseless. She
returned to Cologne's side and said, "Sorry. Crazy girl prevented 
Shampoo from winning."

Cologne responded, "It's all right. The winner of this contest is 
suppose to be the next person who will be married."

Shampoo blinked and asked, "Then why Great-grandmother want Shampoo to
compete?"

"I wanted to know if you were next to be married."

"Oh. Hope Mousse no win. Mousse get wrong idea."

Ranma shouted, "Okay, guys your turn."

The single guys formed a group in the center. Genma pushed Soun into the
group. Mousse and Ryoga flanked the sides and prepared to snare the
garter. 

Akane sat on a chair that was placed in front of and yet a fair distance
from the guys. Ranma knelt down in front of her. She stretched out her
leg. Ranma moved his hands teasingly up her leg and under her dress.
After a moment as Ranma blindly groped for the garter, Akane whapped him
on the head and said, "That is not the garter." Many growls were heard
from the assembled men. Ranma quickly found garter after that. He 
started to pull it off.

Akane stopped him. "You're suppose to take it off with your teeth."

Many more growls were heard from the assembled guys.

Ranma smiled as he nervously as he ducked his head under the dress. 
Akane momentarily had an odd look on her face and muttered, "I told you 
that's not the garter." The guys, fortunately, did not hear this. 

Ranma ever so slowly pulled the garter down and off her leg with his
teeth. Akane leaned toward Ranma and whispered something, which he
blushed and nodded in reply. He stood up and kept his back to the guys
and said, "Ready?  1... 2... 3..." He stretched the garter and shot it
over his shoulder like a rubber band.

The mass of males shot forth in attempts to grab it. Kuno, Ryoga,
Principal Kuno, Mousse, and Pantyhose all leapt for the garter. A wall
exploded and a flash of movement was seen before the dust obscured the
group of men. As the dust settled the guys were in a massive pile 
wrapped in chains. Only one guy was standing. That guy looked at the 
garter in his hands with a puzzled look. Everyone blinked and looked at 
the guy, he had not been there a moment before. His puzzlement ended 
when he heard someone call his name.

"Dr. Tofu! You're back... and you caught the garter," said Kasumi.

Dr. Tofu turned and saw Kasumi holding the bouquet and stammered, "Y-you
caught the bouquet?" Kasumi nodded and Dr. Tofu promptly fainted with a
smile on his face.

Akane said, "I guess they're destined to be together."

Ranma added, "Yeah, now if only he could keep himself in control."

--------------------------------------

The guests started to leave after congratulating the newlywed couple. By
eleven o'clock only a handful remained. The Saotomes, the Tendos, and
Mousse were cleaning up.

Chibi-Ms. Hinako bowed and said gleefully, "This was a great wedding, to
bad there weren't many fights. I wish you two all the best."

Akane and Ranma replied, "Thanks."

Pantyhose arrived after she left and said, "So fem-boy decided to settle
down."

Akane interjected, "Not really."

Pantyhose laughed and said, "Good luck on your marriage. Oh, Ranma, I'll
be back before I leave for China to beat the crap out of you for old
times sake." He turned around and walked into the koi pond. This
transformed him into his monstrous cursed form and he flew off.

Ranma looked at Pantyhose as he flew away and muttered, "I hate that
jerk."

Principal Kuno approached and said, "You two are excused from school 
fo' the next two days. But, I expect you to be at school bright and 
early Thursday."

Akane replied, "Thank you."

Principal Kuno pulled out a stack of papers and then added, "Here is 
da homework you'll miss, I expect dem to be done Thursday. Oh, an' 
good luck on the marriage." The principal left them while laughing.

Ranma muttered, "Thanks for nothing, jerk."

A moment passed and then Ms. Hinako returned and said, "I forgot to 
give you two your present from the teachers." She proceeded to grab the
homework and mark "A" on each the assignments. "Here you go. Enjoy the
honeymoon," she giggled.

"Th... thanks," stuttered Ranma.

"Thank you, but you shouldn't have..." Akane said before being
interrupted.

"Forget about the homework. You two should have nothing to worry about
for the next couple days. Okay," the child teacher said.

Ranma and Akane nodded in agreement, and Ms. Hinako left for home. After 
a few more guests congratulated the newlyweds and left, only the
Saotomes, the Tendos, and Mousse remained. They had just finished
cleaning. 

Nodoka approached and said, "Well, it is time for us to go."

Akane chirped, "Go?"

Nodoka replied, "Since we can't give you two a proper honeymoon, we'll
give you run of the house for the next two days. We'll be staying at my
house."

Akane blushed and said, "Thank you. And thanks for the helping with the
wedding."

Nodoka smiled. "It was my pleasure."

Ranma added, "See you in a couple days."

Nodoka hugged Ranma and then Akane.

"Tomorrow, I'll be shopping for a new bed for you two as a wedding
present. I was wondering if you wanted just a larger bed or a futon
couch?" Nodoka asked.

Ranma and Akane looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

"I guess the futon would be better. It would give us more room," Akane
answered.

Ranma nodded in agreement.

Nodoka nodded, "Okay. I'll see you later. Goodbye."

Ranma and Akane replied, "Goodbye."

Mousse approached and said, "I guess it's time to leave. I'll be back
Thursday afternoon to start training."

Ranma replied, "Sure."

Akane added, "Thank you for helping."

Mousse bowed and said, "You're welcome."

Ranma and Akane said their good-byes to their family and were left alone
at the house. They shut and locked the house up and went upstairs to 
what used to be Akane's room, but now was Akane's and Ranma's room. The 
sign that had been on the door, the duck with Akane's name on it, had 
been removed and replaced with a new sign shaped in the Yin-Yang symbol 
with both their names written on it. 

----------------------------------------------

Author's Note:
Please tell me what you think of this chapter. C&C will be
appreciated. Send your message to: archive@mich.com

Special thanks to Mark Premo for the suggestion of changing the scene
where "Let no man, etc.... put asunder" by having it interrupted at each
point.

And thank you David Tatum and Rea Konecki for pre-reading this fic.

Mr. and Mrs. Saotome - Whose family name to use in a Japanese wedding
are not always easily determined. Ranma and Akane is just such a case.

Ranma is an only child and of an extremely small clan. Only five 
Saotomes were there as guests (Ranma's parents, grandparents and one 
other). This puts a strong importance that Akane takes his name. 
Besides, it is also considered a little unmanly if Ranma took her name 
(Nodoka would not be pleased.) 

Akane has every right, though, to have Ranma take her name. She appears 
to be of a higher social class (though not completely sure about this). 
She also brings more to the marriage - the dojo and house, which is 
theirs versus Ranma's mother's house, which might one day be his.

I decided to go with Saotome for this series. Akane could possibly keep
her name, and Ranma and their children would take his name, but I choose
not to as a means to prevent more confusion.

A Kuno/Nabiki pairing and it is clear that they're suppose to take 
Kuno's name. Kuno is of higher social status, brings more to the 
marriage, and is the first born son. All Nabiki has for her is that she 
wears the wedding dress/kimono.

A Dr. Tofu/Kasumi pairing would be different. Dr. Tofu would take 
Kasumi's name. He appears to only have what he brings to the marriage as 
a plus and maybe he's the eldest son, while Kasumi is the eldest Tendo, 
a girl, and potentially higher in social cast.

Footnotes:

(1) Soul of Ice - This is part of the Hiryu Shoten Ha technique, in 
which you suppress emotional reactions to maintain a cold aura and to 
be able to run in a spiral while being attacked..

(2) Dragon Hair/Bald Men - A cure for baldness is to eat Dragon hair.
There is a group of bald men that want to get the hair by any means. 

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/fuji/9061/TIC