The Insanity Continues

Volume 2 - Reflections and Changes

Chapter 3 - Lessons

This chapter may be considered Lemon-scented as it has some sexual 
references and innuendoes.

Legal Babble: Characters are copyrighted of Rumiko Takahashi, Viz Video, 
Shonen Sunday, ect.. and are used without permission. I'm only borrowing 
them. I'll return them... eventually.

--------------------------------------

Ranma stood at the gates of Furinkan High, facing off against Kuno. 
Kuno's aura glowing yellow.

"You have befouled the bed chamber of the lovely goddess before taking 
her hand in marriage. You honorless cur. I SHALL SMITE THEE!"

Before Ranma could say anything, Akane reminded him, "Keep your mouth 
shut." She knew he might just make a comment of Kuno's latest love 
interest.

Nabiki stared at Kuno coldly.

Ranma knocked Kuno out cold, and continued towards class followed by his 
pregnant wife.

Nabiki grabbed Kuno and dragged him to the nurse's office, muttering, 
"Pathetic."

--------------------------------------

Ranma and Akane made their way to their classroom, fully aware of the 
comments made about them as they passed.

"He certainly didn't waste time." 
"Mr. and Mrs. Hentai." 
"Can you believe she's pregnant?" 
"It's the slut." 
"They're so lucky."

"Can't they mind their own business?" Ranma muttered angrily.

"You should know the answer to that," Akane replied.

When they entered their classroom, they saw a wall of students, all 
asking questions. Most wanted to know if Akane was really pregnant.

Akane shook her head at the sight. "Yes, I'm pregnant. So what?" she 
said angrily.

The class fell silent.

"Oh, Akane, congratulations!" Yuka elated.

"Didn't take long for her to get pregnant, did it?" Hiroshi commented.

"Nope," replied Daisuki, counting money. "I'm glad it didn't."

"Won the bet I see."

"Yep."

"So, how far into the pregnancy are you?" Sayuri asked.

Akane was flushed by the sudden good natured outpouring of affections 
her female classmates. "Six days," Akane replied.

"Six days?" the female students questioned.

"Cologne can detect pregnancy at it's earliest stages," Akane answered.

"Six days down, nine months to go," a girl commented.

"You're certainly a stud, Saotome. Getting her pregnant so quickly, and all," a guy commented.

Before anymore comments were made the bell rang and chibi-Ms. Hinako 
entered the classroom. "All right students, sit down." She noticed she 
was being ignored and stepped between Ranma and Akane, pulling out a 
fifty-yen coin. "I SAID SIT DOWN!" She blinked, because of the sudden 
dust cloud that used to be a wall of students. By the time she could see 
clearly only Ranma and Akane weren't seated.

Ranma and Akane quickly moved to their seats.

"Oh Akane," Ms. Hinako said. "I hear congratulations are in order."

Akane blushed. "Er... Thanks."

--------------------------------------

Ukyou watched Ranma and Akane eating lunch from a distance. She could 
tell they were upset with her about what she said yesterday. Both of 
them had been avoiding to look at her. She didn't blame them, she did 
the same thing to them the day before.

Ukyou was surprised that a good number of students were encouraging 
Akane and congratulating her about the pregnancy. Ukyou was also upset 
at those that ridiculed Akane about it, and even tore down some 
defamatory notes concerning Akane.

 

Ukyou sighed as she picked at her lunch.  Ukyou shook her head.  she tried to convince herself. 



--------------------------------------

After school Ranma and Akane stopped at Dr. Tofu's for Akane's 
appointment.

"Hello, I'll be with you in a moment," Dr. Tofu greeted.

Ranma and Akane sat in the waiting room. After a moment Dr. Tofu ushered 
out an elderly patient.

"I can see you now, Akane. Ranma, you should wait here," Dr. Tofu said.

Ranma grumbled as Akane went to the office.

"How have you been feeling?" Dr. Tofu asked.

"Perfectly fine," Akane replied.

"How have you been feeling emotionally?"

"I guess I've been feeling the full range of emotions."

"Why's that?"

"Between fear of the future and happiness of marriage. Having people at 
school either ridicule me or encourage me about the pregnancy."

"They know about that?"

Akane sighed. "Ukyou told them."

Dr. Tofu shook his head. "Akane, now about the pregnancy, how far into 
it are you?"

"Almost a week."

"I see," Dr. Tofu said, holding his hand to his chin while deep in 
thought. "I had planned to give you a pregnancy test, but it might come 
up negative for a couple more days still. I'll give you that test next 
Friday."

Akane nodded.

"I'd still like to run some tests. They'll just be to check for possible 
complications."

--------------------------------------

Nabiki returned late from school again, carrying yet another brown bag. 
Kasumi was in the hallway cleaning the table, she looked a little 
unsettled.

"Hi, Kasumi," Nabiki greeted.

"Hello, Nabiki. More flowers?" Kasumi returned.

"Nope," Nabiki replied. She pulled out a cute little dolly.

"How cute," Kasumi said, her normal pleasantness missing.

"Kasumi, what's wrong?"

Kasumi didn't answer as she cast a worried glance towards the kitchen.

A dread filled Nabiki when she realized a disaster was brewing.

"Akane, STOP!" Ranma was heard screaming.

"Why?" Akane shouted.
"Look what you're putting into the food."

"Oil. That's what the recipe calls for."

"But that's motor oil."

"Motor oil? Why is there motor oil in the kitchen?"

Kasumi face was locked in fear.

"Come on Kasumi, let's go out to eat," Nabiki suggested firmly.

"B-but my kitchen..." Kasumi stammered.

"It's their kitchen now. They can destroy it if they want."

"B-but my kitchen..." Kasumi repeated as Nabiki dragged her out of the 
house.

--------------------------------------

It took a while for Nabiki to get Kasumi to the restaurant. Kasumi kept 
insisting that she should be home in case something went wrong. Nabiki 
wouldn't have any of it, and practically dragged Kasumi all the way 
there.

Kasumi looked at the restaurant, The Otaku Bar and Grill, and asked, 
"Why are we eating here?"

"I've got a coupon for a free meal for two," Nabiki replied.

"Oh."

They entered the restaurant and initially had trouble being seated. 
Nabiki wasn't liking having to wait and asked to see the manager. When 
she stated her name, they were promptly seated.

Kasumi sat at the table fidgeting. Nabiki knew she had to distract her 
from thinking about what their younger sister was doing to the kitchen.

"So, Sis, what are you going to do about the good doctor?"

"Dr. Tofu?" Kasumi sighed. "I don't know. He just gets so... so silly 
around me."

"Love just drives him crazy."

"Is it really love? Ranma and Akane don't act like that towards each 
other."

"We each express our love in our ways. Dr. Tofu goes wacky, Ranma 
insults her, Akane hits him, I charge less interest."

"So, how much interest do you charge Kuno?"

"Standard interest, of course."

"Considering he's rich, that shows a lot."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"That you love him."

"I do not," Nabiki denied.

Kasumi gave her a knowing smile.

 Nabiki shook her head. 
"Now back to talking about the doctor, how do you feel about him?"

"I'm not sure. I guess I like him a lot."

"Is that why you're always borrowing his books?"

Kasumi blushed a little. "I think so."

"So, is this love?"

"I don't think so," Kasumi mustered her best denial.

Nabiki eyed Kasumi critically. 

"You don't believe me?"

"Nope."

"See, trying to deny it doesn't work."

Nabiki chuckled dryly.  "Well, I can't deny that one...  Okay, MAYBE I 
do feel more for him than I'm saying...  For now, though, I don't think 
I do. Okay?"

"If you say so."

Nabiki was thankful as their waiter arrived with their food. She hoped 
they could move off the topic of what she felt for Kuno.

"Do you think Akane will have a boy or a girl?" Kasumi asked.

Nabiki picked at her food for a second. "Honestly, I think it'll be both 
a boy and a girl."

"My, you think the curse is inheritable?"

"Considering everything that happens to them, yes."

"They do seem to have an interesting life."

"I've experienced more things than most people will in their entire 
life, and I haven't seen a tenth of the adventures Akane has, let alone 
Ranma. I hope she knows what's she got herself into."

"She does. Auntie Saotome asked her after the wedding attempt if she 
really wanted to marry Ranma and the insanity he brings with him."

Nabiki sighed, "I regret I stopped that wedding. I thought Dad bribed 
Akane into marrying Ranma, but she made it painfully clear the only one 
being bribed at the time was Ranma."

"You didn't know what China did to her."

"I should have asked or found out. I did something without first 
obtaining all the information, and that's an error I should've never 
done."

"We all make mistakes."

"I guess."

--------------------------------------

Kasumi and Nabiki finished there dinner with some idle chatter, and were 
walking home. Thankfully to Nabiki, little of the idle chatter concerned 
love interests. Kasumi's insistence that she loved Kuno was starting to 
annoy her. She would be happy to get home and work her daily accountings 
of her profits.

"This would be a good night to walk with a loved one," Kasumi commented.

"Are you still pushing that? You're getting as bad as Dad and Ranma's 
parents."

"I was just commenting how it's such a nice night."

"Yeah, whatever."  An idea flashed through Nabiki head. "Why don't you ask 
Dr. Tofu to go for an evening stroll?"

"I can't. If I asked he'll just grab Betty-chan and dance around town."

"We're going to have to cure the good doctor of his silliness."

"I wish I knew hooOouch..." Kasumi said as she tripped on the sidewalk 
and fell awkwardly. 

"Kasumi, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I just hurt my ankle a little."

"Hmm... You should see Dr. Tofu about that," Nabiki said with a devious 
grin.

"It's not that bad. Besides, he'd never be able to control himself."

"Now Kasumi, this is best opportunity to help him with his problem."

"How is that?"

"That doctor goes nuts when he sees you, but in order to help you he'll 
have to touch you. And, he'd never hurt you. Right?"

Kasumi nodded.

"So, if you come as a patient he'll have to stay in control, or he'd 
hurt you. I'm willing to bet he'd stay in control."

"Do you really think it'd work?"

"Yes. Now let me help you get to Dr. Tofu's." Nabiki helped Kasumi up to 
her feet and helped her get to Dr. Tofu's clinic.

--------------------------------------

Dr. Tofu was cleaning up his office after his last customer had left 
when he heard a knock at the door.  he wondered as 
he opened the door and saw Kasumi, looking rather sheepishly, leaning on 
Nabiki. "K-Kasumi, what a surprise to see you here of all places."

"Dr. Tofu, Kasumi HURT her ankle and you NEED to examine it," Nabiki 
ordered.

"Oh my, you  hurt your ankle. Come with me," Dr. Tofu said. 

He picked up Kasumi and carried her to the examination bed. He placed 
her carefully on it and studied her ankle. Kasumi was blushing the 
entire time.

"Does this hurt?" Dr. Tofu asked.

"A little."

Dr. Tofu walked over to the counter and picked up a bandage. He then 
started to wrap Kasumi's hurt ankle. 

"It's a light sprain. You should avoid putting pressure on it for a few 
days." Dr. Tofu looked up at Kasumi.  he thought realizing just what he has done.

"Thank you, doctor." 

"K-Kasumi, it was my pleasure." Dr. Tofu closed his eyes trying to hold 
onto his control  He stammered "I-I 
w-was w-wondering if-if y-y-you w-w-w-would g-g-g-go o-o-o-o-out 
w-w-w-w-with m-m-m-m-m-me S-S-S-S-S-Sa-t-t-t-t-t-t-tur-d-d-d-d-d-d-day?"

Kasumi smiled, "I'd love to."

For a moment Dr. Tofu stared at her in shock, and then he ran over to a 
skeleton. "Betty-chan did you hear that? She wants to go out with me!" 
he elated as he danced out of his clinic with Betty-chan in his arms.

Kasumi shook her head. 

"So, the plan worked," Nabiki said as she entered the room.

Kasumi looked at Nabiki, a big smile on her lips. "Yes. Yes, it did." 

--------------------------------------

Kasumi leaned on Nabiki as they returned home. She couldn't wait for her 
date with Dr. Tofu, and hoped he could control himself. Her big smile, 
the one that she wore since leaving Dr. Tofu's, dropped a little when 
she noticed the eerie silence of her home. 

Nabiki was also unsettled by the quiet and knew where the source would 
likely be.

They carefully walked toward the kitchen and peeked inside. The kitchen 
was a complete mess, no real surprise there. In the middle of the 
kitchen sat Ranma and Akane glaring at each other, also not much of a 
surprise. 

Kasumi shook her head, they had been doing so good. Nabiki frowned at 
this, she hoped that they wouldn't have to worry about major repair 
bills for a while. They were startled by a noise from the two in the 
kitchen. Ranma and Akane were laughing.

"You look pretty silly," Akane snickered.

"Look who's talking," Ranma replied, flinging some food(?) at Akane.

"Too bad this stuff really isn't edible. It would've been fun to clean 
off if it was," Akane commented with a hentai grin.

"I can think of some fun ways to get clean," Ranma returned with his own 
hentai grin.

"But my way would've been funner," Akane faked a pout.

"True, we'll have to try that later. We'll get Mousse to clean the 
kitchen, now let's go take a bath."

"Yes," Akane grinned.

"You two go have your fun. I'll clean the kitchen," Kasumi interrupted 
with a big smile.

Ranma and Akane mega-blushed.

"Now Kasumi, remember the doctor's orders: keep pressure off your foot 
and date him tomorrow. We'll get Mousse to clean this," Nabiki 
corrected.

Akane's eyes widen. "You've got a date with Dr. Tofu?"

Kasumi nodded.

"About time," Ranma commented.

"Yeah, the same can be said about you two. Now go have your fun. I'll go 
find Mousse," Nabiki said.

"He's in the dojo," Ranma informed.

"Go on you two, have your fun," Kasumi insisted.

Akane grabbed Ranma's hand, saying, "You heard them, let's go."

"Who would have thought peace in our own time," Nabiki commented.

"Make love, not war," Kasumi added.

Nabiki eyed Kasumi suspiciously, "Just how far do you plan on going on 
your date?"

"Nabiki! I wouldn't do anything that wasn't proper," Kasumi retorted, 
pleasantly.

"And whose view of being proper are you referring to?"

Kasumi shook her head. Nabiki was going to tease her by twisting 
whatever she said to her own wishes. Kasumi found she was actually 
liking it, though, Nabiki was treating her more like a sister than the 
mother that she had been for them.

--------------------------------------

Shampoo arrived at Furinkan High just before the Saturday classes ended. 
She wanted to deliver her great-grandmother's message to Akane without 
the possibility of seeing Mousse. When the bell rang she scanned the 
students leaving the school watching for signs of Ranma, for where ever 
Ranma was, so was Akane.

Shampoo was startled when she heard several  battle cries erupt from the 
main entrance of the school. She saw almost two dozen students rushing 
out of the school and racing towards her. 

"Shampoo, my love shall defeat you!"
"Defeat for marriage!"
"I love you!"
"My love shall knock you out!"

Shampoo's eyes took a predatory gleam. "Stupid boys think they can 
defeat Shampoo. Shampoo show them who is greatest Amazon fighter of her 
generation."

Shampoo launched herself into the fray, dodging attacks and sending her 
new would-be suitors to unconsciousness.

"Love knock-out pu..." a guy wearing boxing gloves said before going 
unconscious from Shampoo's blow to the head. He was the last one to 
fall. 

"Hmpf," Shampoo snubbed. "Mousse imitations, not even make Shampoo break 
a sweat. Need much more training." She turned around when she heard some 
people laughing.

"So, there going after you now," Akane giggled. "But, this seems to be 
only half the group."

"The other half is going after Ukyou," Hiroshi informed.

Ranma rolled his eyes.

Akane shook her head. 

Shampoo raised an eyebrow. "What going on?"

"This was half of the `Tendo Akane Fan Club,'" Akane said with obvious 
disgust.  "But, seeing as I married Ranma, I guess they set their sights 
on you and Ukyou."

"Aiya! Shampoo no want leftovers, especially from pervert girl."

"What do you want anyway, Shampoo?" Akane asked angrily.

"Great-grandmother want to see pervert girl."

"What for?"

"Great-grandmother need to inform pervert girl about Amazon laws."

"I'll see her after I visit Dr. Tofu."

Shampoo nodded as she got onto her bicycle and left.

Ranma blinked. He had seen Shampoo and she had not registered his 
presence. He half expected Shampoo to glomp onto him as soon as she saw 
him, but she hadn't even looked at him.  He shrugged, at 
least he didn't have to worry about Akane hitting him. But, something 
still felt wrong about Shampoo's lack of attention. 

Akane's anger subsided when she realized that Shampoo had avoided 
looking at Ranma.  

--------------------------------------

Nabiki didn't have to wait for the school to empty before removing 
today's present, a single red rose. She could easily hide it from view.

 Nabiki wondered. She eyed the card attached 
to it, a smile crept across her face as she read it.

	Oh cunning, beauteous one,
	I cannot bear to sit alone.
	My heart yearns for thee.
	Would you meet me by the tree,
	by the field racers run,
	at the setting of the sun?

	-Hopefully soon to no longer be
	 just a Secret Admirer of thee.



--------------------------------------

Ranma and Akane were setting in Dr. Tofu's office. Dr. Tofu was going 
over some files.

"Good news," Dr. Tofu related. "Nothing to report from the initial tests 
that I ran. I'll be able to give you more information from the other 
tests next week."

Akane and Ranma nodded.

"I'd like to talk to you about some of the things to expect about the 
pregnancy. First, in about three weeks you'll start to experience what 
is called morning sickness..."

Ranma's mind shut off as he watched Dr. Tofu go into a long winded 
discussion of pregnancy, occasionally Dr. Tofu would hand Akane a 
pamphlet. By the end of it, she had about two dozen. Ranma hadn't 
responded to the entire discussion until Akane waved her hand in front 
of his face.

"Huh?" Ranma emitted.

"Baka! You zoned out. How much of the discussion did you even listen 
too?" Akane angrily asked.

Ranma tried to think quickly, trying to decide on truth or lie. He 
sighed, either way meant pain. "None of it."

Akane shook her head, sighing.  "At least you're honest about it...  
Okay, you're going to have to read these pamphlets, though if you'd paid 
attention you wouldn't have to."  Ranma was stunned as Akane did no more 
to him than just throw the stack of information packets at him. "Now, 
let's go to the Neko-Hanten.  The sooner we're done, the sooner we can 
go on our date."

"Date?" Ranma asked, surprised.

"Don't tell me you forgot about taking me out on a date?"

Ranma quickly searched his memory concerning asking Akane out for a 
date.   "No... no, I didn't forget about OUR 
date.  But... between us having sex for the first time, finding out you 
were pregnant, us getting married, our honeymoon, and that press 
conference Nabiki arranged for us, I've kinda forgotten what date TODAY 
is.  Also, with that punishment thing, I was... well... I thought you 
didn't want to go out after that."

"Why wouldn't I?" She was visibly shaking with anger.

"I-I-I don't know..."  Ranma held up his hands in a warding gesture.  
"I... well... why are we still here?"  He asked, trying to regain some 
of his composure.  "The sooner you've finished with the old ghoul, the 
sooner we can go on our date."

Akane's anger relented, "Okay, let's go." 

Ranma smiled as he grabbed Akane's hand and led her out of the clinic.

A smile touched Akane's face. It was hard for her to not punch Ranma 
through a wall, but if she had, any chance for the date later in the 
evening would have been nil. She had given Ranma a chance to talk his 
way out of it, and was only a little disappointed about what he said. 
She hoped this would get easier though, he still had that annoying 
foot-in-mouth habit.

Ranma was happy. He had somehow avoided getting hit by Akane. She 
actually gave him the chance to talk rather than hit him. He could tell 
he came very close to gaining another flying lesson. He wished he knew 
how to avoid saying the wrong thing, like questioning Akane's reference 
about the date. Then she might not need to fight to control her anger... 
at least not as often.

--------------------------------------

Shampoo sat at a table in the corner of the Neko-Hanten with several 
books detailing Amazon law. Cologne was still working in the kitchen, 
dealing with the remnants of the lunch rush.

Ranma and Akane entered the restaurant holding hands. Shampoo 
immediately started to study one of the books. 

"Hiya, Shampoo, old ghoul," Ranma greeted.

"Greetings, Honor Elder. Greetings, Shan Pu," Akane greeted with a bow.

This caused Cologne and Shampoo to stare at her.

"I've been talking to Mousse about some of the Amazon customs," Akane 
answered their unspoken question.

"Ah, well, I'd like Shampoo teach you the ways of a true Amazon," 
Cologne said.

"Why does Shampoo have to teach pervert girl?"

"Because you need to refresh your memory of Amazon laws. This foreign 
life threatens to corrupt you," Cologne answered in Chinese.

"All right. Shampoo teach pervert girl."

Akane shock her head.  Akane thought. She reminded 
herself, in an attempt to keep from getting angry, that she was doing 
this to prevent further problems of the Amazon variety.

Ranma was annoyed to find out that they wouldn't let him learn any of 
the laws because he was a man, but soon he felt some relief as he 
realized it meant he wouldn't need to sit through another 'class.'  
Between learning how to deal with a pregnant wife, learning how to deal 
with his classmates, and just plain learning at school, he found that he 
already had more than enough to study for.

Ranma sat at a table eating ramen. He grew impatient after he polished 
off three bowls.

"So, old ghoul." Ranma began as he caught a plate Cologne tossed at his 
head. 

"Don't call me that. Refer to me as your wife does."

"Whatever, old ghoul."

Cologne shook her head, there was no teaching him about social graces. 
"What do you want?"

"I, ah, was wondering... what can you tell me about the baby?" Ranma 
asked.

"Not much. Just that it's there and healthy."

"That's good to know at least," Ranma answered, somberly.

"Unsure of the future, are you?"

"Maybe."

"I'm sure you and Akane will do fine. Look at how much your father 
screwed up, and you turned out fine."

"Oh, that magic you used on my wedding ring actually works. It fits 
snuggly in either form."

"You doubted it?"

"I have plenty of reasons to distrust if magic will work."


Akane was getting bored from listening to Shampoo's lesson in Amazon 
laws. The only thing she really caught so far was that she wouldn't be a 
true Amazon until she competed in the annual tournament. This gave Akane 
over a year to decide if she wanted to truly be an Amazon.

"...That all Amazon women must learn bakusai tenketsu," Shampoo 
continued in her lesson.

"Why would I need to learn breaking point?" Akane asked.

"The reason to learn technique is to increase resistance to damage. This 
helps prevent possibly injury during pregnancy. Learning technique 
would've been good idea, if pervert girl wasn't already pregnant," 
Shampoo answered.

"Why can't I be trained now, before I'm too far into the pregnancy?"

"Means of training may cause injury which result in miscarriage."

"Oh... Um, Shampoo, can we continue this later?"

"Shampoo guess so."

"How about next Saturday?"

"That'd be fine."

Ranma attention was drawn to Akane as she got up from the table. "Can we 
leave now?"

"Anxious for our date are we?" Akane asked critically.

"Yep," Ranma replied.

Shampoo muttered something unpleasant in Chinese.

Akane smiled. "So am I."

-----------------------------------------

Author's Note:
Thanks to David Tatum and Brent Neef for pre-reading this chapter, and 
thanks to all who gave me suggestions.

The idea of Kasumi's hurt ankle can be traced to Nabiki's suggestion to 
Kasumi to fake an injury in M. A. MacKinnon's "Doors Best Left Unopened" 
The `kitchen aftermath' scene however was plotted before I read that 
story so similarities were coincidental.

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/fuji/9061/TIC