The Insanity Continues

Volume 3 - Anything Goes Martial Arts Dance Contest

Chapter 5 - Clean Up

Characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Viz Video, ect..., and are 
used without permission. I'm only borrowing them. I'll return them. I 
can't afford the overdue charge Nabiki insists on.

This series deals with a married Ranma and Akane, so some sexual 
references and innuendoes may occur.

---------------------------------------

Onna-Ranma grumbled as she and many of the martial artists in Nerima 
helped clean the results of the massive battle with Pantyhose that had
brought a sudden end to Furinkan High's prom. She didn't have much 
choice but to help. It was either this or ruin the only perfect grade 
she had on her report card, her gym grade. She was happy at least that 
the sprinkler system had been turned off.

Ukyou approached Ranma. She was going to try to talk things over yet 
again. Hopefully, this time, they could settle things. Being alone at 
her restaurant with only Konatsu to talk to was really starting to get 
to her. "Ranma?"

"Hi, Ukyou," Ranma greeted a little coldly.

"I realy think we should talk."

Ranma didn't say anything for a moment, and then said hesitantly, "All 
right, talk."

"Ranma, I'd like us to be friends again. I know I shouldn't have told 
the school. I was just angry at you saying I was a consolation prize."

"I didn't say that!"

"Yes you did." Ukyou glared at Ranma. "You said I was someone to fall 
back on if Akane ever dumped you."

Ranma remained quiet for a moment, and then sighed. "I should've tried 
to explain it to you before. I should've at least explained it after 
the wedding attempt."

"Why didn't you?"

"Remember when I walked in the day after the attempt?"

Ukyou nodded. "Yes, that was when I apologized for bombing it."

"Yeah. Well, I wasn't really paying attention when you said it. I had 
just overheard Akane and Nabiki talking and heard Akane was bribed to 
marry me. If I hadn't heard that, I probably wouldn't have forgiven you 
that soon, but would've explained that I wanted to marry Akane 
someday."

"You were just scared that Akane didn't love you."

Ranma looked indigent for a second, but then looked down. "Yeah. I 
was."

Ukyou shook her head. "You strung me along because you couldn't face 
being rejected alone. You're a real jackass, you know."

"You're telling me you wouldn't be happy if Akane ever did dump me and 
I went to you."

"Of course, I'd be happy. You should've at least told me that you were 
in love with Akane... That I only had a chance if she dumped you."

Ranma leveled his gaze at Ukyou. "If I did do that, you would've done 
everything in your power to see that she did, wouldn't you?"

"No. I..." Ukyou withered under Ranma's glare. "Yes, I would."

"I couldn't just tell you, because it would've hurt you and I had 
enough trouble with Akane without you getting desperate trying to 
separate us."

Ukyou sighed. "I can see your point. But what you did was still wrong."

"And what you did was wrong too."

"Ranma, I'll forgive you for being a jerk, if you forgive me for what I 
did."

Ranma didn't answer for a moment. He saw Akane standing behind Ukyou, 
glaring at him. He sighed. "I forgive you."

Akane smiled.

Ukyou smiled. "Friends?" Ranma nodded, and was promptly hugged by 
Ukyou.

Akane's smile twitched.

Ranma pushed Ukyou away. "I suggest you don't hug me though. Akane 
might not like it."

Ukyou frowned. "I can't see why hugging my friend would be a problem. 
She just has to learn to not be jealous."

"Hello, Ukyou," Akane said with a little coldness to her voice.

"Er, hi, Akane," Ukyou said nervously. "Um, can you forgive me for what 
I've done?"

"If you can forgive me for marrying Ranma?"

Ukyou hesitated for a moment. "Sure. Friends?"

Akane nodded. "Friends." She was promptly hugged by Ukyou too. The hug 
didn't exactly seem to be friendly, giving Akane the impression all 
might not have been forgiven.

---------------------------------------

Akari and Ryoga finally returned to the gym after getting some hot 
water. Akari went over to help Akane and Ukyou clean. Ryoga wanted to 
talk to Ranma, and was thankful she was off to the side by herself at 
the moment. "Hey Ranma," he called.

"What is it?" onna-Ranma asked.

"I want to know something, why didn't you go all out?" Ryoga asked.

 Kuno thought, overhearing them talking when he 
passed by them. He stopped to listen in.

"What do you mean?"

"You were holding back. You weren't fighting the way you were in 
China."

Ranma remained silent for a moment. "I really didn't see a point in the 
fight."

"He hurt Akane. That isn't a good enough reason?"

"Well, it is... but I guess..." Ranma stared at her hands. "I didn't 
want to risk killing him."

"Ranma, he's a dangerous opponent. He wouldn't hesitate to kill you. 
It'd be honorable and right to kill him in battle."

Ranma glared at Ryoga. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"What do you mean by that?" Ryoga asked, looking confused.

"Even with all the times you've screamed death threats at me, you 
haven't killed anyone, have you?"

"No I haven't. I don't understand your point."

"My point is that you've never delivered a fatal blow. You've never cut 
short someone's life."

 Kuno smiled victoriously.

"What are you talking about? You've never killed anyone."

Kuno frowned.

"What about Saffron? His body may have been reborn as an infant, but 
what of his mind? The Saffron I fought is not the same one that's alive 
now."

Kuno smiled again.

Ryoga was at a loss for words. He hadn't give much thought to what 
happened to Saffron after the final battle at Jusendo. "So... um, why 
are you reluctant to kill someone like Pantyhose?"

"As much as I hate him, the worst he's done is hurt Akane. That isn't a 
good enough reason to kill him."

"I say it is."

"I doubt you'll say that after you've killed someone." Ranma's voice 
was frigid.

Ryoga couldn't think of anything more to say.

Kuno, realizing he wasn't going to hear anymore from them, decided to 
approach Nabiki with this information.

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"Why aren't you cleanin' da gym?" Principal Kuno asked.

Nabiki looked at him without any emotion. "I wasn't involved in the 
fight, so I have no reason to clean. I am only here because my date and 
my family are still here."

"Well, you do understand dat since Tachi was involved in da fight, 
you won't be awarded first place."

"I don't really care about the prize, seeing it holds no monetary 
value. I'm happy enough to know I've technically won that contest."

Principal Kuno glared at this cold girl that was dating his son. He 
would've liked to have seen some emotion from her.

"Nabiki, I shall have words with you," Kuno said, grabbing Nabiki 
and leading her away.

"What is it, Kuno-chan?"

"I have discovered proof of Ranma's evil."

"Oh, and what is this 'proof?'"

"I have heard the vile Saotome admit to murder."

Nabiki blinked. Her mind raced, considering the possibility and who 
it might have been. "And did he say who he killed?"

"I believe he said it was Saffron."

Nabiki gave a sigh of relief, shaking her head. "Well, Ranma did, sort 
of, kill him, but he wasn't given a choice. Saffron was preventing Ranma 
from getting some special water that Akane needed or she would die. 
Saffron's ability to regenerate meant the only way Ranma could defeat 
him was with a fatal blow. If he didn't do it, Akane would have died. 
So, to save the girl he loves, Saffron had to die."

Nabiki then glared at Kuno. "He was given more than enough reason to 
kill Saffron. Saffron had already nearly killed Akane once before and 
was fighting Ranma with the intent of killing him. Ranma had more 
reason to kill Saffron than you do in wanting to kill Pantyhose or 
Ranma."

"I-I see." Kuno stood there staring at Nabiki. "He has killed in combat 
to save the life of Akane. A noble gesture indeed." Kuno turned and 
left.

---------------------------------------

Everyone gathered after finishing cleaning the gym. "What are we going 
to do about those two?" Akane asked, pointing at Pantyhose and 
Happosai.

Ranma grinned. "I have an idea. I need some of Kodachi's paralyzation 
roses, some large boxes..."

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Monday - Lunch Period

The prom had set people abuzz with amazement. Few could believe that 
Daisuke and Sayuri were awarded first prize winners of the dance 
contest. Even more unbelievable for them was that Kuno and Nabiki were 
not only dating, but had tied with Ranma and Akane as the actual first 
place winners, if none of them had been involved in the fight. 

Several rumors had been spread as a result of the prom. One of those 
rumors caused Akane to glare angrily at Yuka as she sat under a tree 
about to eat lunch. "How could you do that? I thought better of you!"

Yuka sweated nervously. "What are you talking about?"

"What you did with Hiro, that's what I'm talking about."

Yuka started to become angry. "He had it coming."

"What?! How could you say that?"

"Because he was a jerk."

"You did that with him because he was a jerk?!"

"You've probably done that to Ranma."

Akane faultered. "That-that's different."

"How so?"

"Because I'm married to him."

Yuka looked at Akane, shocked. "You've done that to him after 
you married him?"

Akane looked at Yuka strangely. "Of course."

Yuka paused for a second. "I don't think we're having the same 
argument. What is it you think I've done?"

"Had sex with Hiro."

"What?! No!" Yuka looked extremely disgusted. "I'd never do that 
with him. He tried to rape me, so I kneed him where it really hurt."

"That's not what the rumor horde has been spreading. Hiro has been 
saying you did it with him."

"Since when have you put stock in what they say?"

Akane shook her head. "It's just that I know you want to have a baby, 
and you might have done it with him for that reason."

"I did think about it. I almost did." Yuka sighed. "But when I had the 
chance, I remembered what you and my Mom said about being too young. 
For now I'll just be happy to be an aunt to your child."

"Good." Akane eyed Yuka skeptically. "You're sure you didn't have sex 
with him?"

"Of course, I'm sure," Yuka said bitterly. "What am I going to do about 
that jerk? He's not going to get away with this."

Akane grabbed Yuka's arm, saying, "Let's get Nabiki to help."

"I don't have any money to spend on your sisters 'help.'"

Akane scowled slightly, dragging Yuka along. Akane was a little 
surprised to find Nabiki eating lunch with Kuno. She didn't expect 
Nabiki to show any form of confirmation that she was dating Kuno. 
"Nabiki, we need your help with something," Akane called.

"Would this help have anything to do with what Hiro is saying about 
her?" Nabiki asked.

Akane nodded.

"Is it true?"

"No," Yuka said fiercely.

"Do you have any means to prove it?"

"Um... why should I have prove it?"

Nabiki shook her head. "Because he already has most of the school 
believing it. It's now his word against yours. I hate to say it, but 
his word carries more weight around here."

"May I ask, what it is that you are talking about?" Kuno asked.

"Hiro has been saying that he had sex with her after the prom," Nabiki 
answered.

"He dare claim such fallacy?"

"He is," intoned the girls.

"I shall smite him for thee."

"Hold on Kuno-chan. Running off and beating him to a pulp may be fun 
for you, but wouldn't address the wrong he's done," Nabiki said with a 
business air.

"Thou will help her against his foul lies."

"Now you know I don't do anything for free."

"I don't have any money to spend," Yuka said.

"I'm sure I can make it worth Nabiki's while to help you," Kuno said 
flatly.

"Okay. Now how to prove he's lying?" Nabiki asked herself.

"We could try and catch him in his lie," Akane suggested.

Nabiki thought for a second. "It's really hard to do that. The only way 
I can think of doing it is if we can get Hiro to describe how it felt, 
and then get someone who knows what it's like to point out he's lying."

"Well, um, Ranma could do that," Akane said, blushing slightly.

"He could, but I doubt you want him to since he would have to describe 
what it's like to make love with you to prove it."

Akane blushed and looked down. "I-I guess not..."

"I shall make him admit to the untruths that he has spread," Kuno said.

"Intimidate him to confess." Nabiki grinned as a plan came together in 
her mind. "Akane, I'd like to get Ranma's help on this. We'll make him 
sing like a bird."

"He certainly can hit the high notes," Yuka grinned.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "How would you know this?"

"Well, he tried to rape me, so I kneed him in very bad spot." Yuka 
raised her knee for emphasis.

Kuno squirmed a little at the insinuation.

---------------------------------------

Several guys were gathered around Hiro, listening as he supposedly 
described what it was like to have sex. 

"...And then she was moaning in a rather high-pitched voice," Hiro 
continued his description as Kuno appeared behind him.

"Tis not what I heard. I heard it was you who emitted a high pitch 
noise. A noise not coming from the throes of passion, but the knee of 
a maiden pure." Kuno sneered, "You are the lowest creature I've had the 
displeasure of meeting. I demand you rescind your lies, or I must smite 
thee."

"They are not lies. The little slut was an easy score," Hiro said. 

Hiro noticed Kuno setting himself into a battle stance. Not being a 
martial artist, Hiro decided his best option was to run. He sped away 
quickly as fast as he could with Kuno chasing after him. Hiro stopped 
abruptly when he collided with something and fell.

"You know, for once, I actually agree with Kuno," Ranma said, standing 
above Hiro. Ranma cracked a couple knuckles. "Now why don't you tell me 
what really happened."

Hiro started to describe his version of the story, the one where he had 
sex with Yuka and even included some description of what it supposedly 
was like.

Ranma shook his head. "Now I know you're lying. I can't explain why 
you're wrong `cause Akane would hate it, but I know you haven't had sex 
with anyone." 

"So tell us what truly occurred or incur our wrath," Kuno sneered.

Hiro looked at the two martial artist looming over him. He gulped. "I 
told you the truth."

Ranma picked up a rock and crushed it. "No you haven't."

Hiro started to sweat. He couldn't admit he lied, because he valued his 
manhood possibly more than Ranma did when he arrived Nerima. Admitting 
to lying would make him look foolish and unmanly, but not admitting to 
lying would cause him a considerable amount of pain.

Ranma grew impatient. "Kuno, can I see your bokken for a second?"

"What do you want with it?" Kuno asked, handing it over.

"Just a little practice."

Ranma started striking out with the bokken above and to the left of 
Hiro. The speed of the strikes increase to the point the air pressure 
was tearing chunks off a tree several feet away.

Kuno sneered at Ranma. "Copying my tricks now?"

"Sort of. The basis of this trick is similar to Kachuu Tenshin 
Amaguriken. Your trick is to use rapid strikes placed in a controlled 
circular motion to produce a small tornado like effect." Ranma looked 
and saw Hiro making a run for it. Ranma flung the bokken so it would 
land just in front of Hiro, stopping him cold. "Now don't be an idiot 
and just admit to lying."

"Why don't you admit to having sex with your other fiancees before 
getting married?"

Ranma blinked. "Excuse me? I've only done it with Akane."

"I knew you weren't honorable," Kuno glared at Ranma.

"Who are you going to believe: me or that liar?"

"I am more inclined to believe him than you."

Hiro took the chance to run only to find a fist in his face. "I am the 
only girl Ranma has ever made love to," Akane sneered. "And, I am 
positive of that, Kuno."

"Are you sure he has not deceived you?" Kuno asked.

"Yes." Akane turned her gaze back to Hiro, who was lying on the ground. 
"Now you've not only insulted the honor of my friend, but my husband as 
well." Akane picked Hiro up by the collar. "You will now tell us the 
truth as to what happened after you left the prom with Yuka."

Running from Kuno and Ranma was proving to be a mistake, a rather 
painful one as Akane's fist pointed out. His only hope to escape any 
more physical pain was to tell the truth, at least partially. "I, ah, 
walked her home. N-nothing happened."

Akane glared at him. "That's closer to the truth, but give us the 
details of what happened."

"I-I walked her to my house. We started kissing. I tried to go for 
more, but she didn't want to and left."

"To make this perfectly clear: Did you have sex with Yuka?"

"No."

"Did you try to rape her?" 

"Yes." The look in Akane's eyes would've made him give the same answer 
even if it wasn't true. 

"Did you get all that?" Akane asked.

"Every word," Nabiki said, stepping out from hiding and holding a tape 
recorder. "Now Hiro, if you don't want this tape played..." Nabiki 
grinned evilly, "you will inform the school that you were lying. Yuka 
will come up with some additional punishment later. Once that occurs, 
you will get this tape back."

Hiro just wanted to curl up and die. If Nabiki, Akane, Ranma, and Kuno 
were against him, he might as well be dead.

---------------------------------------
Days later

Dr. Tofu sat in the corner of his office. He had not opened his clinic 
since the prom. He wasn't quite sure what day it was. All he knew was 
the potion that he got from Cologne had gotten to the point where he 
had almost slapped Kasumi, and he wasn't about to risk hurting her or 
anyone else. 

"Dr. Tofu?" a woman's voice called through the clinic.

"K-Kasumi, go away. I don't want to hurt you," Dr. Tofu replied.

"I won't go away. I want to help you."

"Please go," he cried.

Kasumi finally saw Dr. Tofu, shaking her head at the sight. "I know 
about Cologne's potion. If it hasn't worn off yet, you should be 
working to cure it, and not sitting, here, in the dark."

"There isn't a cure."

"If there is a potion that causes people to have their reactions become 
negative, then there should be a means to make a potion that turns 
their reaction positive."

Dr. Tofu blinked.  "You're right. I 
should try to fix this." 

Kasumi smiled at him.

"Does this mean I'll get another chance if I can find a cure?"

"Yes." Kasumi saw him return her smile, but then also saw his glasses 
fogging.  

Dr. Tofu started laughing and dancing with Betty-chan. He then went 
through the wall and out into Nerima.

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The Jusenkyo guide looked at the package he received strangely. It was 
a large crate with some air holes. He looked at a partial note written 
on the crater, [Dump contents of crate into Nannichaun. Do n...] The 
remainder of the note was damaged to the point of being unreadable.

The guide shrugged and sent his daughter to fetch a crowbar. She 
returned with it and he used the crowbar to open the crate. Inside was 
Tarou in human form with a bouquet of black roses on his chest. The 
guide picked up the flowers. 

Tarou started coughing. He then quickly stood up, and shouted, "THAT 
CROSS-DRESSSER DIES!!!!"

"Good Sir, you want to know where Nannichaun is?" the guide asked.

Tarou look at the guide with a malevolent grin. "No, but I'd like to 
know where some other pools are." 

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Happosai opened his eyes and screamed as he found himself in a crate 
and staring at a VERY ugly woman holding some black roses.

"Sister, do you think he'll be any good? He's pretty old," the woman 
asked.

"I don't know. Hey, isn't he the guy that blew up our tea shop?" 
another woman asked.

"Yes. That worthless step-daughter of mine left for that strange girl 
after he destroyed our shop. We haven't been able to get anything done 
without Konatsu," another lady said bitterly.

Happosai freaked at the sight of the three ugliest women he's ever seen 
in his entire existence. He had never wanted to see them again. 

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Author's Note:

Hiro may appear again from time to time, but he is just a third rate 
character.

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