The Insanity Continues

By Lord Archive

Volume 4 - One of Those Weeks

Chapter 1 - Mondays Are Hell!

Characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Viz Video, ect..., and are 
used without permission. I'm only borrowing them. I'll return them. I 
can't afford the overdue charge Nabiki insists on.

This series deals with a married Ranma and Akane, so some sexual 
references and innuendoes may occur.

This volume is a little different than the previous volumes. The 
volume is more of unrelated insanity. Also, one character from Maison 
Ikkoku makes a guest appearance in this volume. 

-----------------------------

Akane's Diary Entry: 
February 6th, 1994.

Dear Diary,

	The past week has been rather quiet. That worries me. No new 
martial artists, no fights, no bizarre contests, nothing. While I 
like the peace, I know it'll end. This is going to be a bad week. I 
know I'm being a little paranoid, but living with Ranma it's more of 
survival instinct. The fact Dad and Ranma's parents are staying for 
the week and Mousse is now using Happosai's room helps support my bad 
week theory.

	I'm showing signs of morning sickness a little sooner than 
Dr. Tofu expected. I can expect to start throwing up in the next 
couple days. Oh, joy. I'll have to see him soon to make sure it's not 
a sign of a complication with my pregnancy.

	I've quit the volley ball team. I know I didn't really have to, 
but Dr. Tofu said I had to watch how much I exercise and that I'll 
start being a little weaker physically. That means I'll no longer be 
able to put all my effort into playing the game. If I can't put 110% 
into it, I might as well not even try it. Ranma is happy about the 
decision. I just hope he doesn't start to get even more protective 
of me, he's already starting to get on my nerves.

	Ukyou is reopening her restaurant Friday, and she has Nabiki 
helping her attract customers for it. It promises to be a big party. I 
hope nothing spoils it, but I'm willing to bet Ukyou's will be closed 
Saturday for repairs. I'll try to not be the cause of it, but I can't 
promise it. Despite Ukyou saying she's forgiven me for marrying Ranma, 
I really doubt she has. She's been colder to me now than she was when 
Ranma and I faked being married last year.

-----------------------------

The young substitute teacher approached his new assignment, teaching 
at Furinkan High.  
He sighed.  Godai's thoughts were interrupted when he heard 
someone yelling.

"Get back here, you JERK!!" Akane yelled.

"I said I'm sorry already!" Ranma yelled back, dodging a brick that 
Akane had thrown.

"Sorry isn't good enough! I spent all morning cooking breakfast, and 
you couldn't appreciate it!!"

"Hey! I only threw up because you did!"

"Baka! That was morning sickness!" Akane growled, throwing her book-
bag, which Ranma failed to dodged.

 Godai's mind boggled as he walked into a 
telephone pole.

Akane picked up her book-bag off her dazed husband. "Come on, let's 
get to class."

Ranma shook his head and followed, muttering, "Uncute."

Godai peeled himself off the telephone pole.  He shook his head to clear his thoughts and 
walked into the school.

-----------------------------

"Here comes a sucker just waiting to be robbed," a masked man 
commented.

"I don't think we should rob him," another man replied.

"Why not?"

"Well, every time we try to rob him, someone interferes and we get our 
asses kicked."

"You're just being paranoid," a third masked man commented.

"We've tried to rob him twelve times, and NONE of them succeeded and 
you're telling me I'm being paranoid!"

"Shut up. The chances against him being protected today are way too 
high. He's a sitting duck," the fourth masked man said firmly.

"You all owe money to Nabiki, don't you?" the second masked man asked.

The other three replied with a nod. Then the four of them committed to 
the attack, and pulled their target into the alleyway.

"Oh, no. Not again," Gosunkugi muttered while he was being dragged.

"All right, voodoo-boy, hand over all your money," the first masked 
man demanded.

"Or we'll have to hurt you," added the fourth.

"I can't give you my money. Nabiki will have my hide if I don't pay 
her today," Gosunkugi pleaded.

"We don't care," commented the third masked man.

"How dare you threaten that wonderful, brave, little man?" a voice 
asked behind the attackers.

They turned and looked at the leotard clad Black Rose holding her 
ribbon and poised for attack.

 the four thought gloomily.

"You must be punished!" Kodachi attacked, and her targets ran like 
their lives depended on it.

Gosunkugi stared in shock at Kodachi.

"Miserable vermin." She sighed. "Oh, my dear Gos-chan, are you all 
right?"

 He fainted.

"Oh, dear. If I see that trash again, I must hurt them severely. Now I 
have to get him some help." Kodachi picked up Gosunkugi and took him 
to Furinkan High's nurses' station. She was a little surprised that 
Kuno wasn't there.

-----------------------------

Godai walked into what was suppose to be the principal's office, but 
seemed more like... Hawaii?

"Aloha! You must be Godai, the substitute teacher, yeah?"

"Ah, yes," Godai answered, staring dumbly at the man with a palm tree 
growing out of his head.

"Now, keiki, you must be ready to face some baaad students. One in 
particular is a really bad coconut. Keep your eye on Saotome Ranma, 
and any punishment you want to place on him is okay with me." The 
Hawaiian reject grinned and handed the young sensei his teaching 
assignment. "You better hurry to class. You don't want to be late."

Godai nodded and left.  He looked at the office sign and read the 
principal's name. 

-----------------------------

Godai entered the last class before lunch. He looked at the seating 
chart and was a bit dismayed. Saotome Ranma was seated in the back 
corner of class, and he was the one beamed in the head this morning 
by the girl sitting towards the middle front. He looked at her name 
and hoped it was indeed Saotome Akane, and that the scribbled out 
Tendo was her maiden name. He did not like the idea of teaching 
either of them.

Godai was a bit surprised that Ranma was not wearing the school 
uniform, and that one of the girls in class was wearing a guy's 
uniform. He decided to ignore it and ask the principal or the 
disciplinarian about it later.

The young sensei tried to ignore his misgivings about the students he 
had just met, and began class. He got the normal range of responses. 
Most of them had a glazed look. A few actually looked interested. One 
girl looked like she might be developing a crush on him.  Ranma, however, had fallen asleep.

Principal Kuno's warnings about this student still ringing in his 
head, Godai went over to Ranma's desk and shock him. "Saotome, this is 
NOT the place to sleep."

"Sure it is for him. It's not like Akane let's him get any sleep at 
home," a student quipped.

Godai spun around to see who said that, but couldn't tell. Most of the 
class was laughing now, while Akane slumped down into her seat 
red-faced.

"Quiet!" Godai said in the most commanding voice he could muster. The 
class quieted down to snickering. The teacher went back to trying to 
wake his snoozing student.

"Try splashing him with water," another student suggested.

Godai thought it was strange that comment seemed to be a joke, but 
decided to try it anyway.

The entire class quieted down when Godai got the glass of water. They 
seemed to wait on baited breath as they watch him. The teacher started 
to pour the water on the slumbering student's head.

Ranma awoke with a start. "Whatcha do THAT for?!" 

Godai stared at the now female student with eyes bigger than his head. 
"Wha... what the..."

The class erupted in laughter.

Ranma adjusted her shirt and grumbled. She didn't bother to say 
anything to the teacher.

Everyone waited for the teacher to regain some semblance of coherent 
thought. Fifteen minutes later the lunch bell rung. The class left the 
shell-shocked teacher who was still doing a great impersonation of a 
statue.

-----------------------------

Ukyou sat under a tree, eating lunch alone. 

"Aloha, wahine. You know being out of dress code is kapu," principal 
Kuno grinned.

"I'm wearing a school uniform," Ukyou shot back.

"Yeah, but my little wahine, you wearin' a guy's uniform. You're a 
girl and should be dressed like all the other wahine's." Principal 
Kuno pulled out something that looked like a girl's Furinkan dress 
uniform, but it had a gaudy Hawaiian pattern. "You must put this on, 
or da big kahuna can't let you back to class."

Ukyou looked at him like he was insane. "Are you completely color 
blind? That isn't a school uniform."

"Oh, but it is an acceptable school uniform!"

"Not to me. Go annoy someone else," Ukyou said angrily.

"You must follow the rules, wahine," the principal insisted.

"The school rules, not yours." Ukyou, fed up with his nonsense, 
whacked him with her combat spatula. Moments later a splash was heard 
from the other side of the school. "Damn, he fell in the pool."

-----------------------------

Ranma and Akane walked home from school, both feeling it had been long 
day. 

"Oh, Akane, I meant to ask you before, why did ya let that teacher 
splash me?" Ranma asked.

"You deserved it for falling asleep in class," Akane snapped.  She stopped 
just as they arrived at Dr. Tofu's clinic. "I need to check something. 
I'll see you later."

Ranma shrugged. "Don't be late for diner." With that he rushed off.

 Akane entered the clinic, and announced herself at the door. 

Akane blinked when Dr. Tofu enter the room, glasses fogged. 
"A-A-Akane, what are you doing here of all places?"

"Um, is Kasumi here?" the young Saotome asked.

"K-K-k..." Dr. Tofu had the look of pure bliss on his face and passed 
out.

Akane didn't know what to make of it. She first picked up the doctor 
and deposited him on one of the examination tables. She then looked 
around a little bit and saw an opened journal. Concerned for the 
doctor, she looked at the journal. [Potion of Friendliness,] it read 
at the top of the page. 

Akane shock her head. 

Akane sat down, and tried to think about what to do once the doctor 
woke up.

-----------------------------

Ranma continued to walk home with his usual troubled thoughts, Akane 
and their unborn child. He became sidetracked when he noticed the 
street in front of him was littered with unconscious guys.

Ranma walked over to a tree to talk to the only conscious guy of the 
lot. "Hey, Daisuke, having fun?"

"Yes. Loads of fun. Can you get me down?" Daisuke said, hanging 
upside down from the tree.

"What exactly happened here?"

"We tried to defeat Shampoo. She won."

"You tried to defeat her?" Ranma asked, shaking his head.

"Well, this trap was meant for her."

Ranma chuckled dryly, and then jumped straight up and broke the rope. 
Daisuke fell on his head. "Daisuke, do yourself a favor, and forget 
about trying to beat her. Even if by a miracle you win, do you think 
you can live like a housewife, 'cause that's what you'll be."

Daisuke rubbed his head. "So that's why you didn't chose her."

"No, that was just one of a long list of reasons. I'll see ya later."

"See ya," Daisuke replied, finding it hard to stand after hanging 
upside down for several minutes.

Ranma walked off and soon arrived at home. He noticed Akari standing 
out front with a lost expression on her face talking to his mother. 
"Hi, Mom, Akari. What's up?"

"Hello, Ranma," Nodoka greeted him warmly.

Akari smiled weakly at him. "Hi, Ranma. Um, Ryoga and I were out for 
a walk and... well... I sort of lost him. Since we were close by, I 
thought he might have come here."

Ranma chuckled. "Aw, you know Ryoga, he'll turn up in a couple days."

"I know," she said meekly.

"If any of us see him, one of us will bring him get back home," Nodoka 
said.

"Thank you." Akari looked a bit relieved.

"Ranma, where's Akane?" Nodoka asked.

"She had to see Dr. Tofu about somethin'," Ranma answered.

"Okay. Akari, would you like to stay for a while?"

"No. I should get back home soon or Katsunishiki might come looking 
for me," Akari replied.

"Why don't you walk her home then?" Nodoka asked Ranma.

Ranma shrugged. "I guess."

"There's no need. Really," Akari protested.

"A young girl, like you, shouldn't walk by herself," Nodoka insisted.

"Okay, thanks."

Ranma walked Akari to Ryoga's house, making idle small talk along the 
way. He noticed a sumo wrestler that was watching him and briefly 
wondered if he'd have to fight him soon, but his thoughts turned to 
thinking about what his mother was cooking for dinner.

-----------------------------

Dr. Tofu woke up with a smile on his face. To him the world was filled 
with love and happiness. All was right with the world.

"Oh, Dr. Tofu, you're awake," he heard the cute Saotome Akane say with 
a hint of disappointment.

"A-Akane, what are you..." Dr. Tofu began to say.

"Now Dr. Tofu, why did you take that friendliness potion?"

Dr. Tofu cringed at her tone. "B-but Cologne's potion. It..."

"It had worn off already. Didn't you notice that?"

"I almost s-slapped..." Dr. Tofu's world was suddenly filled with 
pain. He started to cry.

Akane sighed. "I know that. But when, ah, my sister came to see you 
after that, you weren't under the effects anymore."

"I wasn't?" the doctor questioned.

"Right. Cologne's potion had worn off. I'm going to take your notes on 
your potion to her and see if she can help with it." Akane leveled her 
gaze at the doctor. "I suggest you stay here, and not try to fix 
this."

"O-okay," Dr. Tofu answered her.

"Now do you have any appointments?"

"Well, Mizu-san has a check up on Friday for her wrist. Otherwise, 
no."

"Good. I suggest you don't take any patients until this wears off." 
Akane grabbed Dr. Tofu's notes and turned to leave. "I'll stop by 
later."

"Um, Akane, was their some reason you came here in the first place?" 
Dr. Tofu asked, focusing on being a doctor to try and be in control.

"Oh, um, I've started experiencing morning sickness. You said it 
shouldn't start until I'm about six weeks pregnant, so I was 
worried...." Akane's voice became rather nervous.

"Well, it isn't that unusual to start in the fourth week, but it could 
be a sign of a problem," Dr. Tofu said in a serious tone, his mind 
currently focused on the problem at hand. He went over to his files 
and pulled out Akane's rather sizable one. He looked it over for a 
couple minutes, not finding anything in the previous test that could 
be the cause. 

Akane watched him nervously, and praying no one would walk in while he 
was holding her medical file.

Dr. Tofu tried to think about possible causes. "Now, Akane, how have 
you been eating lately?"

"Fine. I guess."

"Have you been doing most of the cooking?"

"Yes," Akane replied, wanting to know why he asked that.

"Have you improved to the point you're as good as K-K-K..."

"No," Akane interrupted him.

Dr. Tofu regained his composure. "Ahem, while I'm sure your cooking is 
fine, maybe it'd be better if you let her cook."

"Why shouldn't I cook for my family?" Akane asked a bit upset.

"Now Akane, you must realize that when you eat, your not just feeding 
yourself now. You are also feeding your child."

"I know that. So what's your point?" 

"Don't you want to give your child the best food possible?"

"Yes."

"So shouldn't the better cook prepare the food for you?"

"But Dr. Tofu, if I'm not a good enough cook now, when will I ever 
be good enough for my children?"

"Akane, I didn't say you couldn't cook. You can still cook for your 
family and become a better cook. It's just that for now, perhaps 
someone who's already mastered cooking should prepare your meals."

"Thank you, Dr. Tofu. I-I'll follow your advice." Akane walked out of 
the clinic, trying to fight her tears.

Dr. Tofu watched her leave, and set down her medical file. He then 
collapsed to his knees and started to cry at hurting such a beautiful 
and lovely young woman.

-----------------------------

Kasumi hummed as she cleaned the stairs. It amazed her how she was 
able to clean the house when she was the only one really cleaning 
after Ranma arrived. Now with Nodoka and Akane helping keep the house 
clean and cook, she still found chores to do. She wondered how she 
ever kept up, especially when she had to do so many wall repairs.

Akane returned home, and called sadly, "I'm home."

"Welcome back, Akane. Is something the matter?" Kasumi asked, noticing 
a couple tears on Akane's face.

Akane looked at the floor. "I'm not a good enough cook for my child."

"Why do you say that? You're food is perfectly fine," Kasumi said 
reassuringly, even though Akane's food left a lot to be desired.

"It may be 'fine,' but it isn't great. If someone should cook for me 
and my child, it should be you or Auntie Saotome. I'm just not good 
enough yet." Akane walked around Kasumi on her way to her room. "Oh, 
don't go to Dr. Tofu's for a while. He took a potion that did the 
opposite of Cologne's."

"Oh, my! But Cologne's potion already wore off."

Akane sighed. "I know. A long time ago I hoped he would've reacted to 
me as he did today. Fortunately for Ranma, he didn't."

-----------------------------

It was now late into the evening and a man leaned against a large 
metal tower. He hated his curses, and recently wondered which one was 
worse. Right now he'd say his direction sense. Thoroughly disgusted 
with himself by getting lost while walking with Akari, Ryoga shouted, 
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?!?!" He then walked off.

A green haired girl called to her friend, "Come on, Hikaru. We don't
have much time left."

A red haired girl tore her gaze from the cute but strange guy and 
replied, "Coming."

The two girls, along with a blue haired girl entered an elevator of
a large metal tower.

-----------------------------

Author's Notes:
Maison Ikkoku residents all have a number in their name relating to 
their room number. Godai has go in his name which means five. Kuno 
means nine abilities. Fortunately for Godai, there aren't that many 
apartments there.

The three girls in that last scene are from another anime series 
copyrighted by Clamp. You'll have to guess which series. If you think
the metal tower is the Eiffel Tower- you're seriously mistaken.

Thanks to Freemage, David Tatum, and all my other pre-readers.

It may be a little while before I write chapter 2 of this volume. 

C&C and MSTs appreciated.
If you want to send them privately, send them to archive@mich.com
Previous chapters and my other fics can be found at 
http://www.mich.com/~archive

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