BLITZ
by CrazyFic
crazyfic@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and its characters were created by Rumiko
Takahashi. Any other disclaimer used in other fics applies to this
one.
If you are looking for hot, wild sex scenes involving the Ranma cast, I
suggest going to 'http://fanfic.tass-anime.com/Lemon/' or
'http://anime.muck.com/~sakura/ranma.html' (though be warned for almost
all of them involve Ranma/Akane and can get rather redundant). If you
are looking for something that is not quite wild, not quite hot and has
not that much sex, read on.
C&C and MST definitely welcome
*****
Inside the Tendo Dojo, a whole group of partially drunk and tired
people was waking up. They noticed that there were a few things wrong
with the picture. One, they were all in the dojo. Two, some of them
were partially naked (this little fact resulted in some people feeling
sick). Three, there were a lot of empty sake bottles lying around.
Four, every one of them seemed to have a certain type of ring on one of
their fingers. All of this resulted in a not-so-happy reaction.
People screaming "What happened?!", "What am I doing here?!" and "Who
am I married to?" were heard.
Finally, Genma held up his hands in hope of having everyone quiet.
"There was only one wedding last night and that was between me and
Nodoka. We renewed our wedding vows."
Hearing this, everyone else gave a sigh of relief though some did
wonder why would Nodoka do such a thing. One of the greatest mysteries
of life indeed.
Genma, though, wasn't finished. "Then we passed out the sake and
everyone else decided to get married," he said with a smile on his
face.
The reaction to this was rather expected in such a situation.
"WHAT?!!!!"
Thinking that they didn't hear what he said, Genma decided to repeat
it. "I said..."
"We heard what you said you moron," shouted someone from the group.
"But who did we get married to?"
Nodoka decided to intervene. "Each one of you has a ring that only one
other person among you has. That person is the one you married."
Everyone started to search for the person that they got hitched up
with.
Dr. Tofu noticed a hand with the same ring as his. Jumping to
conclusions (especially when remembering parts of what happened the
night before), his glasses started to fog up and he started to grin
like a madman. "Ka... Ka.. Kasumi... we're ma.. married. Isn't that
wond.... you're not Kasumi!!"
"Of course not doctor," replied Yuka. "But you're a great lover. I
remember every bit of what happened last night. It was wonderful."
With this she gave the doctor a quick peck on the cheek.
"...." was all the doctor could reply with.
"Oh my!" said Kasumi after seeing the scene involving the doctor.
"Then... who am I married to?" There was a hint of sadness in her
voice. Sure, the doctor was rather eccentric and such a thing usually
did not result in a happy marriage or love life. But there was
something about him that made her feel warm and fuzzy all over.
"Umm... excuse me, miss? But, do we have the same ring?"
Kasumi turned around and saw a boy that looked familiar and yet
different at the same time. She then looked at his ring and noticed
that it was similar to hers. "Yes we do. My name is Kasumi Tendo.
And you are?"
"Ryu Kumon. Maybe we should first talk about this."
"Yes. Talking would be good. Better off in a place with less people
around."
Ryu nods and follows Kasumi back into the house.
"Pray tell, where is the beautiful seed Akane Tendo? Her husband is
looking for her in his efforts to take her from the vile Saotome and
help her bloom into a magnificent flower."
"Brother dear, what are you doing with my Ranma-sama's ring?"
"This ring has nothing to do with the villain Saotome. The other half
is owned by none other than the fair Akane Tendo."
"Then why, pray tell, do I have the exact same ring?"
Suddenly both Kunou siblings realized something.
"Brother dear, I know you have some weird, twisted thoughts of your
loves."
"And what, dear sibling, does that have to do with this situa... urk!"
Having his neck caught by the ribbon of his twisted sister, the fair
and noble Tatewaki Kunou could not continue his speech.
"Touch me and die!" was all that the sweet yet insane sister said.
At the moment Ryouga Hibiki was more lost than he ever was before. He
still didn't know who he was married to. Maybe he was finally able to
tell his love for Akane. Maybe he decided to give his unconditional
love to Akari, who loved him back. Maybe it was Ukyou, she does look
rather cute. Maybe it was...
"Stop right there Ryouga."
Ryouga's train of thought was stopped as he looked up to see Nabiki.
"Or should I say husband?"
"Errr...."
"It's amazing," Nabiki continued "that someone as lost as you could
find your way around a woman's body so well."
Upon fully understanding what Nabiki said, blood started to come out
from his nose. It was suddenly stopped when Nabiki placed a towel on
it.
"Oh no you don't. You're not going to get away from me that easily.
You do realize that we're both married, especially after what went on
last night."
Ryouga tried to reply. "But I don't..."
"You'll learn to. And if you refuse to, there's some information of a
certain pig that a good deal of people will love to know about."
Nabiki then continued to talk of certain things he could do for her as
well as repeating the previous nights performance.
Ryouga didn't know how, but in some way this had to be Ranma's fault.
"I married a girl?!!" screamed a shocked Sayuri.
"I'm not actually a girl," Konatsu replied, "I just dress like one.
I've done so throughout my life." Seeing that Sayuri wasn't replying,
he continued. "Even though no one can match Ukyou-sama's beauty, you
are.. cute."
This got Sayuri out of her shock as she started to blush. "You think
so?"
Konatsu nodded. For a few minutes neither of them said a thing.
"So... what do we do now?"
"I... don't know," replied Sayuri.
At the moment Tsubasa was both glad and worried. His dear Ukyou could
be anywhere, looking for her one true love while not knowing that he
too was looking for her. "UKYOU," he screams, "WHERE ARE YOU?!"
It was at that moment when his hand that had the ring was grabbed by
another person.
"What a lovely hand belonging to a lovely lady. The same lady that I,
Mikado Sanzenin of the Golden Pair, am married to. Lets kiss to
celebrate our holy matrimony."
Seeing Mikado trying to kiss him, Tsubasa jumped out of the way and ran
off screaming with Mikado chasing him and shouting something of the
fates having them together.
Hiroshi noticed something strange about his best friend, Daisuke.
"Hey, Daisuke, why are you dressed up as a pig?"
"It's my wife. She thinks I look soooo cute in it."
"Azusa?" asked Hiroshi.
"Yup."
"So.... did you have sex with her?"
To this Daisuke smiled. "Of course. It was strange but good. Much
better than I would have expected."
"So now you can either stay with a girl that's a complete ditz, makes
you dress like an idiot, but offers good loving. Or you could get a
divorce. I'd choose the sex."
Daisuke nods. "Same here. By the way, do you know who you married?"
"Actually, no. Not sure who among the remaining girls I'm married
to." He notices Gosunkugi and decides to ask if he knows. "Hey,
Gosunkugi! Do you know whom you're married to? Cause I can't fin....
OH DEAR GOD!!" Both noticed that they had similar rings.
"Ummm.... my back's not sore. Is yours?"
Gosunkugi meekly shook his head.
"Phew!" both said at the same time, knowing that the sooner they get
this problem fixed, the better.
"Oh Shampoo, can't you see that this if fate's way of showing that
we're meant to be together?" said an ecstatic Mousse as he ran to give
her a hug.
As a reply, Shampoo knocked out Mousse with her bonbori. "Stupid
Mousse. Shampoo probably too drunk to know who she married. Good
thing you no try anything last night or Shampoo kill you right now.
Now Shampoo go find Airen."
Pantyhose Tarou was not a happy man when he saw who he was married to.
"What the hell am I doing married to you!" he screamed at Rouge.
"You probably wanted this PANTYHOSE!" replied an irate Rouge.
"You're still mad about the magnets aren't you? And why would I want
to marry you when I had better choices around me?"
This made Rouge angrier than before as she ran out to the garden pond.
In jumped Rouge. Out came Ashura, ready to beat up Tarou.
"Oh yeah?! Two can play this game!" Tarou grabbed the water bottle
and poured it over himself.
Before both cursed forms flew off to fight in another area, the Tendo
Dojo's roof and two walls were destroyed.
"My dojo!" cried out Soun.
Genma patted him on the back, hoping to take his attention from such
things. "Don't feel so bad Tendo. At least we got what we wanted from
this incident. By the way, did you know that you also have a wedding
ring?"
"You.. You're right," replied Soun as thoughts of his dojo was not his
major concern. "All the girls seem to be already paired off. Who am I
married to?"
"Right behind you... airen."
Soun didn't want to look behind him, but he had to. When he turned and
saw Cologne, he gave one of the loudest screams anyone has ever heard.
"I seem to remember you not acting like this last night. Though there
were some screams along the way."
Soun could not do anything as his mind went blank.
Feeling sorry for his friend, Genma gave him a few bottles of sake.
"Here Tendo. You'll probably need these."
As Soun drank the sake he chanted out "At least Ranma and Akane are
married." It was probably this and the sake that kept him from falling
dead on the spot.
This had the effect of having the other people in the room stop what
they were doing and turn towards Soun and Genma.
"You mean you didn't know?" said Genma with a smile, "Ranma and Akane
are married. We made sure of that after everyone got drunk. After
getting them married we sent them off to a hotel. And don't think of
following them cause even we don't know where they are. They're
probably having the time of their lives now." Genma finished off his
sentence with a chuckle.
Poor Genma. He should have realized what saying such a thing would
result in among these people.
*****
Meanwhile, in a hotel room far away from Nerima:
Ranma couldn't believe how great sex was. He and his wife just got
back to their senses a little while ago. But they both felt it would
be right if they gave each other as much pleasure as possible.
Pleasure that each of them could remember. Ranma felt that he was
getting the hang of it as he continued.
he thought as he continued.
The soft moans of his wife helped quicken his pace. When she felt her
climax coming, she threw her head back and held onto Ranma.
"Oh Ryouga!" she screamed in ecstasy.
This had the effect of Ranma going limp rather fast. "R.. Ryouga?" he
squeaked, unable to believe what he just heard.
"You don't sound like Ryouga." he wife said. She decided to turn on
the lights to see who she was with.
Ranma was shocked to see that he was in bed with Akari Unryuu. Neither
of them could say anything for some time.
"You know, you're pretty good," Akari finally said.
"Yeah. Same with you."
"I mean, you're just like Ryouga. Except better looking, better in
martial arts and almost as nice."
"Thanks. And you are better looking than Akane. Though no where near
in martial arts skill, you're much nicer than her and you can do so
many different things like farm, raise pigs, cook a descent meal."
Akari blushed hearing this. "So, do you want to leave? I can
understand it if you do."
"No. Do you?"
Akari shook her head. "No. What about after the week? Do you still
want to be with me?"
"I... think I do." Having said this, Ranma gave a sigh. "I'm not sure
what we're going to do about the other girls, but I promise you that
we'll make it out of this together."
With that he gave her a nice, long kiss and they both continued their
lovemaking.
*****
As for what was happening in another hotel room:
Ukyou couldn't understand why Ranma would want to make love as girls.
Especially with her on top. But whatever way he preferred, she would
gladly do it with him. Secretly, she wanted to try this out at least
once in her life, since she lived as a guy for around ten years.
Hearing Ranma-chan's moans of satisfaction only made Ukyou work harder
in bringing her off. At the moment her mouth was in one of Ranma's
breast while her hands were in her nether regions.
Akane was having the time of her life. She finally married Ranma.
Even the fact that they were doing it with him in his cursed form
seemed okay with her (as it helped satisfy her partial lesbian side).
They way Ranma was playing with her felt so good! When she felt that
she was about to come, she pressed her body as close to Ranma's as
possible.
"Oh Ranma, I'm... YESSSSS!!" she screamed out in joy.
thought Ukyou. She also
wondered why Ranma sounded different but dismissed that as an effect of
having sex. Even so, she decided to turn on the lights and make sure
she was with Ranma.
"AKANE?!" screamed a shocked Ukyou.
"Uk.. Ukyou?" asked an equally shocked but partially dazed Akane. "Did
we just..."
"Yes. We did." replied Ukyou, who was thinking of an excuse to tell
others. While she was thinking, Akane was able to move them both so
that she was on top of Ukyou. "Akane, what are you mphhhh..." She
wasn't able to say anything else as Akane gave her a rather passionate
kiss.
"Admit it. You liked that as much as I did. Even though you thought
it was Ranma, you were willing to make love with a girl. I.. felt
secure and comfortable when your arms were around me. I don't think I
could feel something like this with a guy. Would it be so bad if we
were together, even if we're both girls? One of the reasons I was
jealous of you was because you're beautiful. I even had a semi-crush
on you. You're better than me in martial arts and know how to cook.
But this only increases my affection for you. I think that I love
you." With that Akane briefly kissed Ukyou on the lips.
Ukyou didn't know what to say. She did think Akane was rather cute,
but to make love with her? Well, she just did, but would she do it
knowing that it was a girl? On the other hand, Akane thought she was
beautiful. Ranma only thought she was cute. She also felt the same
sort of security and comfort while next to Akane. Furthermore, Akane
said she loved her. No one has ever said that before. For once, if
she was willing, Ukyou can look to her future and see someone there by
her side. Having thought it over, she made her decision.
Akane was surprised at the passionate kiss she received. When it ended
Akane decided to take some action. She noticed Ukyou's surprised look.
"Don't worry. Just returning the favor."
And with that the lovemaking between the two girls continued.
*****
Back in the Tendo Dojo:
Ryouga stopped beating up Genma when he noticed something. "Hey, does
anyone know where Akari and Ukyou are?"
Having some time to think it over, most of the people in the dojo
jumped to the wrong conclusion.
When he thought of this particular conclusion, Ryouga fainted with a
massive nosebleed. This did help Genma from being beaten up anymore.
*****
One week later:
"That went rather well." Nabiki said in a sarcastic tone as she looked
at the ruins of what up to an hour ago was a recently rebuilt dojo.
Kasumi came out from the house and noticed the mess outside. "Nabiki,
what happened?"
Nabiki gave a sigh before recapping the day's incidents to Kasumi.
"Everyone decided to have a reunion in order to 'celebrate' last weeks
wedding. They also wanted to give the returning couple a nice welcome
party."
Nabiki then went out to recap the past week for each couple.
"For me, Ryouga doesn't seem to be that bad of a catch. He does do
everything thing I say, though I think it's because he doesn't want his
secrets to be known more than anything else. I like him better in bed
when he's drunk. Less nosebleeds, less crying about Akane and Akari,
and less screaming about Ranma."
"Shampoo seems to be more annoyed with Mousse than ever before. She
said that he's been walking into her room and trying to sleep with her.
If he tried that again Shampoo said that would ask Cologne to teach her
the explosive castration point."
"As for father. Well, I haven't seen him with a smile that big in such
a long time, though it might get smaller after what happened today. It
seems that Cologne splashing herself with nyanniichuan makes a huge
amount of difference in their love life. Plus she seems to have him
working harder and trying to improve his martial arts."
"Mikado was rather sad in not being able to find his lovely bride.
Tsubasa might just be the master of disguises if he could hide out for
this long."
"Hiroshi and Gosunkugi have been trying to stop any rumors of them
being a couple."
"Daisuke said something about there having to be a limit in what Azusa
asks him to wear. Though I'm not so sure how serious you can take
someone dressed up as Totoro."
"Parts of Japan seem to have been destroyed from what seems to be
aftereffects of some fights between Pantyhose Tarou and Rouge."
"Kodachi has barricaded her parts of the house in such a way so that
her brother can't get anywhere near her. She also seems to attack her
brother whenever he's within eyesight."
"Sayuri and Konatsu are right now just friends and learning more about
each other. Though I have heard some rumors of them going out to the
movies a couple of times."
"Dr. Tofu told Yuka that they should wait a few years before starting a
relationship. Something about age difference and him not wanting to be
thought of like the other doctors."
"I think the problems started when Akane and Ukyou came back... holding
hands. It looks like our father and Mr. Saotome were also a little too
drunk when trying to set Ranma and Akane together and got the wrong two
people married. It didn't go too well with some of the guys when they
both announced their love for each other and kissed in front of
everyone. It seems that father and Mr. Saotome still haven't woke up
after hearing this announcement."
"A few minutes later Ranma and Akari came back and right away said they
love each other and no one else. Ranma might have been a little
shocked in seeing Akane and Ukyou kissing, but it does mean fewer
problems for him. Anyway, their announcement did help knock Ryouga
from his rock impersonation and he right away started to attack. And
well... all hell broke loose."
"During the fight, Akane and Ukyou were sitting by the pond, talking
about some things with the usual kisses mixed in."
"Other than that, nothing much has happened."
"By the way, how are you and Ryu doing?"
This helped get Kasumi get out of her semi-shocked state. "Well he is
a nice, big, long... I mean tall boy. We might wait for a few years
before deciding if there's anything serious between us."
Nabiki probably missed Kasumi's tone and they way she was blushing. It
didn't matter because one way or another she was going to make a good
amount of money from all of this.
THE END
*****
Notes:
Come now, these fics can't always end with Ranma and Akane together.
Or, in fact, with any of the other 'sacred' pairings.
Well, my first non-serious fic where I don't completely screw over
Akane (for those who don't understand, see 'Mouthful' and 'The Batter
End'). *Shudders* I feel so dirty.
~Dedicated to fics that have the Ranma cast in strange situations...
only to have it end with the authors favorite couples~
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