Muyami Academy
What if they ALL went to the same school?
Previous chapters at: http://members.xoom.com/bellchan/
Thanks to my longsuffering prereaders, T.H. Tiger, Bombadil Goh,
and my friend Jeffrey Cornish. Thanks also to my most vocal readers, Jed
Hagen, Scott Pollert, and William Morse, who have not given up on me and my
story. ^_^
DISCLAIMER: Ranma 1/2 characters and stuff, and Inu-Yasha
characters and stuff, not to mention Ursei Yatsura characters and stuff,
copyright 1999 Rumiko Takehashi. Tenchi Muyou characters and stuff,
copyright 1999 Pioneer & AIC. Mamono Hunter Yohko characters and stuff
copyright 1999 AD Vision, NCS, Toho Company, LTD, Mad House, and I don't
know who else. Koko wa Greenwood characters copyright Yuki Nasu. Mint na
Bokura characters copyright Wataru Yoshizume. Other characters and stuff
also copyright the creators and owners.
Chapter 8
A Festive Dinner
"So," Shinobu said, "it would seem that our plan has backfired on
us."
"A most lamentable turn of events," Mitsuru agreed. "In the end,
the joke is on us."
Shun ground his teeth. The three of them were sitting in dorm
commons room, trying to sort out their current predicament.
"I'm not prepared to pretend to be a girl for a full year," Shun
said, "let alone three. Especially when my roommate's a girl, has no
problem undressing in front of me, and expects me to do the same in front
of her. It'll never work!"
"I'm aware of that," Shinobu said. "We'll have to tell her the
truth. Still, there must be some way to save some face here...."
He paused. A group of students marched into the commons area and
gathered around them. Seeing that they had the attention of the dorm
President and his roommate, one of them -- apparently the leader of the
group -- stepped forward.
"Sir! Permission to speak, sir!" the boy exclaimed.
Shinobu sighed heavily.
"What is it this time, Ataru?" Mitsuru asked.
"Sir!" Ataru bellowed out, still standing at attention. "We, the
students of Sakagawa Hall, respectfully request the dorm President's
approval and official sanction for the event which we plan for this
evening!"
Mitsuru eyed Ataru warily. "And this event would be?"
"Sir! We propose to visit Matsukata Hall at 7:00 p.m., and conduct
an official panty raid, sir!"
Mitsuru placed a hand on his forehead.
"A panty raid?" he said. "Why am I not surprised?"
"Sir! It's an honorable tradition, sir!" Ataru exclaimed. "How can
we ignore the traditions passed down by our forefathers?"
"Listen, Ataru," Mitsuru said, "I don't think we...."
Shinobu held up his hand, stopping Mitsuru in mid-sentence.
"Yes," Shinobu said. "I believe Ataru is right. The panty raid is a
sacred tradition, passed on from one generation to the next. We must
continue it."
"We must?" Mitsuru asked.
"Indeed," Shinobu replied. "What's more, we must make sure everyone
participates... especially new students, like Ukyo Kuonji."
A slow smile of understanding spread across Mitsuru's face.
"Shinobu," he said, "you are very, very cruel."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
***
Sweat dripped down Ranma's face. She squirmed in her seat, earning
another round of penetrating stares from Yohko and Akane, seated on either
side of her. Her bare thighs stuck to the metal of the folding chair. She'd
already removed her jacket, but packed in with hundreds of other students
on a hot summer day in an auditorium built without air conditioning, there
was little Ranma could do but suffer. It was enough to make one
claustrophobic.
The speaker droned on about the noble history of the school, and
the importance of applying oneself to study, and many other things that
Ranma didn't care about in the least. But just as she came to the
conclusion that her silk blouse would be plastered to her skin for all
eternity, the Opening Ceremonies came to a close.
The auditorium erupted into applause, and students began to move en
masse for the exits. Ranma couldn't wait to get out into the refreshingly
cool summer air, but a slow-moving wall of people blocked their path.
"Man," Ranma said, "this could take forever."
"Just hang on," Akane said. "We'll be out of here in another minute
or two."
"I can't wait that long," Ranma said. "Hang on, you two!"
Ranma wrapped one arm about Akane's waist, and the other about
Yohko's waist, and then leapt straight up into the air. Yohko gasped. Akane
screamed. They nearly collided with the large beams that held the ceiling
aloft, then the descended, in an arc that landed them right at the exit.
As they descended, both Akane and Yohko struggled in vain to keep
their skirts from flying up. Students scrambled to get out of the way. The
trio landed, and Ranma dragged them out the door and into the sunshine,
laughing the whole way.
"Ranma!" Akane growled, "don't you ever do that to me again!"
"What's wrong?" Ranma replied. "I got us out of that nasty
auditorium in a hurry!"
"What's wrong?" Akane repeated. "Everyone was staring at our
panties, that's what's wrong!"
Ranma paused. Her face flushed red.
"Oh," she said. "I.. um... I'm sorry."
"Baka," Akane muttered under her breath.
"Ranma," Yohko said, "sometimes you act like you've been a girl for
only a week, instead of your whole life."
Ranma raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. The three followed the
crowd up the sidewalk in silence.
"So where is this fair?" Ranma asked.
"They announced it at the end of Opening Ceremonies," Akane said.
"Weren't you listening to anything in there?"
Ranma shrugged. "I was concentrating on not melting into the
floorboards," she said. "I don't know how you two could stand it in there."
"I just pictured my darling Ukyo in my arms," Yohko said dreamily.
"The fair is in Red Square," Akane said. "That's the only place
they could have it, really."
Red Square was a large, open courtyard near the center of campus,
lined entirely with red bricks. Red Square wasn't its official name, of
course... but it had been called that for so long that nobody remembered
the official name.
Currently, the square was filled with tables and booths, set up by
the various school clubs. There were food booths and gaming booths as well
-- it was a full-scale festival, designed to not only allow the clubs to
recruit members, but to also celebrate the arrival of new and returning
students to the academy.
The smell of freshly grilled food, mixed with smoke and spices,
drifted out over the crowd. Above the constant roar of crowd noise snatches
of music could be heard, including a marching band and some Taiko
drummers... from a Taiko Drumming Club, Ranma assumed. Colorful balloons,
banners and streamers flashed in the sunlight, and Ranma even caught a
glimpse of a dragon kite flying high overhead. They shoved their way
through the crowd, trampling discarded paper into the red brick of the
square, and looked for anything that caught their eye, and when the crowd
finally parted, Ranma could feel a cool breeze against her bare thighs and
against the silk blouse still plastered to her back.
"Hungry?" Yohko asked.
"You bet!" Ranma replied.
Yohko laughed. "Time to eat, have fun, and sign up for whatever
clubs you want," she said.
"You're going to join the Martial Arts Club, right, Ranma?" Akane
asked.
Ranma shrugged. "I haven't decided," she said. "I've never been too
impressed with school clubs, but Yohko's grandmother said the instructor
was good. I guess I should check it out...."
"Well, don't eat too much," Akane said. "Remember, I'm making
dinner."
"How could I forget?" Ranma muttered, earning a warning look from
her fiancee.
"Akane!" a girl called out. "Ranma! Yohko! Over here!"
The three made their way to a crowded food booth. Behind the booth,
Nanami Jinnai was busy grilling squid and other festival fare. She smiled
brightly at them.
"Want anything?" she asked. "I'll give you a special roommate-only
discount!"
Ranma and Akane nodded, but Yohko was staring at something else off
in the distance.
"I'll meet you guys later," she said. "I already see what I really
want...."
As Yohko disappeared into the crowd, Ranma glanced at Akane and
raised an eyebrow.
"It's that boy she saw in class this morning," Akane said.
"Boy?" Ranma blinked.
"Where've you been?" Akane asked. "She's been going on about him
all day! Some cute boy named Ukyo, who just transfered in."
"Oh?" Ranma took a grilled squid from Nanami's hands and stuffed it
into her mouth. "I used to know a boy named Ukyo," she mumbled.
She grabbed two more squid, paid for them, and said, "I'm going to
find the Martial Arts booth."
Akane nodded. "I'll meet you there," she said. "I want to find
Nabiki. I haven't told her about dinner at my room tonight...."
***
Ranma stared dubiously at the woman behind the table. She was short
-- barely two feet tall, in fact -- and had the most wrinkled face he'd
ever seen. Even her wrinkles had wrinkles. She looked older than a lot of
shrines and temples. She looked, in fact, like a troll or hag. Considering
recent events, Ranma wouldn't be surprised if she were.
The sign said, "Martial Arts Club", and the woman wore a Chinese
robe, but... surely this wasn't the one Yohko's grandmother had talked
about in such glowing terms?
"Ah, man," Ranma said, "don't tell me you're the club's
instructor!"
The strange troll-woman -- she really didn't look human at all --
glanced up.
"Naturally not," she said. "It's a student-run club after all. I am
the faculty advisor, and my grand-daughter, Shampoo, will be the club
instructor."
"Ah, man, and I thought this was going to be worth my time...."
Like a flash of lightning, her staff whipped about, headed straight
for Ranma's head.
Ranma leaned back. The cane missed by several inches, whistling
through the air. It snapped back, and again Ranma dodged it easily.
"Hmmm... not bad," the old crone said. "What styles do you know?"
"My family style," Ranma replied. "The Saotome School of Anything
Goes Martial Arts. It incorporates a little of everything, with mid-air
combat a specialty."
"Anything Goes Martial Arts?" the woman repeated. "Hmmm... could
you possibly mean...? No, that would be impossible. Unless...?"
Ranma watched her muse for a moment. "Ma'am?" he asked, curious.
"It's probably just a coincidence," the old woman said, "but my
late husband developed a style of his own, which he called "Anything Goes
Martial Arts". And, yes, midair combat was one of his specialties... but he
never took on any students that I know of, and he's been dead for a very
long time." She stroked her chin for a moment in thought. "Although, they
never did find the body...."
The woman focused again on Ranma. "Very well," she said. "You're in
the club."
"Maybe I don't wanna join," Ranma said.
The old woman's staff flashed out again, this time so swiftly that
even Ranma had no time to dodge. It connected squarely with her forehead.
"You misunderstand," the woman said. "I choose who will be in the
club. You do not get a choice. We meet at 5:00 am sharp every morning in
the gymnasium, and I don't mean every weekday, I mean every single day. Is
that clear, student?"
Ranma gritted her teeth. "Are the students allowed to spar with the
teacher?" she asked.
"If you're that foolish," the woman replied, "then of course."
"Fine," Ranma growled. "I'll be there, ya old hag!"
***
Elsewhere in the fair, Tenchi Masaki stood before another booth,
this one for the school's Kendo Club. Behind the booth sat a familiar young
girl with long blue pigtails and a constant grin. An even more familiar
older man sat beside her, regarding the world through square glasses
perched over a graying moustache, while on the table, basking in the warm
sunlight, was a floppy-eared gray furball.
"Grandpa?" Tenchi asked.
"Ah, Tenchi, there you are!" the man replied. "I was hoping you'd
join our Kendo Club! Just sign your name on this sign-up sheet...."
"Grandpa, what are you doing here? And why's Sasami here with you?"
"Why, we're signing students up for the Muyami Academy Kendo Club,
of course. Sasami volunteered to be my assistant, and anyway, it's nice to
get away from the shrine once in a while."
"But... you're not... how can you... that is..." Tenchi sputtered.
"It's all very simple, Tenchi," his grandfather said. "The Club
needs an experienced trainer, as I learned when I spoke to Principal Ikari
about transferring you and the girls here. So I volunteered my services as
an advisor. It doesn't pay much -- actually, it's just volunteer work --
but it gives Sasami and I a chance to see you and the girls. I'm sorry I
didn't warn you, but I knew you'd find out sooner or later." The old man
smiled, and then added, "Sasami and I will be staying at a nearby apartment
for the first couple of weeks, but as soon as Ryo-Ohki's ready, we can
return home, show up for an afternoon class and still get back to the
shrine in time to make dinner and watch our favorite television shows. Not
too bad, eh Tenchi?"
"As soon as Ryo-Ohki's ready?"
"Of course," Tenchi's grandfather said. "She's a spaceship, you
know."
Sasami laughed. "It's really great, Tenchi! I get to see you and
Ayeka and even Ryoko! I'm glad your grandfather thought of it!"
"You know, Tenchi," his grandfather said, "the club needs a student
instructor as well. From what I hear, the post is wide open...."
Tenchi sighed. "Great, that's just what I need," he said, signing
the sheet. "What's the point of going away to a boarding school, if you
don't really get away?"
***
Mitsuru, Shinobu, and Shun found Ukyo hard at work at her
okonomiyaki stand. A slender young girl with her hair in braided hoops
stood nearby, clearly trying to capture Ukyo's attention, and failing
miserably. Shinobu laughed to himself, knowing the reason for her failure.
He wondered how many hearts Ukyo had broken so far.
Ukyo smiled as she saw the three of them. "Ohayo!" she called out
cheerfully. "What can I get for you three?"
"You're the chef," Shinobu said. "We'll take whatever you
recommend."
"Three house specials then!" Ukyo said, and began pouring the
batter onto the griddle.
As she worked, the two boys took note of the giant spatula strapped
to her back. They exchanged glances. Shinobu raised an eyebrow. Mitsuru
only smiled.
"From what I hear, you're a very good cook, Ukyo-kun," Mitsuru
said.
"Hai!" Ukyo replied. "Thank you for saying so, Mitsuru-sempai! I
was trained by my father."
Shinobu said, "The fair wraps up at 6:00 p.m., correct?"
Ukyo nodded. She carefully decorated the frying okonomiyaki with
sauce. When they were done, she slid each onto a plate and set them in
front of her three dorm mates.
After they ate, Shinobu said, "Actually, Ukyo, I was hoping we
could speak to you in private...."
"Oh?" Ukyo looked suddenly wary, but she led the three of them
behind the food stand and away from the crowd.
"What's up?" she asked.
"We have a confession to make," Mitsuru said. "The truth is, your
roommate, Shun Kisaragi, is not, in fact, a girl."
Ukyo's eyes grew wide, and she turned to stare at Shun. "Is that
true? You're really a boy?"
Shun nodded. "I'm sorry," he said, "I was just doing what
Mitsuru-sempai and Shinobu-sempai told me to do...."
There was a loud SMACK! Shun spun about and fell to the ground from
the force of Ukyo's slap.
"Ah," Shinobu said. "She's a girl after all."
"For future reference," Mitsuru added, "a good hard punch to the
jaw would be far more manly."
"You want a punch?" Ukyo growled. "I can give you a punch!"
"What'd you do that for?" Shun yelled.
"You!" Ukyo growled. "You saw me naked, you little lech!"
"Well it's not like I wanted to!" Shun replied, as he struggled to
get up. He was immediately knocked back to the ground -- this time, by
Ukyo's battle spatula.
"That will be enough of that," Shinobu said.
Mitsuru nodded. ""Although, I must say, the giant spatula is much
better. But if anyone's to blame for this situation, it's the two of us."
Ukyo turned on the two seniors. "Well I hope you had fun!" she
growled. "What are you going to do now, report me?" She glared at the two
angrily.
Mitsuru smiled.
"Of course not," he said. "Just as Shun's 'secret' was safe with
us, yours will be also. As long as you can avoid giving yourself away,
we'll be happy to claim ignorance of the truth."
Ukyo lowered her gaze.
"Thank you," she said. "I -- I don't want to have to leave Muyami
Academy."
"However," Shinobu said. Ukyo glanced back up warily. "You did ruin
one of our best practical jokes. Normally I would be a little miffed about
it, but as it happens, there is something that you can do to appease my
anger."
Ukyo glowered at him. "That is?" she asked.
"A group of students from our dorm will be gathering on the steps
at 6:30 p.m. I'm hoping you can be there."
"What for?"
"Do not tell anyone," Mitsuru said, "but... they are planning a
panty raid on the girl's dorm."
Ukyo regarded him with half-lidded eyes.
"That doesn't seem like your style, Mitsuru-sempai."
Mitsuru shrugged. "To be honest, it really isn't," he said. "But
it's a tradition, and others in the dorm insisted on it. There's little I
can do to stop it."
"Well, count me out," Ukyo said. "I'm not interested."
"Now, Ukyo," Shinobu said, "I was counting on your participation.
After all, you want to at least appear to be one of the boys, don't you?
People might spread stories about you otherwise."
Ukyo glanced sharply at Shinobu, but his face was a mask of
innocence.
"You're not giving me any choice in this, are you?"
Shinobu smiled. "You always have a choice," he said.
Ukyo growled low in her throat.
"Okay," she said, "I'll do it. But after this...."
"We'll be even," Shinobu said.
***
Akane glanced about. The banner over the booth before her said
"Martial Arts Club" in large black letters, but Ranma was nowhere to be
seen.
"Probably stuffing her face somewhere," Akane muttered, stepping
forward.
"Is this where I sign up?" Akane asked, flashing her trademark
cheerful smile at the old woman behind the booth.
A club whipped out. Surprised, Akane blocked it with her forearm,
and then again with her other forearm as it whipped about.
"Hey!" she exclaimed, "what's the big idea?"
"Hmmm," the old woman said. "Your reflexes are okay. What styles
have you learned?"
"My father's style," Akane said, lowering her arms. "Tendo
Anything-Goes Martial Arts."
The old woman's eyes narrowed.
"What? You too?" She jumped up onto the table. "I really must get
to the bottom of this! Tell me, where did your father learn this style? Who
was his master?"
Akane frowned.
"Now that you mention it," she said, "I know he trained with Mr.
Saotome, but I've never heard either of them mention anything about a
master. I've always assumed that they originated the style together...."
***
"Ah, my good man! Is this where one signs up for the noble kendo
club?"
Grandfather Masaki smiled, the sun flashing off of his glasses. The
boy who stood before him was tall and muscular, with thick black hair and
good looks. He was dressed in a kendo outfit, with a bokken slung over his
shoulder. His face was a mask of seriousness.
"Yes," grandfather Masaki replied, "that's why we have the sign up
that says, "Muyami Academy Kendo Club. And I see that you've even brought
your own bokken."
"Excellent!" the boy exclaimed. "Am I to assume, then, that you are
the instructor?"
The elder Masaki nodded.
The boy swung his bokken around and stood ramrod straight. "Then
allow me to introduce myself: I am a rising star in the kendo world, once
known as the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High. Now that I have transfered to
this fine private school, I will, of course, be known as the Blue Thunder
of Muyami Academy! Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, at your service!"
Grandfather Masaki continued to smile good-naturedly. "An
impressive name," he replied. "I'm afraid I don't quite have one to match
it, but you can call me Mr. Masaki. I know many styles of swordsmanship,
including the traditional kendo styles, of course. I think we're going to
have a lot of fun this semester, and who knows? I might even surprise you."
Tatewaki Kuno arched his eyebrows. "Verily, I hope so. The lack of
competition at Furinkan was most tiresome, and it would do my heart good to
find things more challenging here at this school. Already I find myself
sharing a room with a cackling madman, which is most vexing...." He paused,
staring off into the distance. "Although, I must admit, it is not so
different from my life at home...." He glanced back, and added, "Well that
is something to think on at another time. I take it that this is the sheet
upon which I am required to inscribe my name?"
"In so many words, yes," grandfather Masaki said.
Kuno bent down and signed his name, then rose and saluted with his
bokken. "Good day, Masaki-sensei, and fare thee well until the morrow!"
***
It was still bright out and very hot, but the sun was hanging heavy
in the sky, and the fair was slowly drawing to a close. Cologne broke down
her Martial Arts Club table and then headed over to the ramen stand, where
Mousse and Shampoo were beginning to clean and pack everything up.
Cologne hopped up onto the counter. "And how was business today,
great-granddaughter?" she asked.
"Money-hungry girl and long-haired boy very strong competition,"
Shampoo said. "But we still do very well!"
"The boys can't resist a beautiful girl, can they?" Cologne said
with a cackle. Mousse growled low in his throat, but the old woman ignored
him.
"Good, good," Cologne said. "I did fairly well myself. In fact, if
I'm any judge of talent and skill, I'd say that there are a few students
here at school who will give you quite a challenge, Shampoo."
"Shampoo beat them all," the girl declared. "Is none of them strong
as Amazon warrior. They not even beat Mousse, Shampoo think."
Cologne laughed. "That's the spirit, Shampoo!" she said.
The old woman prepared three bowls of ramen for the three of them,
then sat down to eat. A few minutes later, as she was finishing off her own
bowl, a tall man approached.
"Well, well," Cologne said, "if it isn't local Police Chief Daisuke
Ido! How are you doing this evening?"
"Fine, thank you very much," the Chief replied. "Is it too late to
get a ramen bowl?"
"Of course not!" Cologne said, leaping up. "It's never too late for
a paying customer!"
"So," Cologne said, as she prepared the Chief's meal. "Have you
found your demon yet?"
"Demon?" the Chief asked.
"Don't play dumb with me, officer Ido," the woman said. "You've
been questioning students all day about the incident last night. A demon
appeared and was killed, and some of our students were involved. But you
don't know what happened to the demon, do you?"
Chief Ido smiled. "Not just yet, I don't," he said. "It may have
been killed for good, or it may not. If it appears again, then I'll know it
isn't dead just yet."
Cologne barked a laugh, and, with a quick maneuver, filled a bowl
with steaming ramen and slid it in front of the officer.
Chief Ido took a bite. His eyes lit up.
"Very good!" he exclaimed.
Cologne smiled. "And who knows fast food better than a cop?" she
asked.
Ido laughed, and took another bite.
"You seem to be a woman of no little knowledge," he said, after
swallowing.
"Well," Cologne said with a laugh, "I haven't lived a hundred years
for nothing!"
The inspector raised an eyebrow, but made no comment. Instead, he
said, "Tell me, if you would, in your own words, what you think is going on
here."
"It's the end of the school fair," the old woman replied. "People
are packing up and going back to their rooms."
"Yes, I can see that," Chief Ido said, irritably. "I mean... tell
me about this school. All of these students with special powers. Demons and
demon-hunters, and aliens and goddesses."
"Ah," Cologne said. "That. Well, all I can tell you is what I know.
Principal Ikari visited my village and offered me an exceptionally handsome
salary to come here and teach. So here I am. I teach Chinese history and
literature, and martial arts."
"How do you explain all of these powers?"
"Magic," Cologne said. "Secret arts. Alien technology. It depends
on who you're talking about."
"Magic?" Chief Ido said. "I've never really believed in it,
but...." His voice trailed off.
"You don't believe in demons, do you?" Cologne said. "You don't
believe in angels or devils, in heaven or hell, in gods, good and bad
spirits, other realities or levels of existence...."
"Well," the Chief said, "I don't believe in anything I can't see."
Cologne laughed. "A reasonable answer," she said. "But there are
many things which you can't see or haven't seen which are real."
Chief Ido looked thoughtful.
"The girl's dormitory President," he said. "Belldandy. She says
she's a goddess. What do you think of that?"
"I think it means exactly what it sounds like," Cologne said.
"That being?"
"She works for the Almighty, of course."
Ido frowned. "You mean God?"
Cologne smiled slyly. "That's not what I said, officer Ido...."
"I don't believe in God," Chief Ido said firmly.
"Suit yourself," the old woman replied with a laugh.
***
The sun was slowly sinking in the West, casting long shadows that
stretched out like the thin black fingers of the night, reaching out to
engulf the student dormitories. All of Ukyo's equipment was packed away in
her room, and she sat on the dormitory steps, listening to the wind whistle
through the trees and waiting unenthusiastically for the other boys of her
dorm to show.
"This is so stupid," she muttered to herself. "Why would anyone
want to do this? It's just perverse. Sneaking into a girl's room and taking
her underwear...."
"Ukyo-sama?" a girl called out from the shadows.
Ukyo glanced up. A slender girl in a school uniform, with brown
hair tied up in two looped braids, stepped into the fading sunlight.
"Yes?" Ukyo said. She'd seen the girl around earlier in the day.
"Um... Yohko, isn't it?"
Yohko nodded, then stood there quietly, eyes downcast.
Ukyo stood up. "Is there something I can do for you?" she asked.
The girl sighed, and took a step closer.
"I was just wondering," the girl said, "why you never seem to
notice me."
"Notice you?"
Yohko looked up. In the fading light, Ukyo thought she saw tears
forming in the girl's eyes.
"I just have to know!" Yohko said. "Is it because you already have
a girlfriend?"
"What?" Ukyo said. She took a step back. "A girlfriend? I don't...
I mean I would never...."
"Then if you don't," Yohko said, "I'd really like to... I'd really
like it if I were your...."
"Wait!" Ukyo exclaimed, waving her hands in front of her. "I can't!
I... I'm already engaged!"
Yohko's face fell. "You are? Really?"
Ukyo nodded, and Yohko sighed heavily.
"I might have known," Yohko said softly. "I mean, a guy as
good-looking as you...
"Can I ask what her name is?"
"Ranma," Ukyo said, automatically. It wasn't actually the first
time she'd told the lie, and anyway it was more purposeful misdirection
that outright lying. She was engaged to a Ranma, after all. Was it her
fault if people just assumed that Ranma was her female fiancee? As long as
it kept girls from trying to date her....
Yohko blinked.
"You mean Ranma Saotome?"
It was Ukyo's turn to look confused. "You... you know him?"
"Him?" Yohko replied. "Don't you mean her? Ranma's a girl. How
could you be engaged to her if she weren't?"
"Oh, yeah," Ukyo said, laughing nervously. "Sorry. My mistake!"
"But... that doesn't make sense!" Yohko said, crossing her arms.
"Ranma's my best friend, and she's never said anything about being
engaged!"
"Are you sure this Ranma Saotome's a girl?" Ukyo asked.
Yohko glared back at her. "Are you certain you're engaged to her?"
she demanded.
Ukyo sat down on the stone steps with a thud. She stared off into
the distance.
"Well," she said, "I was certain, until a moment ago...."
She glanced back up. "Maybe it's not the same Ranma Saotome?"
***
Tenchi headed to the girl's dorm at 6:20 p.m. As per visitation
rules, he signed in with dorm President Belldandy before heading to Akane's
room. The school liked to know when boys were visiting girls, and vice
versa... although Lum and Ryoko dropped in on him and Ataru whenever they
felt like it.
Belldandy smiled sweetly. "It's so wonderful for Akane to cook for
her friends," she said. "I hope you have a wonderful time, Tenchi!"
Tenchi laughed nervously. He was actually resigned to an evening of
stomach cramps, at the very least. It didn't help that the delicious smell
of hot miso soup was wafting from Belldandy's room. Inside, he could see
two boys, Keichi Morasato and Kyosuke Kasuga, and Belldandy's roommate,
Madoka Ayukawa, seated around a table eating.
"You're doing the same thing," he noted. "It smells very good, Miss
Belldandy."
Belldandy's face glowed. "I'm sure Akane's meal will be just as
good," she said. "She's a very sweet girl, and if she loves her friends,
then she can't help but do her best. In cooking, or anything else, love is
the most important ingredient."
Belldandy smiled again as the door closed. Tenchi sighed and headed
up the hall.
"If only that were true," he murmured.
***
And now the shadows slip beneath the tangled ivy and out across the
lawn behind Madoka Mano's house. Over the grass they flow, like water seen
on a moonless night, sliding along until they reach the street. They roll
down the street like a launched torpedo, moving swiftly and unerringly
towards their target: Muyami Academy.
This time, it would be different. This time, punishment was
assured.
***
As seven o'clock approached, the boys gathered on the steps of
Sakagawa Hall. Mitsuru-sempai and Shinobu-sempai were not among them, of
course, nor did Ukyo spy Shun or Tenchi or Keichi or Makato in the crowd.
None of the boys that she actually respected were present, although she did
recognize a few faces. Ataru Moroboshi, who seemed to be the leader.
Hiroshi and Daisuke. Hatta and Komatsu. They were, in her mind, geeks,
jocks, lechers, and losers, one and all.
And at the moment, she was one of them. Her skin itched. She wanted
to crawl under a rock and die.
But she knew that, if she didn't go through with this,
Shinobu-sensei might expose her. Even if he didn't, there would be worse
torture ahead. This was, in a perverted sort of way, a rite of passage for
her.
"Okay!" Ataru barked. "Does everyone know what to do? We are to
sneak in as quietly as we can, and then make our move! Everyone must steal
a pair of panties from the girl you like the best. Then we meet back here
when it's over! And I warn you: do not return without a pair of panties in
your hands!"
Ukyo frowned.
"And this somehow gets the girl you like to go on a date with you?"
she asked sarcastically.
The other boys stared at Ukyo blankly.
"What do you mean?" one said. "It's not...."
"What I mean," Ukyo said, "is what girl in her right mind would
want to date a pervert?"
"What would you know about it?" Hatta asked. "I don't see girls
hanging all over you!"
Ukyo started to say something, but thought better of it. Instead,
she said, "Well, it doesn't matter to me, because there aren't any
particular girls that I'm interested in."
Ataru Moroboshi cleared his throat.
"I'm glad to hear you say that," he said. "However, I seem to
recall that I saw you talking with Yohko-chan earlier...."
Ukyo's face flushed red. "She... she's not my type."
"She's not?" one boy asked in astonishment. "But she's a babe!"
"No kidding," another said. "What is your type, then?"
"Don't worry," Ataru said, taking her hand. "Your secret is safe
with me."
Ukyo yanked her hand away. "I don't know what you're talking
about!" she said.
"Secret?" Hatta asked.
"What secret?" Daisuke asked.
"Ukyo," Komatsu said, "don't tell me that you... you're gay."
The front doors of the boy's dorm opened up. Two figures stepped
out and stood at the top of the steps. The other boys grew quiet as they
realized that Dorm President Mitsuru Ikeda and his roommate, Shinobu
Tezuka, were watching them.
"Come, Ukyo," Shinobu said in a voice as smooth as satin. "Why not
admit the truth? Tell them your secret."
Ukyo glared at the two furiously. A bright blue battle aura formed
around her, and the other boys took several steps back.
"'What are you talking about, Shinobu-sempai?" she growled.
Shinobu smiled. "Well, isn't it true," he said, "that you are
already engaged... to Ranma Saotome?"
The other boys' eyes grew wide.
"Is that true?"
"Ah, man! Ranma's a babe!"
"You lucky dog!"
Ukyo's face flushed red. "That's not... I mean I don't... it
isn't...."
"Now, now," Shinobu said, "you just hurry along, and don't forget
to bring back a pair of your darling Ranma's panties...."
***
Ranma sneezed.
"Someone's talking about you," Akane teased. She stirred the pot in
front of her, then checked the rice cooker. "Almost ready," she said. "Just
a minute more."
Ranma and Tenchi shifted nervously, awaiting the inevitable. It
didn't help Ranma that the feeling of immanent danger that had plagued her
all day had suddenly returned with a vengeance. Her skin felt clammy, and
her stomach was tying itself into knots. She could see the inky black
tentacles reaching out for her, and felt them wrapping around her legs, her
waist, her arms, her neck....
"Akane," Ranma said, "I don't know how to say this, but...
something terrible is about to happen."
Akane's face flushed with anger. "Ranma," she growled, "why can't
you say something nice, instead of...."
"I'm not talking about your cooking," Ranma said. "This is
something worse...."
Akane frowned.
"I'd rather talk about something else," she said. "At least while
we're eating dinner."
Ranma nodded.
"So," Tenchi said, "you're attending school as a girl?"
"Looks like it," Ranma replied. She glanced down at her top and
shorts -- the same ones that Yohko had lent her a week ago. Thanks to her
mother, most of her wardrobe was dresses and skirts, but Akane had agreed
to lend her some less overtly feminine things.
"It's either that," Ranma said, "or not at all. Mom would be upset
either way, but I'd rather be here with my friends, so... at least I get an
education this way, which is what mother really wanted."
"Don't worry, Ranma," Tenchi said, "we can keep your secret.
Anyway, I think you make a very nice girl."
"Tenchi's right," Akane nodded. "I really like you better as a
girl, Ranma."
Ranma grimaced. "That's because, this way, the whole engagement
thing doesn't get in the way."
"Ranma," Akane growled, but then stopped, as Princess Ayeka entered
the room. Chigako Ogawa followed her in and then Shinobu Miyake, Shampoo's
roommate. They gathered in a circle on the floor, and Akane, beaming with
pride, set a large bowl of curried rice in the center.
Ranma had not known Akane long, but in that time she'd learned one
important fact: Akane couldn't cook. She'd already sampled Akane's cooking
twice and had nearly died -- first from the food, and secondly from the
pounding Akane gave her when she commented on the food.
However, Nabiki had assured her that Akane had spent a great deal
of time learning to make a simple curry dish, and that it was actually
edible. Mind you, Nabiki had been too busy to come tonight.
So it was with grave reservations that Ranma placed the first
spoonful into her mouth. When she didn't immediately gag, turn green, and
collapse on the floor, she took it as a good sign and swallowed.
Ranma's eyes began to water. She quickly grabbed the pitcher of
water and downed it.
"You don't like it?" Akane asked. Her voice held a warning of
imminent violence if Ranma answered wrong.
"No, it's not that!" Ranma exclaimed. "It's just... very spicy.
VERY spicy. But good! The best meal I've eaten of yours, in fact!"
Tenchi sampled the dish, then also went for the water. "Wow!
That's... spicy," he said. "Just like Indian curry! Well, not really like
it, but...."
"Quit while you're ahead," Ranma whispered.
Akane took a spoonful and her eyes got big. "Wow, it really is a
bit spicy," she said, then grabbed her own glass of water.
"Maybe I should get some more water," Shinobu said, getting up.
"Yes," Ranma said. "That would be a good idea."
"Wouldn't tea be better?" Tenchi asked. "Or bread, if you have
any... I've hear that helps."
"Where's Yohko?" Akane asked. "She said she'd be here."
"She had something to do, I think," Chigako said. "She'll be along
soon."
***
A large oak grew in the space between Matsukata and Sakagawa Halls.
High up in the branches, all but invisible in the deepening gloom, a girl
with spiky sea-green hair stretched comfortably on one of the limbs.
Beside her was a bag of peanuts. Every so often, she would pull one
out, toss it into the air, and zap it into nothingness. Below, students who
saw the sudden spark of light would pause and stare up into the shadowy
foliage, before finally shrugging their shoulders and going on about their
business.
Eventually there were no more peanuts. The girl sat up and stared
at the three-story brick building that was Sakagawa Hall.
"So," she growled, "little Miss Kung Fu is holding a party, and
everyone's invited but me?"
Slowly she rose, until she was hovering two feet above the branch.
She growled low in her throat. There was a flash of bright orange light,
and her energy sword appeared in right hand.
"We'll just see about that," she said, with finality.
***
The boys of Sakagawa Hall approached Matsukata Hall warily. They
were afraid that their plan might have been leaked, that the girls might be
expecting them. But so far, they saw nothing that indicated an advanced
warning.
Ataru shrugged, headed up the steps, and opened the door.
"Let's do it," he said.
"Wait!" a voice called out. The boys froze.
From out of the shadows of the nearby rose bushes a very short
figure emerged. He had a bald head, a wrinkled face, wore a janitor's
uniform, and held a pipe in his hand.
"Don't you boys know what you're doing is wrong?" he said severely.
"What are you going to do old man?" Hatta exclaimed. "Try and stop
us?"
The old man screwed up his face. He seemed to wrestle with his
inner conscience for just a moment.
"Actually," he said, "I was hoping you'd let me join you...."
"Not so fast," another voice commanded. There was a hopping sound,
and a large stick walked out of the shadows, with a white-haired ghoul
clinging to the top.
"Cologne!" Happosai exclaimed.
"Good evening, husband," Cologne replied.
Taking this as their cue, the boys melted away, disappearing into the
girl's dorm.
Happosai began backing up. "I... I can explain everything!"
Cologne glared balefully at her long-lost mate.
"Oh, you will," she said. "And it had better be very, very good."
***
Back in Akane's room, Tenchi and the girls finished their
surprisingly edible meal, along with multiple glasses of water. As they
ate, Tenchi told the story of how he'd met Ryoko and Ayeka.
"So the mummy came to life, and attacked you?" Shinobu asked.
"That's right," Tenchi said. "She'd been trapped inside that cave
for ages, but she's not really a demon, just an alien. She has a spaceship
and everything... well, she had a spaceship, anyway. It's crashed now."
Ayeka knew the story of course. Akane and Ranma knew part of the
story, but they hadn't heard the full thing until now. For the others, the
whole story was new. Tenchi managed to leave out the parts that involved
Ryoko burning his school down and destroying Seito Bridge.
"Wow," Shinobu said. "So you're a Juraian Princess, Ayeka?"
Ayeka blushed. "Well," she said, "I don't want to make a big deal
of it...."
"You're just like Lum!" Chigako exclaimed. "She's an alien Princess
too!"
"I most certainly am not like that green-haired, bubble-brained
oni!" Ayeka said haughtily.
"Oh man," Tenchi said, "and Ataru's my roommate, so I have to put
up with the two of them arguing all night... can we talk about something
else?"
"So what's the deal with people who get attacked by demons and then
become friends with them?" Ranma suddenly exclaimed.
"Who else are you thinking of?"
"Well," Ranma said, "there's Lum and Ataru, and Tenchi and
Ryoko...."
"Lord Tenchi and Ryoko are not friends!" Ayeka said forcefully.
"Then there's... well, a girl I know. I can't really talk about it,
I guess."
"Yohko?" Akane asked.
"No..." Ranma said, "I don't think Yohko will be befriending any
demons any time soon...."
"Anyway," Ayeka said, "it seems that Tenchi and I are related.
Akane, you're his cousin too, am I right? But, unlike on Jurai, it's
against custom for Terrans to marry their own relatives, isn't it?"
"Ayeka!" Tenchi exclaimed.
"It's just a question!" Ayeka said.
Akane looked from Ayeka to Tenchi, and something clicked. Both she
and Tenchi turned red. "I... I'm not interested in Tenchi, if that's what
you mean."
Ranma smiled. "Your cousin's a popular guy."
"Apparently."
"Just like you at Furinkan, eh?"
Akane blushed. "That... that was different. Anyway," she added,
"one fiancee's enough trouble for me."
"Akane?" Shinobu asked. "Do you mean you're engaged?"
"Huh?" Akane asked. "Well, yes, actually, but it wasn't my idea. I
mean," she added, "it's all our fathers' fault...."
Her voice trailed off, as she realized what she was saying.
Unfortunately, Ranma, always slower on the uptake, chose that point to jump
in.
"Yeah!" she said. "It's their fault we're engaged! We didn't have a
say in the matter!"
Chigako's eyes went wide. "Ranma? You're engaged too?" she asked.
"Oh, how wonderful for you two! What's his name? You have to tell me!"
"His name?" Ranma squeaked.
"Yes, please!" Shinobu said. "Tell us who it is!"
"Um," Ranma said. Her mind went in circles. She glanced at Akane,
who shook her head violently.
"Um," Ranma said. "Um... his name is... um... R-Ryoga?"
"Ryoga Hibiki?" Chigako asked.
Ranma's eyes got wide. "You know him?"
"Well of course, silly! I mean, he's right here at school, isn't
he?"
"He is?"
"Dope," Akane said under her breath.
There was a knock at the door.
"I'll get that!" Akane jumped up, eager to divert the conversation
to practically any other topic. "It's probably Yohko," she added, as she
grasped the doorknob.
The door swung open to reveal a muscular boy with thick black hair,
held back by a black and yellow bandana, and with a rough-woven tunic of
mustard yellow. In his hands he carried flowers that were more than a
little wilted.
The boy laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head.
"Excuse me, Miss," he said, "but my name is Ryoga Hibiki, and I'm looking
for Yohko Mano's room...."
Everyone in the room stared at Ryoga, then turned to stare at
Ranma.
"Your fiancee, I assume?" Shinobu asked.
Ranma's face flushed red. She leaped up, pulled Ryoga into the
hallway, and slammed the door behind her.
Ranma shoved Ryoga up against a wall. "Ryoga!" she said, "I'm in a
bind. You've got to help me out, okay?"
Ryoga blinked back at her in confusion. "Excuse me, Miss? Do I know
you?"
"It's me! Your old pal! Ranma Saotome!"
Ryoga looked even more confused.
"I'm sure I'd remember you if we'd met," he said. "I've never known
any girls with red hair...."
"You lunkhead!" Ranma growled. "Don't you remember our feud? The
bread? Don't you remember how you challenged me, and I had to wait four
days before you showed up? Remember how we fought to a draw, and settled
our differences?"
Ryoga's eyes got very large. "Ranma? Is that really you?"
"Who else?"
"But your hair...."
"Maybe I dyed it, okay? What does it matter what color my hair is?"
"And what are you doing in girl's clothes, you pervert?"
Ranma slapped his hand over Ryoga's mouth. "Keep it down, you
idiot! I can't let people know...."
"Okay," Ryoga whispered. "But I would never have guessed you were a
crossdresser, Ranma...."
"Look, idiot," Ranma said, unbuttoning her top. "These are real,
got it?"
Ryoga took one look, then flushed crimson. Blood began to seep from
his nose.
"Oh, for heaven's sake! Who's the pervert now? Geez, with all your
travelling, I would've thought you were experienced... then again, you've
never been too good around women, have you?"
"Ranma?" Ryoga said. "You're a girl? I never knew! How could I have
fought you all of those times and never have known?"
Ranma paused, about to explain her curse to the boy, then thought
better of it. As Ranma was beginning to remember, explaining something to
Ryoga was often like the Pope trying to convert the Dali Lama. Ryoga was
someone who could be out of his depth on wet pavement.
*Best if he thinks I'm really a girl,* Ranma decided. *Less trouble
all around, that way.*
"Look," Ranma said, "I need you to do me a favor, okay?"
"Well," Ryoga said, "I guess I owe you one, after our last
fight...."
"You better believe it! Pop and I delayed our trip to China four
days, just so we could settle things!"
"I can't believe I didn't beat you, either... especially now that I
know you're a girl!"
"Look, Ryoga, it's like this. I've got a fiancee, but I don't want
to tell anyone who sh... I mean, who he is. It's a secret, right? So I need
someone else to pose as my fiancee. Can you do it?"
"You want me to lie?" Ryoga said. "But Yohko...."
"Yohko?" Ranma said. "What about her?"
"We were supposed to go on a date," Ryoga said. "Only, it took me a
day to find the girl's dorm, and...."
Ranma rolled her eyes. "Spare me," she said, "I can guess the rest.
Look, I think Yohko likes some guy named Ukyo anyway, but it doesn't matter
either way. I'm not asking you to date me, I'm just asking you to say
you're my fiancee. That's it. It's just to protect my honor, okay?"
"Well," Ryoga said, "since you put it that way... I guess I can't
refuse...."
Moments later, Ranma had rejoined the group in Akane's room, with
her new fiancee in tow. She introduced him to everyone, and the two sat
down together.
"Wow, Ranma," Shinobu said, "what a handsome fiancee!"
Ryoga laughed, blushing in embarassment. He held Ranma's hand in
his.
"Yeah," Ranma said with a laugh. "He's not half bad." She withdrew
her hand, and then, seeing the others watching, sighed inwardly and took
Ryoga's hand again.
"And you, Ryoga," Shinobu continued. "You must be thrilled to have
such a pretty fiancee!"
"Heh heh..." Ryoga said nervously, "surprised is more like it...
oof!" he added, as Ranma planted an elbow into his side.
"Do you like chicken curry?" Akane asked, as she prepared a plate
for Ryoga. "We were just having a dinner to celebrate the first day of
school. It's a little spicy...."
"A home-cooked meal?" Ryoga asked. He accepted the plate and took a
bite. Tears ran down his face. "Oh! It's wonderful! I haven't had
home-cooked food in so long...."
Akane beamed. "I'm glad you like it!" she exclaimed.
"So when will you two get married?" Chigako asked.
"We haven't set a date," Ranma said. "Not until after we graduate,
at least."
"Life is so good!" Ryoga exclaimed. "Wonderful food, good friends,
a warm place to sleep, and a fiancee that loves me...."
Ranma blinked. "Um," she said, "let's not get too carried away...."
Ryoga suddenly gathered Ranma into a fierce hug... so fierce, in
fact, that Ranma couldn't breathe. "It's like I've just fallen in love with
her all over again!" Ryoga exclaimed.
"Urk!" Ranma said, struggling to free herself. "Gahk!"
"Ranma?" Akane asked. "Are you okay?"
Ranma managed to free an arm. She grabbed a nearby iron skillet and
pounded on Ryoga until he let go.
"Yeah," she gasped. "I'm doing just great. Just a few cracked ribs,
that's all."
"What about you, Akane?" Shinobu said. "What's your fiancee's
name?"
"My fiancee?" Akane looked very uncomfortable. "I was hoping you'd
forgotten about that. Well, his name is..." she glanced desperately at
Ranma. "...um... it'll come to me in a minute...."
"Ukyo," Ranma said. "His name is Ukyo Kuonji.
Akane's eye widened slightly, but then she nodded an assent. She
pulled Ranma aside.
"Who is that?" she whispered fiercely.
"Just some guy I used to know," Ranma whispered back.
"Oh. Okay then. Thanks, I guess. But what if he shows up?"
"Don't worry," Ranma said, "I haven't seen Ukyo in forever."
"Ukyo Kuonji?" Chigako said. "Isn't that the name of...."
The door flew open. Yohko Mano stood on the other side, framed by
the hallway lights. Tears were running down her face.
"Ranma," Yohko yelled, "how could you?"
Ranma blinked. She stood up. "How could I what?" she asked.
"How could you let me fall for Ukyo Kuonji, and never tell me that
he was you fiancee!"
Confusion crawled across Ranma's face.
"Ukyo's here? At Muyami Academy?" she asked.
"You mean you don't know?" Yohko exclaimed. "Give me a break! What
kind of a girl doesn't know that her own fiancee is attending the same
school as her?"
"Now wait a second," Chigako said. "I thought Ukyo was Akane's
fiancee, and Ryoga was Ranma's fiancee."
Ranma gulped. "Is that what we said?"
Chigako nodded. She crossed her arms. "That's exactly what you
said."
Ryoga jumped up and gathered Ranma's hands in his. "Beautiful
Ranchan!" he exclaimed. "Please don't tell me that you're engaged to
someone else!"
Ranma glared at him, and whispered under her breath, "I told you,
you moron...."
Yohko blinked. "Ryoga?" She glared at Ranma. "You're engaged to
Ryoga, too?"
"Well," Ranma said, "it's... um... kind of complicated."
"Care to explain it to us?" Shinobu asked.
"I only wish I could," Ranma said, truthfully.
And then, the wall exploded, sending brick and glass and mortar
flying across the room. Ranma and Ryoga were knocked into Yohko, and the
three tumbled into the hallway, knocking down a fourth person in the
process.
Ranma struggled to sit up, but strong hand lifted her to her feet.
"Ranchan," Ryoga said, "are you hurt?"
Ranma stared past Ryoga and into Akane's room. Hovering before the
fresh hole in the wall was Ryoko, her eyes glowing bright.
"Ranma, Ryoga, are you okay?" Yohko asked, standing up.
She glanced at her wrist, and gasped. The eyes on her yoma ring
were flashing.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Ranma said. She turned to help the fourth person
up....
"Uchan?" Ranma asked.
Yohko turned. "Ukyo-sama!" she exclaimed.
"Ranchan?" Ukyo asked.
"Ukyo?" Ryoga asked.
"Ryoga?" Ukyo asked.
Ranma's eyes narrowed.
"Uchan," she said, "are those my panties in your hand?"
***
In an office set high on the hill, Principal Ikari sipped his tea
and stared out over the school grounds. From here he could see nearly the
entire campus, although, as darkness fell, thing grew increasingly
indistinct.
He touched a couple of buttons under his desk. The lights in the
office winked out, and the view through the window shifted. Now, using the
latest in night-vision technology, the Principal continued to relax and
stare out his window.
On his desk lay a small device about the size of a watch. On it, a
small red light began to blink.
"It's begun," Principal Ikari said.
"What's begun?" Chief Ido asked. The lanky Chief of Police was once
again seated across the desk from Ikari.
"Demons," Ikari said, "if you call them that. This device is
sensitive to paranormal activity. I'd say our demon is about to pay us
another visit."
Ido sat up. "Then we should...."
"Relax," Ikari said. "Wait. Allow things to develop first."
He tapped another button. The small video screen sitting on his
desk lit up.
"Natsume," he said, "are you receiving the signal?"
On the screen, a man in a lab coat with hair that completely
covered his eyes nodded. "Yes, sir," he said. "My cameras and sensory
equipment are all in place. Whatever it is, we should get some good
readings of it, and some video footage."
"Very good," Principal Ikari said. He took another long sip of his
tea, then set the cup on the table. "This should prove to be a very
interesting night indeed...."
*to be continued*
Chapter Nine
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