50 Reasons to be a Woman

 1. Free drinks.

 2. Free dinners.

 3. Free movies (you get the point).

 4. You can hug your friend without wondering if
 she thinks you're gay.

 5. You can hug your friend without wondering if
 YOU'RE gay.

 6. You know The Truth about whether size
 matters.

 7. Speeding ticket? What's that?

 8. New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on
 life.

 9. You never had to walk down the hall with
 your binder strategically positioned in high
 school.

 10. If you have sex with someone and don't call
 them the next day, you're not the devil.

 11. Condoms make no significant difference in
 your enjoyment of sex.

 12. If you have to be home in time for 90210, you
 can say so, out loud.

 13. If you're not making enough money you can
 blame the glass ceiling.

 14. You can sleep your way to the top.

 15. You can sue the President for sexual
 harassment.

 16. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean
 sweep.

 17. It's possible to live your whole life without
 ever taking a group shower.

 18. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.

 19. Brad Pitt.

 20. You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.

 21. If you cheat on your spouse, people assume
 it's because you're being emotionally neglected.

 22. YOU never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.

 23. You'll never have to decide where to hide
 your nose-hair clipper.

 24. No one passes out when you take off your shoes.

 25. If you think the person you're dating really
 likes you, you don't have to break up with them.

 26. Excitement is only as far away as the
 nearest beauty-supply store.

 27. If you forget to shave, no one has to know.

 28. You can congratulate your teammate
 without ever touching her ass.

 29. If you have a zit, you can conceal it.

 30. You never have to reach down every so often
 to make sure your privates are still there.

 31. If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.

 32. You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or
 Fletch to fit in.

 33. You have the ability to dress yourself.

 34. You have an excuse to be a total bitch at
 least once a month.

 35. You can talk to people of the opposite sex
 without having to picture them naked.

 36. If you marry someone 20 years younger,
 you're aware that you look like an idiot.

 37. If you're wearing cologne, you don't have to
 pretend it's aftershave.

 38. You'll probably never see someone you know
 while peeing in an alley.

 39. You'll never have to punch a hole through
 anything with your fist.

 40. You can quickly end any fight by crying.

 41. Your friends won't think you're weird if you
 ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.

 42. There are times when chocolate really can
 solve all your problems.

 43. You've never had a goatee.

 44. Gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable.

 45. You'll never regret piercing your ears.

 46. You can fully assess a person just by looking
 at their shoes.

 47. You'll never discover you've been duped by a
 Wonderbra.

 48. You don't have hair on your back.

 49. You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.

 50. You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only
 another woman truly can.