Actual Church Bulletins Screw-ups
 * The 1991 Spring Council retreat will be hell May 10 & 11.
 
 * Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
 
 * The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind
   and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
 
 * Don't let worry kill you.  Let the Church help.
 
 * The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing
   campaign slogan last Sunday:
   "I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."
 
 * A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church.
   It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.
 
 * Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian
   Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
 
 * The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who
   enjoys sinning to join the choir.
 
 * At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
   Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
 
 * Irving Beltson and Jessie were married on October 24 in the
   church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
 
 * The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10.  All
   ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.