Definitions
  College : A place where some pursue learning and
   others learn pursuing.
  
  Etc : A sign to make others believe that you know
   more than you actually do.
  
  Office : A place where you can relax after your
   strenuous home life.
  
  Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going
   to feel a feeling you have
   never felt before.
  
  Committee : Individuals who can do nothing
   individually and sit to decide that
   nothing can be done together.
  
  Politician : One who shakes your hand before
   elections and your confidence
   after
 
  Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things
   straight.
  
  Optimist : A person who who starts taking bath if
   he accidently falls into a
   river.
  
  Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last
   letter in ZERO, instead of the
   first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
  
  Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell
   in such a way that you actually
   look forward to the trip.
  
  Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
   read.
  
  Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes
   before marriage.
  
  Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can
   die rich.
  
  Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
  
  Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
   his bachelor degree and woman
   gains her master.
  
  Father : A banker provided by nature.
  
  Rumour : News that travels at the speed of sound.
  
  Criminal : A guy no different from the rest of
   us...except that he got caught.
  
  Worry : Interest paid on trouble before it falls
   due.
  
  Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and
   late when you are early.
  
  Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
   life, to be spoken of when
   dead.
  
  Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
   power is defeated by feminine
   power.
  Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
  
  Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
  
  Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,
   and kills you with his bills.
  
  S/W Engr : who is paid for sending and receiving
   such junk mails!