LISTEN FOR LOVE

 There are times when we are timid and shy
 about expressing the love we feel. For fear
 of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves,
 we hesitate to say the >>> actual words "I love you."
 So we try to communicate the idea in other words.

 We say take care or don't drive too fast or be
 good. But really, these are just other ways
 of saying I love you. You are important to me.
 I care what happens to you.
 I don't want you to get hurt.

 We are sometimes very strange people.The
 only thing we want to say, and the one thing
 that we should say, is the one thing we don't
 say. And yet because the feeling is so real,
 and the need to say it is so strong, we are
 driven to use other words and signs to say what
 we really mean. And many times the meaning
 never gets communicated at all and the other
 person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

 Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in
 the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes
 the explicit words are necessary, but more
 often, the manner of saying things is even more
 important. A joyous insult carries more affection
 and love within the sentiments, which are expressed
 insincerely. An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU
 even though the words might be saying very different.

 Any expression of a person's concern for another
 says I love you. Sometimes the expression is
 clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we
 must look and listen very intently for the love that
 it contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.

 A mother may nag her son constantly about his
 grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear
 only the nagging, but if he listens carefully. he will
 hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother
 wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern
 and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging.
 But it is love all the same.

 A daughter comes home late, way past her curfew,
 and her father confronts her with angry words. The
 daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listens
 carefully, she will hear the love under the anger.
 I was worried about you, the father is saying.
 Because I care about you and I love you. You are
 important to me.

 We say I love you in many ways- with birthday gifts,
 and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears.
 Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet
 and not saying a word, at other times by speaking
 out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes
 by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our
 love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the
 love we have tried to express. The problem in listening
 for love is that we don't always understand the language
 of love, which the other person is using.

 A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she
 wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand
 her because he expects her to be talking his language.
 Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.
 The problem with our world is that people rarely listen
 to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen
 to the actions that accompany the words or the
 expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection
 or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that
 is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are
 angry.

 Simon and Garfunkel wrote that very haunting song,
 The sound of silence. It goes ten thousand people,
 maybe more. People talking without speaking;
 people hearing without listening; people writing songs
 that voices never shared, because no one dared
 disturb the sound of silence.

 It is a terrifying picture of our modern world, a world
 without communication and without love. We have
 to listen for love in those around us. If we listen
 intently we will discover that we are a lot more
 loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will
 find that the world is a very loving place, after all.

 -Fr. Joseph A.

 "People say true friends must always hold hands,
 but true friends don't need to hold hands because
 they know the other hand will always be there."