Questionable Humor

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't:
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7.   His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:
1.   Think you can get me off?
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Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't:
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8.   Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
5. HMMMMMMMM....I think it's out of fluid!
4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2.   When do you think you'll be getting off today?
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in the office but isn't:
1.   It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!
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Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't:
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent
9.   After 18 holes I can barely walk
8.  You really whacked the hell out of that sucker 
7.  Look at the size of his putter
6.  Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5.  Mind if I join your threesome?
4.  Stand with your back turned and drop it
3.   My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
2.   Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
1.   Hold up...I need to wash my balls first