Terms of Endearment

Wants & needs
Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological
longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
Male: Food, sex and beer.

Thingy
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strapfastener on a woman's bra.

Lesbian
Female: A woman who makes love to other women.
Male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really
turned on.

Glass ceiling
Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper
levels in business.
Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the
office one flight up.

Vulnerable
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing ball without a cup (jock).

Communication
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with
the guys.

Butt
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look
bigger."
Male: The organ of mooning (and farting).

Commitment
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
Male: An endless source of enterainment, self-expression and male bonding.


Making love
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy that a couple can achieve.
Male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

Remote control
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

Taste
Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure
it's good.
Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to
tossing it out.