Ritsuko finished her examination of Misato.

"Well... looks like your drinking has finally caught up with you, Major Katsuragi... your sudden gain in weight? Well, you're getting a beer belly, 10 pounds of solid fat in nice thick roles on your belly."

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

"Oh, and the rest of the weight is probably caused by... let's see... let me check the urine test again... yup."

"What else could go wrong?"

"You're 3 months pregnant."

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! ..... ..... .... Is it Kaji's?"

"Erm... nope. Which means he's all mine now!"

"NOOOOOO!!!! Ritsuko, get back here so I can kill you!"

"Hah! You'll never catch me lugging all that extra mass with you! Fat drunken slob! Nyah, nyah!"

6 month's later.

"Come on, push, Misato, PUSH!"

"Goddamnit! Why'd I keep this baby??? I don't really want one, it's probably got Fetal Alchohol Syndrome, even though I stopped drinking once I found out, and the worst part is, the whole of NERV hasn't managed to find the father! Dammit, we double checked Kaji (didn't trust that witch Ritsuko), Hyuga, I even checked Shinji, Toji and Kensuke. Even Gendo and Fuyutsuki agreed to DNA testing to stop the rumors about them getting me."

"Oh, my goodness!?!"

Instead of a baby, out popped an egg. The shell of which swiftly cracked, and out came a yellow beak, a a tiny black and white body.

"WARK!"

"EEEEEAAAARGHHHHhhh.... egh... whew. Just a dream. Right... gotta remember not to have any more of my own cooking just before bed," grumbled Misato to herself, "Oh, and, Pen-Pen?"

"Wark?"

"It was fun, but we're gonna have to stop sleeping together."

Author's notes: No matter what ANYBODY says, there will NEVER be a sequel to this. Any unofficial sequels will result in me hunting down and hurting the writer... there are just some lines that you never cross... twice.