Worthy

By: Hotaru/Amber

Dedicated to anyone who has memories of an orchid or empty fields.

If it’s cryptic, don’t ask. ;) Questions or Comments (and maybe even criticisms!) are always welcome at: hikarinokaze@yahoo.com

~Worthy~

She shines like a brilliant pearl in the blue skies, hair flying out as she releases a celestial power over time. Her senshi stand around her in an equally brilliant circle, glowing with the forces of their planets, and, sometimes I suspect, by their sheer will.

The moments lasts but a fraction of a second longer, and then the light begins to fade. She floats back to the earth - my beautiful bride - and the others rush to her fallen side.

I move more slowly, taking it in as I run. I arrive just as Saturn has begun to heal her. She looks up at me...

"Mamo... chan..."

And I freeze. She looks at me, a bit confused, but I shake myself out of it and am suddenly by her side. And she smiles, that sweet, youthful smile... the smile of a princess from the Moon.

As the others begin moving about, and my wife prepares to stand, I find myself cooling again.

My split second timing has turned into the "just make it at the last minute" timing, and, as so many of our later missions have gone, I have been less than useful to the Sailor Senshi that guard this planet.

They risk their lives, again and again, and I find that I am growing next to useless.

We're about 10 years into the Crystal Millenium, ruled by my wife Serenity and I. And I wouldn't be the one to say its been an uneventful ten years - ruling a country is increasingly busy work - but as time has moved on I have found myself with a bit of a discomfort.

I didn't understand what that was until today.

~ @ ~

If you stepped back from the door

To the universe,

Would you see my light still shining

From the other side?

Can you remember what we were like,

Back then -

So full of hope and life?

Will you wait for me -

I promise to return -

Wait until the sun grows dark?

I'm coming home,

My love.

Please keep the faith,

You know I'm going to come home.

Just wait, wait at that shining door,

And I'll do everything I can in the world.

To make it home again.

~ @ ~

I walked back alone to the palace, as the rest of the senshi were still exploring the city on the hunt for any remainders to Casseiopia's army. The sun had just begun to set, and sparkled an almost wine-red behind the crystal of the palace. And suddenly, I couldn't go forwards.

What was I going back for? What was I going to do?

Was I really fit to rule?

What had I done, anyways?

I had married the right woman. I felt my head bow slightly and the pressure of my clenched fists. Only she deserved to rule. Only she had fought for this. I had believed in her - but was that really enough?

It didn't feel like it.

So - in the end - I looked up at the sky - I was unworthy.

The palace suddenly looked very empty.

The air was cold, and it blew slowly around me. Cold - so cold - but my mind already made up. I couldn't say for how long. Long, it seemed. Quite long. But I turned.

And I left.

~ @ ~