Run 1557, 5 December at Pulo Rida, near Merak. A Kocked-up weekend.

Hare: Konkrete Kock Co-Hares: Kollected Kocks.

Stats: Members 1, Batavia Hashers 62, Pussy Hashers 2, TGIF 0, KH3 4, Total 69.

Run 1558, 7 December from Permata Sentul to Sentul Selatan. The Pearl of Great Price run.

Hare: Itchy Crotch Co-Hares banyak (all other Nips in Jakarta): Botaksan, Yoshi, Tajima

Stats: Members 36, plus 5 Visitors/New Members/Past-it Members – Total 41, plus 1 non attending, hence non registered, but paid, and 1 non payer - Total paid 41. VR = 60 (as if you cared).

There was heavy bidding for car keys to avoid the sheer horror of another Jap run. Vatican Rag and Bob Coombes won. Stirstick pre-emptied proceedings by setting off at 4.00pm, only to find Clumpy had already set off. The remaining intrepid explorers gathered their gear, torches, sleeping bags, cyanide pills. Anguish opened a brand new shoe box, only to have Sheepskin dissolve all the shoe’s glue with that most corrosive substance known to hashkind - Anker. It was a nice view, nice breeze, seemed like a perfect place for a circle. But no, off up, and up and to no-ones surprise, (except optimistic souls who checked down at a check halfway up ) to the top of the hill, where a long check back allowed even B1O to catch up. There were multiple choices with preferred checking towards Hambelan. It did not of course go there. A long lope downhill led to a bridge over the river Kwai, and a dense jungle of cassava through which we looped. Then on towards Sentul Selatan’s Jap club. The front was in by 6.00, most others by 6.20, including Stirstick and Clumpy, who took longer than the hares. Since it was cool, and there was a chance to recover on the hilltop as the pack milled around, nearly everyone enjoyed the run. This was not at all the spirit of the occasion.

On arrival hashers were presented with their pink and blue uniforms and a plastic box full of plastic food, none of it raw, without sharp utensils. The escape committee had already deleted KK from the guards but had lost KonkK, whilst Tarzan must have defected. Their absence was not noted. As senior officer, Sheepskin read out the punishment roster. He praised the guards for f***ing Americans regularly over the last 50 years, and gave dd’s to Pearl Bailey, Bill Bailey, a couple of well f***ed Americans, together with the Zero designer and Mrs Schmitt. He then called in all the de Focke’s, far too many of them followed by gangs of new members etc. Superbrat was acknowledged as the JH3 rep on 1557, with awards for others present who were not there.

B1O tried to evade solitary confinement by calling it "run of the year" but we all know he has problems of perception. Hashers were too drugged by sake to proffer negative comments. There was agreement that it was not as long as it could have been, and rated a good run.

The MM refused my challenge to write an appropriate Jap song in the car, "From the whores of Okinawa, to the slums of Tokyo..." to the US marine hymn would have done nicely. Instead we got "In Mobile" presumably in honour of our drivers. Superwimp RA gave Clumpy a dry 250 run shirt to put on. Not dry for long. In return, Clumpy gave us a joke about dry camels. Even in Japanese the punchline made no sense. And talking of punches:

The stony circle site was abandoned for a more abrasive area where a white circle was drawn. The guards selected volunteer scapegoats for special punishment known as Sumo. Eventually only one was left and returning to the circle was placed on ice to recover. It was all far too competitive for the hash, otherwise Clumpy would have won easily. Who won? Who cares. In honour of comfort women, MM sang "f***ing hell she’s ugly" but a co-hare brought purity back to the hash, in a very touching song accompanied by lowering of blue kecks.

A Blue Mountain Ranger dreams a song of a young generation for Blue Mountain.

Then a young student boy and girl in their room.

Visiting MM’s trilled "Big Bamboo", "Blitish Soldier" (Stirstick), "The Clap again" , "The Lobster" (Ad the Loo). The Hare’s song didn’t get a translation, but seemed to be "a butt f*** song".

As the circle drew to a close and hashers readied their hymnals, the guest of dishonour appeared. Many thought it was KK, or KK’s dad. But no, he took out his teeth to prove it was really KonkK. The hare handed him a ceremonial package, but forgot the sword. Could have put a new complexion upon "Swing Low".

Many thanks to the Japanese navy for creating this event 57 years ago. And to the hares for the kimonos, excellent lunch boxes, and sake to lubricate hashers voices.

It is unlikely that the hares went anywhere. It’s even more unlikely that Stirstick and friend’s didn’t.

WW. 8/12/98