Run on TGIF's 700th run Friday 5 February. Polo club, Sentul Selatan. Almost the last chance to suffer through a Lame Cock circle. GM's change next time. Bring a wife, girlfriend, someone else's wife, daughter.

The scribe awaits contributions, songs, jokes, naked pictures of harriettes. Post 'em on the web before B1O nicks 'em for the yearbook, if there is one.

Run a Volcano Weekend at Garut from 9-11 April. Live volcanoes. Extinct hares. By coach with lots of Anker.

Annunciations Expect lots of Cliterature on Hash Africa later this year from Lickaclit. Visit Pan Indo Hash on the 6-8 th floors of the Malang Hotel. Tarzan can point you in the right direction.

Run 1565, 25 January at the much overused Ali Baba. Was it Burns night or Oz day? Hares: Anguish and Sore Rail

Stats: Members 37, plus 6 New Members/Visitors - Total 43. VR derivative=63.

There was no kangaroo, although MM later made a belated attempt at "Bestiality Best." Nor were there haggi (haggises), a wee scotch beastie, not to be confused with Wee Shagger, & not dissimilar in appearance to Dripper's moustache. The RA had no affinity for either creature, & put a dampener on the proceedings. A big black cloud gathered overhead by 6.35 as the circle started & dumped heavily upon us. When the RA was threatened with ice, he made it go away, but not for long, so the overwhelming majority call got GoBlokM sitting, albeit under his umbrella. Since this failed to stop the rain, some unknown person (not unlike B-1-o) wielded the iced bucket treatment. The rain stopped. However, first came the run.....

Early arrivals became excited by the sight of a lone hare setting out at 4.10 with a bag (presumably of paper, but it actually held his sandwiches and a few beers). Tarzan was suspicious of the hares intent and brought along a full army brigade, who wandered through the run area in full kit, including guns, to ensure hounds stayed on the trail. Sceptics said no, Wiranto had popped along to the whorehouse at the second bridge upstream and the troops were to prevent the hash clapping up the women first.

At 5.00 Konkrete Kock - the new Hashit holder - send out the pack with instructions to get lost ( so he could lose his shit). Many did. But not enough . At 5.30 the co-hare arrived straight from the office. Such antics by the hares were a blatant attempt to gain sympathy for an under reccied run in overly hashed cuntricide. Anguish even phoned B-1-o at 3.30 to come and help him. Fat chance. B-1-o was happily ensconced in a pub and had no intention of moving or helping.

How many harriers noted that the fresh paper at the start turned to sodden matted clags after the first check? Could it have been laid yesterday? Yes, it was. And no-one saw the hare lurking and laughing in the bushes at the next check. He had plenty to laugh about.

Shamcock was delighted that the art of checking had been rediscovered, whereas BB's run was unsullied by paper, and Euan Ross found it like a Scottish shithouse - short of paper. Rubher Turd was merely confused. So what's new. GoBlokM was heading backwards for a good run and several Right Honourable gentlemen, Mudguard, Holy Joop, Ad Lib, Col.Bloodknott to mention but 2, failed to go left. But Jungle Fucker sussed it out. "It must have been a wagga wagga," he said. For the uninitiated, this is not an Aboriginal abortion, despite Oz day, but a trail that goes out, and out, and out, until at a wagga sign you return (as best you can). I have never seen such chaos as at the third check where the entire pack was scattered over two hillsides and a sawah, plaintively calling, "ARE YOU," until a squeak from Tarzan with echoing roars from Witless and Dripper showed the way left and back along the pipeline. Verdict: A Fukking Good run.

The rain certainly encouraged the diminishing circle syndrome. Dd's for the mismanagement, and Returners. But what happened to Newcomers and Visitors. Two of them had dd's. Had the others left, or were they left out there. We'll never know. And no, we don't care. Nor do we care that Holy Joop got his 200 run mug on his 207 ^th run.

With icicles hanging from his own rear, RA announced he was converted to the true path and no longer eschewed ice. He sought revenge for his rain stopping performance from Herpes and Anguish, who he claimed shouted loudest for him. Not to be outdone he later iced Witless W, and said he should have done this far more regularly. Watch out, he will be evangelising on the next hash. Maybe he'll remember to bring some dry strides too.

Tarzan has always bent over backwards to help our dearly beloved leader. But last week the HM got shit. (A well deserved hashit I might add). So will Tarzan, the heir apparent, now be charged with sodomy and corruption? He was iced for reaching such an honest verdict last week. Tarzan says he'll bring in the army every week, and is prepared to offer them seats on next year's committee. Prepare the way for HM's new favourite clown prince - Cockney Git.

Shamcock demonstrated MM's lack of staying power with a few belated and wet verses of Kirriemuirs Balls and Bestiality. But co-hare Sore Rail got complete attention when he put down his tartan umbrella and gave an "Ode to the Tamamour" followed by a great rendition of "Grandfather's Ball." It's in the (old, big) songbook. "There was a lassie with a black hairy arsey, who was lifting up the kilties, at Grandfather's ball."

The Hare in his Anker Tam-o-shanta bravely tried to sing an Aussie song which he had no idea of the tune, but the circle decided "Glory, Glory" worked quite well. Having failed, he tried another Oz song, which he'd written in the previous century and had also long forgotten the tune, appropriate though, chorus something about, "And your arse is on the ice, You smile at the RA, And you say that's fucking nice."

MM somewhat retrived honour with spirited renditions of "Rajah of Astrakan" and "Alive, Alive Oh" and not to be outdone the circle offered back to him, "Paddy, Paddy, You're an Rsole through and through."(Tune: Glory, Glory).

Sponsors. Short notice run, no sponsors, but thanks for future sponsors who pay Cockney Git to stay away. And the hares thank Dingo Dick for the promised Ozzie dogs, which no doubt we'll get later.

On-On-On. At Ali Baba, next to the site, for 14 fortunate hashers. Good food.

Now Idul Fitri is over, the scribe seeks forgiveness from all those he plans to libel over the next few months. WW. 26/1/99