Hashshit Holder Konkrete Kock

Volcano Run - Bolt-1-On and Herpes - 9^th-11^th April

Put the date in your diary now and book half a days cuti - a weekend of running up and down, in and out, live and extinct, volcanoes near Cipanas, Garut, Bali. A bargain at Rp.450,000. Bis2 will be provided to the runs. Application forms from Herb or Herb.

 Pan-Indo 6^th - 8^th August 1999, Malang

Hosted by Brawijaya Hash. Register now by telpon to (0341) 324966 - 357375 or by fax to (0341) 580239 - 363617. Still only Rp.200,000Details from Tarzan Speaking. Note that Pan-Indo 2000 will be in Jakarta.

1999 Yirbuk

This will be put together by Bolt-1-On, Angie Baby and JP (Soixante Puff). Assistance needed with getting sponsors and providing material or anything else that could be used without risking court action. Hurry, Hurry, Hurry!!!!!!!!!!!

 PanAfrica Hash

The run of the year at Victoria falls - see Lickaclit for details - he forgot to bring them this week

 At JH3 This Week: Shamcock's last run.

Run 1566, 1^st February. Hare: Shamcock, Co-Hares: Dripper, Russell Jones (who needs a name)

Stats: Members 36, plus 1 Visitors - a Virgin - Hank Martin de Jong = Total 37

It is always interesting to run a Hash in country that is not often used. Even though this was down Jl. Alternatif, it was beyond the usual site of Ali Baba. The rumah makan Saga was the location and this rumah makan is situated on the side of a ravine. The groans of those Hashers who did not want to get their feet wet were heard before the start of the lari. However one Hasher, Uncle Bob, got one of his feet wet before the run as he christened his new shoes with the holy water otherwise known as Anker. By the way, Mudguard is looking for a new pembantu as his current one brings his shoes back to new condition each week and he keeps getting threatened with christening his sepatu every week.

The committee have reportedly (yes the Scribes are part of the Committee but I was out of the country for the last meeting) been considering different ratings for runs apart from "good run" and "Hashshit", the latter being, as we know, "a good run, fucked up". This run was described as a BOG-of-a Run. Maybe this is one to remember - a run laid by Boring Old Gits! But what other ratings are possible? This depends on how you classify runs - by the degree of difficulty, by the effort made by the hares, by the beauty of the surroundings, by the enjoyment to the Hashers, the abundance of LBFMs or whatever. Descriptions like "Pussy Run" and "Cunt-of-a-Run" are self explanatory and not original. We also have heard runs described as a "Death March", particularly those laid by our Japanese Hares. What about "A Wank in the Park" for an easy run or "A Clinton" for a run that goes on forever. A "Tampax run" could be a bloody awful run. Any suggestions - send your e-mail to the scribe for on-ward transmission.

The run itself was a rather obvious rightie. The start was interesting following the path out of the back of the restaurant down steps, up steps (did anyone else notice that the earth had been washed away from below the concrete?) and beside a waterfall. The trail then crossed the river and went up a very slippery and prickly bank. On this rare occasion the gentlemanly spirit buried deep inside Hashers rose to the surface as each Hasher helped the person in front or behind up the difficult slope. Vatican Rag, who due to his long experience and GSM system knows every run site in the Jakarta area, was of course waiting for us at the top of the bukit having started early and walked around on the jalan. The run weaved around through kampong and country with a few checks but the Hares should have heeded Tarzan's advice - don't lay checks near kampongs! So far, bagus sekali. An interesting varied run with the pack kept together and even slow coachers like me keeping up. Then things got worse. We crossed a load of tanah merah - a desert bowl - and turned ke kanan down the side of the valley. Maybe the Hares got bored or lost interest. The trail went on for banyak kilometres with a few obvious side loops. Then, guess what, the trail crossed the valley and went back up the other side following the pipeline for a few kilometres. The finish promised to be a bit more interesting but no, more tanah merah up to the jalan besar and on-in.

What did the Hashers think? - who cares I hear you say. Lickaclit thought it was an OK-lah run. Hashman had a lot to say but not about the run as he went left, not right. The virgin runner thought it was too easy. Witless congratulated Shamcock on his reverse Hashshit technique "a bad run, not cocked up". KK thought it was half a Death March - was he on the same run? Tarzan called for a Hashshit because of those checks near kampongs. Superbrat had decided that the Hare was looking for early retirement and had taken the long boring easy trail. Hardcase was asked for his opinion but he had already given it - HRHHM therefore awarded himself a DD. GoBlokM had nothing to say about the run but only about HRHHM who currently holds the Hashshit title - is he qualified to hold a run discussion? In the end the HM thought it was verging on a Hashshit (is he verging on insanity?) but declared it a good run. So Konkrete Kock remains the Hashshit holder - but for how long?

The circle formed and the usual DDs were given to Konkrete Kock's Dream Team (what does he dream about? - I thought it was little boys) - Tarzan as JHM, Mudguard as MM, Botkasan as Hash Cash, Pretty Boy as Flasher and yours truly as Scribbler. DDs were also awarded to Dingo Dick and BB for that most heinous crime on the Hash, making it a competitive sport. The Yirbuku Dream Team were given a DD, Angie, JP (Soixante Puff) and Bolt-1-On. As the last dua were not around, look-alikes Hashman and Tom Jones stood in (some look-alikes!!).

Holy Joop was given a drink for leaving and coming back. Our virgin was put on ice - what was Konkrete Kock's devious plan? We'll never find out as, on enquiring who had brought him, his father Fred owned up and was iced instead. There were a couple of rounds of returners. LAC was punished for taking his Nonya to BATS - unfortunately he thought the HM said BED and immediately denied it. Instead of the ice he opted for a short rendition of "Four and Twenty virgins".

Shamcock's leaving. The end of an era for the 170 run Hasher, nine hares, 2 co-hares and no Hashshits (unlike the HM). Also MM twice and twice Scribe - he must be a masochist. MM led a heartfelt rendition of "He's Leaving Jakarta". Selamat Jalan and fuck off.

The co-hare Russell Jones (Russell, two Ss and two Ls but NO HASH NAME) sang "The S and M Man". This has been sung before but is highly rated for winning song of the tahun.

Co-hare Dripper sang "My God How the Money Rolls In" in an unoriginal way. More DDs for the wankers in the circle - Witless, Hardcase, Elephant Man, Tarzan, KK, Botaksan. Shamcock entertained us with "Sweet Molly Malone". However the crowd rose as one to the rendition by Col. Bloodknock of an Irish ditty - don't know the title "Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Aar, Aar, Aar ?"

There was a brief interlude of DDs for golfers and a few golf jokes followed by lagi songs and jokes the best of which was from Filthy Phil about a Punk Rocker and a Nun on a train from London to Scotland. Ask him yourself.

The On-On was Rumah Makan Saga at the run site. The food was enak but too few stayed - was there some other, more important event?? Thanks to the Hares for free nosh. Shame about the lack of it!

Keep on Hashing - bring your friends, enemies, boss, son, father, grandfather etc.