Spiders Awake http://www.oocities.org/Tokyo/Garden/6835

Check out the JH3 web site. Is your picture there yet? Send any unsuitable material to B-1-O for the yearbook. He wants articles by the end of March. Ads for yearbook can be offered to Jean Phillipe at Lane. Has JC paid for last year?

Run a Volcano Weekend at Garut from 9-11 April. Live volcanoes. Extinct hares. Book now. Contact Boltong, Motz, Snellgrove for registration. Essential equipment listed includes a small towel, presumably in case you start menstruating on the run.

1111 Pussies It's got to be better than Dalmatians. Join them on Saturday 27 February, 3pm, at Hambalang.

What's 700 x 69? It's the number of (big) 69 dd's consumed by BH4 hoons. Try it. Be Happy, Drink Bintang, Get Shitfaced, at Anyer on Saturday 20 February. Details from Peter Grogan or any sober Batavia hasher.

Big Apple Run with Pan Indo at Malang on 6-8 August. Clear and concise information from Drs.Speaking.

Who's Shit is it anyway? Scribes never apologise 'cos we're never wrong and Konkrete Kock deeply deserved the hashit. Sheepskin is bitterly miffed because he claims the shit himself. An independent commission will fail to decide.

Run 1565, 8 February at Sentul Selatan, nr Auckland. Hares: Vatican Rag, Maandi, BB

Stats: Members 32, plus 6 New Members/Visitors - Total 37.

Back in 1768, before even Browneye was spawned, Thomas Cook arranged a package tour of the Pacific and places best left undiscovered, and his cousin Jimmy Endeavoured to lead it. Stupid Pome tourists couldn't find their way home, and since they didn't bring any women along, mated with the local sheep and produced New Zealanders, not to be confused with equally uncouth yobbos who also can't speak English called old Zealanders. They liked the country because it reminded them of England, bleak, wet and dreary. They continue to this day to have relationships with sheep, since they're much prettier than NZ women and don't bleat as much.

By 1840, having manifestly failed to exterminate the native population, though succeeding with much of the wildlife (including the winky wanky bird), they made an agreement at WANKER TANGY, not far from Sentul Selatan, where they agreed to retain 15 niggers to form a football team. Seemingly, even then, it was contentious, the Governor wrote to Queenie, "We have always had very serious doubts whether the treaty of Waitingi , made with naked savages by a consul invested with plenipotentiary powers, without ratification by the Crown, could be considered by lawyers as anything but a praiseworthy device for amusing and pacifying savages for the moment."

No, it wasn't that boring. Even Tom Jones confessed it was nice cuntricide. The dream Kiwi team included BB, whose only antipodean roots involved a dark and seedy bar at Interhash in Rotarua. Vatican suggested we count sheep on the way round; better than trying to count overtakers. There weren't any. We predicted a figure 8. It was. An initial bottleneck at a bridge was solved by swimming and then follow the river round several meanders over a hill until the trail looped hard left. Several recrossed the river to the right and followed yet unlaid pussy paper back home. The pack slipped and slid crissing and crossing the canal and back to the motorway bridge. Early runners back just before 6.00 and the rest soon after. A good run, except for Tajima San who toured the environs of Bogor until 7.18 looking for sheep (just before the end of announcements at 7.21). It might not be a long a winding run... but the announcements...

Nobody, but nobody passed Vatican Rag this week. It's high time there was a new index of run deviousness. Fak-Fak was not overtaken, nor did he overtake, but said there's good country to the right. Witless offered the Dragon solution as he was passed on the run by 3 Bogor Buggers, and Peter Gardiner - twice. Surprised to find HamHead and Anguish back already without them passing, learned, "We were on paper, but there's few things in this country that can't be improved by judicious editing." Dripper decided, "Just for a change, I thought I'd see what they'd done." Stupid git. Regarding life at the front, a Bogorite said, "It was good fun, but a bit lonely." Superbrat, a late starter, almost caught up with them. And commenting on life in the fast LANE, Jean Phillipe claimed to driven like a madman, but still arrived late, and like any god Belgian, did it backwards. Counting lost sheep seems easier.

Security guards arrived at the circle in a Securitor truck to carry off the requested site fee of half a juta, only to be misled by Vatican Rag who side-tracked them to the local Lura where they were given a copy of the Wanker's treaty to read, which promises free running to all hashers who do not bank at Lippo. Next hare here is recommended to offer a packet of fags. By the way, Tarzan exhorts fifthcoming hares not to do it near kampung.

The HM had a glacial response for the racing activities of the 3 blind Bogor bastards who didn't waste their breath in calling. They stayed there through the announcements to ensure full attention. Some heretic on JH3 noted that HWHMH had wasted any breath horning. Announcements rarely get the attention of the scribe, dd's for committee faithful, returners, new members, visitors, putative early leavers. Did no-one tell the Ozzy Ambassador that it's the height of disrespect to hold Ozzy day parties on Monday evenings, and near NZ day. Ozzy day itself passed without much notice two weeks ago.

The RA kept incipient rain away by bouncing up and down himself on the ice. It succeeded; do tell GoBlokM to do likewise. My notes say that RA then congratulated Manchester United for beating the King of Jordan? Anyway, Yassir Arafat and Matt Busby both got a drink. So did Jungle Fucker for contributing his own 500 run mug. Congratulations to Hardcase, on 600 runs, nice clean shirt. Don't disturb him, he's spending this week writing a song, promised next week. We did get a joke, about a guy who had a bird with long legs and a tight pussy - moral, never trust a Jeannie.

Maandi is lined up for the next hash music after a masterful demonstration of pulling BB's strings, yanking him at high speed around the circle, exhorting the joys of fornication. And Maandi's lips hardly moved. In contrast BB himself did a solo, "I'd love to be in Auckland, I do, I do, except for one small problem. It's full, it's full, of pissed up Kiwi bastards."

Magic Dragon returned to the hash for the first time this year and stood in as hash music bringing new original songs such as Loopy. The Hare, never one to over exert himself, sang a Maori war dance followed his standard version of Faure's Requiem for a dead sheep.

Sponsors. Thanks to Analysis Petroleum Inspection for the vests.

On-On-On. At Seafood 99, spontaneous ordering by BB produced good value makan.