Run a Volcano Weekend at Garut from 9-11 April. Hare guarantees asphyxiation from sulphur fumes along the way. Medivac not included. Only 70 places possible on 50 seater bus and due to the recent booking frenzy only 69 are still available.

1111 Pussies The Hash Mistress sent her private member to invite us. Saturday 27 February, 3pm, at Hambalang. Rp 40,000 includes free food, Anker, give aways and Pussies. It is a point to point.

Have you tried SEX on Saturday. Come to the rebirth of the SEX hash on Saturday 13 March at Ali Baba II on Jl Alternatif. No longer Surabaya ex hash, it's now Saturday Exceptional H3, the latest venture by Lame Cock and Quickie. It's mixed.

Run 1569, 22 February at Polo Club, Sentul Selatan. Hares: MGM, Pom-Pom, Surya

Stats: Members 39, plus 7 New Members/Visitors - Total 46.

HM set off as the hares back was turned, only to be frantically called back before he hit the in-trail up the hill. It went down. The trail was a tunnel through the undergrowth and putative runners were held up as Jonesy tried to extricate his raised umbrella. The led to the moat, a raging river with a high wall beyond in order to enter gulag Lippo. Crossing a corner of the unused golf coarse there was an even wider moat, with 2 foot standing waves. The leaders piled on through un-de-turd. Wiser hashers realised that if the run turned left, you didn't need to cross it at all, or if it went right, there was a bridge. The Ilham rescue squad went for the bridge. As it turned out, the run went neither left nor right at this point but straight up a steep ridge in order to give hashers a birds eye view of the serried ranks of identical unsold Lippo liability on the opposite hill, a veritable feast for the local ryap population which is reducing their real value even further. Jackoff confessed to owning on of these no so little boxes, but doesn't live there because it's a bit lonely with no neighbours.

Eventually the trail went left, bashed through crops and re-entered the gulag so hashers could get a better view of this twentyfirst century slum, and through the estate and back into the Polo Club collecting the wise left cutters along the way. It took over an hour and a quarter to complete MGM's announced 45 minute run. A group of more discerning hashers disdained further incursions into suburbia and meandered right on a delightful tour of a river valley with firm paths through the crops, getting in just before 6.00pm. And we even found bridges for Ilham's benefit.

By 6.38 the circle had long since gathered and Tarzan was goaded into starting. Committee members got a drink. However Tarzan got little thanks from HM who appeared and removed him from the middle and called in anyone even vaguely slitty eyed to have a new year drink, or hare of the dog. Dike was presented with a necklace made from the remains of his Mercedes last year. Peter Stork was welcomed to JH3 and thanked for his efforts with the last Jungle run. Russell Jones, known elsewhere as Crusty Nuts was welcomed onto JH3 committee as a replacement for the departed Shamcock. Returners, new members visitors all got dd's together with B-1-O who went bitch sniffing on last Thursday's run and needed several stitches on his head after charging headlong into a barbed wire fence.

Jonesy apologised for competitive running yet again, and Angie wittered on about a bunny hop. Several hashers castigated the hares for excess crop bashing but most voices showed approval and muttered crap like "good run." Even BB liked it, though no-one actually saw him on the run. Shamcock wasn't there either but would also have said it was a good run. So it was.

The new MM tried waking up the circle during the announcements with "Baltimore," but roused little interest as we were all avidly awaiting the next announcement. However "Waves of Pubic Hare" generated a bit more enthusiasm. In accepting his 600 run mug, Hardcase finally delivered his promised song, which he's spent the last two weeks plagiarising, "My Favourite Things." It was received with enthusiasm by the circle. Which is more than could be said for the hairs song. It had a theme of "Gong Xi Fat Cai" but wasn't quite co-ordinated. Neither was their follow up attempt of "Burung Saya Besar," seems like MGM got besar as PomPom got kecil. They were rewarded for their efforts with a turn on the ice. Which after half a joke from Herpes, he's obviously trying to emulate Tarzan, left the MM "Jerking Off in Silence."

We used to think he was GoBlok, but anyway, M (the RA) desperately tried to show he's not such a woos by icing some private partiers during the song. Being punished by him normally resembles being savaged by a dead rabbit. In his inimitable vay he sprecht, "It's not very tropical , is it." The vacated ice was later filled by Japanese look alikes, or were they Chinese; all these Germans look the same. And look alike Franky Benfield found an ice seat too. And got back there later too when he volunteered a song which started like, "Swing lo...." before popular acclaim put him where he deserved. RA sniffed out a few more sinners, mostly low profiles before Tarzan gave us the real "Swing Low."

HAIR SHIRTS Thanks to the Hares for T-shirt and Makan.

KELINCI BAKAR. The hares arranged a barbecue on site. Thanks, good makan.