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Well the rats are leaving the ship. A paltry 26 runners set off from a site near to the entrance to Emeralder Golf Club. It was a point to point. None of that unseasonal rain, that we have been having, and as such it was again dry and hard underfoot, for those intent on getting their names in the record books. Ideal running conditions for this elite field. There was a noticeable absence of the band of dawdlers, saunterers and strollers that usually accompany us.  

Tempers were stretched as it took five minutes to find paper, but then we were very soon into the golf course itself. Skirting the greens, in and out of the sand traps and across the water hazards. A number of golfers waved us by, with their mashie niblicks. Yoshi [who had been off the blocks early], commented how sporting one such group was as they also waved to him, when he mistakenly ran across a fairway in front of them.

 In many ways it was an OK run, we avoided too much kampung, but also missed out on the sawah and singkong. There was no crops to be bashed, this week, which was to the disgust of a one [cloggy] hasher who left early, to go home and trample his wife’s tulip patch. Much of the run was along small cobbled roads, which would have been avoided by more experienced hares. We crossed the tol on a number of occasions and doubt was always in one’s mind as to where the finish would be. Advertised as a run in three parts, A, B and C, we were concerned by 5.45pm that there was no sign of B. Anycase B turned out to be the end of A and beginning of C – so that was a relief. B was a service station on the tol where the hares laid on drinks and gave out shirts. B to C was a car ride to Cibubur Boy Scouts Camp. The pack had mostly arrive between 5.55 and 6.05pm. Dark clouds to the south beckoned!

 As the circle started there was a general sense of relief that RA Herpes was missing. Manchester United had annihilated Bayern Munich, in the European Cup, during the week, and there was the worry of a malicious backlash from the fatherland. Maybe he’d seen the response to the victory, by the reds, on the streets of Jakarta, and decided to lie low.

 The circle start with down downs for various returners, Stretch, Surya, Jungle Fucker, BB and Botaksan: son of Leeky Dick was in for being a new member: Simply Fred for being Dutch: Itchy Cock for something else: Tarzan was in for loosing the plot: the English were in for loosing at cricket again: our new hash master tried to assert himself but failed under the pressure the Two Super Egos [the hares] and he left early: comments from around the circle that he continues to protect the interests of his erstwhile leader are something that he will have to addressed in the future: Fanny breached the void left by the disappearing HM as hash trash Jonesie actually opened the boot [trunk] of his car but the ‘the cupboard was bear.’: thankfully there were no childish or puerile comments concerning the fact that Hardcase was drinking softies: Maandi sheepishly said something and was awared a down down: Next Week since being named Next Week has come to life and said something half funny [for an American]: our Kamikaze hashers were subdued except for Yoshie who claimed to have been on paper for the whole run [this may though have been an example of a Japanese Joke]: a group of Golkar supporting hashers were punished: the Rope quietly left the circle early [his wife is away at the moment !]: Angie’s bitching and moaning was light relief from [Tyranicalasaurus] Herpes: There were a lot of in-jokes and innuendoes about visits to Oscars and ‘things’ being blocked in swimming pool outlets.

MM. Col. Bloodclot raised the subdued atmosphere of the proceedings to fever pitch, with renditions of Ode to Tony Walker [tune - Eleanor Ribgy], My Sister Belinda [tune - ci ci sen…..] and other memorables. [There were only 16 hashers left at 7.15]. With the circle starting to really buss BB entered and attempted to tell us a joke. It was long, poorly presented and had no punch line. The experience was embarrassing for Chris and left the circle rather deflated. A word of advice to Chris, keep trying, but please practice, practice, practice before hand, so that there are no reoccurrences of such incidents. Try something short to start with, such as:

Question. Why do women have tits? Punch line. So that men will talk to them [Ha Ha]. Short [<30 seconds], simple but effective Chris.

Chris, you are always welcome, but please think before you act again! [the Committee].

 The run had been set to commemorate The Heroes. who stayed, last year, to hash ‘while Jakarta burned.’ Unfairly perhaps, some people thought that they had only stayed, during he unpleasantness, to avoid the high price of beer in Singapore. The hairs sponsored the shirts, but there was no fighting, between my servants, over this one! Koncrete Kock sang a song, to the tune of ‘Hang Down your Head John Toomey.’ Bolt-1-On did not have a song and spent most of the evening on ice.

 Bolt-1-On once again took a lot of criticism and I for one would like to stand up and say that much of it is unfair. True he is a load mouthed, pompous, overbearing, egotistical, oafish bore [with bad breath], but I really can not believe that he is as bad as some people make out.

There were no achievements. Elephant Man [a fine athlete] received the Prick of the Week prize for no other reason than there were no outstanding candidates. Nomination was from Col. Stopcock, who game-fully soldiers on.

 ON-ON

 Is this going to be an example of what we can expect in the new millenium? A Big Mac in the rain!

 One again there was no news regarding HHHY2K compliance. It appears that out main suppliers have not been contacted. The consequences are to say the least worrying!

 Now I can get back to plucking my bonsai [E.M.].

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