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Run 1586, 15^th June. Hares: Tarzan, Bullshit
Stats: 24 Members, 1 New Member, 3 Visitors = Total 28

The storm clouds gathered over Jakarta, somewhat unseasonal for this time of the year. And it pissed it down! Hashers from all over Jakarta fought gallantly through the torrential rain battling against the odds (traffic jams at Taman Mini) and avoiding the hazards en route (accidents and vehicles in ditches). Those that made it were few. Were they put off by the atrocious conditions or was it the mis-directions in last week’s Hash Sheet (Sate Bangdul is NOT at Emeralda Golf Course – points for those that spotted the deliberate error). Or is it simply a lack of past, present and future Hashers in Jakarta taking advantage of the current political turmoil to take family vacation in – anywhere but Indonesia. But there were some who were not perturbed by the torrents of water and who are still enjoying life in Jakarta – stalwarts such as Tarzan – well he was the Hare – Jonesy, Bolt-1-On, Stretch, Fanny, Bob Coombes (when will someone give him a name?) as well as some brave first timers in the form of three visitors and a newcomer. The runners gathered under the Honourable Hash Anker umbrella only to find that this design of umbrella is cleverly aerated to let the warm air rise. Unfortunately this also lets the rain through – maybe it is just the condition of the ageing relic – any chance of a new one, Sukardi? Hash Trash, Jonesy, was more than willing to take money for umbrellas despite there being no stock – in production so he said! Lost opportunity, I say!

Having braved the elements, the briefing circle formed in the semi-darkness in response to the Honourable Hash Masters recently acquired replacement Honourable Horn. The rain had subsided but conditions under-foot were likely to be sodden wet. The Hare then gave us the bad news – the paper was the finely chopped variety that approaches disintegration – the sort used for top military secrets of the embassies around town. (Try gluing that back together, you bastards!). It is also the sort that washes away easily and hides itself in crops, grass and puddles. The pack groaned and set off, for once on the right direction (there wasn’t much choice). Trailing along paths through crops out into dripping wastelands that were to be developments, the pack managed to find some paper and the checks. Whether it was the judicious use of checks or the appalling weather conditions but for once the pack remained reasonably together. There was a clever check into a housing area which had The Rope and Bolt-1-On somewhat lost but we did manage to catch the tailenders. The area is well known so it was difficult to get lost despite the early darkness and hard to locate paper. Obviously Tarzan’s office has issued an edict that due to the economic crisis paper is being rationed. Well it doesn’t apply to the Hash, Tarzan.

The Hashers gave the run a reasonably good rating despite the conditions, lack of paper and the fact it was laid by Tarzan (just kidding) but not everyone appreciated the extra benefit that they had gained from the run in terms of sheer physical exercise by carrying two kilos of laterite on each very muddy and very wet running shoe.

The entertainment of the night had to be seeing each Hashers’ approach to conducting the evenings proceedings in a third of a metre of mud. If you stood still too long, you gradually sank upto your ankles. Try to move and four kilos of mud went with you. At least the RA had managed to arrange for a cessation of the rain. Our Honourable Hash Master had done his arithmetic and realised that for such a small number to get through a full barrel would require much drinking – hence the deluge of down-downs to get us all as wet on the inside as on the outside. The spillage from these DDs added to the quagmire so that any movement required the poise of an ice-skater to prevent one going arse over tit (technical term). The first DD was to honour the rise and fall of Magic Dragon (somewhere on the run as evidenced by his running shorts – subtle eh?) Another notable DD was to Elephant Man who was heard discussing the merits of the various varieties of bananas along the run route – is he taking his name too seriously? During the run discussion, which was too predictable to repeat here and has been covered in substance above, Yoshi did express his sincere enjoyment of the run – it took him two hours to arrive from Ancol, long after the pack had left - he was able to enjoy the Anker beer whilst he waited for the runners to return.

Magic Dragon entertained with an extended rendition of "My, My, My Viagra" sung with great gusto and to the appreciation of the visitor/new member contingent. The Rope got the Prick of the week award for showing the wrong run site for this week – such is the pressure under which Scribes have to work – is there no compassion in this world. Which reminds me we are looking for a Scribe to fill a recently vacated position – any volunteers?

DDs aplenty continued to flow with the main theme being on politics depending on the colour of clothes, nationality, or any other excuse. The circle was drawing to a close as the HM was accused of being a stick in the mud – well he was wasn’t he, stuck in the mud – get it? Legal proceedings in political circles led to Fanny our resident liar, sorry lawyer, no I was right the first time, getting a DD. The circle closed on time and many stayed for excellent sate, rice chicken and dodgy looking soup which actually tasted quite good.

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