HASHSHIT HOLDERS Yoshi, KK and Botaksan

Statistics: 30 Members , 2 New Members, 1 Past Member, 1 Visitor. Total 34

The Hiroshima Day run is a big event in any hashers calendar, as it was on that fateful day in Japan in 1945. This was one of those popular point-to-point runs. The hares explained to me the symbolism of the run, but this will obviously be over the heads of most, and certainly all the Aussies and Kiwis. Starting at the war games site of the Paint Ball Club, near Gunung Putri, the first half was over a verdant landscape of picturesque sawah and tree lined hilltops, where happy smiling faces waved us on. The next section saw a dramatic change with hard cobbled pathways and a barren lunar landscape where sour faced old crones barely noticed our passing. Finally into the affluent grounds of Jagarowi Golf Club heralding more prosperous times.

Certainly the first half was excellent running country and the hares had made good use of it with interesting checks. Once over the toll the pack was already spread out and after snaking our way through kampung we eventually came out on to an area of cleared, red earth, hillside, and caught up with the short cutters. Vatican Rag was there misdirecting front runners and confusion abounded, before the trail was relocated. Over the river, up the hill, and then once more we were bewildered by the trail, but as we were so close to the Jagarowi Golf Club all assumed where home lay. We progressed in our different ways to the site. In order to retain a few brain cells I personally avoided one group of fuller figured, lard eating, hashers, Witless, VR and HM. The lack of paper from the clubhouse to the beer truck was seriously annoying. I arrived at 5.57pm, while less able members struggled home mostly by 6.20pm.

Giveaways: Headbands and noodles.

VR Run Rating: 115 / 34 = 3.4. [which is only 4.1 less than 7.5].

The run itself was overshadowed by a brutal, and some say well timed, decree by the HM, that noodles will in future by outlawed from the circle. For a second time in a row noodles [Jap] were made available by the hares for unsuspecting hashers, resulting in a delay in the start of the circle, lewd and unseemly jokes about noodles and unpremeditated outbreaks of farting. Please beware that, in future, spot noodle checks and/or noodle spot checks may become a regular part of your Monday evenings - with obvious consequences. [In a private discussion was HM he confirmed that spaghetti and tagliatelli would be considered as belonging to the noodle family, of foods, on all Mondays [5pm-8.30pm]. This will, of course, not apply, outside these times, for domestic or restaurant consumption].

In Defense of the Noodle: For those who may feel that the decree is unfair or an overreaction, a short time will be given, at the next circle, for your comments.

So after a chilling start to the events there were attempts to liven up the proceedings, the announcements brought some mild amusement and eventually we got to the run discussion. Maybe because it was Hiroshima Day the run received little criticism and was declared a good run. Although there were a few futile attempts at Japanese accents, awfully nice comments were made by BB, Bemo Bob*, Loony from Timika, Herpes*, Go-Block M*, Leeky Dick* and even the normally malevolent and acidic Witless*. [*denotes those with futile attempt at Japanese accent].

General Comments: These was a overall feeling that Vatican Rag should be blackballed for misdirecting runners and we will see next week if the HM has the balls to enforce any action; BB arrived from behind the trees with Fucky Wendy again: the Welsh provided 33.3% of the first 6 real runners to arrive home: Mudguard, Maandi, Jungle Fucker, Tommy the Who and Next Week did not receive a fair share of down-downs-once again; Sore Rail advertised the up coming TGIF/Krakatoa Hash weekend, but Fanny doubted whether so the called live band at the Blue Moon in Anyer was in fact live: Catacombzee [Yard-dog] complained that Jonesy would not let him run: Jonesy was complimented for increasing the price of old shirts, especially for people from Irian Jaya; he announced that he were organizing a ‘Headband Promotion’ in the near future [surely an excellent example of just one of the innovative ideas from him and this committee]: concern was shown for the fact that since working with Konkrete Kock the once respected Leeky Dick has taken to wearing a woman’s wig and imitating black singers: a guy alongside me was pissed off as he had misread the location of alcoholics anonymous from the Jakarta post; a visitor from Timika complained about being ambushed and gang banged by a group of yellow fellows with big noodles; there were some more than obvious references to the perils of a gang bang in Irian, by koteka wearing locals.

Bemo Bobs’ presence ensured a string of jokes from him and a number of others, including Hardcase, Witless, Angie and Catacombzee. There were good ones about, smallcox and neezles, escargots and big jugs, vampires and I especially chuckled [again] at the one about the Japanese fishing boat disaster where the female whale said to her mate that she didn’t mind blow jobs, but she would not swallow seamen. Some hashers were amused by the one concerning a former American presidents son, who replied to his wife’s query as to whether he had showered, by saying that he would wash up on the beach later. As a sign of the times, perhaps, Hiroshima jokes were no where to be heard, but lets hope that such traditions will not disappear altogether, as we look forward to Hitler’s Birthday.

Following the goings-on at the beginning of the circle our most dreaded RA, call me Slobidan ex-Herpes, the main instigator of pain for erring hashers was less vengeful than usual. He shared his role with the menopausal Angie, the other RA, who has totally lost the plot, and become just a plain ordinary nice guy hasher, seemingly without a single vindictive bone in his body. Some say that Angie is more concerned about his ever-increasing gut and its eventual fate. Perhaps a weekly measuring of said protuberance, at the circle, may help!

The MM was Crusty Nuts who briefly gave us an excerpt of the S and M man, then on to Hello My Old Haw [S and G tune] and Bang-bang Lulu got an airing. The co-hares attempted to fob us off with with an Algerian Folk dance instead of a song, but were then forced to sing the hares song, which was an ode to the beauties of Hiroshima and a lot of wa wa wa wa! While this was going-on Yoshie was sleeping after a deserved extended period on ice. When eventually he was dragged into the circle he was pissed off, because the song had been sung and so he gave us a rendition of some Japcrap. To the tune ‘The Yellow Rose of Nagasaki’ it appeared to pertain to the fact that western men [except the Welsh] smell of old Camembert, and that the women look like Tuna that has been left to rot for a month in the sun and then dragged behind a horse over aardvark vomit etc etc.

There were no achievements and no awards. There was no Prick of the Week, although Yoshi was the obvious choice, as maybe the first hare to go to sleep during the circle and his song.

There was no on-on-on announced.

Back to the bonsai [E.M.].

Click below to go to :