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HASHSHIT HOLDERS - Boltoneon - Mudguard

Statistics: Members 24, New Members 1, Past Member 1, Visitor 0. Total 26.

Your correspondent set off from work knowing that he was going to be late, but he was in a positive frame of mind and had cast aside any prejudices that he may have harboured against these particular hares, whose track record was less than perfect.

Arriving ten minutes after the start I foresaw no problems, as I knew the countryside quite well and any case the hares were not capable of setting what could be regarded as a cerebral challenge. After a ten-minute slog uphill I spotted The Rope aimlessly strolling along and apparently picking daisies. After passing the time of day and a consolatory comment on the state of English rugby I had no further time to spare and sprinted on. Soon I came across Col. Bludlust who broke into a stumbling jog when he saw me approach. Raconteur and bonviveure extraordinaire Tarzan descended from the left after leaving the pack, which was now on the slopes above and to the right. He and Col. decided that the run was a lefty and set off in that direction. Feeling strong and bounding with energy I decided to attempt to catch the pack. I never did, but what the hell, I found and then followed paper all the way and enjoyed exploring the mountains all alone. Near the highest point I was at one time startled by the appearance of Catacoombzee, Jungle Fucker and a few others striding towards me. Enough was enough for them they were happy to have got that far, but now it was time to return the way they came. A smile and nod and I resumed the trail. Over the top and now down through the valley to the left, across a rustic football pitch where I was cheered on by an appreciative crowd, through isolated hillside homesteads and out amongst the lonely paddy fields. The glare of daylight was now failing fast and paper was more difficult to discern. The slightest twinge of panic that paper would be lost! Of creatures stirring and a night spent wandering the ghostly sawah. At one or more times I was forced to stop and think my plan again, but always remembering that I could not be outdone by a pair of hares with an IQ which would bearly total half a ton. The lone croak of the first kodok of the night brought me back to reality and I rushed on, another darting shadow amongst the evening’s undergrowth. Along the valley a little more, across a boulder strewn mountain stream, up the hill and to the left and soon I was to happen upon a wider and more rutted path. A final glance, to the left and then the right, but I was really in no doubt, which was home, and I made that final dash. Welcomed and only mildly abused I settled with my first glass of amber nectar and looked forward to an evening spent in good company. Been there, done that. I enjoyed myself.

A dismal few hashers turned up for this run. Perhaps the site, perhaps the inevitable rain at Hambalang [which never came], perhaps the hares! None of this though detracted from the circle.

Run discussion: Witless remarked that he does like running up hill so it was all downhill for him: Looney Wain said something about oxymorons which dumfounded the morons who set it; Bemo Bob said it was exceptionally something: KK thought it easy; Yoshi said professional and a good run for old pros; Col. Bludyslut at first had no comment but eventually said nothing; Tarzan thought it a good run off paper; Herpes thought it predictable and Hardcase quite enjoyed it. It appeared that that run had catered for all tastes and it was declared a pretty good run by the Hash Master.

Rugby World Cup Roundup: There were early down-downs for the English for not trying against New Zealand, the Japanese annihilation by the Welsh was tactfully ignored; Col. B. brought his ball and stick and sang Hymns and Arias.

Jokes: Looney told us a racist joke about Kiwis which the hash master was less than amused at, Looney also told one of those jokes about interchangable arseholes: Bolt1on told one about a morticiary and there were amusing references to the similarity between his new girl friend’s name and certain sexually transmitted diseases; Hardcase had practiced in front of the mirror and told one of his small penis jokes.

Religious Advisor The lean and mean Slobidan [ex Herpes] strutted around, ensuring a degree of decorum. Just for a laugh he punished the Manyana Twins, Next Week and Postponed, followed by those who smiled, spoke out of turn, simply adjusted themselves or sported exotic shorts. His persistent persecution of scribes has been reported to the committee, and it is hoped that when they get around to talk to him they will also mention his annoying and repeated Germanic arm raising mannerism.

General Information: Fanny informed us that his badly fitting T shirt was the reason why people thought he had a grotesque and hideously deformed body. Bolt1on gave me 10,000rps to say something nice about him in the sheet, but to avoid any possible KKN slurs this was immediately given to Hash Cash Hardcase.

Awards and Achievements: KK received his 3,500^th run T-shirt and then displayed the effects this had on his

run- ravaged body. Guess who [gattling gob] was Prick of the Week simply for being himself.

Hares Songs: Bolt1on valiantly tried to sing something to the tune of London Bridge, but it was all the better for Yoshi’s additions concerning the River Kwai Bridge. I personally really enjoyed Angies song. Given with all the fun and flare that only an accountant can provide. This had everything [except a tune and decent words].

The on-on at Hambalang Restaurant was good fun for the ten or so that stayed, but the food was crap.

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