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Statistics: Members 32, New Members 0, Past Member 0, Visitor 2. Total 34.

A long and straight stony path, paralleling the toll road took us on our away. Soon there was grumbling from the pack that this was going to be a hard slog without the day’s rain to cushion the ground. Instructions from the co-hare that we should not cross the toll had us all convinced that we would sooner than later take that route. An abrupt stop, a check back, and the pack was bunched and searching for paper once more. Tarzan was the first to spot the way, to the left of us, and we all followed him from our various directions. Little did we know, at this time, that the trail would turn out to be a simple lefty and we were never to cross the carriageways.

This next part took us out across sawah, over streams and through a wooded area, unfortunately though we were quickly to return to uncivilization and for fifteen minutes or so we uninspiringly weaved our way across roads, and through new estates and kampung. Out again into the sawah, where the whole of the pack seemed to have converged. Even the new group of front runners Leeky Dick, Sadist and Mudguard, were there alongside the likes of Catacombzee and Tom Jones, who had more mysteriously arrived at this point.

In no time at all we were to come across a large and elaborate Chinese cemetery, which if it had not been for the fact that we were on a hash run would have been an impressive site. Abandoning all hash rules and traditions we entered and navigated our way around, eventually to emerge and come across another cemetery where once more we were forced to transgress. The final part of the run provided more countryside, a few interesting checks and the pack was to become strung out, mostly to arrive back before 6.00pm.

Of course Koncrete Kock was the last to arrive, at about 6.27pm; he had apparently turned this simple lefty into a figure of eight and he tried to explain to me how he had eventually returned after crossing the toll etc etc. During the discourse Tom Jones showed up and appeared to take a real interest in the story. Thankfully I was able to sidle off. Yoshi, who apparently arrived first and on paper, was at this time explaining his blueprint for success, to an admiring group of fellow countrymen, including KK, Botaksan, Ichycock and Postponed. VA Rating 3.24 [110/34]

Why does bad news come in threes? Any case lets take a positive attitude to the goings-on and first of all congratulate the hares for talking over the reigns of this run at such short notice, after Holp Joop [former self styled Hasher of the Year and very intimate friend of the hare] had let us down badly. A few mistakes were made, but all in all it was good run, if a little short for some. In future though other hares should note that, we do not run through cemeteries, the beer truck should be less than 14.5ft from the circle, the circle should not be immediately next to the toll road, we should avoid being too close to houses etc etc etc.

Run discussion: The theme of the discussions centered on cemeteries and whether or not the hares should be put on ice or even given a hash shit. Slobidan [ex Herpes] said they had tried to get a hash shit so it should not be one. There were various inane comments and attempts at jokes about the departed from Angie, Stretch, Tommy the Who, Tarzan, Yardog, Tom Jones and Mr. Jerker. Fucky Wendy who is leaving soon said something about flawntering with the rules, but probably meant flaunting with ghouls or floundering in pools. The Deputy Hash Master, Fanny, declared it a good run, but more was to come……

Musical Interludes: Crusty Nuts who was sporting a rather nice [tightly fitting] sarong gave us excellent renditions Bring Back My Dead, Jim Jones and something else.

Religious Advisor. First of all Mandi was rightly given a down down for Yawning, Jungle Fucker was in, and then Americans for sending randy ducks to Europe. Dr Gerker noted the similarly between the Indonesian dream team and our own Magic Dragon and Konkrete Kock, and received just desserts. Slobidan [ex Herpes] was though saving his severest punishment for those that had forced us to cross two cemeteries. A double icing was dished out and we all hope that a lesson has been learnt. Pricks of the Week were more than obvious.

Hares Songs: The much maligned co-hare, Witless gave us and excellent rendition of New Haw New Haw [original penned by your trulys]. The hare give another version of Tom Dooley and then something like ‘I’d Love to go a Wanking with Witless by Side’, the latter being moderately well received.

Awards and Achievements: The Rope received a shirt and a mug for 150 runs and sung Some Dirty Mother…, [placing him in contention for next years MM]. KK received a 350 run mug. Fanny received his 100 run shirt, showed us what’s left of his body, and sang Wanking on the Planking. This all built up to the final salute to Hardcase who is off to Australia [a large trapezoidal island in the Southern Hemisphere] after 631 runs, to set up in the lucrative Becak business, with BB and Tightarse. The regulation song were sung, a final joke was attempted, a leavers mug was christened, a few tears were spilt, Bolt-I-On said some nice words and there was a lot of hand shaking. Out of respect we sang, Fuck Off you Bastard, Fuck Off!!

The on-on was at the Top Gun Back to the bonsai [E.M.].

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