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HASHSHIT HOLDERS - Boltoneon - Mudguard

Statistics: Members 29, New Members 1, Visitor 1. Total 31.

 THE RUN Site: Jalan Alternatif, Cibubur

 Once again I was a few minutes late, but no problem Yoshi could still be seen shuffling along in the distance. Thinking of his younger and fitter days he urged me on as I passed him by, soon I was over the brow and there before me in the valley was the pack running every witch-way. I descended and soon came across Vatican Rag and Rab Eye, who were watering the sawah, and deciding which way they were going to take. I was later to pass them three times again during the coarse of the run. Never quite catching up, with the rest, I was in one of those moods when it was difficult to rid myself of the stresses and strains of the day and was quite happy to trot along, without trying to attack the front runners. I started to recognize parts of the trail now, but anycase I liked the open countryside and there were few diversions through kampung. Following rain earlier in the afternoon and it had turned into one of those seriously hot and sticky times of the day that takes a heavy toll on the body. Somewhat slippery underfoot I regretted choosing treads for firmer ground and the clinging mud was now slowing me down. The pack was no more than a couple of hundred yards in front, but gradually I was being left further behind. After half an hour or so we were close to, and were rapidly approaching, Ali Baba restaurant. Had the hare misjudged us, was this going to be a run too short? No! Cleverly he took us through that popular site, under the bridge, and once more out into the countryside. Along the river, we were now confused as to where the final site would be. There was no direct crossing of the river which was in flood, so we made our way onwards, firstly past one rickety bamboo bridge and then to the second where we were to make our crossing. Up and out of the valley and the choice for our eventual destination had been whittled down. My earlier jog had decelerated to a country stroll by now, and I was caught up by Fanny. At one stage the hare had marked a point where we should take-in the view, but Fanny remarked "Fuck the view I’d prefer to have a beer.’’ The end was to come soon, with plenty of arrows we emerged at the site once more close to Jalan Alternatif. It seemed that every one else was back. I bolted down my first glass of amber nectar, avoiding Col. Bludslut, who’s sniping remarks about getting lost, short-cutting and getting old, were not what I wanted to hear.

 The second point to point in a row and a number who must not yet have returned from the Jungle Run in Sulawesi were probably the reasons why there were low numbers for this run. Dr. Ghurka had flown in direct from the Jungle and reported that Brown Eye had organized a superb weekend. Unfortunately Dr. Ghurka had picked up something unpleasant in the jungle and saw fit to bring it along to the circle. The offending sub-primate was small, hairless and very load, and it jumped up and down, chattered and made a general nuisance of itself all night. Thankfully it is the last remaining example of the species Froggicus scotparkii, and hopefully it will have been returned to the wild by next week.

 Announcements included, thanks to Tom Jones who has stood in as co-Hash Cash following the mid term decision by Hard Case to seek greener pastures down under. When it came to the run discussion there was hardly a negative comment. Next Week, Froggy, Jerker, Bolt1on, Tom Jones, Angie, Tarzan, Bludlust, Rab Eye and suprisingly even Witless all appeared to think it was a good run. Superbrat, Ass HM, tried to stimulate something more interesting than just a good run. He reminded us of the recent Dog of a Run, but that got us involved in a somewhat over technical, and at times tedious, discussion on run classification, which really was only of importance to the few who are interested in the strict code of practice for hashing. Anycase to summarize. What appeared to be decided was that a Dog of a Run is very similar to a Bog of a Run, except that the former actually starts and / or finishes in the grounds of a rope factory. With this mind the following are virtually interchangeable, Bog [or Dog] Standard Run, Bogs [or Dogs] Breath of a Run and of course a Bogs [or Dogs] Bollocks of a Run.

 Early leavers included Bolt1on and his ‘friend’ Holly Joop, the aforementioned muttering something about a four shit day. As usual VR, Simply Fred, Yard Dog [or Bog] and Next Week left early and in future it may be good policy to get these bastards in for down downs early on.

 Col. BludsplatteredoverhisTshirt was soon to interject and remind us all the it was St. Andrews day and not one of the half a dozen or so Scotties had thought fit to commemorate the day, by setting a run. It had been left to a Paddy. There was an early down down for Skin Head something about War or Whore crimes. Angie, RA, was later to get the Welsh and those with Welsh names in for punishment, and these were followed by those with animal names like Froggy, Crusty Slug and the Tom Jones. Those wearing Roman sandals and German slippers were rightfully punished. It was noted that 190 Germans had died from Viagra in Thailand and the antidote was quickly administered to those krauts who were attending, including GoblokM and Skin Head.

 Crusty Nuts, MM, was in good form with Darwin’s Fair City, and Waves and Waves, though as times there was a lack of discipline and generally to much talking from Yap Yap and company. Froggy attempted his two jokes, but thankfully Jonesy reminded him that the Hash has now moved on since his days. He explained that to attract more new members we were now catering for a new breed of discerning more sophisticated hashed so perhaps in the future he could work on his two jokes with this in mind.

 The sole hare, O’Fornicator, gave us a rendition of a song that was well received, but I had no idea what the tune was. There was little comment on the fact that he was wearing his grandmother bloomers.

 GoblokM received a severely soiled 450 run shirt and tried to sing us a song, but inevitably the chorus changed it to the evergreen ‘Go for a Fuck with GoblokM.’

Back to the bonsai [E.M.].

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